by Aimée Thurlo
“You come to me so that the spirits will guide you, yet you don’t listen to the answers. I have spoken as clearly as I can.” He shook his head slowly. “Like many outsiders, you come to me wanting a road map to the lost item. Now I’m telling you plainly. You already have what you need.”
“Where?” Travis pressed.
“That is up to her to tell you,” he said, gesturing to Fox. Yazzie then shifted his gaze to her. “You will find the list when your heart is ready to accept the burden it’ll place on you. When that time comes, you’ll understand that what is yours always comes to you and everything I’ve told you will make perfect sense.”
“Why can’t you tell us what you know more clearly, uncle?” Fox asked softly.
“Because there are lessons you each must learn first. But believe me when I tell you that you will find what you’re searching for. It waits for you to find it. It’s in no danger.”
“You wouldn’t play these games if you really did know something,” Travis said, anger tainting his words.
The stargazer’s expression was full of compassion—not surprise or annoyance. “You are the one who has the most to learn and those lessons will be hard for you to bear. You think you’re protecting her, but she’ll be the one who will show you what true courage is about. You trust your training and physical strength, but you have yet to learn that real strength comes from harmony and walking in beauty.”
Hosteen Yazzie paused, staring into the glowing embers of the fire, then continued. “Try to recall what it was like for you when you were a child living at Rock Ridge. You welcomed our traditions then. You were said to be like Wind and you liked the comparison because it defined you. Now you think that’s where all your restlessness comes from. But you’re wrong. You have to understand your heritage and learn to value it before your heart will ever find peace. Harmony comes only to those who strive for it.”
Travis rose. “Thank you for your help, uncle.” He unfastened the jish, the medicine pouch, that he’d carried at his belt. “I’ve brought no gift as payment, but maybe you’ll accept this.”
The old man took it from him. “You part with something you don’t understand,” he said. “Power comes in many guises, and some kinds should never be shared.” He handed the pouch back to him. “Keep it with you. I ask for no payment.”
Travis led Fox back outside. “I should have known this was a waste of time,” he said, as they reached the truck.
Fox shook her head. “You’re wrong. This may sound crazy, but I honestly think he knew precisely where that list is. We’ll just have to puzzle his clues out.”
“We needed answers, not guessing games. I’m sorry I suggested coming here.”
“Don’t you see what’s happening to you?” There was no anger in her voice as she spoke. “You’re just upset because, for the first time in your life, you tried to depend on the old ways and you think they’ve let you down. But you were using the old ways as a tool, and tradition and culture are much more than that. I’m not Navajo, but I do know that the Navajo ways are not like a light switch you can flick on and off at will.”
“Something either works, or it doesn’t.”
“Yes, but to use something of this nature you have to understand its limitations as well as its advantages. That takes dedication and study.” Fox paused, and in a soft, sad voice, added, “Like with anything worthwhile, it exacts a price. It requires giving it your heart.”
Travis gave her a long, pensive look. “All or nothing,” he whispered, his gaze drifting over her in a silent caress. “My life seems to demand that at every turn these days.”
“Sooner or later we all have to decide how much we’re willing to risk to get what we want.”
Wordlessly, he started the engine.
As they headed north, she wondered what thoughts lay behind his hooded eyes.
TRAVIS DROVE DOWN THE empty highway, not really knowing where they’d end up. The old man had thrown him a curveball. Like Fox, he’d had the clear impression that the stargazer had known something he hadn’t wanted to share with them.
As he looked off into the distance, Travis saw a familiar sight, the stark formation of Rock Ridge. He and his brother had lived in a small house there. Their parents had been poor, but his brother and he had always had clean clothes on their backs and food in their stomachs. Love had abounded in their family, despite the hardships.
As he looked at the desert that stretched out before them, he felt a kinship with the land. In all the years he’d stayed away, he’d never felt the sense of belonging, or rightness, that he felt now, traveling across the Rez with Fox beside him.
He turned his head and glanced at her. Though she’d never admit it, he knew she was bone weary. With only a few hours’ sleep last night, interrupted by their encounter with McNeely, they’d both expended their energy reserves. They needed to hole up and get some rest. Daylight had come only a few hours ago, and already it felt like dusk.
As she closed her eyes, he tried to brush aside the rush of tenderness that filled him. He’d grown used to having her depend on him, but he relied on her, as well. Protecting her had given him purpose and, through it, he’d found a side of himself he’d never known existed. And maybe it hadn’t—not until she’d come back into his life.
As she shifted, trying to get comfortable, the top button of her shirt came open. He saw the creamy white breast that lay just below the folds. Fox looked so soft and vulnerable right now, his head sizzled with wild, erotic thoughts.
Travis almost groaned when she shifted again and reached out, resting her hand on his leg. It was as if his entire body had suddenly caught fire.
He didn’t realize until she drew her hand back that he hadn’t been breathing. He sucked in a long, ragged breath.
“Where are we going?” she asked, opening her eyes.
“Someplace where we can safely get some rest. I’m not sure exactly where.”
Fox leaned back into the seat and stared ahead, her eyes nearly shut. “Tell me honestly, when this is over and you go back to your unit,” she whispered sleepily, “will you think of me from time to time?”
Her question left him stunned. How could she not know the way he felt? He looked at her, wondering if she was teasing, but then realized she was not. He’d guarded his feelings far better than he’d ever realized.
“You are always part of my thoughts,” he answered.
“And, someday, do you think you’ll come home to stay?”
“I don’t know,” he replied. A month ago he would have said no, but many things had changed since that time.
Travis kept his eyes on the road as her breathing deepened and she drifted off to sleep. The old man had been right. He needed to find himself, not as a fighter and a soldier, but as a man. He’d been fighting all his life. Now he was fighting his feelings for Fox. He cared deeply for her, but life had taught him that love was unreliable and it was hard to trust in that emotion now. Whenever he’d loved, and trusted in love, life had found a way to bring him to his knees.
Yet, even as the thought formed, he knew that it was already too late for misgivings. There was no turning back. Somewhere along the way he’d crossed the line and given her his heart. Her gentleness and her fighting spirit had combined forces and penetrated every emotional barrier he’d ever placed around himself.
Travis gazed at Ship Rock, now only a few miles to his left, as he drove toward the town of the same name. Some said that the rock formation was a guardian, a warrior frozen in stone, and an advocate of any man who went to war. Silently, he asked for help now. Though he was a warrior, far gentler emotions had won him over.
He was in love with Fox. He knew that with every fiber of his being. But the thought of settling down was totally foreign to everything he’d ever valued. He thrived as a Ranger, facing danger wherever he went.
Of course, life with Fox would be anything but tame. Excitement rippled through him as he remembered all the times their wills had clashed. L
ife was never simple, and when a man added a woman like Fox to the equation, there was no telling what would happen.
He smiled slowly. And that was one of the many reasons he’d fallen in love with her.
Chapter Eighteen
Later that day, they set up camp several miles southeast of the town of Shiprock, beyond the Hogback oil field.
Fox looked around her, studying the area Travis had selected. The Hogback—a tall, tilted ridge of sandstone that ran in a northeast-southwest direction for many miles—was at their backs. To the west, the mesas and canyons of the Colorado Plateau rose slowly toward the purple mountains that formed the Carrizo and Chuska ranges. Beautiful Mountain, highest of all the peaks, shimmered like a mirage nearly nine thousand feet above sea level.
Except for the tall poles of the power line to the south, the country seemed so uninhabited and open that she wasn’t in the least bit worried about anything or anyone sneaking up on them.
Her gaze drifted over to Travis, who was trying to set up a canvas awning beside their vehicle that would give them some shade. It was part of the camping gear his friend had provided in his Weekend Getaway Special. She watched Travis use his knife to sharpen a wooden stake that would hold the awning secure by its guy ropes.
“Can I help?”
He shook his head. “I’ve got it.” With a flick of his wrist, he tossed the knife down into the ground, the point embedded in the soft earth.
He was all male power and vitality, but she still liked being able to worry about him. She was sure he thought of himself as indestructible, but the inescapable fact was, they’d needed each other to stay alive.
“I want to learn how to fight,” she said at last.
“Excuse me?” He was setting out their sleeping bags on a ground cloth when he stopped abruptly. “I must have heard you wrong.”
“No, you heard me correctly. Remember when you were going hand to hand with that man back in Santa Fe? I tried to help you by throwing a piece of firewood at his head. He ducked and I missed but, fortunately, you were still able to take advantage of the distraction. But think about it. We would have been in a real pickle if there hadn’t been a stack of firewood there. And, what if I’d hit you, instead? That’s why I’ve decided to learn to fight. That way, I can take care of myself—and you—if I have to.”
He burst out laughing. “You know, just when I think you’re actually capable of being reasonable, you say something crazy like that.”
“I am being reasonable. It’s perfectly logical that I want to learn to defend myself and you, if needed.”
“I don’t need a woman to take care of me.”
“Of course you do. If I hadn’t diverted that guy’s attention for you, he might have cut you badly with that knife.”
“You didn’t have to worry. I know how to disarm an opponent. I was looking for an opening when you threw that wood.”
“But what if, next time, there’s more than one guy? What will you do, then?” She glanced at the handgun he’d placed next to his bedroll. “I won’t use that thing. I could point it at someone, but I doubt I’d ever really be able to shoot. So, chances are they’d take it from me. I’m aware of my limitations, you see, so I know I have to tackle this from a different angle. That’s why you have to teach me to fight.”
He rolled his eyes. “I can’t do that in one afternoon, or even one evening. And if you try to take any of these guys on, they’ll hurt you—badly. They’re professionals with years of training. You haven’t got a chance.”
“All I want to learn is how to get loose if someone grabs me, and how not to be a victim. Come on. You owe me that much, don’t you think?”
“I owe you?”
“Well, you owe us. We have to stand together.”
“I’ve protected you this far. What makes you think I can’t keep doing that?”
“You can’t guarantee the future. How can you be one hundred percent certain that you won’t need my help at any given time?” Fox smiled slowly. “A long time ago, Dad told me that one of the basic tenets of the Navajo Way is the belief that whatever happened once, may happen again. Do you remember learning that?” She didn’t wait for a reply, knowing full well that he did. “Don’t you want me to be able to get away if there’s a problem and you’ve got your hands full?”
He considered it, then shook his head. “No. I’m not teaching you any fighting moves. My gut instinct tells me you’ll only get yourself into more trouble.”
“Okay. Then I guess I’ll have to teach myself to use the pistol,” she said, moving toward it, hoping her bluff would work. “I’m almost certain I can remember everything Ashe taught me about handguns once. It was a long time ago but, heck, it can’t be that hard.”
“Don’t touch it,” he growled. “You’ll shoot yourself, and maybe me, too.”
She smiled slowly. “So you’ll teach me how to fight, then?”
He groaned, suspecting he’d been had. “You’re not going to give me any peace until I do, are you?”
“Nope.”
He stepped toward her and stopped, inches away. “What if I get too rough? Can you handle it?”
She knew he was trying to intimidate her by looming over her like that, but it wouldn’t work. “Of course. Now let’s get down to business. Teach me anything at all you think will be helpful. I mean, I doubt I can land a good, solid punch against anyone—unless, of course, they were very cooperative and stayed perfectly still.”
“Unlikely.” Travis gave her a long, hard look. “The problem with fighting is that even if you win, you’ve got to be prepared to take a few hard knocks.”
“It’s better to go down fighting than to just be a victim. You, of all people, should understand that,” she said.
She saw surprise, then realization flash across his features. Everything she knew about Travis told her that her words had gotten through to him and that he finally understood.
“The first thing you have to recognize and remember,” he began, “is that there are a few key places in the human body that are very vulnerable. Those are areas you need to concentrate on striking, never holding back. With a man, one of the most vulnerable, accessible places is the groin. Second to that, there are the backs of the knees, the neck—specifically the windpipe—the eyes, and the bridge of the nose.”
“So I should aim for those?”
He glowered at her. “Let me finish.”
She made a rolling motion with her hand. “Cut to the chase. I’m a quick study.”
Travis shook his head, then moved away. She thought he was going to walk right past her, but he suddenly stopped and pulled her roughly toward him. Her back was pinned to his chest. His arms were locked around her rib cage and over her arms. She could scarcely move.
“Hey, that’s not fair. I can’t free my arms now. There’s no way I can fight back in this position.”
“Not true. You still have some options. Let’s start with the first thing you can try. In slow motion, okay?”
Fox nodded, suddenly not trusting her voice. Her pulse was racing. His body felt hard and incredibly masculine as it pressed intimately into hers. Even as the thought was forming in her mind, she felt his unmistakable response to the contact between them. He wanted her as badly as she did him, but his voice never betrayed him.
“First, bring your foot down hard on your opponent’s instep. Use your heel. That’s a painful move that will cause him to loosen his hold slightly. Then immediately elbow him as hard as you can in the stomach. When he bends over in response, bring your fist up and back and hit him right in the nose. Got all that?”
“Sure. Let’s try it.” She followed his instructions to the letter, pulling her punches. “Are you sure this works?”
“It’ll work, particularly because they won’t be expecting that from you. You might also remember that the inside of anyone’s thigh is also very sensitive. Even if you’re pinned, if you can reach back with your hand and pinch hard, he’ll let go.”
&
nbsp; “That sounds so simple. Will it work even against someone with your training?”
“Yes, particularly if they try to pin you like I just did.”
“Let’s give it a try,” Fox said. She pressed her back against his chest once more and waited for him to renew his hold.
“No more,” he said, not reaching for her. “We’ve both had enough for now.”
She could feel his manhood pulsing against her buttocks. A shiver of excitement darted through her. “Control and discipline,” she murmured. “Do I threaten those in you, Travis?”
Her words were a clear challenge and she knew he’d never back down now.
“One more time, and that’s it.”
As his arms tightened around her, she reached back, found the inside of his thigh, and squeezed. “There?”
His voice was low. “Yeah, but move your hand away now, or you’ll find more than you bargained for.”
She obeyed him reluctantly, but remained where she was. His breath, so hot against her neck, made her tremble. A sweet fire raged through her, but she refused to give in to it. She would not surrender to a man who wasn’t willing to do the same for her.
Still, that melting heat persisted, growing stronger and more urgent with each passing second. Knowing she had to counter those feelings quickly, she decided to do the one thing he wasn’t expecting. Remembering what he’d said, she stepped away, then did a sweeping kick, aiming for the backs of his knees.
Travis’s legs buckled and he went sprawling onto the ground.
She gasped, suddenly contrite. “You’re not really hurt, are you?”
He didn’t answer her. Instead, he closed his eyes and stayed very still.
She instantly dropped to her knees next to him. “Travis, say something! I didn’t mean to hurt you!”
In one fluid move, he pulled her against him, rolled over, and pinned her beneath him. His dark eyes smoldered as he grinned slowly. “Never trust your opponent in a fight. Cheating is often the fastest way to win.”
Her senses stung with awareness. Travis’s heartbeat shattered against her own. In his eyes, she saw pure male triumph. He shifted over her and spread her thighs, settling between them.
