Drew reached across the table and took her hand. “I thought maybe it meant you cared.”
Annie swallowed hard when a bite of garlic bread refused to go down. “I care, okay? Don’t make a big deal out of it.”
“Me want.” Micah stretched to reach his spoon.
She distracted him with a piece of garlic bread, hoping he’d forget about the spoon.
“I guess I’ll have to be content with that. For now.”
Pulling her hand away on the pretext of drinking from her glass, she wished her emotions weren’t so muddled.
Tilting his head, Drew said, “I still want to give back, but in a different way. It feels like I’ve turned my back on my friends overseas. It seems like I should be doing more.”
Annie’s heart started beating double time. Surely he couldn’t be thinking of going back? If police work wasn’t fulfilling, then being cannon fodder wouldn’t be so great in the grand scheme of things, either.
Something stopped her from asking him. Maybe she was afraid of what he would tell her. She chose her next words carefully. “I imagine there’s a certain amount of…adjustment for everyone once they return.”
“Absolutely.”
“You’ll settle in.” Settle down was what she meant.
“Maybe.” He didn’t look convinced, though. “I keep thinking there’s more that could be done to prepare the guys before they ship back.”
“I imagine…it’s important.”
“It was a pet project of Orion’s. He wanted to see more chaplains in the field, so they could counsel the soldiers more before they got back. As it is, it’s about all they can do to put out fires over there. The divorce rate is high and the strain on a family is phenomenal.”
“I don’t know how they manage. I’d be a nervous wreck.” Annie leaned over to wipe Micah’s face with her napkin.
“No!” Micah shook his head, trying to evade her. Some days he was so contrary it seemed as if he was already well into his terrible twos.
“How do spouses deal with the constant worry, never knowing if that call is going to come? It was hard enough when I barely knew you and saw your name on a list. I’m so glad you’re back safe and sound.”
“Yeah. Me, too.” But he couldn’t quite meet her gaze. “And maybe they believe in what their husbands or wives are fighting for. Or maybe they just hang on to faith. A soldier needs every bit of family support he can get. In essence, the spouse is in the service, too. The better-adjusted soldiers are usually the ones with a strong support system back home.”
Annie had the feeling he was trying to tell her something, that there was a subtext here she didn’t want to face. She resolutely ignored the alarm bells. “Did I tell you how well Brett did on his Algebra test? I was so pleased for him.”
Drew didn’t seem to mind that she’d changed the subject. As a matter of fact, he appeared relieved. While serving himself another helping of lasagna, he asked the appropriate questions about Brett.
After dinner, they both cleared the table and Annie loaded the dishwasher, while Micah generally got under foot.
“Hey, buddy, I’ve got a great movie for you to watch.”
Micah clapped his hands and hopped in place. “Indie.”
Laughing, Drew swung him up in the air. “Oops, I forgot. No going airborne on a full stomach. No, the movie is not Indiana Jones. You’ll like Veggie Tales, though. I’ve read that kids your age love it. Come on, let’s go plug it in.”
Annie smiled as the two trooped off to the great room. She wiped down the scarred table and the laminate counter, more content than she’d been for a long time.
She poured herself some wine, loving the way the zinfandel shimmered through the crystal glass—a Christmas gift from Kat one year. Then Annie refilled Drew’s water glass.
He returned a few minutes later and she gestured for him to sit at the table. “I gave you water. But if you’d prefer a glass of wine, I can get it.”
“No, water’s good.” He shifted, seemed almost reluctant to sit.
Uneasily, Annie sat first and he finally took the seat opposite.
Drawing a deep breath, she asked, “So is this about the time line?”
“Yes, I’d like us to tell Micah this weekend.”
Annie hesitated. “I’ve been putting it off because I just don’t know what to expect. I mean, how do we tell him so he’ll understand?”
“Probably as simply as possible. As he gets older, he’ll ask more questions. We’ll follow his lead and be as honest as possible.”
She smiled. “When did you get to be so smart about kids?”
He shook his head. “Lots of reading. And spending time with Micah. I’m starting to feel comfortable, like I know what makes him tick.”
“It shows. You’re really good with him. How about if we tell him on Saturday?”
“Perfect.” He drank almost half his glass of water. “There’s something else. I’d like Micah to spend the night at my apartment Saturday. Get used to the lay of the land. Maybe pick out some things for his bedroom. I sure am glad I opted for the two-bedroom floor plan. Who needs an indoor gym, right?”
Annie shifted in her seat. “He’s never spent the night away from me. Not even at my mother’s, and he adores her. I don’t think so.”
“Won’t you at least consider it? You’re going to have to let go eventually. If you show him you’re okay about the visit, it won’t be a problem.”
Annie swallowed hard. The panic was back, as if she were underwater, fighting for air. “I can’t. Not yet. Please understand?” She started to reach for him, but then let her hand drop.
“It’s hard to be patient when I’ve missed so much. The younger he is when he makes the transition, the easier it’ll be.”
“I’m trying to adjust, really I am. But this is new to me, too. I thought you were dead. Sharing custody never entered my mind. And now, you’re already asking me to hand off my son for a night.”
Drew ran his hand through his hair. “I know. And I appreciate it. If I give you more time, will you do something for me?”
“What?”
“I’ve been invited to a family barbecue Saturday afternoon. One of my buddies is home on leave, and Beth, Orion’s…widow, has invited me.”
“It’s important you reconnect with your buddies.”
“She invited you and Micah, too.”
“Why would she do that?”
“She knows I’ve been hanging out with you guys.”
“You didn’t tell her about Micah, did you?”
His guilty flush told Annie all she needed to know. How could he betray her like that?
“This is how you keep it under wraps? By telling your service buddies?” She stood, unable to contain her agitation.
“Shh. Only one person.” He pulled her arm. “Sit down. Please?”
Annie sank into her chair.
“Beth is special, like a mother to me. I needed to talk to someone right after I found out…and…well…I was confused and excited. Orion’s the one who would have helped me with something like this. She was a link to him.”
Annie thought about it for a moment. Would she have been able to keep such big news from Kat? The way he’d described Orion, the men had been almost family. Her pulse rate dropped and so did her anger. “He was special, too.”
“Yes. The best.”
“I guess I can understand. I’d probably do the same thing in your shoes.” Annie grinned guiltily. “I’d tell Kat right away and swear her to secrecy.”
“Beth won’t tell anyone. But I would like to be able to tell my buddies Saturday night. I promise I won’t, though, if you’re not sure.”
Annie hesitated. Her heart went out to Drew. He hadn’t asked for this strange situation any more than she had. He was a good guy doing the best he knew how.
“I’ll think about it, all right?”
“And will you and Micah come with me? Whether I’m able to claim him as my son or not.”
&nbs
p; “I don’t think that’s wise.”
He rubbed her forearm with his thumb. She’d forgotten he was still grasping her arm.
“Let me think about it for a minute, okay?”
“I’ll try not to rush you.”
She sipped her wine. The music from the movie drifted softly to her ears.
If she gave a little on this issue, maybe he would be more willing to compromise in the future.
And it would be the perfect way to keep an eye on him and make sure he didn’t tell any more than she was prepared to allow.
“We’ll go.”
“Thank you.” He hugged her quickly. “This will be so great. You won’t regret it, Annie.”
She stepped back. “I haven’t decided whether we should make it common knowledge that soon.”
“You guys will meet some of the most important people in my life. It’s still great. Thank you.”
Annie tried not to get caught up in his eagerness. She would do what seemed prudent for her son. Micah’s welfare came first and foremost.
Always.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
DREW WAS NERVOUS ON Saturday when he arrived at Annie’s door.
What if she’d changed her mind about telling Micah today?
He clenched his teeth. Then he’d just have to persuade her otherwise. This was too important and he’d been patient.
Shaking his head, he could almost hear Orion’s voice.
Easy does it, son.
Drew knocked and was able to appear reasonably calm when Annie answered.
She smiled and invited him in, but seemed on edge. She never stopped moving and her hands flitted as she talked. Even so, she was gorgeous. Her hair looked as if she’d used a curling iron or something on it to make it wavy.
“Micah’s in his room, waking from a nap. I listened on the monitor and heard him chattering to his stuffed animals. He’s been looking forward to seeing you. Looking forward to the barbecue, too, though he has no idea what it’s all about.”
Drew held her by the shoulders. “Hey, this is going to be okay. The two of us should be able to handle any questions one toddler can throw at us.”
She nodded. “Thank goodness he’s not old enough to ask details about the reproductive process.”
“Please tell me that’s at least fourteen years away?”
“Not hardly, buster. It’s recommended to start with simple explanations by the time they start school.”
“Then we’ve got a short reprieve.” He paced a few steps. “Should we get this out of the way?”
“I guess so. I’ll go get him.”
Annie returned about five minutes later with Micah perched on her hip. The boy’s cheeks were rosy and his hair tousled. When he saw Drew he stretched out his arms.
Emotion welled up in Drew’s throat, making it difficult to swallow. He loved this little guy like he’d never loved anyone before.
“Hey, buddy,” he said as he reached for his son. “Let’s go hang out on the couch. Your mom and I want to talk to you.”
“’Kay.”
Drew carried him over and sat down. Micah laid his head against Drew’s chest. Closing his eyes, Drew just wanted to revel in the moment.
He felt the couch cushion dip as Annie sat next to him. Still, he kept his eyes shut, breathing in the scent, enjoying the moment.
It wasn’t more than two minutes later when Micah began to squirm. Drew loosened his grip and the child climbed down.
Opening his eyes, Drew watched him pick up his favorite toy car.
Annie tucked her hand in Drew’s and squeezed. “Those moments aren’t as frequent these days. I savor every second because he’s turning into a big boy and soon my baby will be gone forever.”
The understanding in her pretty blue eyes was almost Drew’s undoing. This sensitive stuff was tough. “It’s hard to let go when I’ve just found him.”
“I know.”
“I’ve heard some pretty brave guys call for their mothers when they were injured.”
“You said that earlier. Let’s hope we never have to put that to the test with our son.”
“Our son,” he murmured. “That’s the first time I’ve noticed you calling him that.”
“Is it?”
“Absolutely.” The knowledge came from deep within, and filled him with wonder and pride. It was so all-encompassing, he felt as if his whole world had changed.
He rubbed his thumb over the back of Annie’s hand. “Thank you. For giving me a son and for being patient with me when I screwed up.”
She cleared her throat. “Micah is lucky to have a father like you.”
The connection between them was strong, solid. Until Micah crawled between them, wiggling his rear end to fit.
Annie smiled and moved to accommodate him.
Drew met Annie’s gaze over the top of Micah’s head, and wished they were like this all the time.
Annie cleared her throat. “Um, Micah, you know how most of your friends have a daddy and a mommy?”
He nodded, his expression solemn, as if he knew this was a momentous conversation.
“Well, you have a daddy and a mommy, too,” she continued. “I’m your mommy and Drew is your daddy.”
Micah’s eyes widened and he turned to gaze at Drew. “Daddy? My daddy?” he breathed.
“That’s right, buddy.” He waited for the boy’s reaction.
He didn’t have to wait long. Micah threw himself in Drew’s arms and held on tight. “Daddy.”
“Yes, I am. And I love you very much.”
Though Annie smiled, she seemed subdued.
He touched her shoulder. “Hey, are you okay?”
She nodded, her eyes bright.
“You sure?”
“It’s just that I never realized how much it meant to him. That at less than two years old he was feeling the void.”
Micah clambered into her lap from Drew’s, patting her cheek. “Daddy live here?”
“Oh, no, honey. It’s going to be like Chase’s family. Daddy will have his own apartment and he’ll visit you here and sometimes you’ll visit him there.”
Micah nodded, but Drew could tell he couldn’t wrap his mind around their situation. It was hard enough for an adult to figure out.
The boy settled close to Drew, apparently not needing any more explanation. Micah knew he could count on Drew and that was what was important.
“What time do we need to be at the barbecue?” Annie asked, her voice only slightly strained.
“I told Beth we’d be there about four o’clock.”
“I better get those brownies on a plate then.”
Annie stood and went to the kitchen.
An overwhelming sense of contentment stole over Drew as he listened to the ordinary noises in the kitchen and held his son on his lap.
This was a blessing he never could have imagined two years ago. It made him wonder what other phenomenal adventures were in store for them.
ANNIE BARELY LISTENEDAS Micah chattered in his car seat. She was too busy anticipating meeting Drew’s friends.
What would they be like? What would they think of Micah? Of her?
Then an awful thought struck her. “You didn’t give Beth the details of how we…met, did you?”
“Not the intimate details, no.”
“But she knows about the one-night—” she glanced over her shoulder and lowered her voice to a whisper “—stand?”
“I don’t remember exactly what I told her. I was still stunned to think I had a son.”
“So I didn’t matter?”
“Of course you mattered. Where is this going?”
Annie pushed up her glasses. “I’m nervous, okay? What if she doesn’t like me? What if she thinks I’m…a bad person?”
Drew laughed. “Oh, believe me, the only one she’ll think was bad is me.”
Annie rolled her eyes. “You’re getting way too much enjoyment out of this.”
“It’s kind of a nice change of pace.
I’ve been jumping through hoops trying to prove I could be a competent dad when I felt like the biggest loser of all time.”
“You were just a little uninformed,” she teased. “But you’ve made vast improvements.”
“Thanks. I’m glad to hear that. Maybe it will be good for you to see me in my element.”
That’s what bothered her. She’d learned to like Drew within the narrow context of their relationship, such as it was.
What if she found out something she couldn’t stand about him?
Annie let it go. Everything would be fine. It was, after all, only one afternoon.
She was surprised when they drove into a subdivision in Chandler of half-acre lots and custom homes. This area was on the upper end of middle class.
Several cars and trucks were parked in the circular drive and Drew had to search for a space to park along the street.
“It looks like quite a party.”
“Yeah, Beth and Orion really know how to get everyone together. But I think this is the first party I’ve been to here since Orion…was killed.”
Annie opened her mouth to ask more about him, but Drew shut off the engine and Micah was struggling against his restraints.
So she got out and went around to the vehicle, but Drew had beat her to it.
He was unbuckling the harness, lifting Micah from his seat.
“Down,” the boy demanded.
“Hold my hand,” Drew countered as he set him on his feet, grasping his hand before Micah realized he had a choice.
She took her son’s other hand and they headed up the walk.
The rye grass was lush and dark green, the orange trees neatly trimmed. It was obvious someone took great care of the landscaping. Did Beth try to do it herself? Was she one of those perfect, Martha Stewart–type women?
Annie’s nervousness returned.
Drew didn’t bother to knock on the door. He merely let them in.
There was music playing, and laughter drifted in through an open window.
“Usually everyone hangs out in the backyard,” he explained.
They went through a large country kitchen.
He nodded toward the center island. “Why not leave the brownies there if you can find a spot.”
Welcome Home, Daddy Page 12
