by Fleur Camcho
“Thanks so much Aunt Minnie. My car broke down and I need a ride to my friend’s house. Is that okay?”
“Well sure, dear.” The old lady pulled at her gearshift while staring at the dashboard. “I just need to get this out of park. Gets stuck sometime.”
“Okay, thanks so much. Can we move a little faster? I’m late.” Laura searched the woods and found Urban staring back at her from the trees.
“Well, honey.” Aunt Minnie was still trying to get it in the right gear. “You scared me so much I put the car in park and now I’ve got to get it unstuck. And your lack of preparation doesn’t mean I’ve got to hurry.”
Laura yanked the gear in the right spot. “There you go.” She smiled brightly and Aunt Minnie began to inch forward.
“You shouldn’t run out into the road dear. I could’ve run over you. Would you like some ice cream before I drop you off? I’ve got some at my house. It’s vanilla.”
Urban watched them as they plodded down the road and Laura would’ve laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation if she wasn’t so nervous.
“No thanks, Auntie. Just drop me off at Kayla Ford’s apartment. Maybe next time?”
❦
Laura banged on Kayla’s door. “Kayla, wake up! I need to talk to you.”
It was getting dark and Laura walked, shivering, to Kayla’s window. Digging through the snow, Laura found a couple of small rocks. She threw them all but only one hit the window.
“Kayla!”
The shades drew and Kayla’s face appeared. “Laura, what are you doing? I have to work in a few hours and I’m still sleepy.” Her hair was tousled and she looked tired.
“I need to talk to you.”
Kayla sighed. “Alright, I’ll be out in a minute.”
Laura jumped up and down, trying to keep warm. Kayla opened the door with a steaming mug in her hand.
“Took you long enough. I’m freezing out here.”
Kayla handed her the mug. “It’s not my fault you’re running around without a coat on. What happened to your face?”
Laura touched the bruise on her face. “What do you mean? Did something else…?”
“I mean it’s gone. Your bruise.”
“It is?”
Kayla nodded.
“Hmm, I guess it just healed.” Laura shrugged.
“I don’t know.” She took a tepid sip and the hot chocolate slipped down her throat, burning her tongue. “Oh jeez, this is heaven.” Kayla made the best hot chocolate.
Kayla padded back to the kitchen and grabbed another mug, poured milk, a teaspoon of nutmeg and chocolate syrup in it, and stuck it in the microwave. “So. What’s so important you had to wake me and all my neighbors up?”
“It’s only six. Your neighbors aren’t asleep yet.”
Kayla looked at the clock on the microwave. “Oh, crap. I’d better shower, I gotta get going. I was having the best sleep of my life.” She rubbed her eyes; the depth of her brown eyes accentuated the shadows under her eyes and it made her look exhausted.
Laura didn’t answer right away; she was too busy looking through Kayla’s cupboards. She grabbed a power bar and took a bite. “I know, I’m sorry. I need just a minute.”
“Why aren’t you at work? I thought you had to work tonight.”
Laura waved her hands. “Don’t worry about that right now. I need to talk to you.”
“Well, talk then.” Kayla took a sip of her hot chocolate.
“I just stabbed Urban in the arm with a fork.”
Kayla spit her chocolate out. “Girl! You crazy. What happened?” She put her mug back on the table and washed off the hot chocolate.
“Kayla, he threatened me. He said if I didn’t tell him where that guy from the hospital is, that he would…” Laura faltered. Did he really mean that he would hurt her? Thinking about it, he never said exactly what he would do. Was he saying that he was going to do anything to her? Or maybe he was talking about that guy. Kayla was staring at her, waiting for her to finish. “Do stuff.” She shoved the rest of the power bar in her mouth.
“Do stuff? Like what?”
She finished chewing and swallowed. “These are kinda gross.” She thought for a minute. “I want another one.”
“Laura, what did he say?”
She grabbed another bar. “I’m not sure. He just hinted at it. But it sounded bad.” Laura reconsidered. Did he really mean anything so bad? She’d thought so at the time but now she wasn’t really sure. All she knew was that her instincts were telling her to run. Right then. “At least at the time it did.”
Kayla looked at her skeptically. “Okay, well if you say so.”
“Look, you know me. I usually don’t get involved in your love life. Not even when you crushed on John for way too long.”
“Except with Kenny.”
“Except with Kenny. He deserved it.”
Kayla smirked. “Yes, he did.”
Laura grinned. “I’ll never forget that look on his face.”
Kayla laughed. “I don’t think he’ll be having babies any time soon.”
“Or ever.” Laura’s smile faded. “Seriously. I’m not sure why, but I want you to stay away from Urban. There’s something not right about him.”
“What about you? You should stay away from that John Doe. He sounds dangerous. Did they ever figure out what happened in your fields?”
Laura shrugged. “I’m not sure. We’re just lucky it wasn’t summer.”
“Girl, have you even been back home today?”
“Nope, but I will soon. Seriously though, stay away. Okay? We’ll both promise to stay away from both of them. They’re nothing but trouble.”
Kayla leaned on the counter dramatically, spreading her hands out. “But he’s so hot! Why?”
“Kayla, for real.”
“Fine.” She didn’t look happy. “Only cuz I love you.”
“I know.” Laura smiled and pushed Kayla towards her bathroom. “Go get dressed. I need a ride back to my car.”
Kayla flipped around. “What? How…?”
“I ran here. Well, Aunt Minnie gave me a ride. After Urban was chasing me through the woods.”
Kayla turned back. “I’m not even gonna ask cuz you just crazy.”
CHAPTER THREE
Laura stared at the picture by her nightstand. Usually she kept it face down, unable to look at it, but she felt a flash of quiet strength. Water dripped from her hair onto the floor , wetting the carpet. After a moment, she put it back down, still face down, and walked over to the mirror. She dropped her towel to the floor and stared at herself, naked, in the mirror. She couldn’t stop thinking about that guy, so she’d taken a shower to relax. She counted her ribs; she could see three on her left side and two on the right. The bottom left one was lopsided from where she’d waited to go to the hospital and it grew back crooked. Her eyes drifted to her breasts as she considered their size. One nipple was higher than the other. What would he think of them?
She heard a thump on her window. What the…? She peeked out the window, taking care to cover herself with the curtain. His face stared back at her. She stepped back, dropping the curtain. He didn’t look down but stared straight into her eyes.
She ran to her closet, threw on a tank top and pajama pants.
“What are you doing here?” She still didn’t open the window but mouthed through the glass.
“Let me in.” He had a new shirt on that hugged his chest.
“Why should I?” She crossed her arms.
He breathed on her window, fogging it up, and traced the letters P L E A S E. “Please.”
She rolled her eyes. “Fine.” She opened the window and he jumped into the room. He was still barefoot and had no jacket. “How are you not freezing?”
He grinned at her and she grinned back. “I told you. I don’t get cold easily.”
“Yeah yeah. You’re from the North. Why that means you don’t need shoes or a coat, beats me.”
“Who told you I was
from the North?”
“Urban did.”
He rushed to her. “You saw him? Laura, I told you to stay away from him.”
She took a step back. “No, you said to run away from him. You said to keep Kayla away from him. And I did.”
“Which one?”
“Both.” She grinned, satisfied, and he took a step closer to her.
“Thank you.” He pulled her close and took a deep breath in. “I just want you to be safe.” She smelled like sunshine and happiness, and it made his heart beat.
She couldn’t move away from him but stared into his eyes. They were deep pools of blue. “Is that why you’re here?” His fingers traced down her arms and he nodded.
“Yes. I probably shouldn’t have come back. But I had to make sure no one came for you.”
“Did you ever think that maybe you’re the one I should be afraid of?”
His hands dropped but he didn’t move back. “What makes you say that?”
“Urban says you’re dangerous.” She leaned forward a millimeter; she wanted him to touch her.
“He did?” He traced her arms again.
She nodded, relieved that he was touching her again.
“Do you think I’m dangerous?”
She nodded again. She was breathless and longed to touch his face.
“Well, you have good instincts then.” He didn’t look at her as he said this.
“I’m good at ignoring my instincts, though.” She finally stepped back and touched his face, like she had at the hospital, and traced his cheekbones and eyebrows, then his jaw and his neck. He stood as still as a statue and she listened to his rapid breathing. Then she lightly traced his lips and he sucked in his breath.
Her bedroom door burst open and he was gone. Where’d he go? She stood speechless, staring at the intruder at her door.
Her dad snapped his fingers. “Laura.”
She shook her head. “Yes?”
“I said, you got money for the gas bill?” His eyes were glassy and red.
“Huh?”
“The heat. You said you wanted it on, now you’ve got to pay for it. Your mom said it’s due.”
“Oh, sorry. No. I need to stop by the bank.”
He stared darkly at her and her stomach clenched. “Make sure you give it to me tomorrow, okay?”
Laura swallowed hard. Like hell she was giving it to him. He might get pissed if she didn’t, though. She shrugged. “’Kay.”
“Hey, why does your room smell like that?”
Laura blushed. “Like what?”
“I don’t know, like flowers or somethin’.”
She shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“You’d better not be spending your money on flowers. It’s just a waste of money.”
“Whatever.” She closed the door and swiveled around, whispering so her dad wouldn’t hear her. “Where are you?” She opened her closet door; he was sitting on top of a pile of dirty clothes.
“What are you doing squished in there?” She grinned, looking at him crushed in her tiny closet, and tried to stifle a yawn. Today was exhausting.
“I had nowhere else to go.” He crawled out and she helped him get up. He held onto her hand and pulled her over to her bed.
“What are you doing?”
“Taking a nap. With you.”
Her mouth dropped. “Why don’t you go home?” She didn’t really want him to go home.
“I can’t.” He dropped onto the bed and spread himself out, putting his hands behind his head. His new shirt inched up and she could see his hipbone. Her heart thumped loudly and she hoped it wasn’t as loud to him as it was to her. “Why not?”
He reached up and grabbed her, pulling her on the bed with him. “Because I can’t.”
She didn’t reply but just reveled in the feel of him next to her. She was just slightly shorter than him, her head fit just under his chin, and he twined his legs with hers and rubbed her arm softly. They sat quietly, each feeling the other’s heartbeat. “I don’t even know your name.”
He stilled. “Do you want to know it?”
She pulled her head back to look him in the eyes. “Uh, you’re in my bed, dude. I would like to know the name of the guy who’s in my bed.”
He pulled her back in and caressed her arm again. She felt him swallow hard. “It’s just that…” He hesitated and she waited patiently. “It’s just that knowing my name has power.”
Her eyebrows knit. “Urban told me his name. What’s the big deal?”
“‘Urban isn’t his real name. He uses that name sometimes, but that’s not his given name.”
“Then what’s his real name?”
“I can’t tell you.”
Laura sat up. “I don’t get it. You know my name. You both know Kayla’s name. It’s just a name.”
He sat up and mirrored her. “If it’s just a name, then why does it matter if you know it or not?”
Laura struggled to explain. “I don’t know. It’s just… I feel like it’s important somehow. Like I’ll know you when I know your name. If you’re good or bad. If I should trust you or not… I don’t know.”
“Exactly. There’s power in a name.”
She was quiet. This wasn’t the answer that she was expecting. They stared at each other, each trying to read the other’s mind. The air became heavy.
Finally, Laura had to know the answer. “Do you want to tell me your name?”
He pulled a strand of hair out of her face and whispered. “Yes.”
She swallowed hard. “Okay,” she whispered back; she felt the importance of the moment.
“Are you sure? There may be… consequences.”
She nodded. “Yes.”
“Okay.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “It’s Jace.”
A force hit her so hard that she fell back on the bed. A fire enveloped her whole body and burned through it. Her heart grew so big that she thought it would burst. She dragged a breath in; her lungs were on fire, and she coughed. “You didn’t say the—” she coughed again, “—consequences would be like this.”
He was flat on the bed, staring at the ceiling with his chest pulled forward in pain. She sat up and felt faint. She grabbed his jeans to keep herself from falling on top of him. He griped the bed cover and his mouth was open in a silent exhale.
“Hey.” She pulled on his shirt and his eyes turned towards hers. “Are you ok?”
“Wa—it.” He choked on air.
She grew lightheaded again and fell on top of him. He threw his arms around her, groaned in pain and clasped her tight. A brightness blinded her and she covered her eyes. Then she felt weightless and a peace so incredible, she never wanted to open her eyes again. Images flashed before her eyes, some of them so fast that she couldn’t make them out: a mother gazing lovingly, falling through the sky so fast she thought she was going to hit the ground until something buoyed her up, arguing with an impressive man, feeling terror while watching lightning race through the sky. Then feeling unimaginable agony in her back; it was burning and twisting and she groaned in pain. It subsided and she felt anger and dread. Rancor dripped down her throat as she laughed, fake, while her whole inner core felt hollow and lifeless. Then her back was on fire again and the pain was so intense, she passed out.
❦
She awoke to a worried face staring down at her. Jace looked different somehow. She could see the love and purity he exuded, just radiating off of him; it was almost as if he was glowing. Something deep within her let her see him as he truly was: so kind, so compassionate, so willing to put other’s needs before his own and the feeling of knowing him, of seeing the truthfulness of his character, overcame her. He could swallow up all the hate and anger and pain in the world and replace it with love and healing.
He didn’t speak but only studied her as she stared back at him. He traced her face with his eyes, taking in the glory of the way she was looking at him.
Finally he spoke. “You are so beautiful.” Then he
traced her face with his fingertips. “Your cheekbones are amazing.” He traced them. “Your nose… your eyes… your eyelashes… your forehead…” He was tracing them all. “Beautiful.” She swallowed. His hands traced lower, down her neck, tracing both collarbones and then it came to rest on the space where her heart beat erratically under his hand. “And your heart. So full of love.”
She reddened. “How would you know?”
He grinned. “Oh I know. Now I know everything. Just like you know everything.”
She blinked.
“You might not understand everything, but now, you know the power of a name.”
She cocked her head to the side. “What happens if it’s someone you hate? Like Urban. Or whatever his name is.”
He laid his head on the bed, pondering.
“You already know his name, right?”
He nodded.
“So what happened when you found out?”
He tried to explain. “It wasn’t like that, I grew up knowing him. And so it wasn’t a… discovery of sorts.”
“What about the rest of them?”
“Actually, I grew up knowing all of them, so this is new for me, too.”
She let the information sink in. “Am I the only one you’ve told your name to, outside of your—people?”
He laughed again and she was embarrassed. “Well, what am I supposed to call you?”
“What do you want to call us?”
She stared at him. “I’m not sure.”
“I’m sure you can think of something.” Now he looked embarrassed.
She shrugged. “Why don’t you just tell me what you’re called?”
“Oh, that reminds me.” He reached into his pocket and unfolded something, then gave it to her. Through the moonlight, she could see that it was a twenty-dollar bill folded to resemble a rose.
She sat up. “What’s this?”
He sat up and crossed his legs. “It’s a flower. I thought you would like it.”
Her eyebrow arched. “Is this the twenty dollar bill I gave you?”
He nodded. “Do you like it?”
“How on earth did you get this shirt then?” She tugged at it, then leaned in. It smelled like a new shirt and a clean linen candle.
