He rubbed a hand over his jaw. “I—your father, I mean, his solicitor made it sound that you agreed to an annulment.”
She stood, unable to bear any more. “What nonsense. I told my father no annulment was possible. I am married to you for better or worse.”
“You were forced into it.”
“Because I wanted to be. I have loved you from the first day I met you.”
“Oh, Lindsay—”
At the emotion in his tone, she needed no more encouragement. She took a step toward him and suddenly, she was in his arms, pressed so tightly she could hardly breathe. It was as much as she could have wished. She wanted to laugh and cry at once. “Why didn’t you answer my letters? Not even a word—”
She was cut off by his lips against hers. Nothing else mattered at that moment but his kiss, his mouth seeking hers hungrily.
“God forgive me,” he finally managed when they broke apart. “I tried so hard to give you up. I don’t know if I can again.”
She laughed, her arms tightening about his neck. “You don’t have to. I’m here to stay.”
He tried to release her, but she clung to him. “You can’t stay here.” He raked a hand through his hair, emitting a frustrated laugh. “Look at this place. I don’t even have enough coal to burn.”
“I brought twenty pounds with me,” she said, her eyes twinkling. “We can live on that for now.”
His blue eyes looked tenderly into hers. “I am not the right husband for you.”
She stared back at him steadily. “You are if you love me.”
The atmosphere grew very still. “It is because I care for you with all my heart and soul that I want something better for you than I can give you.”
“If you love me, you’ll have the courage to tell me, the way your actions have shown me ever since I’ve known you.”
He looked down, avoiding her eyes. The seconds ticked by. Finally, he sighed, his chest pressing against hers in a shuddering intake of air. “I cannot lie to you, dearest Lindsay,” he finished in a whisper, his eyes once more looking into hers. “When I spoke those wedding vows, I spoke only truth.”
“Then nothing can separate us,” she said, bringing her face up to his again.
His kiss was slow and gentle this time, as if the two of them were sealing a pact. There was no turning back, no matter what the future held.
When they sat across from each other at the table again, he said quietly, “I will do all I can to provide for us, but I warn you, it’s not an easy life. It’s not what your father wishes for you, nor I.”
She smiled indulgently. “Perhaps we can move in with Florence and Jonah for the time being. Or maybe with Elizabeth and Jacob?”
“I’m sure either would take us in, but it’s not the answer. I must find a more lucrative way to make a living.”
She reached out and covered his hand with hers. “You will not leave the ministry. God will provide. You shall see.”
He nodded, clearly wanting to debate the issue further. But she pressed his hand. “Trust in the Lord you showed to me, and you will see what great things He has in store for us.”
His eyes looked into hers. “He brought you into my life, and for that alone, I will be forever thankful.” His glance fell on Abby, who had murmured in her sleep. “And now he has given us a family. I trust in His provision.”
Lindsay smiled, satisfied. God would take care of their future. She knew that now, without a doubt. After all, He had given her Damien. That was all the proof she needed.
Epilogue
One year later
Lindsay patted Alistair Jonah Hathaway on the back after his feeding. He was a good baby, and she was thankful for the plentiful supply of milk she had for him. Already he had gained a few pounds since his birth a fortnight ago and was looking rosy and cuddly.
“There,” she murmured, hearing him burp against the towel draped over her shoulder. “Now, sleep well and let Mama listen to Papa preach. That’s a good boy.”
She settled her son into the wicker cradle at her feet and turned to face the church from where she sat in the chancel.
The sanctuary was filled to capacity. Little wonder, since it was the inauguration of the new building. The congregation held several members of the ton, including the Bishop of London, but the vast majority were laborers, shop owners, servant girls and even some less savory individuals.
Young Peter gave a small wave from where he sat in a pew. His sister jabbed him in the ribs.
“A good crowd today, isn’t it?”
Lindsay turned to Florence at her side and nodded with a smile. Beside her sat Jonah with their baby daughter, several months older than Alistair, asleep on his shoulder.
On Lindsay’s other side sat her father with Abigail on his lap. After Lindsay had returned to Damien, she had continued visiting her father daily. At first, he’d refused to see her until she agreed to an annulment, but when she remained firm, he finally relented.
“I always thought you were your mother’s girl,” he’d told her one day during his convalescence. “Sweet tempered and soft.” He smiled at her for the first time since she had defied him. “You have proved to be not so easily malleable. I am happy to see you have something of me in you.”
She returned his smile uncertainly, unsure where he was headed. “What do you mean?”
“You are stronger than I ever gave you credit for. Not afraid to stand up for your convictions.”
She stooped to help Abby right a pile of blocks she had toppled. “I stand up for those I love.”
He nodded, then paused as if the next words cost him some difficulty. “I hope there is room for your father in that love.”
“Oh, Papa.” She dropped the wooden block and reached out her hand to him. “I’ve always loved you and always shall.” She lowered her voice. “If you’ll give yourself the chance to know Damien, you will see what a fine man he is. A man to be proud of as your son-in-law.”
He said nothing, just pursed his lips and nodded.
She was, therefore, stunned when a few days after her visit to him, his solicitor had called on them and told them her father owned a building in their neighborhood which he wanted them to occupy. If they agreed to renovate it and use it for the ministry, he would furnish all the costs. Shortly thereafter, Damien received an official summons from the Bishop of London.
“It seems the charges against you concerning immoral conduct were unfounded,” the bishop had said, much to Damien’s surprise.
Damien was reinstated into the church. When told of a new living, he had not accepted immediately. Instead, he had consulted with Lindsay, and after much prayer, he had told the bishop he would accept a curacy only if he could begin a new church in their neighborhood. To their surprise the bishop had agreed.
Her father had made a sizeable donation to begin the building of the church right next to their home.
Today was the first Sunday service in the new church. “Let us give thanks to the Lord.” Damien stood in the new pulpit and lifted his voice. It carried the length of the sanctuary, strong and sure. Lindsay rose along with the rest of the congregation as the choir began a hymn of praise.
Her husband’s eyes met hers from the pulpit and she smiled. Yes, they had much to give thanks for.
QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION
Damien is the last man a person would qualify as vain. He has accustomed himself to his disability, so he hardly ever thinks of it anymore. Why does meeting Lindsay for the first time throw him off balance?
Lindsay is a young lady of the fashionable world. What draws Lindsay to Damien when she first meets him? How is he different from her father?
Damien Hathaway and Lindsay’s father are opposites in both their personalities and outlooks. How do Damien’s humility and unassuming way begin to undermine her father’s more autocratic, know-it-all manner toward his daughter?
Damien has grown into a man who is concerned about the least in God’s kingdom. How does this sensitivity
attune him more than most to Lindsay’s situation regarding her father’s choice of a husband for her?
Damien was used to having his older sister defend him when he was younger. Why does his brother-in-law, Jonah Quinn, think it is good for Damien to have a woman who needs looking after?
Lindsay reveals very little of her fears and aversion to her fiancé until the very night her betrothal is to be announced. Sometimes when we are afraid of someone or something, we hide our true feelings until a dam bursts inside, and the resulting outburst is more harmful than if we had expressed our misgivings early on. What might have been the result if Lindsay had spoken to her father sooner?
The night Lindsay comes to Damien and declares he will marry her, he immediately backs up all her claims. Why is Damien so quick to accept and even welcome something that will ultimately ruin him?
When Lindsay first meets Damien, she gives him the impression of someone very young and naive. But when adversity strikes, she shows him she is made of sterner stuff. How does this draw them closer together and prove to Damien that she is the wife for him?
Why is Damien so determined to maintain his marriage to Lindsay as one in name only?
Is it a reasonable assumption on Damien’s part that Lindsay will want to return to her own world someday, and that her father will seek a reconciliation?
What are some of the problems Lindsay runs into trying to be Damien’s wife? Why doesn’t she confide in Damien?
Lindsay wants desperately to be part of Damien’s street ministry, but Damien is reluctant to expose her to the dangers. When they are mugged and his fears prove true, he undergoes a humiliating defeat at the hands of the gang. How does Lindsay view her husband through this ordeal?
Damien is forced to resign his curacy because of the scandal surrounding his marriage. How does Lindsay prove to be his greatest ally and motivator during this time of trial?
When Lindsay finds out the real reason Damien has been dismissed, she feels guilt that she has brought ruin on him. When she suffers a miscarriage, she feels she is being punished. How is this kind of guilt destructive and unwarranted?
In the midst of Lindsay’s guilt over bringing Damien to this state, he finally begins to accept their marriage and view their rented rooms as home. It is Lindsay who convinces him he is still a preacher even if he has been defrocked by his congregation. Why is it important that he come to this place of viewing himself as a man of God, and not of a denomination?
ISBN: 978-1-4268-3320-5
A BRIDE OF HONOR
Copyright © 2009 by Ruth Axtell
All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the editorial office, Steeple Hill Books, 233 Broadway, New York, NY 10279 U.S.A.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
This edition published by arrangement with Steeple Hill Books.
® and TM are trademarks of Steeple Hill Books, used under license. Trademarks indicated with ® are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office, the Canadian Trade Marks Office and in other countries.
www.SteepleHill.com
A Bride of Honor Page 30
