by Tonya Blount
―Oh, now I knowsomething‘s up?‖
―Taj, ain‘t nothing up. I‘m just trying to learn how to enjoy life. That‘s all. I‘m tired of arguing and shit. It got to be more than that to life. I told you last week I‘m on some new shit now. You ain‘t believe me?‖
―It‘s not that I didn‘t believe you—‖
―So why are you acting so surprised?‖
―I‘m not surprised. I‘m proud of you.‖
―Oh, you are, huh? And you‘re real smart too…‘cause you know just what to say.‖ ―Nah, for real, I‘m not playing. I‘m saying…I see you making a effort and I wanna thank you. ‗Cause I know this time of the year is real hard for you, but you trying to put that behind you and I‘m proud of you for that.‖
―Thank you. Come here and gimme a kiss.‖
―That‘s it? You could slip a little tongue in there.‖ ―No, I couldn‘t have either…‗cause you ain‘t even
brush your teeth yet.‖ We both laughed.
―Boo, you need to walk Madison.‖
―Taj, why you always waiting for me to get up to walk
her?‖
―Storm, ‗cause that‘s your dog. And don‘t trip, ‗cause you knowI walk her more than you do.‖ ―But it‘s nine o‘ clock in the morning. She should have been out already,‖ I headed to the bedroom to get dress. ―No wonder she‘s acting crazy.‖
* * * ―Damn, it‘s cold out here,‖ I said attempting to shake the shivers.
―Look what you got on. You ain‘t dress warm enough.‖
―I got on two sweaters. Oh, did anybody call me? I left my cell.‖
―Yeah. I didn‘t answer your cell phone but Black and Mimi called on the house phone.‖
―What Mimi want?‖
―She wanna confirm that you still coming in for your massage at one o‘clock.‖
―Today?‖
―Yeah.‖
―I think I got it in my Palm for tomorrow.‖
―Oh, yeah and Black said call him…it‘s a
911.‖ ―What‘s up?‖
―He ain‘t say and I ain‘t ask him.‖
―Shit. I don‘t feel like dealing with no drama today.‖
―Just call the man and see what‘s up. Don‘t get stressed before you even know what he calling about.‖
I walked to the night table and picked up the cordless phone from the handset.
―Hey, what‘s up?‖
―Yooooo, one of my peoples called me from VA and said they saw Pam and some other chick on Crimesolvers,‖ Black said.
―WHAT? What for?‖
―They said that they got footage of them shopping in some store. I think it was Hay‘s department store. And bust this? The woman ID they used…she worked for same store.‖
―You playing?‖
―Nah, it‘s crazy, yo.‖
―I know that bitch ain‘t crazy enough to walk in the
stores and not be camouflaging and shit. I know she know better than that.‖ ―They say they sure it‘s Pam. They was showing four different shots of her.‖
―She is so damn stupid—‖
―What happened?‖ Taj interrupted.
I turned my attentio n to Taj. ―Hay‘s in VA got Pam‘s ass on tape charging.‖
―Oh, shit!‖ Taj said.
―And bust this? They offering a five thousand dollar reward,‖ Black added.
―Word?‖
― You know as much as she goes down there somebody is gonna recognize her and turn her ass in. For five Gs…that‘s easy money.‖
I began pacing the living room floor.
―Storm, calm down baby, don‘t stress it, ―Taj urged. Then he stood behind me and gently massaged my shoulders. ―Whatever happens…I mean that‘s on Pam and her dumb ass. You ain‘t got nothing to do with that.‖
―Black, listen I‘ma talk to you later.‖
―A‘ight. Yo, we need to talk about the other thing.‖ ―What other thing?‖ Then, I quickly remembered our discussion about the magnetic card reader. ―Okay. Well, we can talk about that later. Give me a call later on.‖
―A‘ight.‖ ― Black, listen, just make sure you let me know as soon as you hear anything else.‖
―You know I will.‖
―Alright then. Thanks for looking out,
Black.‖ ―Hey, now you know I got you, ma.‖ I hung up and walked over to the sofa, disgusted I buried my face in my hands. ―I can‘t believe she be out here working sloppy. I can‘t believe this.‖
―Storm, listen, baby, you don‘t need to get yourself all stressed about that shit. That‘s Pam problem. If she went out there and didn‘t make sure she was correct, it‘s on her. Why you so nervous?‖
―‘Cause how I know it ain‘t gonna come back on me?‖ ―What do you mean? The only way that shit is gonna come back is if Pam talks if she gets caught. But…you see, see what I be saying.‖ ―What?‖
―You don‘t even trust her ass. That‘s what. You always defending her ass and I be telling you to watch out for her and now look at you. Look at you! You stressed!‖
I couldn‘t even pretend that I wasn‘t bothered about Pam possibly talking. ―Of course I‘m stressed, she works for me.‖
―You need to handle your business. That‘s all I‘m gonna say.‖ Taj started walking to the bedroom. ―I am. Don‘t worry, Pam‘s ass is on punishment…believe me when I tell you. Taj? Taj, why you walking away from me? I‘m talking to you.‖
―‘Cause I gotta take care of some business. This dude Arrow acting like he want me to bust a nine in his ass.‖ ―But I thought we was gonna go ice skating today.‖ ―We are, later when I get back. Don‘t you gotta go for your massage?‖
―That‘s right. Make sure you be back by five, Taj.‖ The telephone rang. ―Storm?‖
―Yeah.‖
―That‘s your girl on the phone now. You gonna pick up?‖ ―Yeah, I‘ll take it. Hello.‖
―Hey, girl, what‘s going on?‖ Pam
asked. ―You tell me,‖ I answered dryly.
―Girl, how about me, Peaches and Nina got into a
fight at The Tunnel last night.‖
―A fight?‖
―Yeah, girl! We whipped this bitch
ass.‖ ―Why?‖
―You know how when you in The Tunnel and there be
groups of people reppin‘ their hood?‖
―Uh-huh.‖
―This chick from The Bronx came over to where we
were at and started kicking it with Big. You know Nina used to fuck with Big and was kicking it with him. Nina gave her a look like you need to bounce. But the bitch was bold she gonna bump Nina and then have the nerve to bend down to whisper something to Big. Well, you know that was all she wrote. Nina grabbed her no frills weave and started kicking that bitch ass.‖
―Oh, you made it seem like all y‘all had a fight.‖ ―We did. You know we ain‘t gonna stand there and not jump in.‖
―Pam, how you sound? If nobody else didn‘t jump in for the girl why y‘all didn‘t just let the both of them fight?‖ ―Girl, you know how we
do.‖ ―Whatever.‖
―Damn. What‘s wrong with
you?‖ ―Oh, nothing really.‖
―Yeah, right. I can tell something is wrong with you. What? You and Taj had an argument?‖
―How can you tell? I mean, you so busy telling me
about your fight.‖
―Storm. What‘s up with you?‖
―That‘s a question I need to be asking you. You the
one shopping and getting caught on tape.‖
―What? Why you skipping? What the fuck are you
talking about?‖
―You know what? I ain‘t going into this over the phone.‖ ―Okay. Well, I‘ll come over.‖
―No you not. It‘s Christmas Eve.‖
―It‘s Christmas Eve and you don‘t celebrate Christmas.‖ ―I am today.‖
―So, you celebrating Christmas?‖
―That‘s what I
said didn‘t I?‖
―So when you gonna meet with me and tell me what
the hell is wrong with you?‖
―I don‘t know. Maybe tomorrow,‖ I quickly answered
back without thinking that was Christmas.
―Maybe tomorrow?‖
―That‘s what I said right?‖
―I thought you had some work for me.‖
―You thought wrong.‖ I slammed down the receiver. I
can tolerate some things, but one thing for certain…I can’t
tolerate anyone or anything jeopardizing my empire.
* * * After my massage, I called Rick and had him pick me up and take me to 23rd Street to buy a Christmas tree. The salesman decided to give me a mini lesson on Christmas trees. I decided on a six foot Douglas Fur. Finally we stopped at Macy‘s and I bought twenty boxes of white lights for the tree and two boxes of purple bows to decorate the tree.
The stores were crowded, folks were laughing. Salvation Army‘s volunteer Santa Clauses‘ were out in their last attempt to get money for the season. I could see and almost could feel how folks got caught up in the Christmas season.
* * * By 4:45 p.m. Rosa had the tree decorated. I had turned the radio on to WBLS. They were playing continuous holiday music. Taj‘s Christmas gifts were neatly under the tree. I had done it.
I heard the key rattling and I hurried in the room to turn off the lights.
―Storm, baby, you here?‖ Madison ran to Taj.
Then I turned on the Christmas lights. ―Merry Christmas!‖ Taj stood silent. Then I began to cry. I had convinced myself that I was doing all this for Taj. It wasn‘t until I sang Merry Christmas when I realized that this was for me too….that in my attempt to make Taj happy and finally embrace what we had together, I had set the pain that held me hostage all these years free. Miss LT would be proud.
Chapter 10
―Five.‖
―Four.‖
―Three.‖
―Two.‖
―One…HAPPY NEW YEAAAAAAAAAA!‖ The
simultaneous clicking of the room full of glasses drowned out the music that was playing. Loads of confetti, and red and white balloons descended from the ceiling.
Taj wrapped his hands around my waist pulled me close, and whispered. ―Happy New Year, Storm!‖
―Happy New Year, Baby,‖ I said in elation.
―2004 is gonna be our year. Bigger and better things are on the way. Anything you want you got.‖
―I already have everything I want, Taj.‖
―But it‘s just the appetizer. The shit we about to eat is the full course meal.‖ I reached for his hand and kissed it. ―You know what? I‘m so grateful for you. I always knew I would be successful,‖ I paused and looked around at the crowded room of high rollers and ballers. ―Partying here tonight with P. Diddy, and Dame Dash, I mean this ain‘t no surprise to me. Shit, I belong here,‖ I declared with a trace of arrogance. ―But I never knew I‘d have a man in my life that know how to love every corner of me. Somebody I can be free andsafe with…somebody I can share my world with.‖
Beyoncé‘s, Dangerously in Love had appropriately begun to play. I quickly turned my back to him, and began passionately grinding him.
Taj put his hands on my waist and rhythmically moved my body with his. Then he began kissing me on my neck until he reached my ear and with his deep sexy voice whispered, ―Let‘s really go celebrate…and bring this in the right way.‖
Even though my Boo is hard as hell on the streets. He knows how to take care of me, I thought. Here I was bringing in the New Year with the man I love, in Miami at the Mercury Resort Spa heading to our penthouse suite. Life couldn’t be better than this. Without saying a word, I held his hand and followed him as he squeezed and maneuvered off of the dance floor.
Being with Taj always suppressed the memories of my ugly past. It stopped the war that was being fought within me. He had found a way to make this ghetto girl‘s heart sing. Somewhere in between, the light began to shine.
After being together for three years, Taj and I definitely had our share of problems. Neither one of us was ready for love. Hustling does that to you. You get so caught up with winning the game that you don‘t take the chance of opening up your heart and losing. But we didn‘t consciously take the gamble on love because love chose us. No matter what we did to get rid of, or ignore it, at the end of the day we were in the thickness of it. The innocence and power of our love—that connection— was totally undeniable.
* * * When we arrived at our suite, Taj asked me to close my eyes. As he opened the door, I instantly smelled the sweet aroma of flowers. He held my hand and guided me inside, the more steps that I took the stronger the aroma became.
―Alright baby,‖ Taj said, ―now you can open your eyes.‖ I slowly opened my eyes and it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. There were roses everywhere. Purple and red rose petals made a trail leading to the balcony. In the living room, there were vases filled with roses. On the cocktail table there was a huge tray of chocolate covered strawberries. My mouth opened but I couldn‘t speak. I was at a loss for words. I turned my attention to Taj, as we gazed in each other eyes– they were glittering with our love. While the tears rolled down my cheeks, Taj carefully cupped his hands on my face and I placed my hands on top of his. Then he softly kissed my tears.
―Baby, why you cryin‘?‖
―Because I…I never thought I would be here,‖ I whispered. ―I mean I never thought that I could have someone love me like this.‖
―You know I really love you,‖ Taj said. ―You‘re everything to me, Storm. You‘re my perfect Storm…just rain on me, Baby.‖
I wrapped my hands around his neck, tip-toped and replied, ―And you‘re the bling bling in my eyes.‖ I walked around the room in amazement, picked up one of the roses and took a sniff. ―Baby, when did you have all of this done?‖
―Remember when I told you I left my
wallet…‖ ―Yeah. You did this by yourself?‖ ―Yeah,‖ Taj answered, opened his arms showcasing the floral arrangement. ―You ain‘t know your man could get down like this?‖
―I don‘t know what to say. This is beautiful.‖ ―You ain‘t gotta say anything. Come on, I got something to show you.‖ Taj grabbed my hand and took the lead following the colorful path of petals that led to the balcony.
―You cold?‖ Taj asked.
I shook my head. ―Nah, I‘m okay.‖
―You arecold,‖ Taj turned to walk inside our suite. ―I‘ma go get you a jacket.‖ ―You don‘t have to,‖ I said grabbing his hand, ―I told you I‘m fine. Matter of fact, it feels good out here. But I know one thing…as soon as we get back to New York we gonna be some sick asses. When I spoke to Black earlier he said it was eight degrees there.‖
―Let‘s not talk about New York,‖ Taj said while he pulled me toward him as he leaned on the balcony. ―I don‘t want to talk about nothing but us.‖
We both stared out at the picturesque view. The brightness of the moon‘s reflection glared on the running waters. I inhaled the smell of the sea. Exhaling I asked, ―Isn‘t this beautiful?‖
―Yeah.‖
―I love the sea, its one of the few places where I feel comfortable at. Did I ever tell you that?‖
―You did. I wish I could package it up and hand to you. I love the look on your face when you are here.‖ ―It‘ s the one place in the world that is quiet but not totally. Where you can hear music and no matter what state you were in when you arrived, when you leave peace belongs to you. You know what? I think we should buy a spot down here.‖
―That‘s what you want?‖
―Yeah, we‘re down here enough,‖ I said. ―I mean it‘s like a second home now. We could buy a condo or something. What do you think?‖
―Anything you want. You know that, ma.‖
―Taj, why you staring at me like that? You look so serious. What‘s wrong?‖
―Why does something have to be wrong with me
admiring my woman‘s beauty?‖ I smiled and tightly embraced him. ―Thank you.‖ ―For what?‖
―For coming into my life.‖
Taj turned his attention to the table. ―Pour us some of that Cristal.‖ ―Okay.‖ I walked over to the table and reached for the flutes.
―Put some ice in my drink.‖
―What?‖ I asked. ―You know you don‘t put no ice in Cristal.‖
But Taj insisted, ―Just put the ice—please.‖ Then he revealed a guilty smile.
As I reached for the ice bucket, I noticed what looked like a piece of ice with metal on it sitting conspicuously on top of the ice cubes. Convinced my eyes were playing tricks on me, I closed them tightly then opened them again. And to my surprise it was still there. While my mouth grew instantly dry, and the palm of my hands became moist I felt my legs being carried away. The excitement had my heart racing out of control and it felt as though it was about to come out of my chest. I put my hand on it in an attempt to soothe the intensity of the beats. I couldn‘t believe it. It was a yellow canary diamond ring, which had to be at least five carats.
Taj walked over to me, took the ring out of the ice bucket and while never removing his eyes off of me got down on one knee. ―Storm, baby, I don‘t know why you picked somebody like me.‖ Taj nervously licked his lips. ―I ain‘t got no big time degree in philosophy but I got a degree in streetology. It ain‘t no denying that we gotta bond that‘s unbreakable. We always gonna be together. No matter what happens in the street we gonna be together. ‗Cause I can‘t circle this life alone – without you. The shit I have worked so hard to build—my club, the houses, my
rides —it don‘t mean nothing to me if I ain‘t got you sharing it with me. It‘s all about you. I mean…your real. You a hustler and you know the streets. The streets obey you. But at the same time, you ain‘t forget how to be a woman, too. I ain‘t never met a woman that knows how to hold it down on all levels.
‗You‘re my road dawg.‖ Taj put his head down and tried to shake his escalating emotions. ―You‘re my best friend, my happiness…my idol.‖ Then Taj took my left hand, and carefully guided the ring on my finger. ―You definelove…the power to destroy someone but you trust them not to. I love you. And now Storm Williams, I want you to be my wife.‖