"I have seen the plants do things that would have required a command from you, but you showed no signs of making it. Sometimes, you get a peaceful look on your face, and I just know you are communing with the Earth. You are beautiful when you do it, even more so than normal. If that were at all possible." The last words were spoken in a whisper.
And he'd somehow crossed the last distance of space that separated us, but I hadn't even realised. He was now standing almost chest to chest with me. My eyes were trained on a button on his crisp white shirt. I watched as the button rose and fell with his breaths.
"I think you are Gi royalty," Theo whispered. "I think you have forgotten, lost your memories. I think we may need to contact Gi and get you home."
My eyes flicked up to his to gauge his reaction to that idea. But there was nothing there to tell me he was saddened at the news. Just his blank mask, the one he wears occasionally to hide the pain he feels inside. But I couldn't be sure there was pain, I could only guess at it being there. Because if the level of pain I felt was enormous, then some of it had to spill over to him.
"But I was human," I insisted, shaking my head.
"You think you were," he replied, softly.
"No. No!" Firmer, stronger in my conviction. "I was born in Auckland twenty-three years ago. My parents names are George and Anne Eden. I have an older brother. We lived in Pakuranga while I grew up. I went to school with Sonya. We've been friends for ten years. I have never owned a passport. I have never been out of the North Island of New Zealand. I remember my childhood. I remember it all."
Theo's hands came up and held my shoulders, just like he had held Isadora's. It wasn't in any way intimate. And although it was familiar, I had been happy he hadn't been more so with his ex-girlfriend. But with me, that lack of intimacy now hurt.
"These are memories your brain has fabricated in order to understand the present. Without them the uncertainty could be too much for your mind to handle without breaking down."
"Theo," I insisted. "I have blonde hair."
He looked like he had forgotten that little fact for a second. His gaze washed over my head, taking in the dark blonde strands.
"There has to be an explanation for that," he said, sounding a little uncertain.
I frantically tried to find a way to convince him that shipping me off to the Amazon was not a good idea.
"OK," I said, grasping at straws. "Say you're right." I didn't believe it, not at all. "Say I am some long lost Gi princess." I wanted to laugh at that, but nothing here was humorous. "Why has it happened? Why are the Gi not looking for me?"
"Maybe they are."
"Wouldn't they suspect their enemies first? Have a spy here checking the Pyrkagia out? Who would recognise me," I said purposely.
Theo frowned.
"What if the reason I am here, and still going with your bizarre lost Gi princess idea, is because something happened in Gi that I needed to escape. Sending me back could be the worst thing of all to do."
That did it. That fabricated, stupid, idiotic reasoning to his suggestion, did it. Theo stiffened, his face showed a plethora of emotions for the first time in long minutes.
"I won't let them harm you," he vowed.
I let a breath of air out, relieved he wasn't going to speed-dial Brazil, but still at a loss to convince him it was all lies.
"You know," I pointed out, reaching for a vine in which to scratch my wrist for a drop of blood. "Athanatos are extremely paranoid beings. I know it's a little illogical to believe I have just become what I am now, from whatever transpired in that pit." I pressed a thorn into my vein and watched the blood well. I didn't even flinch at the sharp sting it had caused. "But it is equally as implausible that I would be suffering from amnesia and be a princess." The blood dripped slowly off my arm and to the ground. "Do I really look like a princess to you?" I finally demanded, my eyes raised to his.
And OK, calling on the Earth using my blood and flashing green from my eyes was probably not the best time to ask that question. But I was dressed in my yoga pants and hoodie, I was standing there as the girl who had stuttered and stammered in reply to every flirtatious remark Theo had made in my store over the past year. I was inexperienced and to some degree naive. I was wandering around this new world clumsily and gauchely. There was not a single piece of evidence to show that the person beneath the power and control and green eyes, was in fact regal.
The Earth shook and rumbled, a beast rising from a deep, deep sleep. Theo took a step backwards and leaned casually against the bark of a tree. He crossed his legs at his ankles, making himself comfortable, as though settling in to watch a good TV show, and then laughed. It was a gorgeous laugh. A rumble in his chest that matched the presence of the rumble in the Earth.
"You have always appeared as though a queen to me," he said, voice deep and smooth, but I could easily hear it above the noise the Earth and plants were now making.
A strange mix of elation and disappointment washed through me. He thought that? But, I wasn't convincing him. At least I'd managed to make him hesitate before announcing my presence to the Gi. Something told me that was not a good move at all. Better the devil you know, and although I didn't know the Pyrkagia well, I knew them enough to feel safer here than out in the big wide world with a branch of Ekmetalleftis that I actually had no connection to at all.
I didn't have an answer to the question of how I became what I am now. But I knew I was not born Gi.
The ground shook and the Earth opened up. Theo's casual stance had stiffened slightly at the magnitude of power on display before his eyes. It was impressive, I couldn't deny it. But I'd thought the Earth was in control, just following a request from me. Obviously, from the look on Theo's face right now, that was not the case. I was doing all of this, just using the Earth as the conduit to achieve my goal.
I took a shuddering deep breath in, trying to still my rapidly beating pulse at that realisation. Heaven help me, I was something entirely not of this world. The depth of panic at that knowledge was astounding. I thought I was going to be sick. I concentrated on what the Earth was spewing out of its innards instead.
Soil roiled away from the centre of the charred circle Theo and I stood on the edge of. Like water it washed over itself; a fountain of dirt rolling away and under, rising up on a wave and then disappearing into itself again. But from where it erupted a hole began to emerge. Slowly the hole got bigger and bigger, until crouched low, gold brimming his lowered lashes, Nico rose from the depths of the hell I had placed him within; unscathed with barely a smudge of dirt on him. Somehow he'd been cocooned in a cell, protected as instructed, kept safe on my command.
The Earth gave a few more small tremors, as the soil settled flat beneath Nico's feet. Even the charred evidence of our fight had been swallowed by that magnificent performance. Nothing was left to indicate a battle had occurred where Pyrkagia Stoicheio had destroyed my trees and plants. In its place were new bushes and vines, saplings, lush grass and verdant green leaves.
"Fuck," Theo muttered, under his breath. "Do you not see it now, Oraia?"
My eyes took in the sight of a perfectly safe and well Nico, and the picture of calm, quiet, and peace the alcove made.
It should have appeased me. Death had been replaced with new life. But all I could think was, I was about to be sick. I turned from a stunned looking Nico and awed looking Theo, and ran like the wind back to the house without saying a word.
Aktor stood in the hallway when I tore through the front door. His ancient face let me know he was aware of what had happened. There was compassion there, a sense of sadness, but also, I was unhappy to see, a perception of what I was. He was awed too, but in a way that told me he'd been in the presence of such unfathomable power before and he knew how to act.
I slowed my pace at the sight of him bowed, head low in respect and deference. I stared at Theo's butler unable to make a sound, my heart pounding in my head, my lungs screaming for air and my stomach contents demanding to
be let out.
I muttered an incoherent word or two, God alone knows what I said, and bounded up the stairs to my bedroom. Slamming the door, I was relieved to find the entrance between Theo's and my rooms fixed and locked. I threw myself on the bed, pulling a pillow to my face and screamed my frustration and fear into its stuffing.
What the hell was I? No longer human, but also no longer simply a Gi; an Ekmetalleftis like those Pyrkagia who had glared at me. I was more... and it frightened me. It scared me so much that I contemplated things I should never have contemplated at all. Fear can be crippling, can make you into someone you are not. Add confusion and exhaustion into the mix, and you've got a volatile cocktail of emotions that rock your soul and shatter your resolve.
I saw no end to this nightmare. The longer I remained in it the more terrifying it became. What would I find out next? What would happen to make me break completely? I was teetering on the edge of a sharp knife and I wanted that knife to slice me. Because surely the pain of actual injury was better than the pain of what I now felt.
I realised I was shaking, my body was violently shuddering as though I was having a fit. I guess, in some ways, I was. My mind was rebelling, my body was manifesting that rebellion in uncontrolled movements that left me spent. I had screamed and screamed when I grabbed that pillow. No tears. There were not enough tears to ease this. I was beyond crying. I was in a place that was bereft of the ability to weep. But I was not beyond mourning yet. And that mourning left me utterly exhausted.
I dozed off at some stage, my mind numb, my body aching in a strange way that let me know I was alive, when I'd really rather not be. I wanted to pretend this hadn't happened to me. I wanted to stop the desperate, yet useless questions to seek answers to how, why, what.
There were no answers. Not that I could see. And accepting that was a lot harder than I had thought it could be. I'm a practical person, but this... problem, was beyond my capacity to practically take. I had searched for meaning in something that was not meant to be. I was not meant to be.
I knew when Theo had come for me. I knew when he entered the room. He didn't use his Stoicheio, he didn't need to in order to elicit a response from my body. Simply walking into a room was enough for my senses to come alive. A sobbed laugh sprang to my lips, before he'd even reached the side of the bed where I was curled up in a ball; back to the door he'd used. Even when the rest of me had shut down, Theo Peters was able to make part of me feel alive.
The bed dipped at my back, letting me know he'd sat himself down there. A warm, large hand fell on my hip, the other brushed hair from my face.
"Will you eat something?" he asked, quietly.
I shook my head to say no.
"You must keep your strength up," he insisted.
"Why?" My voice sounded raw from the screaming.
"Because you used significant effort to retrieve Nico from the Earth. Plant life will boost your Stoicheio, but the part of us that is in human form, is taxed beyond reasonable measure when we call on our powers to that degree."
I did feel drained, despite having spent a good twenty minutes with my trees prior to retrieving - as Theo put it - Nico. But stomaching food right now was an impossibility. Nausea would make me feel worse, would make me remember what I had become. A freak. More of a freak than your average freaky Ekmetalleftis. What I needed was to forget.
"I don't want to eat," I said, forcing myself to speak the words. Words that I knew would lead us somewhere we hadn't yet been.
Theo's hands continued a soft, tender dance on my body. One on my hip. One in my hair. He didn't touch me anywhere else. But I craved for him to.
"What do you want, Oraia?" he whispered.
Heat rose up my cheeks giving me away. So familiar and usually so unwanted, but right now, the colour said more than my vocal cords could achieve. Theo made a low, hungry sound in the back of his throat.
"Tell me, don't make me guess," he persisted, moving closer, so his hip rested against my rear. I rolled to my back, making his hand at my hip shift. It now rested on my thigh, high up near the V of my legs. His fingers flexed, digging into the flesh slightly. His eyes stared at where he touched my body.
"I want to forget," I whispered, the words barely making it past my throat.
Theo's eyes lifted to my face and I almost lost all courage. How could someone look so desperate, so eager and yet so pained? With a shaky hand I reached up to run a finger along the edge of his firm jaw. He breathed heavily above me, but leaned a little closer to my touch.
"What do you want, Casey?" he asked, using my actual name, making this... real.
This was it. This was the moment I did something I had never been able to do before. Maybe, because of everything that had happened, I was able to face up to it. Find the necessary courage to ask for what I wanted, instead of running away with pink cheeks and a heavy heart. Had I not become this creature, would I never have found that bravery to reach for what I desired most in this world right then?
"You," I whispered, watching him close his eyes languidly, swallow visibly and inhale deeply through his nose. "I want all of you."
Chapter 15
But He Wasn't Done
"Are you sure?" Theo asked, his face tipped down to look me in the eyes.
My heart beat like bongo drums, my throat felt so dry I had to lick my lips and try to swallow to soothe it. My breathing was choppy and I think I may have started sweating. But despite the obvious nervous reaction to the situation, I knew I wanted this. I wanted it so much that I was shaking with the desire to have my wish fulfilled.
"Yes." I breathed the word out. His lips tipped up at the edges, his eyelids grew a little heavy and he made a sound of contentment at the back of his throat.
"Come," he said, standing upright from his position beside me on the bed. He held out his hand to me. "We'll take this very slowly, Oraia, I promise you that. But from the moment I laid eyes on you I have wanted this beyond all reason. Once we start I will not want to stop."
The honesty in his words was jarring. He held his hand out, palm up in invitation, but once I accepted the offer there would be no going back. Oh, I was sure, if I freaked out, he'd stop. But he was letting me know that this was the line drawn in the sand, and if I chose to cross it, there was no pretending that I hadn't wanted to anymore. There was no denying that I had chosen this path, he hadn't pushed me into it. I think it was important to him that I understood that before we proceeded further. I think he had always wanted me to be the one who made the first move.
I suddenly felt extremely liberated by that fact. Theo could have used his Stoicheio to achieve what he desired, but he'd respected and cared for me enough to let me choose.
My hand slipped into his and a brief flash of relief washed his handsome face. His eyes sparked gold and his fingers gripped me tighter, as he pulled me to my feet.
"I want to see you," he murmured, huskily. "All of you."
Oh dear God, I had a feeling I wouldn't be able to refuse the request. I had never been naked with another man before and it thrilled me and terrified me at the same time. What if he didn't like what he saw?
He walked backwards towards my bathroom, his hand still wrapped around mine, his eyes never leaving my face. There was a glint of anticipation evident in his gaze, mixed in with a hell of a lot of hunger and desire. I had the sudden image of a lamb being caught by the lion. But this lamb wanted the lion's touch. This lamb walked willingly into the lion's den.
Once we crossed the threshold into the tiled ensuite, Theo reached over my shoulder and gently pushed the door closed at my back. He moved backwards, dropping my hand and leaning against the vanity. His eyes trailed slowly over my frame.
"Do you think you could strip for me?" he asked, voice low and sexy.
I shook my head emphatically to say no. He smiled reassuringly.
"There is much delight to be found in giving your lover something he desires, Oraia. Even when that something seems so very hard to do."
/> He reached up and undid a button on his jacket, his fingers deftly slipping the dome through the buttonhole. The next button followed suit. I was captivated, mesmerised. And they were only freaking buttons, what would I do when faced with a naked Theo before my eyes?
The jacket slipped down his shoulders and he gathered it up and lay it on a seat in the corner of the room. He was still overdressed when he turned back to me, but didn't pause before he began to undo his tie. It was a black bow-tie, it unravelled to reveal short wavy ends. He tugged it free of his collar and tossed it in the chair.
"Are you enjoying watching?" he asked, hesitating at the top button of his white shirt.
I nodded, and then felt such hot flames lick up my cheeks that I was sure all Pyrkagia could sense my embarrassment.
"Then do you not think I would like the same?" he asked, cheekily I thought.
I let a small amused breath out and felt my shoulders relax, ever so slightly. My shaky hands reached for the zip on my hoodie. I could do this. One layer, just to not appear like a frozen dork. The zip sounded way too loud in the small confines of the bathroom.
Theo undid the top button of his shirt. The hoodie came undone and hung open, still on me. A second button on his shirt came undone, then he paused, eyes on mine. I worked to keep my breathing at least a little regular, I had no hope of him not seeing his effect over me, but I was valiantly trying to control it somewhat. I slipped my arms out of the hoodie and tossed it over the same chair his jacket and tie lay on.
A third button on his shirt came undone. He stopped.
I was wearing my yoga pants, a fitted singlet top and my black sneakers and socks. As well as underwear, but I was trying not to get too far ahead of myself right now.
"I've seen you with your shirt off already," I said, rather boldly and bravely I thought.
"Your point?" he asked, still not moving to undo a further button on his shirt.
"Well, it seems cruel to torture me like this, when it's something I have already had the pleasure of seeing."
The Tempting Touch Of Fire (Elemental Awakening, Book 1) Page 15
