‘Honestly?’
‘Honestly,’ he said.
She stared at him. Said nothing. Stared at him still. Why did she believe him?
She did believe him. And if she did believe him…
She took a deep breath, summoned the words she needed and said them. ‘I could help,’ she said.
There was a loaded silence. He rose and stared down at her, as if she’d suddenly announced the arrival of aliens.
‘You’re kidding me,’ he said at last.
‘I don’t say what I don’t mean,’ she said, and rose as well. ‘Tell me what you need me to do and I’ll do it.’ She wasn’t feeling very steady. She put her hand on the balustrade to support herself and suddenly Stefanos’s hand was over hers.
‘You can’t,’ he said softly.
‘I can’t help? How do you know I can’t?’ She tilted her chin. ‘Sure, I don’t know anything about this place, sure I was angry just then, but I’ll get over it. You can teach me. If your work’s so important, then I can try.’
The silence extended. She really was exhausted, she thought. If it wasn’t for the balustrade and Stefanos’s hand…
‘Elsa, I’m starting to think there’s nothing you can’t do,’ he said softly into the silence. ‘There’s no end to your generosity. Zoe’s parents die and you abandon your career and take care of her. I arrive and tell you she’s needed here and you upend your life and abandon your echinoderms and come with her. And now…your anger turns to an offer of help, just like that. If I said I had to leave tomorrow would you try and handle the council yourself?’
‘Maybe I could,’ she said and jutted her chin and he laughed, a lovely deep chuckle that had her confused. Veering towards anger again. If only she wasn’t so tired.
‘No, don’t be angry, my lovely Elsa,’ he said softly, and he placed a finger under her chin. ‘I’m not laughing at you. Indeed, I never could. But no. Your generosity is amazing. Stunning. And, if I could, maybe I’d be tempted. But the island needs a ruler who knows it. Like it or not, I was raised here. I know the islanders. I know the problems. No, I don’t want to rule here. I want to practice my medicine. I won’t be able to practice the medicine I want here, but that’s a small sacrifice in the scheme of things. I’ve already started a training scheme back in New York. I just have to hope my work keeps going. If you could bear me to be away for these few weeks it will make all the difference.’
‘You should have told me.’
‘I should have told you,’ he agreed. ‘Indeed, I’m starting to think I should have told you many things.’ Then, as she pulled slightly away from him, his hands came to rest on her shoulders. ‘Thank you, Elsa. I can’t believe your generosity, and I will keep you safe. I will keep Zoe safe.’
‘I know you will.’ Unaccountably, her eyes filled with tears. Dammit, she would not cry. She would not cry.
But he was too big and too close and too male.
Matty, she thought, but it was a faint echo of a love that was gone. Only…why did it feel as if she was betraying him now?
‘You’re as exhausted as Zoe,’ Stefanos said softly. She shook her head and tried again to pull away from him-and staggered on the staircase.
But she didn’t fall. This man had promised to keep her safe and that was just what he was doing.
‘That hip…’ he said, holding her steady.
‘It’s fine.’
‘It’s not fine. It’s on my list to do something about. But not now. Now’s for sleeping.’ And, before she realised what he intended, she was lifted into his arms and he was striding down the hallway, just the same way he’d carried Zoe. As if her weight was nothing.
‘Put…What do you think you’re doing? Put me down.’
‘In a moment,’ he said, not breaking stride. ‘You need to go where Zoe’s going.’
She wanted to struggle. She really did. But suddenly all the struggle was sucked out of her.
His arms were strong, he was big and capable and he was carrying her like a child. For Elsa, who hadn’t been treated as a child since…well, since she was one, the sensation was indescribable.
She could melt into these arms, she thought. She could let herself disappear, stop struggling, let these arms hold her for ever.
Was this what jet lag did to a girl?
He was at her bedroom, pushing open her door with his foot. The interconnecting door to Zoe’s room was open and she could see through. Zoe was asleep already.
She suddenly felt inordinately proud of herself, that she was a good guardian, or nanny, or whatever she was supposed to be. She’d checked on her charge, even when she wasn’t exactly in control herself.
And then she realised that Stefanos was carrying her through to Zoe’s room. And she saw why.
Zoe’s vast four-poster bed had been moved closer to the door. Zoe was fast asleep in it. And on the other side of her massive bed was another bed. A matching four-poster. Velvet curtains, a vast canopy, eiderdowns and cushions…
The room had been turned into a twin room, with two beds that were so ridiculously enormous that she gasped with incredulity.
‘Wh…’
‘I know it’s a bit crowded,’ Stefanos said, smiling down at her in a dumb, indulgent genie sort of way that for some weird reason had her heart doing backflips. ‘You’ll just have to slum it.’
Slum it…
Matching four-posters…
‘I’m probably going to have to pay out on workers’ insurance too,’ he said morosely. ‘Do you know how much these things weigh? It took eight of us to get it in here.’
‘You…you…’ She could hardly get it out.
‘Idiot?’ he suggested, laughing down at her and her heart did another backflip.
‘Definitely idiot,’ she said, trying for asperity and failing miserably. ‘I…Thank you.’ She was so far out of her comfort zone that she could hardly make her voice work but there was something else she badly needed to say. ‘And…at the press conference…thank you for calling me Doctor.’
‘It’s what you are.’
‘Not since Zoe needed me. I’ve been her mama since then. If I called myself Doctor, everyone thought I was medical. It just confused things.’
‘So you stopped being Doctor and started being Mama. As you’d stop being on holiday and start bossing councillors if I asked it of you. You know, you’re one special lady.’
‘I am not.’
He grinned and lowered her onto the bed, and when he let her go she was aware of a sharp stab of loss.
‘You want some painkillers for your hip?’
‘It’s not hurting.’
‘I’m very sure it is.’
‘It’s fine!’
‘Right, then,’ he said and smiled again. She could hear his smile even when she didn’t look at him. It was a smile that crept all around her, enveloping her in its sweetness. ‘You want help to undress?’
‘No,’ she said and then, as she reran his question in her head, she found her voice. ‘No! And…and don’t think I’m not angry any more that you didn’t tell me. I still am. It’s just got to wait until morning.’
‘That’s my girl. What if I organise lunch tomorrow so we can talk about it?’
‘I don’t think…’
‘I don’t think you can think right now.’
He tugged an eiderdown from the foot of the bed and tucked it around her. ‘You’d be more comfortable if you undress but I don’t think I can help you there,’ he said, his voice suddenly unsteady.
‘No,’ she said, and then couldn’t think why she’d said it. Her voice didn’t seem to belong to her.
‘You’ll be okay,’ he said, looking down at her with all the tenderness in the world. As if he cared. As if he really cared.
‘You’ll be cared for here,’ he said, echoing her thoughts. ‘You and Zoe will be safe. We’ll get that hip fixed. You can play with your starfish and live happily ever after.’
There was a lot to object to in that statement.
He seemed to think he was reassuring her.
‘I hate starfish,’ she muttered.
‘You hate starfish?’
‘They don’t do anything. They just blob. You move ’em and they just blob some more. I hate ’em.’
‘You’re studying them.’
‘Doesn’t mean I don’t hate ’em.’
‘You’re done in, sweetheart.’
‘I’m not done in. And I’m not your sweetheart.’
‘You’re not, are you? There’s a complication to avoid.’
‘Go away.’
‘I will,’ he said.
But he didn’t. He stood gazing down at her and she didn’t want him to go. She was half asleep, allowing images from the past-grief, pain, worry, even starfish-to be supplanted by this gorgeous Prince of the Blood.
Prince of the Blood. She wasn’t actually sure what the term meant but she knew what it looked like. There was a Prince of the Blood smiling down at her right now, tucking in her eiderdown, looking gorgeous in his fabulous uniform. He was still wearing his sword!
‘I love your sword,’ she said.
‘Don’t encourage me,’ he said. ‘I’m starting to look in mirrors and swagger.’
‘So you ought,’ she whispered. ‘Life should hold a little swagger.’
His smile softened. He stooped so his face was really close to hers and he placed a finger on her lips. To hush her? She didn’t know and she didn’t much care. It was enough that he was touching her.
It was suddenly incredibly important that he touch her.
‘You’ve lost your swagger,’ he said softly, almost as a whisper. ‘Life’s sucked it right out of you. Let me fix it for you.’
‘I don’t…You can’t.’ Matty, she thought desperately, but he’d faded even more. What remained was the memory of how grief felt, how loss felt, how she couldn’t afford to fall…
‘Elsa…’ he said softly and as if in a dream she murmured back.
‘Mmm.’
‘Is it okay if I kiss you?’
Of course it wasn’t. The idea was ridiculous.
But this wasn’t real. It was a dream. And in her dream it was okay to kiss a prince. In her dream she could put her arms around his neck, link her hands and tug him downward.
In her dreams she could open her lips and wait for his lips to touch them.
In her dream he kissed her.
He kissed her.
Of all the dumb, stupid, complicating things to do, this must surely be the stupidest.
But she lay in her too-big bed, tucked under the vast eiderdown, looking up at him with eyes that were dreamy and close to sleep.
But not quite. She was watching him. She was smiling at him. And then her hands came up to hold him…He’d have to be inhuman to resist.
She was beautiful.
She was so different from any other woman in his world.
Slight and sexy, her sun-bleached curls were so fine they looked as if they’d float.
Her eyes were gorgeous in her too-thin face. A man could drown in those eyes.
She had eighteen freckles. He’d counted them when? Maybe the first time he’d seen her. How many times had he recounted? And her lips were so kissable.
What made Elsa’s lips more desirable than any other woman’s?
Because they belonged to Elsa?
And because she was responding.
Amazingly, she was tugging him down to her and there was no way he could resist these lips. This mouth. This woman. He sank so he was sitting on the vast bed, and he gathered her into his arms-and he kissed her with all the tenderness in his heart.
She melted into him. What had provoked him to ask permission to kiss her? He didn’t know. All he knew was that the desire had become overwhelming. And when his mouth met hers…
He’d kissed women in his time. None like this.
She was warm and tender, close to tears and close to laughter, exhausted by jet lag and by fear of losing Zoe, intimidated beyond belief by her surroundings…and yet she was courageous beyond belief and she was melting into his arms as if she belonged here. She was kissing as well as being kissed. Her lips were demanding, opening, aching for him, and taking him as well as giving herself.
She felt right.
She felt like…home. Home and heart.
There was a ridiculous thought. And, as the acknowledgement of how crazy it was hit home, other realities slammed in.
He did not need to be attracted to this woman. This woman meant family.
He did not do family.
All this flooded through his consciousness like a shock wave, breaking the passion of the kiss, causing his arms to stiffen a little, causing him to break away…
Or maybe it was Elsa who broke away. He hardly knew. All that was certain was that she was still in his arms but the kiss had ended and he felt a flood of regret so deep it threatened to overwhelm him.
And Elsa’s eyes were clouding as well, distancing herself from him, her arms untwining themselves from around his neck and pushing against his chest. Pushing him away.
‘What…what do you think you’re doing?’ she whispered and he knew her confusion was at least as great as his.
‘What do we both think we’re doing?’ he said ruefully and looked down into her face and saw fear.
Fear? Where had that come from? Surely she couldn’t be afraid of him.
He was a prince in a royal palace and she was…a royal nanny.
He stood up as if she burned, taking a swift step back from the bed. If she could think that…
But…‘You needn’t worry,’ she whispered. ‘I’m not thinking you’re about to rape and pillage. I have a scream that can be heard into the middle of next week.’
‘Good for you,’ he said unsteadily.
‘Don’t patronise me.’
‘I never would.’
She closed her eyes. It was a defence, he knew, but he never doubted for a moment that she’d sleep.
He stood looking down at her for a long moment, trying to think of what to say. Trying to think of how he could take this from here.
‘Go away,’ she muttered again.
Go away? It was the only sensible thing to do.
Of course it was the sensible thing to do.
Go away, he repeated to himself and it was a direct order, but only he knew how much effort it cost him to turn on his heel and walk out of the door.
If Zoe hadn’t been asleep in the next bed…
Maybe it was just as well she was.
CHAPTER NINE
E LSA woke and sunlight was streaming in though the massive French windows of their bedroom. The crystals from the chandelier above her head were sending glittering sparkles across the room.
Zoe was sitting on the end of her bed, fully dressed in another of the lovely outfits Stefanos had bought for her.
She was cuddling a kitten. A small grey kitten with a white nose, white paws and a tiny tip of white on the end of his tail.
‘Go say hello to Elsa,’ Zoe said, and put the kitten down and watched in satisfaction as the small creature walked along the coverlet, crouched down and put a paw out to tentatively touch Elsa’s chin.
‘What…where did he come from?’ Elsa managed, doing a speedy visual check of the room in case Stefanos was lurking behind the curtains. Not that she was afraid of Stefanos. Not exactly.
But she wouldn’t put it past the man to lurk.
‘Stefanos gave him to me,’ Zoe said with deep satisfaction. ‘He said I must be missing my cats at home and he’s mine to keep. His name is Buster.’
‘Yours to keep…’ Elsa said cautiously. This needed thinking about.
There were things like quarantine laws. It was easy enough, she knew, to get animals from Australia to Europe, but taking them the other way…
She’d just woken up and here was another instance of Stefanos’s arrogance. He’d have planned this before last night, she thought. Before she’d known he was leaving. He’d assumed he co
uld talk her round.
He had talked her round.
But something wasn’t making sense. Zoe was up and dressed. She’d gone to sleep-what-at five or six p.m.?
She checked her wristwatch.
Eleven.
She sat bolt upright and yelped. Buster bolted for the far end of the bed, where his new mistress scooped him up and held him close.
‘You’re scaring him,’ she said, reproachful.
‘I’m scaring myself. How can it be morning already?’
‘It’s been morning for ages,’ Zoe said. ‘I woke up and waited and waited but you kept sleeping. And then I opened the door and there was a really nice lady sitting in the corridor and she said her name was Christina and she’d been waiting for me to wake up. She helped me have a bath-it’s a really big bath, Elsa, you should see it-and she helped me with my clothes and then she took me down for breakfast and Stefanos was there. So we had a really yummy breakfast-strawberries, Elsa-and then Stefanos took me to the stables and gave me Buster. And I brought him up to show you but you were still sleeping, and Stefanos said we had to let you sleep for as long as you needed to, so we’ve been really quiet only we’ve just been watching.’
This was just about the longest speech Zoe had ever made. She sat back on the bed and cuddled Buster the kitten, and Elsa smiled at her in pleasure and wonder. The as-yet-not-met Christina must be good to have Zoe smiling after a bath. To be remembering it with pleasure.
But there was another part of her that was saying uh-oh.
Stefanos was truly seducing them, she thought, watching Zoe’s face flush with excitement. He’d already seduced her little charge. Zoe might be hugging her kitten but every time she said Stefanos’s name her voice took on the hush of hero worship.
He’d given her strawberries for breakfast. He’d given her a kitten.
Bribery, she thought.
And what was he trying on her?
Seduction of another kind.
But…she kind of liked it.
Matty, Matty, Matty, she thought fiercely but it didn’t work. Wherever Matty was, however much she’d loved him, he was no longer protection against Stefanos.
‘Do you want to get up now?’ Zoe said. ‘Stefanos wants to take you out to lunch. He said you both need to talk privately about boring stuff, so he asked if I’d mind staying here with Christina and Buster. And Christina thought she might show me the beach. If that’s okay with you,’ she added, but her tone said Elsa’s agreement was never in doubt.
Crowned: The Palace Nanny Page 10
