by Liz Lee
She’d been stupid before. He’d never even pretended to be about forever. But she’d thought…she didn’t know. He was so at home with his family and she’d wanted that. She’d wanted him.
And the minute she’d let him know, swoosh, and away he went.
Scamp sat at her feet snoring and she smiled. He’d known how upset she was and been by her side since they returned to the apartment.
Great. At least the dog loved her.
She looked down at the papers and closed her eyes. She needed one of the hugs he so easily gave. But she didn’t dare ask. Didn’t dare change the rules now that she’d made them so perfectly clear.
As if he could read her thoughts David stepped beside her, his hands splayed on the breakfast bar beside her. “You okay?”
Like he really cared. He was good at sounding sincere. She shrugged, pushed the papers away. “There’s nothing here, David. Nothing.”
“You’re too close to it right now. Too close to the emotion. You can look again tomorrow.”
“And it will still be the same.”
“Maybe. Maybe not.”
She closed her eyes and let his spicy scent soothe her. “I want to wake up and find this is all a nightmare.”
He didn’t say anything and she was glad because what could he say to that impossible wish?
“You ate the cake.” He looked at the crumbs left on her napkin and she shrugged.
“I tried to resist, but I couldn’t do it.”
“I understand.”
She looked at him and laughed half-heartedly. “Sure you do.” Like he knew anything at all about temptation. He tempted. He didn’t give in.
“No seriously.”
She just shook her head and tried to smile. “You’re being nice. Stop it.”
“Come on, Lil. You didn’t say anything at all about me not being nice.”
She laughed glad the tension from earlier was finally broken. Maybe they could do this. Maybe they could be friends.
If she could just get past her physical reaction to him any time he was anywhere near her. “Go away, Satan.”
“I should be offended.” But he wasn’t. She could tell by his easy smile.
“You’ve never been one to offend easily.”
“I could’ve challenged you to Scrabble. Now that would’ve been temptation.”
She laughed because maybe that was the answer. Maybe finding humor in their attraction was the way she could be with him all the time and stay sane. She lifted the next paper off the stack and waved it at him. “Go away. I’ve got clues to look for.”
“You got it, Sherlock,” he laughed as he started to walk down the hall to his bedroom.
David forced himself to walk away. What he wanted to do was take her in his arms and finish what they’d started in the parking lot. But that wasn’t going to happen. Not yet anyway. He’d made a promise and he wasn’t going to break it. She thought he was Satan? She had no idea what she was doing to him.
When the phone rang, he walked back into the kitchen, grabbed the phone on the third ring without checking caller ID.
“David.” At the sound of Ryan’s voice, he knew something in the case had shifted.
“What’s up?”
Lil moved to the chair next to him and waited, concern written across her face.
“They found the Hernandez father’s body outside a Juarez cemetery tonight.”
David couldn’t hold back a curse, and Ryan continued. “Looks like the family might’ve been running a rescue service for some of the Degas girls.”
Ah hell.
“So this was personal?”
“Yeah. Real personal.”
Damn. “The family have any luck rescuing?”
“Looks like maybe they did.”
“Why didn’t they get help? ”
“They did. They sent Rafe to Lil and she called you. I don’t know how they knew, but they did. And if they knew, Degas could soon, too. Be careful, David. Things just got a hell of a lot more dangerous.”
“What?” Lil didn’t wait for David to tell her. The minute he hung up the phone she asked the question. And when she saw his face, she knew. “Miguel…”
David shook his head. “No, no. Not Miguel. Miguel’s father. They found his body in Juarez. At a cemetery there.”
“Oh no.” Lil closed her eyes and pushed the papers away suddenly nauseous. “If he’s dead, Miguel and Solidad…”
David started to touch her but pulled back before his hand touched her skin. “No, Lil. You can’t let yourself think that. Yes, it’s a possibility, but Rafe said his dad wasn’t there. Neither was Solidad.”
“But his father was killed by Degas.”
David nodded and Rafe’s story replayed itself in Lil’s mind as David explained what the family had been involved in. Miguel was with Degas now. They might be too late.
She wiped away a tear and David’s curse rang through the kitchen as he pulled her to him. She should push him away, but she couldn’t. Not now. Instead she buried her face in his chest and let him hold her and tell her it was okay even though she knew it was a lie.
When she could finally think straight, she did push away. And then she picked up the papers off the breakfast bar. “The answers have to be here somewhere, David.”
He nodded, but for the first time he looked skeptical. And that just made her angry.
“You were right. Miguel sent Rafe to me for a reason. He had to know something.”
She’d hold on to that hope as long as she could because to do anything else was to accept defeat, and she couldn’t do that. Not when there was a chance Miguel and Solidad were alive.
Chapter Four
Lil let herself in the apartment and tried not to think about the hell the school day had been. The police had questioned everyone in the class, including her, and she’d lied to them all when they asked if she knew anything.
The students were understandably on edge. She’d refused to carry David’s gun. And the whole way home, she’d wondered about the wisdom of that.
She looked out the front window as she clicked the door lock into place and shivered. It felt like someone was watching her every move. But the street outside was empty.
All day she’d looked for something, anything that would explain where Solidad and Miguel might be. But just as with the papers, she’d struck out.
She set her school bag on the breakfast bar and laughed when Scamp nudged his empty food bowl twice. Silly dog.
Friday’s were always tough, but this was different. She’d never been so exhausted. So completely wilted.
She needed a shower and then some food and some wine. Anything to relax.
Why did she feel so dirty? She was helping. Telling the police what she knew would have been wrong and dangerous.
She slid out of her clothes, turned on the hot water and stepped under the spray.
No, telling the detective about Rafe Hernandez and what the little boy had told her would’ve destroyed everything she was supposed to be doing.
But God it was hard. She hated feeling powerless. She always had. A long time ago she’d learned to take charge of her life. To be in control. But control was impossible when she was surrounded by secrets. And David.
She hit the shower radio, turned it up to full blast and tried to forget everything as she sang along with the music.
David let himself in the apartment and smiled when he saw Scamp’s full food bowl and Lil’s bag on the breakfast bar.
The shower radio was blasting and Lil’s off-tuned voice sang along to the classic rock.
He smiled as an image of naked, wet Lil filled his memory.
Damn she was fine. And feisty. And fun.
And off limits.
He tossed Scamp a dog treat and cut a piece of pound cake as he tried not to think about Lil in his shower, in his bedroom, in his bed.
He was a fool for doing this. A fool.
It was too dangerous in more ways than one.
The shower stopped and he bit into the cake. Tried not to imagine Lil climbing out of the shower, toweling off.
Damn.
He tossed a bit of the cake to Scamp and laughed as the dog downed it in one bite.
If he walked in the bedroom right now, he could have her. He was sure of it. But it wouldn’t be right. Not for either of them.
He looked down at the papers sitting on the bar. Focused on them instead of imagining Lil and the full-sized white towels his mother’d brought over a month ago.
Lil was right. There was nothing of help in these papers. Just a bunch of domesticated dreams for Solidad and dreams of a bigger life for Miguel.
He heard the drawers opening and closing and forced himself to continue eating the cake, even though he couldn’t really taste it.
No way was he going in there. No way.
He shoved the papers in her school bag and waited until she finally opened the door.
She jumped when she saw him. “Oh. David. I didn’t know….”
And God help him he couldn’t stop himself. “You look good enough to eat little Lil.”
She rolled her eyes and unwrapped the towel from around her head. Her wet hair hung down past her shoulders. He tried not to think about how she’d respond if he kissed her clean neck softly.
How she’d moan his name and maybe ask for more than a simple kiss.
When she stepped closer he almost laughed. She’d never get so close if she knew what he was thinking.
She reached forward, grabbed a bite of the cake on his plate and popped it in her mouth.
“Good stuff, David. Excellent really.”
She was so close he could smell her. A slight turn of his head, and he could claim the kiss he wanted. And then she’d be out the door and on her own.
He pushed away from the breakfast bar and stood by the fridge. “The football game’s in a couple hours. I figured we’d eat then head on over.”
She turned away from him. “You can’t possibly think I’m going to the game. I can’t. There’s no way.”
He poured her a glass of wine and explained why they had no choice.
“We have to. It’s the perfect place to look for answers.”
“A football game. Please.” Completely unconvinced, he slid the wine glass toward her.
“Everyone goes to the games Friday nights. We can observe. See what’s out of place. Who’s there. Who’s not.”
She shook her head. “Solidad and Miguel are not. We’re supposed to be looking for them.”
She’d understand soon enough. “How often did they go to the games?”
Lil shrugged and sipped her wine. “Solidad not often. She partied and played. Went back and forth across the border. Loved the beach. She only went to the games if she was dating one of the guys. Miguel was always there.”
Interesting. “He doesn’t play?”
She shook her head. Smiled sadly. “No. He runs cross country. Plays soccer. He’s been scouted. Between his grades and soccer, he would have….”
She shook her head and looked away.
He couldn’t let her sit there miserable, thinking the worst.
“Hey.” He wrapped her hand with his. “None of that. He’s a good kid. Smart and strong. He knew to send his brother to you.”
She looked down at his hand but didn’t move away. Instead she met his eyes and frowned as she spoke. “What good did it do?”
He stood and wrapped his arms around her wishing like hell he could comfort her. Wishing he didn’t want her so badly it hurt. Wishing he could just be a friend and knowing that was impossible.
“We’ll go to the game. Observation’s our biggest tool right now.”
She nodded against his shoulder. “I’ll go, but I’m telling you right now, everything will be different. We won’t learn anything there.”
She could be right, but there was always the chance she wasn’t. “You might be surprised, Lil. You might be surprised.
He was right. Nothing was different. The band played, the cheerleaders cheered. The fans screamed and dads shook their fists as they yelled at the refs and coaches.
It was like the Hernandez family and several other young girls weren’t missing at all.
David handed her a diet soda and she said, “You were right.”
He smiled. “Thanks Babe. You just made my night.”
She refused to be riled, and he continued. “Watch. Look for incongruities, for patterns or breaks in them. When we get home we’ll talk.”
She didn’t want to wait. “Why not talk now?”
He leaned into her neck, his breath tickling her ear, causing goosebumps to erupt across her skin as he whispered. “Because now would be weird. Why would you be telling me what I can see?”
Well, duh. She tried not to blush as she pulled away. “That makes sense.”
She focused on his sister cheering on the sidelines, anything to get her mind off the way her body reacted to him.
They might be in public, but she couldn’t handle it. Not now.
Not when she had to be focused, intensely focused, on her surroundings. Not her body or his.
So when Nancy Valdez, the teacher from across the hall and her good friend, sat down next to her, she couldn’t help but be relieved. Even when she saw Nancy’s date, Stan Anderson. The kids had named him Creepy Counselor and she tended to agree.
Ten years older than Lil, Nancy had been a sounding board since Lil had started teaching at the high school. But they hadn’t talked about Miguel. Lil wasn’t sure she could say the words now.
Nancy hugged her softly. “I’m sorry, Lil. I know he was special.”
Lil felt the tears well in her eyes, felt her stomach tie itself in knots.
“He’s out there somewhere, Nancy. I just know it. He…” What could she say? She couldn’t tell Nancy the truth.
“These kids are always disappearing. Even the good ones.” Stan’s voice sounded as negative as the sneer on his face, and Lil tried to block it out as Nancy patted her shoulder.
“You know Miguel was different, Stan.”
Nancy’s reprimand made little impact on Stan’s lack of caring. Instead he brushed the words off and shrugged.
Lil tried to focus on how ridiculous he looked in the mint green Hawaiian shirt rather than on the viciousness of his words.
“I know he and his sister are gone and their father was found dead in a Juarez cemetery. He might’ve been different, but we can’t save them all.” He looked down at Lil. “You’ve been here long enough to know that, Lil.”
“Have some respect, Stan.” Nancy’s voice held an icy edge. “Besides, my kids have been talking all day about some man named Degas.” She looked over at David. “You ever heard of Degas, David?”
David shrugged, but Lil didn’t miss the way his eyes slightly narrowed. “Who hasn’t?”
“He’s the boogey man,” Stan answered even though he hadn’t been asked. “The devil. A complete figment of these people’s imaginations, just like their ghosts and Brujas.”
She couldn’t just let it go. Lil knew she should, but she couldn’t. “I don’t know. The news is filled with stories of girls disappearing.”
David gripped her hand in his and she understood his silent message. She bit her lip to keep from saying more.
But Stan wasn’t done. “This problem is nothing new. It’s surprising more don’t drop out.”
Drop out. That’s just what Degas wanted people to believe. And it was working.
Beside her Nancy tried to defend Miguel and Lil was glad. Because she couldn’t say anything without risking trouble. She focused on the game, on trying to see what was missing other than Miguel. Other than the hundred girls who’d dropped off the face of the planet only to have people explain their disappearances away as if they were nothing.
“Solidad isn’t a drop out and neither is Miguel,” Nancy said. “Their father is dead.”
Stan shrugged in his silly green shirt. “Probably because of
something Solidad did. She was mixed up with some bad people.” He bent forward so he could address Lil. “I know you had high hopes for her brother….”
“Have.” Lil couldn’t let him pretend Miguel was dead. Not yet. Unless…she looked closer at Stan and wondered. Could he be the connection? He seemed awfully sure of himself.
Stan shrugged away her insistence. “Have then. But Solidad Hernandez made friends with the wrong kinds of people on both sides of the border.”
Interesting that Stan knew that. Was David listening? What did he think?
Lil looked out onto the field and feigned excitement as the rest of the crowd roared when the team scored their first touchdown.
When Nancy suggested a quick bathroom break, Lil jumped at the opportunity. A few minutes later they were passing long lines at the concession stands. The cotton candy, popcorn and nacho cheese combined scents clenched in Lil’s stomach as Nancy asked her if she wanted a diet soda.
“No,” Lil said. They were in the back of a line filled with younger kids, kids who weren’t in either of their classes yet. Kids who didn’t know Stan. And suddenly Lil couldn’t stand it anymore. She had to know.
“Why do you go out with him? He’s so rude.”
Nancy blew out an exasperated breath as the boy in front of them took out one of his iPod earbuds to order his drink, hotdog and french fries. “He’s not so bad. He wants better for the kids. He’s just realized he can’t change the world and it’s left him a little bitter.”
Bitter. Right. Lil could think of a thousand better words to describe Stan’s attitude. But she didn’t want to hurt Nancy’s feelings. She’d just wait until later. Maybe David knew something more.
Nancy ordered her drink and they started back into the stands. On the way they passed Mr. Miller with a distraught looking teenaged boy, one of Miguel’s friends, Lil thought his name was José, and a police officer.
It quickly became apparent Mr. Miller was stopping the policeman from arresting the student for public intoxication. The heavy frown on the policeman’s face spoke volumes, as did the boy’s sighed “Ah man, do you gotta?” when Mr. Miller pulled out a cell phone to call the boy’s parents.
