by Frankie Love
Jasper and Tracy are gone. Fuck.
“The thing is,” Buck says, squeezing my shoulder, “you’re not in this alone. We all have your back.”
“And we’ll help with childcare for as long as you need,” Harper adds. “You already have an ad with a nanny agency. I’m sure they will find you someone in no time.”
I nod, numb to my reality. “They’re just so small.” We all turn to look at the six-month-old twins. I am going to do everything within my power to be the man they need.
“You can take a few months off work,” Jaxon adds. “The reality show won’t start until summer anyways when the ground is dry and good for building, that’s a good four months away.”
I raise my eyes to the ceiling, trying to keep my head on straight. They’re right of course. I have them to help me through this, and a job that will be waiting for me once the dust settles.
“It’s gonna be okay, Wilder,” Harper says, lifting Briar from the highchair and handing her to me. “Just take one day at a time.”
Rosie takes Finn from his chair and wipes his face clean with a washrag before setting him in my other arm. “See, you have two arms, you can take care of two babies.”
I swallow, wishing like hell I had a woman to help. And it’s not the babies I’m talking about needing help with. I mean I wish I had a woman who was here to hold me like I’m holding these two.
Because damn, I could really use some tender loving care right about now.
Chapter Six
Meeting Wilder changed my life.
I walked out of the hotel room, swiped power-red lipstick on in the elevator, and went back to the conference room where our interview was held.
The producer, Janice, who had escorted me out looked surprised to see me, but I was all-in, all business, and not leaving without the gig.
I could do this.
Heck, I’d unabashedly gone door to door asking for old furniture I could reupholster when I still hadn’t landed my first gig out of college. I’d knocked on the doors of design firms and gave them my pitch, desperate to break in the field. I could certainly muster up the courage to meet with this Los Angeles television crew.
This isn’t necessarily a job I was made for – but I want to see my sister with her jaw agape. I want to make it on my own, without anyone’s help.
And I did.
It worked.
They gave me the job.
Like a for real, signed contract, here is the salary and the start date, legit job.
“Really?” Anna asks when I stop by her house the next morning. “You got it? You’re going to be on TV?”
“Yeah. I mean, they’re filming a handful of episodes for next year, all over the country, and I’ll start work late May.”
“Wow.” Anna raises her eyebrow at her housekeeper who is arranging a vase of flowers, water getting all over counters. “Nina, you’re making a mess. I’ll do that. Go get Nicolette ready for school.”
Nina frowns but leaves the kitchen.
“It’s just water, Anna,” I say, confused at her attitude toward Nina. I mean, I understand being a brat to me -- that’s her regular behavior. But Nina did nothing.
Anna just waves me off. “You wouldn’t understand. You have literally zero responsibility. You just flutter around doing whatever you fancy.”
I roll my eyes, not needing this. Not after yesterday’s high. Besides landing an amazing job, I also managed to screw the hottest man I’d ever seen.
I was up all night touching myself at the memory of his cock. I was half-tempted to Uber over to the hotel and knock on his door for a midnight booty call. But then I remembered our May 10th plans and forced self-restraint.
Sometimes the wait makes it all worth it.
“Just so you know, I am very responsible. I work out, eat three meals a day, and shower regularly.”
Anna scoffs. “Exactly. No freaking clue.” She raises her arms pointing to her gorgeous mansion as if she knows anything about sacrifice. “I’m a stay at home mom, Stella. Just wait until you have kids, all those things you think make you an adult will feel like luxuries.”
I shrug. “I get it. You are more adult than me. Fine. But Anna,” I tell her, shaking my head at her lack of reality. “You are not the poster-mom for women who are roughing it. So maybe get off your high horse and stop laying it on quite so thick.”
I turn, leaving her kitchen, because seriously, what world is she living in?
My world may not be as full as hers, but it is still mine.
And I like it just the way it is.
Six weeks later...
I remember thinking–the day after my hotel quickie and landing the job–that Wilder’s confidence boost changed my life.
Apparently, that was the understatement of the century.
Because if I thought he had changed my life before... that doesn’t hold a candle to what it is now.
But seven tests don’t lie.
I am definitely pregnant with Wilder’s baby.
“I just don’t get it.” Anna sits across from me at a coffee shop. Nicolette is beside her with a mini iPad in her hands. “You got p-r-e-g-g-o from a one night stand? Didn’t you use a condom?”
I shake my head at my sister. She’s seriously going to spell out preggo but not condom? What am I even doing telling her?
This was a bad idea.
But what else am I going to do? I haven’t lived anywhere long enough to make a tight circle of girlfriends. I went to college back east, and when I finished a year ago I came back to Seattle and haven’t really had time to make new friends. Besides, how do people make friends as adults anyways?
I press my hand to my still flat tummy. Maybe with a baby on the way it will be easier to find some other ladies I have something in common with.
Except, of course, the questions might be awkward. I can just imagine sitting at a mommy and me group and someone asking who the father is and me saying, oh just a one-night stand.
I mean, I know that is an option, and I’m not ashamed exactly–that night was bliss... it’s just I don’t even know his full name.
“We didn’t use protection. I’m on the pill. I thought it would be fine.”
“That was stupid, Stella. You could have gotten an STD. He’s a stranger!”
“I know.” Heat rises to my cheeks. I acted so irresponsibly. But try telling that to stick-up-her-ass Anna.
It’s not like she’s going to understand that my night with Wilder was magic. That I needed to be filled by him, entirely. It wasn’t even a question, it was a given. I needed to feel him inside of me.
“So what are you going to do now? Have you called him?” Anna dips biscotti in her latte.
I drop my head in my hands, moaning, “I don’t even have his number.”
“Shit.” Anna grimaced. “I mean s-h-i-t.”
Nicolette looks up at her mom. “Naughty mommy.”
My eyes reach hers. “No sweetie, naughty Auntie.”
Chapter Seven
I don’t remember what sleep is. What showering is. What having a life is.
Sex? Damn... I haven’t even had time to jack-off to the memory of Stella more than once.
Briar is crawling around at my feet; Finn is throwing blocks at his stuffed animals. And I’m drinking lukewarm coffee, hanging on by a thread.
A knock on the door jars me from my daydream.
I know what day it is.
And I know what I’d like to be doing. Who I’d like to be doing.
But I also know my priorities.
The twins.
“Open up,” Harper calls.
Frowning I walk to the front door of the cabin. The cabin that is overflowing with baby paraphernalia.
Baby gates and baskets of toys that blink and bop and bug the shit out of me. Can’t say they’re going anywhere, though, the twins love anything that is loud and bright. The more obnoxious, the better.
“What are you two doing here?” I ask Rosie and Harper
.
They walk past me, into the house. “We are here to give you a day off,” Rosie says, helping herself to a cup of coffee.
“You might want to make a fresh pot.”
She nods and gets to work.
“Not just a day,” Harper says. “A day and night.”
I run my hand over my beard. “What’s this about?”
“It’s about you telling us that you had plans for May 10th a month ago,” Rosie says, adding coffee grounds to the filter like she owns the place. Truth is, she and Harper have been my saving grace these past months.
Being a mom is no easy feat, and these two don’t necessarily make it easy, but they make it bearable. They stop by with casseroles and DVD’s or tell me to load up the jogging stroller and meet them for a walk at the lake.
Jaxon and Buck never give me hard time about it either, playing house with their wives. They weren’t lying or just talking shit the day of the funeral, we’ve all been in this together since day one.
I wanted a nanny, but apparently finding one who wants to move to the middle of fucking nowhere with a single man is a mighty hard task. No one has been up for the gig.
“No way, I can’t go to Spokane tonight. She might not even show.” I shake my head; I haven’t left the twins for a night since they came home. Briar and Finn are my entire world now, and being here is how I can show them they are my priority.
“That’s ridiculous, if the connection you felt was real, she’ll be there, it’s too romantic for her not to come,” Harper says, grabbing creamer from the fridge. “Besides, it’s all set. Jaxon and Buck have our kids, and I’m taking yours. Rosie is going to stay here and clean house–because honestly, this place is a man slash baby cave, and when you come home tomorrow you will feel like a new person.”
I sit on a stool at the kitchen island, trying to think this through. Of course, I want to see Stella, but then I look over and see Briar fussing, reaching out her arms, and I know she needs me more.
Rosie sees where my eyes land, and she walks right over and picks up Briar, resting her on her hip. “Listen, we aren’t asking. We are telling. You need a break.”
Harper hands me a mug of coffee, and I take a sip knowing if I were going to trust anyone with the babies, it would be these two women and their men. Still, I have my reservations.
“I just get scared that something might happen to me,” I admit. “Then what would happen to them?”
Rosie’s eyes soften as she sets Briar in her jump-a-roo. “When I was pregnant with the twins, I was so scared, had so many what ifs, but Wilder, sometimes you have to take a chance. I did, I left my uncle’s and it saved my life.”
Harper nods and we all know her story is just as messed up as Rosie’s–she had to run away from an abusive family. “I remember when you talked about what you did in Seattle, after the meeting with the show, you got so happy remembering Stella. You haven’t smiled like that since.”
I shrug. “How could I? There’s nothing to smile about, my brother and his wife died.”
Harper sighs. “I know, but you didn’t, Wilder. You still have a life to live.”
“Go see her,” Rosie prods, and I know I need to do what these two say.
I’ve been around them with Jax and Buck long enough to know who is the boss in their houses. It may seem like the big alphas are in control, but these women have those boys whipped.
Damn, I wouldn’t mind Stella whipping me into shape, either.
Then I’d pin her against the wall.
“Alright, I’ll do it.” I press my hand against the counter, going all in.
“Good. But first,” Harper says, furrowing her brows. “You seriously need to shower.”
Chapter Eight
This is insanity. Straight up crazy making.
Straight up baby making.
I still can’t believe I am pregnant. But I’m twelve weeks along and have my first ultrasound scheduled in two days.
It’s the busiest week of my life.
The day after the ultrasound I go on my first assignment for the show–and will be crisscrossing the country working for six weeks straight.
But before that, I’m staying at the Davenport.
The plane lands in Spokane and I turn my phone on while I wait to disembark.
Me: Landed. Safe. Wish me luck.
Anna: You need to be firm. Honest. Don’t get sidetracked.
Anna and I had talked ad nauseam about this rendezvous. I have no clear indication that Wilder will even show, but I hope he does. If not I might have to hire a PI to track him down. It will be so much better if I can see him, talk face-to-face, and explain my plan.
Me: I hope he shows.
Anna: He will. Keep me posted.
I get off the plane and head to the Davenport hotel where the design conference is. The last thing I want to do right now is sit in a stuffy room listening to speakers, but my mom paid for me to attend, and I want to up my game any possible way I can before the show starts next week. Besides, if I sit in the hotel room for hours alone, I’ll only obsess about the future.
About Wilder.
I drop off my suitcase, make sure my hair and makeup look alright... and deem that I look fine-ish.
The dark circles from restless sleep and a gaunt face because I can’t manage to keep a single thing down, isn’t exactly bringing sexy back, but there’s nothing I can do about it right now.
He’ll either take it or leave it.
After hours of listening to interior design experts talk about this year’s new colors, the best way to feng-shui, and the top five ways to keep clients happy–my brain is more than full of practical information.
Now I need something totally impractical.
Something Wilder.
I look at the clock and see it’s five pm. Happy hour is in full swing, and it’s time to make my appearance.
I walk slowly to the bar because the truth is I’m scared. Scared he won’t be here, and scared that he might be, but that he’ll high-tail it out of here the first chance he gets.
Not everyone wants a baby from a one-night stand.
Not everyone wants a baby at all.
But I do. I mean, I never expected to have a baby now, like this, but it happened. Sure, I’m overwhelmed with the details of what my life will look like six months from now, but I can take it one day at a time.
Still, that doesn’t mean Wilder wants to be a father, wants a baby he never asked for.
Looking around the bar, I don’t see him, so I slide onto a stool and order a club soda with lime. Taking a sip, my eyes scan the space again.
Hoping.
Praying.
Needing him to show.
“Stella?” A warm hand is on my back. Wilder’s voice, that slow steady tone covers me. Relaxes me. Instantly I’m transported to the last time he relaxed me, my thighs spread, his body pressed inside of me.
“You came,” I say, breathless. Not realizing how terrified I was of him not showing.
But he did show. He came. He came back for me.
“Sure did, baby,” he says, sitting beside me, ordering a whiskey neat. He looks tired, his eyes weary, his hair too long, and he isn’t dressed in a business suit.
He’s in a flannel shirt, sleeves rolled up, and blue jeans.
He looks different. I mean, hotter than he did last time, but different. Older. Or maybe not actually older, just more experienced.
Finally, I remember to speak, my eyes adjusting to this different version of Wilder. “It’s been a long time.”
“A lot has changed.” Wilder’s eyes dart away, and for a moment my stomach drops. Maybe he’s with another woman. I swallow, suddenly regretting all of this.
Then he meets my gaze again, presses his hand to my face and turns my cheek his direction. “Not that sort of change, baby,” he says as if reading my mind.
“So you’re single?” I ask, needing him to clarify.
“Very.”
“Me too.”
>
He smiles. Grins, really, like he is just completely relieved. He raises his glass, and I clink mine to his. We take a sip and I try to get the courage to say I am pregnant with his child.
But before I can, his hand is already on my thigh. “You wanna get out of here?” he asks.
I nod, not trusting myself to speak. And maybe tonight we don’t have to speak. Maybe tonight I can just give in to what my body has been begging for since I saw him last.
“Then let’s go to your room,” he says. “We have a lot of lost time to make up for.”
Chapter Nine
She’s better than I remembered.
First of all, she’s here. That had been my number one concern the entire drive up. Would she even show?
But she did.
And damn, it’s crazy, but I feel like I’ve known her for a hell of a lot longer than one post-happy-hour hook-up. I feel like I’m connected to her in a deeper, forever sort of way.
Not that I’m going to lead with that and scare her off like I did last time... but I’m certainly not going to beat around the bush. I want to spend more time with her, even though I have no idea what that looks like.
In the elevator, she turns and faces me. “I can’t believe you came. It was a long shot.”
“Was it though?” I ask, wrapping my arms around her waist. My cock twitches as I pull her to me. Damn, all I’ve held in my arms since I saw her last is the twins.
Holding her feels like family, too.
“I don’t know,” she says. “We’re strangers. I mean, aren’t we?”
“Depends on who’s asking. Far as I’m concerned I saw you on your back, your tits in my mouth, your pussy in the palm of my hand. Doesn’t seem like we’re strangers, when you think of it like that, does it?”
She blushes, and presses her hand against my chest. “That’s true. Still, there are some details I’d like filled in. For example, what’s your full name?”
“Fair enough,” I say, following her out of the elevator. She swipes a room key against a lock and pushes the door. “My name is Dean Wilder. And you?”
