by Mike Faricy
In a distant corner, the darkest corner in the place, Tommy Allesi sat at a round oak table watching us and sipping a cup of coffee behind a smoldering cigarette. Other than the bartender he was the only guy in the place and I had the feeling he would have been content to just sit and examine us for quite some time.
Chapter Nineteen
I tugged on Morton’s leash and we headed toward the back of the room, winding our way through a maze of tables and chairs toward the corner where Tommy continued to stare at us through a plume of cigarette smoke. It looked like he was wearing a white golf shirt underneath his black V-neck sweater. The sweater was embroidered with a Lady Slipper flower, the words “Lady Slipper Country Club” were centered beneath the flower.
I noticed a flat screen TV was mounted up high on the wall just a few feet from where he sat, a horse race was playing but the sound on the TV was turned off. Tommy seemed to be listening to the classical music. He glanced at the flat screen once or twice, but otherwise remained focused on Morton and me as we wove our way toward the back of the room. There was a plastic sign screwed into the oak tabletop, white with black letters that read, “PRIVATE RESERVED”.
Tommy took a long drag off his cigarette then blew a cloud of smoke up toward the flat screen. “No dogs allowed,” he said with a deadpan expression once we finally made it to his table. He took another long drag from his cigarette, blew a cloud of smoke up toward the ceiling then set the cigarette back in the ashtray. Morton’s tail began wagging and bouncing off a couple of the wooden chairs around us.
“It also said “No Smoking” on the doors into this place.”
“Humpf,” Tommy grunted. “You seem to be developing a knack for getting in my way.”
“Believe me, it’s not intentional, it just sort of worked out that way. Someone calling for help or an idiot coming at me with a baseball bat, it’s not like I have a lot of options.”
“Well, I hope you’ll forgive my behavior the other night, I might have been a little anxious.”
“On the porch at Natasha’s? I guess it worked out okay. Have to tell you I wasn’t all that wild about the two guys I met last night”
“Those the two who stole my car? I really wouldn’t know anything about that, Haskell. Could be you just seem to have that kind of effect on people. You did bring it back, didn’t you, my car? I mean that’s why you’re interrupting my afternoon’s work, right?”
“Yeah, the car’s out in the lot, right by the front door,” I said and placed the keys for the Mercedes on the table.
“Please tell me you didn’t put him in my car,” he said and nodded at Morton.
“As a matter of fact, I did. Actually, he wanted to drive, but I didn’t think that would be such a good idea.”
Tommy didn’t smile.
“Once I found out who the car belonged to I just wanted to get it back to you, the Mercedes. Small world isn’t it? I run into you the night before and then some dumb shit steals your car and I sort of find it.”
“Yeah, amazing. You said you don’t golf?”
“Not really. I’m a good nineteenth hole guy, I’ll always buy the first round, but I’ve never really had a lot of patience for the game itself.”
“Too bad, I would have enjoyed taking your money.”
“One of the many reasons I don’t play, I don’t like to lose.”
“Sound advice. You know, Haskell, occasionally you can find yourself in a no win situation and it just might be advisable to fold your cards and simply move on. Don’t you think?”
“Like you said, occasionally.”
“I don’t like to lose, either. So you know, hypothetically here, when someone agrees to do something for me and then pulls out at the last minute that tends to screw things up. I’m not a very happy camper when that sort of thing happens. In fact, it makes me mad, real mad, ruins my day,” he said then glanced up at the flat screen as a set of racing odds flashed across the screen.
“Hmmm-mmm, better than I thought,” he half said to himself. “Maybe you’re bringing me good luck, Haskell. Can you do that? Bring good luck.”
“Not that I’m aware of.”
“Probably right, I appreciate you returning the car all the same.”
“Yeah, shame about the two guys who stole it from you.”
“I wouldn’t know anything about that,” he said then took a final drag and stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray. “Funny thing, there always seems to be someone who thinks he’s cute and doesn’t take me seriously and then things have a habit of not turning out so well for that individual. I guess there are just bound to be folks who don’t listen to reason.”
“You mean like Natasha?”
“Maybe, among others.”
That sounded like my traveling music. “If there’s nothing else, I guess we’ll be on our way.”
Tommy nodded and said, “I think that would be a good idea. If you’ll excuse me I have to make a business call, safe trip home.”
“Nice to see you again,” I said then turned and headed toward the door.
As we made our way out of the bar I could hear Tommy on his cellphone giving betting instructions to whoever was on the other end.
I found Luscious near the rest room door leaning against the candy machine. I noticed a crumpled-up potato chip bag in his hand. He was currently in the process of devouring a large chocolate bar. He raised his eyebrows as I approached.
“Don’t talk with your mouth full. Come on, let’s get out of here,” I said. We went out the front doors toward the parking lot. Morton stopped and sniffed the air then proceeded to lift his leg on the potted shrub just outside the front door, this time I didn’t try and stop him.
I opened the back door to my car and Morton hopped in just as a black car roared across the lot, zipped in next to us and screeched to a stop. I closed the car door then looked over the roof of my car and stared at the jerk who had just pulled in. There were now four cars in the entire parking lot. This car, a flat black Chevy Camaro, was centered on the yellow line, so it actually took up two spaces.
The car rocked from side to side as a large figure climbed out from behind the wheel. “I suppose you think you’re pretty damned cute,” a voice roared. He was fat, unshaven with thinning ginger colored hair and pork chop side burns. This afternoon he wore an olive drab T-shirt that hung out over his large beer belly. He had accessorized his wardrobe with a large, gauze bandage across his forehead. Both eyes were black, and there was a gash across the bridge of his swollen nose making his already ugly face even less attractive. Fat Bastard.
“If you’re looking for your baseball bat, I already gave it to some school kids who’ll take better care of it.”
Luscious casually strolled around the front of my car munching the last of his chocolate bar as he approached. I walked around the back of my car to come at Fat Bastard from a different angle.
He looked Luscious up and down, and appraised the situation. “I’ll see you around, Haskell,” he said then turned, and quickly waddled up the front steps and into the clubhouse. He glanced over his shoulder a couple of times to make sure we weren’t coming after him.
“Want me to go get him, Dev?” Luscious said then tossed the final third of the chocolate bar into his mouth.
“No, thanks, Luscious. Let’s just get out of this high class environment and back to what we know.”
Luscious groaned into the passenger seat and I climbed behind the wheel then backed out of the parking space. With Luscious in the passenger seat the car leaned hard to the right. I had to drive away with the steering wheel cranked over to the left to guide my car more or less down the lane.
Chapter Twenty
“So was he serious, those two guys really stole his car?” Louie asked.
It was just the three of us sitting at the bar in The Spot, Me, Louie, and Morton. I was feeding Morton from a bag of pork rinds, giving him one at a time.
“I’d say he was serious about everything except those tw
o idiots. Like I said, the one guy pulled up just as we were leaving. I don’t know where they ended up last night, not like I was going to wait around to find out. That’s kind of beside the point. It was pretty obvious he was telling me to stay the hell away from Natasha and Princess Anastasia.”
At the mention of her name Morton sort of wiggled around on his stool and drooled on the bar.
Mike the bartender came over, “You want a beer or something for him, I don’t know, water maybe?”
It’s a pretty rare occasion when someone just orders water at The Spot, even if it is for a dog sitting at the bar. “Yeah, if you could give him some water that would be great, Mike.”
“You still going to take that job?” Louie asked.
“I called her this morning and left a message telling her I would take it. I called her again after I dropped Luscious off and left another message. Yeah, I plan on taking the job, if I can reach her or she ever decides to call me back.”
Mike came back with a chili bowl full of water and placed it in front of Morton. Morton looked at my beer then gave me a sideways glance as if to suggest water wasn’t going to cut it.
“Do you believe it? Look at him, the guy wants a beer. No Morton, you’re on water rations for the time being,” I said.
“That might be okay for him, but I’ll have another,” Louie said sliding his empty glass across the bar. “You up for one more?”
“Yeah, sounds good,” I said just as my phone rang.
“Hello.”
“Hi, Dev how’s it going?”
“Great Maddie, had a nice appointment with Morton’s therapist.” I shot a look at Louie. “She said she’d never seen Morton so relaxed. We’re just about to head out on our walk.”
“Let me talk to him.”
“Okay, hang on,” I said then placed the phone up near Morton’s ear. His tail began wagging as he listened. She was speaking loud enough that we could hear her using her Morton voice. Louie and Mike looked at one another and then just stared at me. Mike eventually shook his head, walked away and poured our beers.
I got back on the phone after a minute, Maddie was still talking nonsense, “Morton, Morton, Morton, are you being a good boy, Morton? It’s mommy, Morton.”
“So how’s your mom doing?”
“Oh, you. We’re making progress,” she said returning to something close to normal sounding. “Her physical therapist is pleased, but it’s just going to be a long, slow recovery. Fortunately, it’s given me a chance to reconnect with some folks I haven’t seen since high school. I was with a couple of them last night and a bunch of us are going to get together tonight. I’m really looking forward to that.”
“Sounds like it could be fun.” I was curious if it was just going to be girlfriends, but couldn’t bring myself to ask the question.
“Yeah, it will be nice to get a break from the home front. Much as I love my folks a couple of hours off would be alright with me.”
“Well, not to worry, everything’s fine up here, like I said we’re just about to head out on our walk.” Mike returned and slid a fresh beer in front of me. He pointed to another bag of pork rinds and I nodded. Morton’s tail started wagging furiously as Mike pulled the bag from the rack behind the bar.
“Good, thanks again for doing this Dev,” she said, then hung up. I noticed she didn’t add, “I’ll make it up to you.”
“Don’t say a thing,” I said to Mike and Louie as I put my phone away.
Mike just shook his head then looked at Morton. “After hearing that gibberish nonsense on the phone the poor guy could probably use a beer.”
We stayed for a couple more, by the time we left it was dark outside. I drove past Natasha’s, but the lights were all off and the place looked deserted so we continued home.
Chapter Twenty-One
I was asleep on the couch when the phone call woke me. Morton had crashed on the floor next to the couch. We’d been watching some B-grade movie on Netflix and based on the screen it looked to have been over for quite some time.
“Haskell Investigations,” I said and then had to clear my throat.
“Natasha, returning your earlier call, Mr. Haskins.” Her voice sounded heavy and the words were slurred.
I glanced at the digital read on my flat screen, it was 2:27AM. Morton stirred on the floor, sort of rolled his shoulders then gave a deep sigh before he settled in and went back to sleep.
“Oh, yeah, thanks for calling. I’d like to accept your job offer.”
“For the entire week?”
“I think that’s the length of time you mentioned.”
“Splendid, I’ll have the paperwork drawn up. Perhaps you might be interested in maybe coming over now to review things?”
“Actually, it’s getting sort of late for me so I probably shouldn’t. How about tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow?” She waited for a long pause. “Very well, don’t make it too early, shall we say about tenish?”
“That would be fine. I’ll be at your door tomorrow, at ten.”
“Actually, I’ve a better idea. You can meet us out at the polo grounds. Do you know where they are?”
“You mean at Fort Snelling?”
“Precisely. Sure you wouldn’t be interested in swinging by this evening?”
“I wish I could, but it’s awfully late for me.”
There was another long pause before she said, “See you tomorrow morning. What time did we say, again?”
“Ten, tenish to be precise.”
“See that you are, precise that is. I’ve not a moment to spare what with Blessington on the horizon,” she said and then hung up.
I shook my head thinking “What a piece of work,” then got up off the couch, turned off the lights, left Morton asleep on the floor and went up to bed. I woke a little after eight that morning. My body felt knotted and I was all the way over on the edge of the bed almost hanging off the side. Morton was lying on his side with his back up against mine and his four legs stretched out across the bed. His head rested on the spare pillow and he sounded like he was lightly snoring.
I rolled off the bed and headed toward the shower. Morton was still asleep when I returned to the bedroom. I slammed a couple of drawers getting dressed, but it didn’t seem to faze him. I went downstairs for coffee and some breakfast. I was on my second cup when he finally made an appearance.
“Oh, sorry was I making too much noise and woke you?”
He found a warm sunny spot on the kitchen floor where the sun was shining through a window and made a long throaty sound as he stretched.
“Yeah, I know, I’m sure you’re absolutely exhausted after having to take all that space in the bed. Let me finish this coffee and we’ll go for a walk.”
At the mention of a walk his tail started wagging and he took up a position at the back door. I filled my travel mug and we headed out the door. We did a quick three blocks and were just walking back up the driveway about to have breakfast when my phone rang.
“Haskell Investigations.”
“Oh hi, Dev, let me speak to Morton,” Maddie said. She never asked, ‘Can you talk?’, or ‘How are things?’, or ‘Am I interrupting?’ I had the distinct impression I was becoming expendable.
“Yeah, hang on a second.” I placed the phone up to Morton’s ear as she started in with her Morton voice.
After her normal enthusiastic greeting and what passed as baby talk she launched into a description of her evening. It was like some sort of psychological misstep where she was bursting at the seams and had to unload to someone and after all, who could keep a secret better than Morton? Only I was holding the phone and the sound of her dopey, childish, insane, grating, ridiculous, obnoxious, stupid voice carried.
“So we all got together, it was just one big giant class reunion. And guess who was there, Morton? Buster.”
I could only hope Buster was someone’s dog.
“Remember? We used to date in high school, but broke up when we went to different colle
ges. Oh, he’s still so hot.”
At this point I put the phone up to my ear. Morton gave me a look that suggested, “Thank you.”
“We were all doing shots and laughing and talking and well one thing led to another. Buster has a beautiful house with a great big yard that you would just love. He’s a very important partner in his law firm and we were up all night … umm, talking and then sort of catching up.”
She paused after that last oops just long enough for me to get a word in. “We better ring off, here Maddie. We’re in the middle of our walk and I want to keep going. How’s your mom doing?”
“Oh, umm, Dev. She’s improving, but it looks like I might have to extend for a couple of days, if you don’t mind.”
“I guess that would be okay, I suppose.” I waited for her to say something like, “I’ll really make it up to you.” But, apparently she was still in the recovery mode after spending the night catching up with that important lawyer, Buster.
“Okay, thanks,” she said and just hung up.
Morton gave me an all knowing look.
“I know, I know, I should have seen it coming. Come on, let’s go have breakfast. We gotta be out of here in an hour.”
I made a double batch of French toast and left Morton’s healthy breakfast food in the bag in the pantry just to pay Maddie back. We inhaled our breakfast, Morton had three pieces and I had two, then we set out for the polo grounds.
Chapter Twenty-Two
The polo grounds are located on the old military base of Fort Snelling. The original fort was the first white settlement in what was described as wilderness in 1823. From a small beginning the area expanded over the decades to the now vacant old cavalry barracks and a half dozen Victorian homes. I guessed the polo field had originally served as a parade ground, but I couldn’t be sure.
I was sure of one thing, there was no one on the polo grounds. Anywhere. It’s not like you had to search all that hard. The grass field was flat, lined with trees that were just beginning to bud. There was virtually nowhere to hide. I figured Natasha would be out here putting Princess Anastasia through her paces getting ready for the Blessington show. But if they were out here I sure couldn’t see them.
