by Mike Faricy
“I’m all set to write it on the wall.”
“Huh?”
“Just kidding, Heidi go ahead.”
She gave me the address then asked, “How are things going on your case with Royal and his client?”
“It’s closed, not as neatly as I would have hoped, but I’m finished, signed off so to speak.” I didn’t feel the need to tell her about Tony getting slapped around, Ashley lying and really pissing me off, me quitting, and Royal more than likely disgusted with the whole bunch of us. We chatted briefly then she had to run.
I figured I would just deliver my invoice to Royal’s home so it would be waiting there for him this evening. I’d had more than one instance where my invoice had been conveniently lost in the office mail until I had to threaten taking the client to court.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Royal lived in a three-story red brick colonial with black trim, a glossy red front door and a view of the Mississippi River bluff just across the street. A constant parade of joggers, walkers and bicycle traffic drifted along the river bluff. I debated for a moment about just dropping my invoice through the mail slot in the door. Instead, I knocked using the brass lion’s head knocker just above the little plaque that read No Solicitors then waited.
The door opened about three inches a minute later. I could see the brass chain linked from the door frame to the back of the heavy door. A short woman, maybe just five feet one or two peered out at me with soft brown eyes.
“Yes.”
“Hello, my name is Dev Haskell. I have a letter I’d like to drop off for Royal Baker.” I said and extended my envelope toward her.
“What’s this about?”
“I’ve done some work for him, his company actually. It’s just my invoice.”
“Haskell? Are you that private investigator Royal told me about?”
“I guess so.”
She closed the door and I heard the lock slide off the hatch, the door opened again, this time wider. “Won’t you come in Mr. Haskell?”
“Please, call me Dev, and I don’t want to be a bother showing up like this unannounced.”
“No, it’s not a bother at all. In fact, I’m glad you stopped by. Please, please, come in. I’m Royal’s wife, Gemma” she said then opened the door wider so I could step inside.
The entry was about eight feet deep and had large black and white floor tiles that looked like marble. There was a leaded glass door with a leaded glass window on either side leading into the main part of the house. I followed Gemma into a large foyer with a white staircase running along one wall up to the second floor. What looked like a cozy living room with a fireplace was on one side of the foyer and a larger, more formal living room with an even larger fireplace was on the other side.
“I just put the kettle on for some tea, would you care to join me?”
I wasn’t the tea type, but smiled and said, “I’d love to.”
She was the same woman I’d seen in the photo on Royal’s desk, only much more attractive in person. She had a nicely toned figure, dark blonde hair styled and cut to just above her shoulders. She was dressed in an attractive pair of shorts with a matching blouse and sandals with woven leather straps. I followed her toward the rear of the house, past two large, ornately framed landscape paintings and into a large kitchen with lots of windows.
“Do you take milk or sugar?”
“Maybe a little sugar,” I said hoping it might kill the tea taste.
“I’ll let you doctor it,” she said and pushed a silver tray across the marble counter top. The tray held a small silver pitcher of milk and a small silver bowl full of sugar cubes with a set of tongs resting on top of the bowl. “Please, have a seat,” she said.
I settled onto a comfortable stool then grabbed the mug of tea she had placed in front of me. I dumped four sugar cubes into the mug hoping it would help.
“Care for some pastry?” she said and opened a white bakery box on the counter.
“No thanks,” I replied and then studied her from the back as she busied herself at the sink for a moment.
“So,” she said turning around to face me. “Royal mentioned you were doing some investigative work for him.”
“Yes, we spoke this morning and I told him I would be sending an invoice. I thought it might be better if I just dropped it off here. I was going to just leave it in the mail box,” I explained then took a sip of tea. It wasn’t all that bad.
“I understand things didn’t quite go as planned the other night.”
I didn’t mean to, but I must have given her a puzzled look.
“Royal received a call about five thirty this morning, that Ashley person. I suspect they may be rather close,” she said then paused for a moment and sipped, letting that last statement just sort of hang out there, maybe waiting for some sort of reaction from me before she continued.
“I think she phoned from Regions hospital. Something about an assault? Photographs? I could hear her voice as she screamed through the phone, but I couldn’t make out exactly what she was saying. All I know is Royal appeared rather upset once he got off the phone.” She sipped some more tea and seemed to smile to herself, apparently finding some comfort in the incident.
“Well, a bit of a misunderstanding, I’m afraid.”
“Did someone assault her?”
“No, it was actually him, I don’t know, her boyfriend or husband. I’m not really sure what their relationship is.”
“Too bad,” she said, making it sound like it was too bad Ashley hadn’t been the victim.
“Would it be alright if I left this with you, Gemma?” I said, and pushed my invoice across the counter toward her.
“I’ll be happy to see that Royal gets it and I’ll let him know we had a little chat. So, you’re off the case. It’s finished, you caught your man.”
“Not exactly. I’m off the case, more or less a mutual agreement. As far as finished or catching anyone, I’m afraid we didn’t. Part of it isn’t adding up, but for the life of me I just can’t seem to figure out what it is.”
“Do you do a lot of this sort of thing, Mr. Haskell, investigating?”
“Yes, I’m a private investigator.”
“So you’re experienced.”
“Somewhat, I’ve been doing this for a few years. It’s actually not the sort of crazy things you see on TV, usually it’s pretty boring.”
“Do you carry a gun?”
“On occasion.”
“Well then, I had better remain on my best behavior,” she said and smiled.
I got the sense it was time to leave. “It was very nice to meet you, sorry to interrupt your afternoon and thanks for the tea.”
“Thank you for drinking it, I gather it’s not your first choice.”
“It was very good.”
“Come on, I’ll show you out,” she said and headed back toward the front door. “Do feel free to stop again, Mr. Haskell,” she called as I was halfway down the front walk to my car, then she closed the door before I had a chance to turn and respond.
Chapter Thirty-Five
I didn’t hear from Royal or anyone else for that matter until late in the afternoon. “Haskell Investigations,”
“Dev, honey, it’s Lissa, just making sure we’re still on for tonight.”
“Yeah, seven, you sure I can’t pick you up or just meet you somewhere?”
“Afraid of my driving?”
“No, just trying to make it easy for you.”
“I’ll call you when I’m about a minute away. You can just run downstairs and hop in.”
We hung up and I wondered if it was just a throw-away phrase or did she know my office was on the second floor?
Lissa phoned me five minutes before seven. “I’m downstairs waiting,” she laughed and hung up. She was parked right in front of the door, sitting behind the wheel of a snappy red BMW convertible with the top down, looking sexy and gorgeous.
“Wow, nice set of wheels.”
“Just o
ne of the many little pleasures in life,” she said raising her eyebrows suggestively at “pleasures.” “Come on, hop in, baby, and let the fun begin.”
She had always been just a little on the wild side, but then again it had been a few years since I’d seen her. She was wearing a short skirt and a sheer top that left nothing to the imagination, even while she was just sitting behind the wheel. Her hair was shorter and a bit lighter than I remembered and wind blown from her drive over with the top down. She looked great as I slid into the seat and buckled up.
“So good to see you, Dev. You haven’t changed a bit, if anything you look even more delicious. It’s been way too long,” she said then leaned over and gave me a long kiss on the cheek. Some sort of wonderful perfume engulfed me and I inhaled deeply. She lingered just long enough to rub her hand up and down my inner thigh a few times then pulled back and seemed to take a deep breath. “Whew, you certainly haven’t lost any charm, Mister. Come on, let’s get started, I’ve been thinking about this for the past twenty-four hours and I can’t wait,” she said then pulled away from the curb.
We hadn’t driven more than a block when she leaned toward me and said, “Now listen, I’ve made reservations at the Levee, and I’m paying. I don’t want to hear any argument from you, it’s the very least I can do.”
The Levee was located along the Mississippi and was one of the more trendy places in town which was probably one of the reasons I’d never been there. The other reason was that it cost an arm and a leg.
“You know, Lissa, a cheeseburger and a beer would suit me just fine, you’re almost making me feel kind of guilty. I appreciate the thought, but I’m sure we’ll have a good time wherever we go.”
“You’re right on that count, we are going to have a fantastic time, memorable I think is the word I used, remember? And we’re going to start with drinks and dinner on the Levee. Now, not another word, you just sit back and enjoy the view,” she said and with that she casually reached down and hiked her skirt up exposing more than just her thigh. She turned toward me, ran her tongue slowly back and forth across her upper lip, and smiled seductively. My luck was definitely changing.
We pulled into valet parking and the two kids parking cars just stood there speechless and stared at her as she climbed out from behind the wheel. The one holding her door open followed her with his eyes as she strutted around the front of the car and into the restaurant. You could actually see his eyes move from left to right with every step she took.
The place was filled with all sorts of trendy people wearing a lot of very expensive casual clothes. My nineteen dollar jeans and the St. Paul Saint’s shirt might have been the cheapest outfit there, but then again I was with the hottest woman in the place and she was buying.
I saw two guys sitting at the bar looking like off-duty lawyers or bankers. They were wearing handmade woven Italian loafers and no socks. They stared at Lissa as she walked up to the hostess then they leaned in toward one another and began to conspire, probably trying to figure out how I rated. Either that or they were going to finish their drinks and then run out and buy a couple of St. Paul Saint’s shirts.
“Good evening, how are we doing tonight?” the hostess said. I pegged her at barely eighteen years old and probably the envy of all her friends because she was working here.
“Just fine, thank you. We have a reservation, Flaherty,” Lissa said.
The girl checked a computer screen for a moment, “Oh yes, you requested a table outside, didn’t you.”
“That’s us.”
“For three. If you’ll just follow me, we’re all ready for you.”
They were off in a flash and I had to catch up. Three? I wondered if Tommy was going to show up. God, I hoped not, things were off to a great start. The two swells without socks watched Lissa as she moved her delicious figure in that incredibly short skirt toward the rear door.
Our table overlooked the river on the outside deck about fifteen feet above the water. It was the perfect evening, not a cloud in the sky, warm, but not too hot with just the hint of a breeze. Way above us a bald eagle slowly circled, working its way downriver. He seemed to circle a few times directly over our table, probably checking Lissa out. A couple of boats worth about six figures motored past as two racing skulls rowed down river in time to the coxswain calling the pace.
I pulled the chair out for Lissa to sit then sat down at a ninety-degree angle to her with my back to door.
“Can I get you something from the bar?” a waitress asked. She was dressed all in black: slacks, shirt and a long apron.
“I think I’ll start with a virgin cosmopolitan,” Lissa said and then looked at me.
“What do you have on tap?”
“Oh, Dev, no beer tonight, don’t you like bourbon?”
“Well yeah, but I was thinking a beer….”
“Do you still have that sampler you used to do?” she asked the waitress.
“Yes, the Taste Treat? We do have that. You’re not driving, are you?” She only half joked.
“Dev, you’ve got to try it, six different bourbons, you taste them and it’s amazing how different they really are, come on, besides I’m driving, at least the car,” she said then shrugged and grinned.
“I suppose, yeah I could go for that.”
“Give him your six best bourbons,” Lissa said.
The waitress nodded then said “We’ll get those drinks over here to you in just a moment.”
“You’ll just love it, amazing how different they all are,” Lissa said.
“A virgin cosmopolitan?”
“I can still pretend, of course who’d know better than you?” she said and I felt her foot running up my shin as she smiled.
“Sounds nice.”
“You just wait, Mr. Haskell, I might have to be arrested, did you bring your handcuffs?” she said then sort of flared her eyes and glared.
I had to swallow to keep my composure. “Say, Lissa, the hostess said three, who’s going to be joining us?”
She sort of glanced anxiously toward the door. “Well, I hoped to get a drink or two in you before I mentioned it.”
“What? Your brother, Tommy?”
“No,” she said drawing the word out and sounding more than a little mysterious.
“Well who?”
“It’s my sister, Candi.”
Chapter Thirty-Six
“Candi? Your sister who told me to never, ever, call her again just a couple of weeks ago? The same sister that filed a restraining order against me and threatened to castrate me when we all sort of went our respective ways?”
“Well, Dev, you were dating the two of us at the same time and neither Candi nor I was aware of it. At least until that night you called my name out at a rather intimate moment with her, you idiot,” she said and laughed.
“But Candi?”
“Dev, we had a talk, Candi and I. She was really hurt at the time, but she’s moved on, we all have. Anyway, I happen to know she’s coming to sort of apologize and well, look I’ll just let her tell you the rest, but I have a feeling you might like what she has to say.”
“Do I have to check her for weapons?”
“She just might enjoy a thorough search by your hands. I know I would,” she said then ran her hand along my forearm.
“All right, and the cosmopolitan?” A server asked, it wasn’t the woman who took our order and Lissa raised her hand. “And I guess the bourbon taste treat would be for you, sir.”
“That’s right.” I said as she placed a wooden tray in front of me with six large shots of bourbon resting in little holders. The shots all looked like they were doubles.
“I told you you’d like it,” Lissa said and stroked my arm again, then she raised her cosmopolitan and said, “Here’s to a very memorable night.” She sipped, flashed her eyes at me over the rim of her glass and then smiled.
Between the bourbon, the stories, the stroking of my arm and the kisses she kept giving me, I sort of lost track of time. It wa
s dusk by the time Candi arrived. Lissa stood and hugged her then gave her a big kiss and whispered into her ear.
Candi sort of giggled then looked down at me and shrugged. She bent down and gave me a couple of very firm kisses on my cheek then ran her tongue over my ear.
Lissa just smiled then reached under the table and stroked my leg.
“Can I get you something from the bar, Ma’am?” our waitress asked.
“I’ll have exactly what she’s having,” Candi said and pointed at Lissa’s almost empty glass.
“I better have another, too,” Lissa said. The waitress looked at me with a bit of a question. I still had two shots to go and like I’d said, they were doubles. “Sir?”
“Sure why not, we can help out if it’s too much.” Lissa said
I was feeling no pain and by the time I was thinking it might not be the brightest idea a fresh tray with six more shots had been placed in front of me.
The two of them seemed to be toasting something about every thirty seconds. The weather, the river, old friends, new adventures, memorable nights. We’d all raise our glasses, the sisters would take a sip and seemed to smile at one another. By this point I was pretty much downing the entire double shot. I was vaguely aware I was having trouble pronouncing the occasional word. A while later I was aware I was having trouble thinking about which word to use. The next thing I knew the two of them had me linked arm in arm and they were pouring me into the back seat of Lissa’s convertible.
We were all laughing and Candi slapped me hard across my rear, then gave me a solid push into the back seat. I remember thinking if I could just close my eyes for a moment I would probably be okay.
“Come on, let’s go party,” one of them screamed, they both laughed as the car drove off and I more or less passed out.
I’d no idea how long I’d been asleep, it could have been five minutes or five hours. One of them was tickling me, pulling me up into a sitting position. I was vaguely aware of my shirt being unbuttoned, then I was pushed forward as someone pulled it off. I remember thinking, ‘isn’t this nice, they’re putting me to bed.’ But I was still sitting in the chair. Only it wasn’t a chair, it was the back seat of Lissa’s convertible and I was suddenly lying on my back with my feet up in the air as my jeans were yanked off my legs an inch at a time.
