CHAPTER SIXTEEN
I’ve never been so happy to have my sister, Amanda, home from college for the weekend. I give her time to catch up with Mom and eat dinner. When she goes up to her room, I try to excuse myself, but I’m not that lucky being that it’s my night to do the dishes.
As soon as I’m done, I go upstairs and knock on Amanda’s door.
“Come in,” she says.
She’s already in her pajamas and reading a book.
“Hmm… I was wondering if we could talk.”
“Sure. What’s up?”
I walk in and sit on the floor with my back against the door.
“I have this research paper that I was wondering if you could help me with.”
She gives me a puzzled look. I’ve always been a sucky liar.
She grins, confirming she knows I’m lying. “What is it about?”
“About—hmm—women, I guess. If you were to make like a bucket list… or a list of things worth living for… or a list of things that every teenage girl should do at least once, what would be on that list?” Yeah, I just screwed this up. For some reason, I’m so nervous that, if she didn’t know I was lying before, she does now.
She laughs. “What kind of class are you taking, Alec?”
I grunt and start to get up. “Never mind.”
“No, it’s okay,” she stops me. “Sit down. I would love to help.”
I sit back down. Since I am already at this point anyway, I might as well finish it.
“Okay, so you want a list of things that all teen girls should be able to experience. Is that it?”
I nod and take my phone out to type some notes.
“Let’s see… well, this is tough. How about I give you my list? I think most girls usually like the same stuff.”
And so I start to type what she says:
Go camping with a group of friends and no supervision.
Go on a road trip with a group of friends.
Sneak out of the house and go to a party.
“Wait. Mom isn’t going to see this list, right?”
I laugh. “No.”
“Okay. Good.” And so she continues…
Go to a dance and feel like a princess.
Share a secret or fears with a best friend or boyfriend.
She smiles, “Kiss in the rain. And… summer love.”
I roll my eyes at the last two.
“Is that it?” I ask.
“Hmmm…
Go to an outdoor concert to see her favorite band.
Make a difference in someone’s life…
And really, whatever stuff she’s into, just try to make a big deal out of it.” She pauses. “That’s all I can think of for now.”
I get up and thank her before I start to open the door, but she stops me.
“Alec?”
“Yes?” I ask looking back at her.
“Be careful, okay?”
I take a deep breath. “This is for a friend,” I try to recover from my lie with another lie.
She smiles sadly at me and I know what she thinks… Mom surely talked to her about Skylar and I being friends again. She knows exactly what the purpose of this list is and she probably thinks I’m going to get attached to Skylar, but I know I can’t. I can’t get attached to anyone… because if I do get sick again, I don’t want to go through treatment, and I wouldn’t want to put anyone through that with me.
I leave her room and go into mine. I lay down on my bed and I stare at the list. I don’t have a clue where I should start. Honestly, I don’t think Skylar would trust me with any of those things. Well, the ones I have even considered. Summer love and kiss in the rain are obviously out of question. I decide that my best bet is to approach her friend Mike and include him wherever I can. Maybe she’ll go along that way.
I figure I’ll have to just play along and see what happens.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Saturday morning, I get in the truck and head to the baseball field to watch the game. When I drive by the cemetery, I slow down and end up driving over to the next road and parking the truck.
I head over to where Sky is sitting on the ground and crying. She’s sitting in front of Kristi’s tombstone.
“Hi,” I say, but she doesn’t turn around.
“Hi,” she says back.
“Do you want me to leave?” I ask.
She shrugs. “You can stay.” She pauses for a few seconds. “I miss her.”
I take a step closer and sit next to her. “I know you do,” I pause. “Hey, how about you show me what you do on a regular day. Just whatever you’d be doing with Kristi right now.”
She looks at me and bites her bottom lip. “I don’t think that is a good idea.”
I know she sees the disappointment in my eyes. I’m really only trying to help.
She sighs. “I want to get lost in someone else’s world. Mine is not looking too great right now. How about we do what you’d be doing with your friends?”
“Really?”
She nods and gets up.
“Okay. Well, how did you get here?” I ask.
“Walked.”
“Let’s go,” I say.
She gets in the truck without asking any questions. “I was supposed to be watching the guys play right now. Do you want to go?”
“Sure.”
“And you won’t mind who might be there?” I figure she knows Lizzie and Mandy are implied.
She agrees to go anyway. We head to the school, but we’re late. The game is already almost over. I get out of the truck and spot Mandy and Lizzie before she does. They’re laughing and pointing at the guys. I roll my eyes.
“Can we watch the game from here?” she asks.
“Yeah. Of course.”
I go to the back of the truck and put the tailgate down.
She tries to pull herself up, but with my truck being lifted, she fails miserably. I laugh at her. “Here. Let me help you.”
I put my hands on each side of her waist. I notice she tenses, so I hurry up and lift her up, getting her on the tailgate. I then hop up and we watch the game. The guys are doing pretty good. Kyle gets the third batter out. Then they head for the dugout for the next inning. This is the part of the game that Kyle hates. He’s the best pitcher we have, but put him in any position he doesn’t care for playing and he has some serious anger issues. After a few batters, Kyle grabs the bat. This isn’t going to be pretty.
Kyle strikes out on the first pitch and he turns bright red from anger. He throws the bat on the ground and practically launches forward toward the pitcher.
“What is he doing?” she asks.
I shake my head. “He doesn’t like that guy. He thinks he is a better pitcher than Kyle and he is a total show off.”
By then, the guys from our team are already grabbing Kyle and pulling him off the field.
The game resumes, but we can hear Kyle mouthing off at the other team.
Sky starts laughing. “Wow. And to think THAT was my replacement.”
I give her a confused look. “What do you mean?”
She shrugs. “You know… as your best friend.”
“Oh. Yeah. I guess so,” I laugh. “He’s a pretty good guy. He just loves baseball a bit too much.”
“And you?” she asks.
“Me what?”
“Do you still love baseball?”
I know where this is going… “Of course.”
“Are you ever going to tell me why you are not playing?” she asks.
For the first time, I confide the truth in someone other than Kyle or my older sister. “What’s the point? If I get sick again, I would have to stop.”
Her eyes widen, but she quickly recovers. “But what if you don’t get sick again, Alec?”
I shrug. “I would rather not get my hopes up.”
She cocks her head to the side like she’s trying to grasp what I just said, then starts to watch the game again.
A few minutes before it’s over, she ho
ps off the tailgate.
She looks up at me. “Is it okay if we go now?”
I know she’s avoiding Lizzie and Mandy. “Yeah. Let’s go. I hop off the tailgate and we get in the truck.
“What would you do now?” she asks.
“Hang out at Kyle’s house and then the guys will probably have a party somewhere to celebrate winning.”
She nods as if trying to decide what to do.
“We don’t have to go.”
“I want to, but—”
“Would you go if Mandy and Lizzie weren’t there?”
She sighs. “Probably.”
“What are they like around you, Sky? Why are you so afraid?”
She looks down. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Okay.” I know I’ll find out sooner or later. I mean, I hear Mandy and Lizzie make comments about her at school, but there has to be something else.
I grab my phone and send Kyle a text.
“What are you doing?” she asks.
I look up at her and grin. “Party is at my house. My guest list.”
She looks away again. “I know I shouldn’t try and hide from them, or stay out of their way. I just want to stay away from the drama, you know?”
“You don’t have to explain yourself,” I say. “Ready to go?”
“Hmmm. Where to?” she says as she puts the seatbelt on.
I take a deep breath. “I should probably tell Mom we’re having a party, and I’m sure she is going to give me a huge list of chores to do before then.”
She laughs. “Let me guess? You need my help.”
“I wouldn’t complain if I had some help,” I smile back at her.
SKYLAR
Once we are at Alec’s house, his sister comes running down the stairs when she hears us.
“Oh. Hi Skylar. How have you been?”
She doesn’t seem surprised to see me and she keeps glancing at Alec and smiling, which makes me wonder what they have been talking about. As if reading my mind, she says, “Mom told me you’re hanging out again. Finally! I wondered how long it would take until you were friends again.”
Alec shakes his head. “Is Mom home?”
“Yeah. In the kitchen.”
He goes into the kitchen and we both follow him. His mom is actually happy that he wants to have his friends over. He uses the words ‘small get together’ instead of party. I guess it does sound a lot better. But like he expected, she does give him a list of chores and sends his sister to the store with me.
Amanda takes his truck. She is so friendly. My favorite thing about her is that she doesn’t talk about anything personal. She goes on and on about classes, movies, and music. In no time, we are back from the store with bags full of junk food.
“Where is Alec?” asks Amanda.
“He’s in the backyard with Kyle. They’re moving some chairs out back.”
I follow her out back.
“Hey, Skylar… Amanda,” says Kyle.
“Hey,” we both say at the same time. “Do you need help here?”
“Nah. We got this. Do one of you mind getting my guitar from the car though?” Kyle asks.
“You play?” I ask surprised.
“A little,” he grins then cocks his head to the side. “Why? Do you?”
I laugh. “A little, I guess.”
I glance at Alec and he’s standing there, staring at Kyle like he’s in a daze.
“I’ll go get it,” says Amanda. “Come on, Kyle. Skylar can help Alec. We got a lot of catching up to do.”
“Yeah, like me getting suspended from playing baseball for two weeks because of some douchebag.”
Alec laughs. “You did go a little batty back there.”
“That is a lame joke, Bro. Let’s go Amanda.”
He follows her out front.
I turn to Alec, “So who all is coming? We got a lot of food.”
He laughs. “Mom exaggerates her shopping lists by a lot. It will just be a couple guys from the baseball team and three or four of them are bringing their girlfriends.”
I suddenly feel nervous. This is not exactly my crowd.
“What is wrong?” asks Alec.
I sigh. “Nothing.”
He looks like he is deep in thought.
“You can invite your friend Mike if you want.”
I wish I could. “I don’t think that is a good idea.”
“How come?”
“It’s silly,” I say.
“As silly as us not talking for so long because I was teased about having a girlfriend?”
I laugh. “Not that silly.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
ALEC
Sky goes home for a bit to tell her parents where she is and then comes back, holding her phone.
“Is it still okay if I invite Mike?” she asks.
“Yeah. Of course!”
She texts him and while we set up the food, she keeps looking at her phone like she is nervous.
“Has he replied?” I ask.
“Nah. He probably won’t.”
SKYLAR
The guys come in, laughing and joking loudly. Alec introduces me to the guys and to the three girls whom I recognize from school. The girls say hi and kind of take their boyfriends to random spots to sit down. The other guys come around and they all start talking about the game.
“Hey, did you bring your guitar, Kyle?” One of them yells from across the backyard.
“Yeah,” Kyle says back. I look over and see that Kyle is getting the firepit started.
Amanda comes back out and asks me to sit next to her. I welcome her being so friendly. I was starting to feel really lost. Kyle comes over with his guitar and sits next to Amanda.
One of the girls from school ends up sitting on my other side, and Alec sits across from us.
The girl leans in, “Does Lizzie know you are here?” she whispers, but it’s just a normal question. She doesn’t sound like she’s trying to be mean or rude.
“Not that I know of.”
She shakes her head and notices that I tense.
“Don’t worry. I’m not going to say anything. I was really just wondering how come she isn’t here and we were asked to not say anything about this party.”
I shrug and Amanda gets my attention. She leans in and whispers. “Is she giving you a hard time?”
“No. It’s okay.”
“Ugh. I hate high school drama. Why don’t you go get yourself a drink?” she says.
“Hmm okay.”
I go get a drink and when I turn around, Amanda is on my chair, chatting and laughing with that girl. I go back and end up sitting between her and Kyle.
Amanda looks at me and winks, then leans in and whispers, “Just trying to be drama free.”
I laugh. “Thanks.”
The guys talk about the game a little more and then one of the guys turns to Kyle and asks, “So, are you just going to let that guitar look pretty on your lap, Bro?”
Kyle shrugs. “What do you want me to play?”
“How about that new song you wrote?”
My jaw drops, and then drops even more when he starts to play. He was obviously being modest before when he said he only played a little. I’m impressed and I’m not easily impressed. When he finishes the song, Alec says, “How about you let Skylar play something?”
I can feel my hands shake and sweat.
I give Alec a look that says, ‘why would you put me on the spot like that?’
“I don’t think that is a good idea. I—can’t.”
All the guys start to beg. “Come on, Skylar. Please?”
“Ugh. Fine.” I hate singing in front of people I don’t know and, even though we have always gone to school together, I don’t really know any of them.
Kyle offers me his guitar, which I take and adjust to the right position.
I close my eyes to clear my head. I pretend that no one else is here and I start to sing Who You Are, the cover version done by Ed Sheeran.
Kyle is gonna get it later. He is making one hell of an impression on her. That is what usually happens when he touches that guitar. It’s like a freaking magic wand.
I end up saying that he should let her play and she tries to refuse, but I’m surprised she doesn’t put up more of a fight.
She closes her eyes and starts singing. I missed her singing. A little while into the song, she opens her eyes. I’m sitting directly in front of her so she looks straight at me. But not only that, it’s like she picked this song on purpose because of what we were talking about. She stares right into my eyes as she sings,
Don’t lose who you are in the blur of the stars.
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It’s okay not to be okay.
Sometime it’s hard to follow your heart.
It’s like she didn’t even realize she was staring at me. And once she does, she quickly focuses on the firepit instead. After a few seconds, she sings that part of the song again. Those words nail exactly how I feel sometimes about not playing baseball. It’s like a part of me is missing—like I’m losing a big part of who I am, but that realization doesn’t change anything.
I focus my attention back on her. This is different than hearing her sing through walls. There is a spark in her eyes and you can see the passion from miles away. I don’t know what she plans on doing with her life, but this should be it. She is talented beyond belief. I get lost in watching her, and after a while, I notice that Amanda is watching me curiously.
“What?” I mouth in her direction. She shakes her head and smiles, right before she looks away.
When Sky finishes the song, everyone is quiet. Really, everyone is in awe. She is that freaking amazing.
Everyone claps and one of the guy’s jokes, “I think we may have to fire you from your singing duties, Kyle.”
Sudden Hope Page 5
