Kiara wasn't sure how he knew what she'd been holding back, but she was grateful for his quick actions. She felt so ill, physically and mentally. Her entire body quaked as she tried to regain control of herself.
As unaffected by her sickness as he'd been by killing those men, Nykyrian wet a cold washcloth and held it against the back of her neck until she was finished.
He handed the cloth to her and flushed the toilet. "Feeling better?"
She couldn't meet his gaze. Instead, she stared at the dark stains on his coat and shirt. "You have blood all over you."
He looked down at it. "It happens."
That made her sick again.
His elbows on his knees, Nykyrian crouched beside her in silence as he listened to her regurgitating. Her cheeks were flushed and the horror in her eyes kicked him straight in the gut. He knew what a monster he was.
But seeing that monster through her amber eyes was the most painful thing he'd ever endured.
You're nothing but an animal, unfit to be around decent people. No wonder your parents threw you away.
Trying to push the hurt away, he got up and found one of Syn's unopened toothbrushes. The little paranoid OCD bastard always kept extras so that he could change them out every few weeks. Nykyrian handed one to Kiara and stayed with her while she straightened herself up.
He would clean the blood off his own clothes, but the sight of it smeared over Syn's white linens would only make it worse for her. There was nothing more nauseating than blood on white--which was why he wore black and all of his linens were black.
When she was finished, he reached across her to get a towel.
She flinched and stepped back.
His heart twisted at her involuntary reaction. Did she really think after all they'd been through and shared that he could hurt her?
You wanted her to hate you. Congratulations. She does.
But he'd never wanted her to look at him that way--like he was unfeeling garbage. Just because he didn't show his feelings, it didn't mean he didn't have them.
You should be used to it by now. Everyone had looked at him like that at some point. Even Syn.
I am what I am.
What they'd made him. Nothing was ever going to change that.
He moved away and watched as she pulled the towel he'd been reaching for to her. When she was finished brushing her teeth and washing her face, she walked into the main room and refused to look at him as she sat down on the couch.
God, how he wanted to comfort her, but she'd never allow that now. She'd looked straight into the beast inside him and, like everyone else who'd seen it, she'd never be the same with him again.
The door opened.
Nykyrian spun about at the sound, his blaster leveling at the body in the doorway.
Syn held up his hands as the red dot lay steady on his forehead. "Whoa. Friend!" He tapped his chest twice. "Really good guy. 'Member me?"
Nykyrian holstered his blaster. "You should have used the link, asshole."
"Didn't think about that since I was entering, you know, my house. Thank the gods you're not like Darling. Shoot first and then sort it out after we're all bloody." Syn dumped his pack by the bar. "whatever you did to Aksel, you got him screaming mad. He's sent his men all over looking for you. I heard he already beat two informants to death trying to find out where you live."
Syn paused as he noticed Kiara sitting on the sofa as if she were in shock while she stared silently into space. "Is she all right?"
Nykyrian shook his head, his guilt mounting. He moved to stand beside Syn so that Kiara couldn't hear him and spoke in Ritadarion to make sure that even if she heard, she wouldn't understand. "I killed Arast in the bay before we left . . . right in front of her. She's coping with it about as well as you could hope for with a civilian . . ." He paused before he spoke again. "Don't let me forget I owe you a toothbrush."
Syn paled. "You okay?"
He gave his friend a dry stare. "When has death ever bothered me? Besides, it was a payday long overdue." He looked at Kiara over his shoulder. "I have some things to do. Get her to the safe zone."
Syn inclined his head.
Kiara heard Nykyrian leave, but she didn't bother looking up. Right now, she was trying not to be sick again.
"Here."
She jumped as Syn handed her a glass of brika--a very potent alcohol. "I don't drink that stuff."
"Today you do. The sugar in it will help with the shock and the minerals will help with the nausea." He pressed it into her hand.
Without further argument, she tossed the scorching liquid down her throat where it burned a path to her stomach. She gasped, her eyes watering.
"Good girl."
She handed the glass back to Syn as new fears washed through her. "How many people have you killed?"
He shrugged before he took the glass over to the bar and set it down. "I don't think about it."
"How can you not?"
He avoided looking at the picture of his son as he reached for a bottle of whisky and poured it into another glass. "Because if I hadn't killed them, they would have killed me. No offense . . . my life, suckass though it is, means more to me than theirs." He took a deep swig. "I leave the world alone and I figure if someone is dumb enough to put me in their targeting sights, then they deserve what they get."
She shook her head. "On one hand I agree with that, but to take a life . . . I just don't understand how someone can do it without feeling anything. Nykyrian took them down so fast they had no chance whatsoever."
Syn sputtered as anger tore through him. How dare she judge them so. She, who'd lived her precious life full of love and doting while people like them risked their lives to keep her safe.
What's more, she'd lied to him when she told him that they weren't trash. That she wasn't like others--that she saw the good within them no matter what.
And now . . .
She wasn't a bit better than the rest of the maggots in the universe.
Just like his ex-wife and son. Didn't matter how much love you gave them. How good you treated them. How you gave them everything you wish to the gods you'd had, including respect. It didn't matter how much you hated the life you'd been forced against your will to live or how hard you'd try to put the past behind you.
They cursed you for surviving and judged you on a past you despised even more than they did.
He and Nykyrian were the ones who'd lived in hell, and these assholes who had no understanding of the world dared to look down on them for it.
He wanted to hit the bitch for her smug, sanctimonious condemnation.
Thanks for proving me right, princess . . .
Most of all he was angry at himself for believing her when she'd lied to him.
When was he ever going to learn?
He wanted her blood, especially since Nykyrian had almost died while protecting her crybaby ass. "Tell me exactly how many assassins were there today?"
"I don't know. Fifteen. Twenty maybe."
He gave her a snide glare. "Twenty trained assassins against one guy who had his guts lasered last night . . . Lady, I think they had more than a fair shot at surviving and we're damn lucky you and Kip are alive right now. Instead of being upset with him, you should be grateful."
Kiara hadn't thought of it that way. He was right and yet . . . she couldn't get over the cold ruthlessness of what Nykyrian had done. "But I don't understand it. I just don't. Both of you let Pitala go. Twice. Twice!" She reemphasized the word. "Nykyrian mowed them down without even trying to talk them out of it. He just started killing like it was nothing."
Syn set his glass down on the low table in front of her. There was a raw anger to him that she didn't understand. It was like he wanted to lash out and hurt her. "That's because with Pitala, it wasn't personal. You're a paycheck to him and not worth his life. He's a bully and if you let him know you're a bigger asshole willing to cut off his body parts, he will back off and find his credits somewhere else. But with Bredeh, it
She shook her head in denial. "But Nykyrian didn't kill Bredeh. He killed other people. And he didn't try to reason with them first."
"No shit, he didn't try to reason with them. They may not have been Bredeh, but they were his men and he would have killed them had they allowed you two to escape. I assure you, there's no reasoning to be had with men who know it's kill or be killed. And lady, you better get your head out of your spoiled little ass and wake up. Kip didn't kill Bredeh, he killed his brother, who followed the same code of misconduct. Believe me, Kip has spent his entire life trying to avoid doing what he did today."
"What do you mean?"
He gave her a bitter stare that sent a chill down her spine. One that only increased with his next words. "Aksel Bredeh's birth name and Arast's last name are the same." He gave a long pause before he spoke again. "Quiakides."
Her mouth fell open. No, surely not . . .
"What?"
"Nykyrian is their adopted brother. He was raised with them."
She stifled another round of nausea. "Oh my God . . . How could he do such a thing? What kind of monster is he?"
Syn leaned over the arm of the couch, forcing her to lean back. He braced his arms on each side of her, penning her in. She didn't like being cornered.
His eyes blazed and, for a moment, she thought he might actually strike her.
"You think you're so unsullied. How dare you sit there like some high queen dispensing her judgment on us." His alcohol-laced breath fell against her cheek in angry pulses that punctuated each biting word. "Don't waste pity on Arast. If he'd been given the chance, he'd have raped you slowly and in ways you can't even conceive of, then cut you into little pieces and fed you to his dogs. All except your head with your contorted fear permanently twisted on your pretty little face--that he would have sent home to your father as a present, but only after he'd been paid. And that's nice compared to what he'd have done to Nykyrian. To what he's done to Nykyrian in the past."
Kiara stared at him, wondering if he were telling her the truth. She tried to remember the verbal exchanges between Nykyrian and Arast, but all she could see was their brief fight.
"I just don't see how anyone can be so cold."
Syn shoved himself away from her. "And you should be grateful, little girl, to whatever god you worship, that you can say that. In the world we come from, I don't understand how anyone can be anything but cold."
"I'm not a child. Don't talk to me like I am."
He scoffed at her. "No, you're worse. You're an adult who still thinks the world is a beautiful place, filled with people who will help you just for the sake of being nice. Wake up and smell the bloodbath and humility the rest of us have to cope with."
"Don't you dare mock me. I've seen more pain than you can even imagine."
He snorted cruelly. "Yeah, your mother was shot dead in front of you. Boo-hoo. So what? You think you're the only one who ever lived through that? My father was publicly executed for the entire Ichidian Universe to watch. The saddest part of that is I just wish I'd been the one who'd gassed the bastard."
Kiara drew a sharp breath in at what he described. Only the most brutal criminals were publicly executed. "Who was your father?"
His breathing ragged, he gave her a cold, harsh stare. "Idirian Wade."
Kiara shot off the couch as terror filled her. Oh dear God . . . Idirian Wade had been the most feared criminal to ever live. He'd gleefully mutilated and killed hundreds of people. Men, women, children. It didn't matter. He'd cared for nothing and no one. Mothers still used his name to terrify their misbehaving children.
What horrific atrocities would the son of such a man be capable of doing?
Syn curled his lip. "Don't look at me that way, harita. I'm not my father. That look on your face right now takes me to places you don't want me to go, especially while I'm drunk."
Kiara looked away as indignation filled her. How dare he compare her mother's execution with that of an animal like his father. "My mother wasn't a psychotic criminal."
"No. I'm sure she was a wonderful lady who loved you dearly. That she held you when you cried, probably even baked you cookies and gave you hugs and kisses before she sent you off to bed at night," he spat those words mockingly, "and it's a damn shame a decent woman like her died so tragically.
"My mother, whore that she was, abandoned me and my sister to our father so that she could return to her cushy life and pretend we didn't exist while she left us in that house with a man whose name, even though he's been dead for decades, can still make an assassin wet his pants. And if you think his cruelty was reserved for strangers, think again. My sister and I were target practice for him. So don't you dare talk to me about pain. My father wrote the book on it and he rammed it down my throat every day of my childhood until they killed him. And the real kicker is, my life under his demented fist was a lot better than Nykyrian's. At least I was able to hide sometimes from the ones trying to kill me."
His tirade stunned her.
Syn pulled his link out of his pocket. "You want me to call your daddy, baby? Go right ahead. I'll be more than happy to take you to him. But know that Aksel will have his hands on you in a matter of hours. Then you'll be able to talk to me about pain and you'll finally have an idea of what we've endured. You won't live long enough to apologize, but true clarity will be yours before you die."
A loud knock pounded on the door.
Kiara jumped and bit back a scream as Syn leveled his blaster at the door faster than she could blink.
"You wonder why I drink," Syn muttered. "Stay down." He moved to the bar and flicked on the video console that showed Darling on the other side of the door, looking bored.
Syn holstered his blaster.
Crossing the room, he opened the door and hauled Darling into the apartment by the front of his shirt.
"Hey!" Darling snapped, shoving him back. "What the hell are you doing?"
Syn locked the door. "Aksel's after us. You're lucky he didn't shoot you while you were jacking off in the hallway."
"Nice language in front of the lady, bud. Thanks for the image. But at least it explains why Nykyrian was edgier than normal." He looked at her and nodded a greeting.
Kiara had to force herself not to react to the black eye marring the exposed side of Darling's face. His eye was red and the whole cheek swollen. There was blood crusted around his nose, and the center of his upper lip was also scabbed over.
Syn grimaced as he took Darling's chin in his hand to study the bruises. "What the hell happened to you?"
Darling gave him a droll stare. "What do you think?" Syn cursed. "I swear I'm going to kill that bastard someday."
"Get in line."
Syn sighed as he released him. "What was it over this time?"
"Dumbass thinks I'm dating the manwhore of all time."
Syn scowled in incredulous disbelief. "Dagan?"
"Yeah," Darling said with a sarcastic laugh. "You know anyone else who can compete with his record?"
Syn shook his head. "I'd pay good money to see you hook up with him."
"I would too, but then Caillen would have my ass in a sling and I'd be dead so it wouldn't do me any good."
Syn returned for his whisky. "Why would he think that anyway?"
"Private fu--" he broke his word off as he looked at Kiara, "investigator. Caught me at a bar with Caillen while he was trolling for his nightly concubine and I was trying to relax. The photo he took was of Caillen leaning over to whisper something to me and I have to admit, it's pretty damning to anyone unaware of the fact that I don't have the proper anatomy to entice him. Of course, Arturo wouldn't believe it was innocent so here you go." He gestured at his face.
Syn lifted his hair to look at the other side of his face. "Did you see a doctor?"
"Yeah. It'll heal."
"Did your mom say anything?"
"Clean the blood out of the carpet before it sets." Darling cleared his throat. "What could she say? Better me than her."
Kiara was horrified by what he described and, by his face, she could tell he wasn't exaggerating.
"Anyway, Nyk sent me here to get those files you've been working on for him."
Syn's scowl deepened. "Why?"
"As if he'd tell me? I don't even know what I'm getting. All he said was to grab and upload the data since you weren't supposed to be here."
"Then why did you knock?"
"Just in case you were home. I don't want to get hit again and my peripheral vision is seriously compromised right now. So if you copped one of your notorious right hooks at me, I wouldn't see it coming in time to duck."
Syn let out a tired breath. "I'd never hit you, Cruel. I only fantasize about strangling you."
"You're a sick bastard to waste a perfectly good fantasy on that."
Syn laughed. "It's in the safe in my room. The red drive." He met Kiara's eyes. "And on that note, I hate to be rude, but I've got to get her highness"--he sneered the word--"to safety before you know who figures out where I live. Unlike Kip, my address isn't that hard to find. Lock the door and don't forget to reactivate the scanner."
"Done."
Syn held his hand out to her. "Are you staying with us, your queenship?"
Kiara hesitated. She was terrified of them, but they had saved her three times now when her father's people hadn't. No matter what her personal opinions about them, this did seem the safest course of action.
At least as long as she wanted to stay alive.
Please don't let me regret this . . .
Swallowing the lump of fear in her throat, she took his hand, not really sure if what she did was for the best. "For now."
Syn pulled her to her feet and they headed toward the door. He led the way through the building and to his ship. His hand stayed on the grip of his weapon, ready to pull it out in a heartbeat. He kept his head low as if listening and watching.
Something that made her more aware herself and drove home to her exactly how tenuous her safety was. She'd never seen Syn this nervous--not even when they were about to be blown to pieces.
Unwilling to distract him, Kiara didn't speak again until they were safely tucked inside Syn's two-seated fighter and out of the planet's orbit.
"What happened to Darling's face?"
His voice dripped sarcasm as it echoed from the speakers in her helmet. "It got hit. Repeatedly."
-->
