by Linda Ford
Song after song they sang, the freighters booming voices a drumbeat to the melodious harmony in the smaller camp. Luke’s deep voice echoed inside Donna Grace’s heart and found a home there.
The mouth organ changed and the notes of “Amazing Grace,” drifted heavenward.
The two groups sang the stirring song. When it ended, silence followed, such as Donna Grace had never before heard in the camp.
“It’s almost like being in church,” she whispered.
“‘Thou art holy, O thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel,’ Psalm twenty-two, verse three,” the reverend murmured. He edged closer to the fire. “How many of you know the story behind that hymn?” He went on as if someone had answered him. “John Newton spent many years as a slave trader. He had a reputation as one of the most obscene of men. His own captain once chained him up for his behavior. From what I’ve learned, a violent storm threatened to drown them at sea and he called out for the Lord to have mercy. The ship eventually reached shore and Newton began a journey to God. The knowledge that God would forgive a man such as him moved him to write this song.”
Donna Grace realized she gripped Luke’s hand and wondered when she’d reached for him. Slowly she began to withdraw. She did not want him to think she wanted more than they had agreed to. Then she remembered he promised to be her protector and provider on this journey and she stilled her hand.
At that moment, Elena fussed.
“It’s time to feed her.” Donna Grace went to the wagon.
Luke followed, carrying the baby. He cradled Elena in one arm and reached out to assist Donna Grace into the wagon. She unbuttoned her dress to feed the baby.
Luke remained at the back. Shrouded in the darkness of the interior of the wagon, Donna Grace felt at ease with his presence.
“That was a good evening.” Made better, she confessed to herself, because she and Luke had arrived at some sort of peace in their odd relationship.
“It was, wasn’t it? I think I’ll have to add it to my store of good memories.” His soft chuckle warmed her insides.
Right then and there, she decided that sound would be one of her good memories. “I just realized how many of my pleasant memories were made on the Santa Fe Trail.”
“Tell me what you mean.”
“Well, traveling with Papa was a good memory. He let me help him, treated me like I mattered. It was such a contrast to the few weeks we spent with Grandfather. Of course, Grandfather Ramos had made his disapproval of me clear long before Mama died.”
“Your mother must have been a very strong woman to stand up to her father and be loyal to your papa. I can understand where you get your strength.”
“Thank you. I couldn’t ask for a better compliment.”
“It’s more of a fact than a compliment.” She heard the amusement in his voice.
“On the trail was where I shot my first deer.” She laughed at his startled gasp. “Where I learned to drive the wagon and hitch up the mules. Where I encountered my first rattle snake, though I wouldn’t say that was a good memory.”
“I’m guessing you weren’t bitten or you wouldn’t be here.”
“Papa shot the thing.” She shuddered. “I hate snakes.”
“Let’s hope you don’t encounter any on this trip.”
“Amen to that.” She shook aside the thought. “The best thing that happened on the Santa Fe Trail this time, is the birth of little Elena. I wanted her to wait until Santa Fe, but now that she’s here, I couldn’t be happier.”
Luke touched the baby’s head as she lay against Donna Grace’s breast. “Yes, she is the best thing that ever happened on the trail.”
“You must have lots of good memories of the trail, too. Tell me about them.” She wouldn’t come right out and admit it, but she wasn’t anxious for him to leave.
He didn’t answer for a moment and when he did, his voice had deepened as if he knew only regret. “I joined Warren in freighting simply to forget. So I mostly didn’t take note of anything except the next task ahead of me. The only thing that mattered was getting the wagons to Santa Fe, and then getting back and doing it again.”
She edged forward so she could reach out and touch him.
He continued, his voice growing stronger. “Then I began to notice things. Like the way the sunsets painted the entire sky red, or pink or orange, or a whole cast of colors. I began to admire the buffalo and the deer.” He chuckled softly. “I think our friend, the naturalist, helped me to see nature and wildlife in a new way. I’d have to say spending a trip with Dusty Leaf was a very good memory.”
“I’m glad.”
Elena snuffled with contentment, asleep in the crook of Donna Grace’s arm.
Luke pressed his hand over Donna Grace’s. “This trip is the best I’ve ever had.”
She would not ask why. She wanted him to say it was because of her, yet feared it would be some other reason. Likely Elena. Not that she didn’t want him to think the baby was as precious as Donna Grace did.
“Aren’t you going to ask why?” His low voice tugged at her resistance.
She tugged right back. “I don’t think so.”
He laughed low in his throat. “I know why.”
She rocked her head back and forth, not caring whether or not he could see her in the duskiness of the wagon interior.
He continued. “You want to be the reason, but you don’t think you deserve to be.”
She would not indicate whether or not she agreed.
“Donna Grace, having you here as my wife has made this the very best trip.”
Her throat closed off so she couldn’t answer for a second. Then she said the first thing that sprang to her mind. “You might change your mind before the trip is over.”
“Or I might not.”
More than half-expecting he would be annoyed, she was surprised to hear the amusement in his voice.
Mary Mae called, “Good night, Donna Grace.”
Donna Grace hadn’t realized how late it had grown and withdrew into the wagon. “Good night, Mary Mae. Good night, Luke.”
“Goodnight Donna Grace and Elena Rose.” Amusement and pleasure filled his words.
Elena slept after her feeding and remained asleep as everyone went to bed. Donna Grace had opted to sleep in the wagon where she wouldn’t disturb Mary Mae, and the baby could rest safely in the little nest she had fashioned for her.
Sleep had claimed her in its gentle embrace when crying jerked her awake. “Hush, baby. Hush.” She pulled Elena to her breast and fed her. Again the baby slept. This being a mother wasn’t so bad.
Elena wakened again before morning.
“You’re a hungry little one tonight.” Elena ate readily enough, but instead of going back to sleep, continued to fuss. “You’ll have the whole camp awake.” Donna Grace rocked as best she could in the narrow space, but Elena would not settle.
Luke whispered from the doorway. “Has she eaten?”
“Yes.”
“Hang on a minute.” There came the sound of wood being placed cautiously on the fire and then small flames made it possible to see. Luke returned. “Give her to me and I’ll walk her.”
“But you need your sleep.” The men had put in long hours getting the wagons through the mud.
“So do you, and as the father I am responsible to help care for her.”
She couldn’t remind him he was only pretending to be Elena’s father for fear someone would overhear her. “Very well.” She swaddled the baby and handed her to Luke.
His footsteps thudded away and he could be heard making soothing sounds. The baby quieted.
Donna Grace lay back. Luke wanted to help, and she reluctantly admitted she didn’t mind having someone take a turn with the baby. But she wasn’t going to let herself get used to it. If she needed help, she would waken Mary Mae. She smiled at the thought. Her sister slept soundly enough to make waking her a bit of a challenge.
Later, as Luke hitched up the mules, Donna Grace stood by w
atching. “Well, Old Achilles,” she muttered to the mule. “You thought to do me harm, but you missed.”
The animal lifted his nose and brayed.
Luke finished with the animals, then came to help Donna Grace up to the seat.
She’d had quite enough of being in the back of the wagon alone and much preferred Luke’s company.
She waited for him to climb up beside her and head down the trail to ask a question that burned her tongue since she’d spoken to the mule. “Did you sell this team of mules to my papa?”
“I did.”
“Why would you sell him Old Achilles when you know what sort of animal he is?” Selling a cranky, hard to handle animal didn’t match the picture that steadily developed in her mind of Luke. An honest, thoughtful, caring man.
“Your father knew exactly what the mule is like, but he wanted him for the very same reason I keep him. Old Achilles can out-pull any other mule, and he’ll do it once he’s in harness. He just likes to exert a little independence once in a while.”
“I see.” She smiled at the backend of the mule in question. “Can’t help but admire an attitude like that.”
Luke gave his low-throated chuckle. “Kind of thought you might feel that way.”
She slanted him a look meant to be scolding, but at the way his eyes danced, she couldn’t help but laugh.
Elena wakened and shuffled. “Time for her to eat.” Donna Grace had grown more adept at feeding the baby with a cotton blanket to provide modesty.
The baby slept again. “She’s such a good little thing,” Donna Grace said.
“Let’s hope she remains that way, and doesn’t grow into a head-strong young lady.”
Donna Grace decided to ignore how he talked like he would be there when Elena grew older, and instead, concentrated on the other part of what Luke said. “I hope she grows up to be strong and independent.”
“Like her mother. I guess that would be okay.”
“Oh, thanks for such high praise.” She drew herself up and tried to look huffy.
All he did was chuckle softly. Little did he know how that sound affected her. Making her want to forget her own plans and follow him blindly.
She looked away, pretending an interest in the passing scenery, even though there was nothing to see but yellowed grass and blue sky.
Somehow—and really soon—she must learn to steel herself against the way her heart tipped toward him when he chuckled.
Thankfully, they soon stopped for the noon break, and Luke was busy with the animals and checking on the freight wagons. While the men rested, Donna Grace and the others checked the drying meat that had been hung on the sides of the wagons. Because of the recent rain and the fact they were among the first wagons on the trail, the meat hadn’t gathered more than a sprinkling of dust.
They resumed their travels. The sun beat down upon them. For the most part, Elena slept.
But after the noon break, she cried and refused to settle even after she’d nursed. Donna Grace put her to her shoulder and patted her back. Still she fussed.
“Maybe it’s something I ate.”
“Could that be the problem?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never had a baby before.” Frustration made her words sharp.
“I’ll take her.”
“You’re driving the wagon. What if Old Achilles decides to have a temper tantrum?”
“Like I told you, he’s fine in harness.” Luke shifted the reins to one hand and held out his arm for the baby.
What harm would it do? Donna Grace shifted the baby to him.
“There you go, little one.” As he talked to her, Elena focused on his face, her mouth a perfect little rose. “You’re snug and safe in your papa’s arms. Isn’t that a good place to be?”
Donna Grace leaned against Luke’s arm, wanting to enjoy this moment and maybe even be a part of it.
Elena seemed mesmerized by the sound of his voice.
“That’s a girl. You sit back and enjoy the trip.”
Elena wrinkled up her face, ready to cry again.
Luke sang and Elena calmed.
The sound of Luke’s voice soothed Elena’s mother as well.
He was making it extremely difficult to imagine a future without him.
Buck must have been satisfied with the progress they’d made, or else he liked the spot he’d chosen for their camp, as he called for them to stop before dark.
Donna Grace and the other ladies set about making good use of the time to prepare more food. Not only for the cold meal they would consume at noon the next day. They had all learned to have a little ahead in case rain kept them from cooking.
Donna Grace straightened from tending the pot of beans intended to last them several meals. A movement past the wagon caught her attention. She hurried around in time to see a man duck out of sight. Had he been watching her? Perhaps he was one of the freighters looking for Warren or Luke and seeing they weren’t there, had left without making himself known to the women.
She thought she would recognize each of the teamsters, but maybe not. Buck had gone out of his way to keep the women and the freighters away from each other. She hadn’t asked why, but assumed Buck might consider the behavior and language of the teamsters to be unsuitable for mixed company. Donna Grace had heard enough of the language ringing through the air to agree with him.
She returned to her task, but twice more that evening she thought she saw the same man lurking about. After her encounter with the ruffians at the beginning of their journey, she had no desire to run into a stranger while on her own, and so she stayed close to the camp. Afraid her baby might be in danger, she kept a close eye on her, too.
Her nervousness had grown obvious enough for Luke to take her aside. “You don’t need to constantly guard Elena. Anyone in our camp will watch her if you want to go for a walk.”
“I know.”
“Then come with me. I want to show you something.”
For several seconds she hesitated. But she needed to learn to trust Elena was safe even when she was out of sight, so she asked Mary Mae to take care of the baby, and reluctantly went with Luke. It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy his company, but her nerves were on edge after seeing that man skulking about.
Luke pulled Donna Grace’s arm around his as they left the circle of the wagons and walked in the lengthening shadows. She pulled him to a halt as they passed the cluster of teamsters. One played a mouth organ and two did a little jig, but it was the man lounging against the wheel of a nearby wagon that she studied.
“I don’t recall seeing that man here before.” She pointed to the one she meant. “And the one beside him. Isn’t the tall one the man we saw at Council Grove? Why is he here?” What was it about him that seemed so familiar?
13
Luke knew who she meant. The two men who had joined the wagon train after Elena’s birth. “They were with the trappers, but had some sort of disagreement so they decided to go to Santa Fe instead.” The pair made his nerves twitch. He’d seen them looking into wagons that were no business of theirs, and had watched the taller one wander past the smaller camp. Luke did not care for the way the man eyed the women. He’d alerted Buck and Gil who both promised to keep an eye on the pair.
“Let’s move on.” He guided Donna Grace away from the wagons to the crest of a little hill. “Look.” He pointed to the north.
She squinted. “Buffalo! It’s the first time I’ve seen them on this trip.” With a happy laugh she sank to the ground and watched them. “When we came up the trail with Papa, we saw thousands of them run by us. The pots and pans rattled as the ground shook.”
He sat beside her. It was pleasant to have her alone for a little time. Without anyone else around to overhear their conversation, he’d be able to speak more freely. He patted his breast pocket where the piece of paper lay, then turned his attention back to the buffalo.
“They are fascinating creatures. Did you know a buffalo’s hump is composed of muscle, supported
by long vertebrae? It allows the animal to use its head to plow through snow.”
“More information from your naturalist friend?” Teasing flashed in her eyes.
He laughed. “I enjoyed learning things from the man.”
“I gathered that.” Her gaze returned to the herd. At some unseen signal, or perhaps a threat of danger, the herd thundered away.
They watched until the animals disappeared from sight, but Donna Grace showed no indication she wanted to return to the camp and Luke was content to enjoy a few quiet moments in her company. He again patted his breast pocket where he had put the letter from his friend in California. What would Donna Grace say if he told her he was considering going there and starting a ranch?
Since the birth of Elena Rose, the appeal of a home and family had grown steadily. Before he could mention it, Donna Grace spoke.
“There’s only one thing about my so-called marriage to Melvin I don’t regret.”
“Elena Rose?”
Her gaze stayed in the distant horizon. “That’s right. I’ve been trying to understand why he would pretend to marry me when he was not in a position to do so.”
Luke’s fists bunched at his sides. Bad enough to do that to Donna Grace, but then to turn his back on his own flesh and blood. It made Luke’s insides boil. And why Mr. Clark had not defended his daughter’s honor truly baffled Luke.
“How could he so carelessly leave me with child, but without a husband?” She rocked her head back and forth.
Luke wanted to comfort her, but he also wanted her to say more about this Melvin character. He wanted to understand why she had married him.
“I think I am beginning to realize why. Melvin often talked about Papa’s success on the trail. He’d heard somewhere that men could make thousands of dollars carrying freight back and forth.”
He nodded. “There’s good money to be made if everything goes well. Just as much to be lost if a wagon has to be abandoned, or a load is lost in a river crossing.”
Her attention returned to the distance as if she saw her past. “I think Melvin thought Papa was rich and he hoped he could wrangle his way into Papa’s good graces and become a partner.” Her attempt at a laugh sounded more like a wail. “Not that I can see him ever actually coming on this trip. He liked his comfort too well for that.”
