Blood, Blades and Bacon

by Matthew Roys

  “Can you do that?” KT asked with a raised eyebrow. She was genuinely curious as to the extent of his abilities.

  Déaþscúa was silent for a moment. “Well no… I do know people who can.”

  “And where are they?” Kai asked sarcastically. Sarcasm was his default response when it came to people in authority.

  “Not here,” the man admitted slowly.

  For how imposing the man was he had the quality of a large dog. He seemed endearing and friendly until threatened when the snarling wolf would rise from the mists of ancestral DNA. KT felt safe around him despite his dangerous presence and her own better judgement. “What is going on? Tell us. Please.”

  Déaþscúa rubbed his stubbly chin with a scarred hand. “Fine. I’ll tell you whatever you want to know on the condition you return to the lodge and don’t seek me out again. Danger follows me like a shadow and it won’t take much to consume you both. You have to understand that. This might all seem magical to you but in reality it is a series of gruesome deaths just waiting to happen.”

  The two teens looked at each other then turned back and nodded.

  He sighed again. “What is your first question then?”

  Kai raised a hand. “Err, I seem to be bleeding. Do you have any disinfectant or bandages?” He turned so that Déaþscúa could see the claw marks that cut furrows into his skin. The wounds weren’t deep but they still bled, soaking into his black shirt and working down to his jeans.

  “Do I look like a doctor to you?” Déaþscúa said. He placed a hand on the injury causing Kai to wince slightly. The same light bluish glow emanated from his hand as when he had healed KT’s stomach. “I’ve stemmed the bleeding. It’s just a scratch so don’t worry.”

  Kai shuddered under the man’s touch. The glow seemed to make him nervous and he kept trying to look around to cast distrustful glances back at Déaþscúa.

  The second Déaþscúa was satisfied with the injury he turned and started a brisk walk into the forest in the direction of the lodge. After a slight pause, KT and Kai set off after him.

  KT tried her luck with the first question. “Can anyone use magic?”

  “No,” was Déaþscúa simple reply. “It isn’t a regular occurrence. It’s all down to blood, existing magic or cosmic events. Many gifted humans don’t even know why they can do what they do. There are very few of us left in the world. Once there were a lot more.”

  KT looked disappointed but quickly recovered and pressed on. “Well, why are you here? Did you come for the succubus, or the goblin?”

  “Goblins and succubi are everywhere. I wouldn’t come out to Scotland for something so small,” Déaþscúa said as though the monsters were nothing more than annoying insects. Despite his tone, his features settled into a frown. “I’ll admit though, that goblin’s behaviour was far from normal.”

  “Why? It was ugly, smelled bad and tried to kill us. Seems pretty goblin-like to me,” Kai observed.

  “Three reasons. Firstly, goblins are nocturnal creatures. For them to wander out in the sunlight is pretty unusual in itself. Secondly, goblins will never attack unless they're confident they’ll win. That means attacking the weak or outnumbering their prey. After all, they're creatures that hunt in a pack. A lone goblin attacking two healthy humans makes no sense. Finally, the goblins know that I am in the area. Usually, most creatures will hide away if I’m within a ten mile radius of their territory. It isn’t just that one goblin ignoring me. I can sense that the whole pack is on the hunt. That’s very strange indeed.”

  Déaþscúa continued through the forest as though the rough terrain didn’t exist. His movements were easy yet confident, taking him past the trees, branches, roots and bushes like he knew every inch of his surroundings. Kai and KT were basically jogging just to keep up with him.

  “Why are you here then? You think there is something worse out here?” asked KT, fearing the answer already.

  Déaþscúa laughed bitterly. “There is much worse out in these woods. I seek the worst. You don’t need to know any more than that.” His tone lightened slightly. “Anyway, you never answered my question. How did you track me?”

  “We followed the scent of bacon.” Kai answered, happy to be back on a topic that he knew.”

  “Curses! Foiled again by my one weakness!” Déaþscúa said overdramatically. Lowering his voice slightly but keeping with the dramatic tone he continued. “But it was worth it. Oh how it was worth it.”

  Kai examined the man sceptically. “You don’t carry any supply bags. You don’t have enough pockets to carry food and water for an extended trip. That means that you must have a base around here, right?”

  Déaþscúa smirked as he opened up his coat and lifted up his shirt. Underneath it was a vest made from individually wrapped bacon strips.

  “You have a bacon vest? That’s awesome!” exclaimed Kai as though it was the greatest invention of humanity.

  “I’ll let you in on a little secret. Bacon is resistant to magic. Someone throws a fireball at me and all that happens is that I end up with ready cooked bacon. It shields me and is a conveniently portable food supply.”

  “What about the actual heat from melted plastic and cooked bacon against your skin? Surely that still burns-”

  “Enough about bacon!” interrupted KT. “We stand at the doorway to a world of wonders and you want to waste time talking about meat.”

  They were nearing the lodge now. KT wanted to get as much knowledge as she could before Déaþscúa tried to leave them again. She was about to ask another question when Déaþscúa suddenly tensed. It was like seeing a vicious predator suddenly realising that it wasn’t the nastiest beast on the prowl. Without a single word he burst into motion, leaving the two teens behind.

  “I smell smoke,” hissed Kai. “Not the good kind either.”

  KT sniffed heavily. Kai’s sense of smell had always been better than hers. It took her a moment but as soon as she looked for the smell it was there. Faint but foul in the pure forest air. A dark smudge was rising through the sky above the treetops ahead of them.

  “What could be burning around here?” she began. “The only thing for miles is…”

  “The lodge!” roared Kai as realisation hit him like a hammer blow.

  Without heed of the branches that lashed at their skin, KT and Kai barrelled through the forest in the direction that Déaþscúa had vanished. The smell of smoke grew stronger and the sky started to grow dull as black clouds rose up to choke the blue heavens. The path between the trees quickly became obscured and their panting breaths turned into chokes as the smoke filled their lungs.

  Then they were out in the open. Smoke covered the area like a blanket but the ruined shell that had once been Aife’s Lodge was all too clear. The aged wood had turned black as fire consumed every surface. The glass from the windows was shattered everywhere and stone lay as debris wherever the eyes looked. What remained of the once ornate furniture was now littered across the clearing. One of the walls had completely collapsed, leaving a gaping wound into the building’s gutted remains. Flames had melted the snow, reducing the grassy glen to a churned field of mud.

  “Oh god!” KT choked as she took in the devastation.

  Déaþscúa stood nearby, pistol drawn. He was advancing towards the signpost that had once born the lodge’s name. Now it had been converted into a crude crucifix where a human body had been nailed. A human whose blood stained face was all too familiar.

  “Mum!”

  Chapter 4.

  The twins sprinted toward the signpost in a mad stumble, any sense of caution immediately abandoned. In an instant they were at their mother’s side, tears rolling down their faces as the sight before them pierced through the initial shock.

  Tara Redthorn was a strong woman of unbreakable calm who never seemed to have a hair out of place. Now she hung upon a mock crucifix, her shining golden hair matted with clumps of dried blood, her pale skin nearly unrecognisable beneath cuts and bruises and her fine-cut w
inter clothes were tattered and burned. Long nails that had once held some part of the lodge together were driven through her flesh into the rough wood. Blood ran from the punctures, dripping down into a crimson puddle below her hanging feet. A thick coating of dirt and ash covered every inch of her.

  Kai frantically moved around her, seeking out any means to get her down from her torture. KT grabbed a rock and placed it beside the cross. She stepped onto it then placed her ear upon her mother’s bloodsoaked breast and listened. A faint beat was just audible.

  “She’s still alive!” KT cried out, the words coming out as choked sobs.

  Kai jumped up to join her, listening for himself just to be sure. His hand shook maddeningly as he grabbed at the nails that secured her outstretched arms to the wood. The metal was slick with blood and his fingers couldn’t find a secure grip.

  Déaþscúa came up behind them. He still held his pistol at the ready as his eyes scanned their surroundings ceaselessly.

  “Move,” he ordered as he slid the guitar case from his back and clicked it open. All warmth had left his voice. He was now very much the wolf poised to kill.

  Inside was a beautiful sword. It was a large blade of shining metal, long and wide with both edges having a deadly sharp edge and a pointed tip that could easily skewer armour. From the ground it reached up to Déaþscúa’s chin. The guard was a white humerus bone with two metal dragons twined around it so that each fanged head rested upon either rounded extremity. The balled tips of the bone had been carved into skulls, the deep eye sockets containing glinting rubies like baleful crimson eyes. The dragons’ tails dropped down, spiralling together to form a firm gripped handle. The tail tips met at the pommel to hold a wicked looking fang.

  “Get behind her and brace yourselves,” Déaþscúa told them. KT obeyed him instantly while Kai hesitated for a moment, his eyes never leaving his mother. He bit his lip and followed his sister. In one swift movement, Déaþscúa swung his blade at the base of the cross, the metal slicing cleanly through it. The cross groaned then fell backward into the twins’ waiting arms.

  Déaþscúa placed the sword through a strap on his back, not bothering to pack it away into the guitar case again, and moved to check on the woman. He ran a hand over her, his face never hinting at any emotion as he eased the nails out of her flesh then lifted her slightly to place her beside the cross.

  “Can't you save her? Heal her with that glowing hand magic like you did to me!” KT begged. She wanted to move, to do something to help, but she couldn’t do anything more than stand helplessly by.

  The man continued to examine their mother as he spoke. “I’m no healer. I can ease minor injuries but she needs someone devoted to saving lives. She’s badly beaten and is suffering from bloodloss. I can slow her death but can’t prevent it entirely.”

  “Then we have to call an ambulance. We will save her!” growled Kai. His hands were white from clenching so tightly.

  From his coat, Déaþscúa fished out a mobile phone and tapped in a number. He held the device to his ear with one hand while the other began to glow over the woman’s chest.

  “Jearl, I need a pickup ASAP. I’m at Aife’s Lodge in Abernethy Forest,” he said briskly then put the phone down, sliding it back into a pocket.

  He turned back to the two teens and opened his mouth to speak when his pistol flashed into his hand and fired past them. There was an abrupt scream as KT and Kai whipped around to see another goblin fall to the floor missing most of its chest.

  “Get ready!” Déaþscúa shouted.

  No sooner had the words left his mouth than the forest erupted into a frenzy of activity as dozens of howling goblins spilled out from the trees. Crude knives, axes and clubs swung wildly as the foul creatures barrelled forward, malice glinting in their small, dark eyes.

  There was an explosion of sound as Déaþscúa fired his revolver, hammering the trigger with such speed that multiple shots merged into one peal of thunder. Six twisted figures fell like rag dolls but the others didn’t even flinch.

  Well practiced movements saw the gun reloaded from a pouch across Déaþscúa’s chest. “Grab a weapon and brace yourselves! You keep standing there gawping and you will die!”

  Kai nodded shakily, picking up a ruined table leg out from the rubble. As he was bending down, a yellow glint from the darkness of the forest caught his eye. He stared for a moment as the baleful glow doubled then resolved themselves as a pair of savage eyes on a bestial face.

  “Déaþscúa! Behind you!” he called out.

  Déaþscúa span on the ball of his foot just as a giant wolf with ragged grey fur leapt out from the trees, blood slick claws and razor sharp fangs reaching out for the man’s throat. His opponent was larger than any canine, with features that could be attributed to a humanoid more readily than a beast. Clawed hands flexed with powerful muscles instead of paws, bulky arms filled with strength connected to broad shoulders, and impressive abdominal muscles suggested a weightlifter rather than an animal. It stood on two legs but its angular face and fang filled snout were all too animalistic.

  He shot it once but the bullet achieved nothing before its hand slammed into Déaþscúa’s face. Déaþscúa flew backward but flipped easily back to his feet. Claw marks oozed blood upon his cheek and exposed white bone, but even as the two teens watched, the wounds began to seal themselves.

  The first of the goblins dived at Kai and he quickly lashed out with the table leg, splattering the creature’s brains across the dirt. Bile rose up in his throat and he would’ve thrown up if he’d had the chance before more of the grey skinned horrors were upon them.

  “Catch!” grunted Déaþscúa as he threw his revolver and the ammo pouch at Kai. Dropping his club, Kai plucked them clumsily from the air and instantly fired at a goblin that had just jumped to reach his head. The gun kicked back, almost smashing into Kai’s face with the recoil but the monster exploded, coating him in a shower of blood.

  KT was crouched beside her mother, hurling rocks at any goblin that advanced too close. There were too many to hold at bay any longer. She grabbed her mother’s arms and frantically pulled her through the slurry towards the wall of the lodge.

  Leaning her mother against the wall she scrambled for a weapon. Nothing nearby presented itself as a valid choice. A hiss from her side made her turn to see a goblin with a dagger scrambling toward her. She only had a second to act. Her hand sped to her belt buckle and she clicked it open. In one flourishing movement she whipped out the entire length, smashing the far end into the goblin’s nose with a satisfying crack.

  Swapping ends she brandished the belt like a whip, striking one goblin in the face with the heavy metal buckle that depicted roses growing from a skull, then swept away another’s legs. Like a snake it lashed out again and again, spinning through the air to form a safety zone around KT and her mother. Against humans it would have been pointless but the small size and thin bones of the goblins made each strike count.

  Closer to the forest the werewolf howled angrily as Déaþscúa drew his sword. It glinted threateningly in the light of the rising moon.

  “Lycan,” he observed calmly. His eyes took in every detail, analysed them and provided conclusions in the brief second before the werewolf charged at him. Déaþscúa sidestepped and brought his sword down to slash at the beast’s flank but the lycan sprang into the air with unnatural grace and landed upon his back. Fangs snapped to tear at the back of his neck but Déaþscúa threw back his head, smashing it repeatedly into the wolf’s snout.

  Déaþscúa repositioned his sword into a reverse grip then thrust it at the werewolf’s side. The beast jumped away again only to bounce straight back at its prey. Claws and blade met in a death-lock.

  Meanwhile Kai had given up trying to follow KT and was now focussed only on keeping the goblins at bay. He emptied the revolver and was fumbling to reload the weapon. The goblins’ numbers hadn’t seemed to decrease at all.

  Kai was forced to abandon reloading when a crude
axe swept toward his chest. He parried with the revolver then kicked at the goblin’s bony chest. He felt bones shatter beneath his sole.

  “I can’t hold them off with a gun!” he shouted to Déaþscúa. “They’re too close!”

  Déaþscúa ducked under a swing then span away from an incoming attack from the other side. His sword flashed out, forcing the lycan to back away a few steps.

  “What, you want the sword instead? Let me fight the giant wolf in close combat with a pistol? You wouldn’t even be able to lift this!” he snapped. As he said this, the lycan knocked his sword to one side and slashed at Déaþscúa’s chest. Ragged cuts pierced flesh and sprayed blood. “Bloody brilliant!” he spat before punching the werewolf in the kidney.

  The wound knit itself back together but Kai noticed that it was taking longer than that first injury had taken to heal. A goblin then jumped onto Kai’s head and started clawing at his face with dirty fingernails. He couldn’t see a thing. He stumbled around blindly until he felt the wall of the lodge then smashed his head into it, squishing the creature between his skull and the wall.

  Behind him the lycan launched into a flurry of attacks that tore at skin and jarred every bone. Déaþscúa cursed as blood blurred his vision. He stepped forward into the lycan’s defence and slammed his pommel into the beast’s maw. Fangs flew from its mouth to litter the floor. Dazed, it swung at him but Déaþscúa stepped to the side then severed the hand with a decisive flick of his wrist. The wolf screamed, the sound a terrifying mixture of man and beast that seemed to shake the heavens. The lycan thrashed its remaining hand at Déaþscúa who, despite blocking, was thrown back into a tree with a sharp thud.

  A soul rending howl issued forth as the lycan made ready to finish the job. Its battle cry was cut short when music suddenly began to blare through the trees. ‘I’m a Barbie girl in a Barbie world. Life in plastic, it’s fantastic. You can brush my hair-’ Déaþscúa fumbled angrily through his pocket for his phone. The lycan cocked its head at the sound then ran at him but Déaþscúa batted it away with the flat of his blade.