by Liz Lee
She dropped some bread in the toaster and poured them both tea, grabbed the strawberry jelly and told herself again that everything would be fine.
He teased her about being naked under the robe. She teased him about liking it. He threatened to lift her onto the breakfast bar and take her right there in the kitchen and she thought about daring him to do just that, but her stomach growled and she decided they’d had enough sex for the moment. Food was essential.
He slid her omelet onto her plate and sat across from her. Told her to go ahead and eat.
She said she’d wait for him but he said hers would be cold, so she dug in and it was wonderful.
A few bites later, he sat next to her, dug into his own omelet.
He kept looking at her face and she knew he saw the bruise and getting angry and they were going to lose this peace.
Peace brought on by the long, hot shower she’d taken upon entering the apartment and then the hours of making love. Of just being together.
She didn’t want to lose it.
She lifted her fork. “It’s good.” He stole a piece of her toast but she didn’t care.
If it took teasing about food, she’d do it all day.
Outside dawn broke slowly. First the stars disappeared and then they reappeared along with the first tiny pieces of pink sky.
The peace would end soon. In a few hours Ryan would stop by or Detective Ortiz would call for them. She wasn’t going to school. She hadn’t called in. Hadn’t even thought about it. But she couldn’t go. Not today. She wondered if the building was even open.
“I’m taking the day off.”
He drank some of the tea, nodded. “The school’s probably closed. With Nancy and Miller being involved, there’s no telling when things will get back to normal.”
Normal. She didn’t think it was possible.
“I just thought you might want to know.” She wanted to lighten up the conversation. Bring back the fun. “Since I’ll be here all day and all, I thought maybe you could take my mind off things.”
He pushed his plate to the side, sent her a look that curled her toes and made her insides shiver. “I’m a distraction of sorts, huh?”
“Major, major distraction,” she teased.
And then he was holding her, taking her mouth with his, lifting her onto the breakfast bar, pushing the robe to the side and sinking hard and full into her and she didn’t think about distractions again for a very long time.
Back in bed, David watched sunlight break through the blinds and knew the current nightmare of the real world would intrude today. Probably as soon as he turned on the phone.
Lil slept soundly again, and he was glad he could give her this if nothing else.
If he didn’t turn on the phone soon, Ryan would probably show up on the doorstep unannounced. He’d done it often enough in the past. If he did it today, David figured he’d beat the hell out of the man. Besides there were worse calls than Ryan’s to expect. His mother would demand to speak to him and he wasn’t sure he was ready for that.
Short of disappearing, he couldn’t avoid it though. And he wasn’t willing to disappear. He wasn’t willing to leave Lil yet either. Not while she needed him.
He climbed out of the bed, walked into the kitchen and flipped on the answering machine, the phone and the coffee pot. Then he set about cleaning up the mess he and Lil had made making love on the kitchen counter.
A piece of toast was stuck strawberry jelly side up to his floor and as he picked it up, he figured his days of eating strawberry jelly without a hard-on were pretty much over.
Damn she was amazing.
They hadn’t even made it to the mousse. Just thinking about what she might do with the chocolate delicacy had his mind back in the bedroom where she lay naked and asleep and perfectly willing to follow him into whatever sexual fantasy might take his mind off the current mess of a situation.
The phone rang and he picked it up before it could wake her.
A strange voice asked for Lil and he told the speaker she was asleep, but at the same time Lil walked into the kitchen looking sexy as hell and disheveled and satisfied. Purely satisfied.
She held out her hand for the phone, pointed to the floor, told him he missed a spot of strawberry jelly.
Her smile disappeared when she said hello. And then again, hello, only this time she added mother.
David frowned at the way she tensed. At her no. No. No Mother. Fine then. I’ll be here. I’m not leaving. See you. Okay. Goodbye.
She hung up the phone and sighed. “I guess we made CNN.”
Figures. “Pretty hot stuff, huh?”
She shrugged and he wanted to hold her, make her understand that mothers and daughters didn’t have to be so distant. But what the hell did he know about it?
“She’s in Dallas. She’ll be here later today.”
Later today. He had Lil for at least one more day. “She’s worried. It’s normal.”
Lil closed her eyes and shook her head. “Nothing about my mother is normal, but it doesn’t matter. Let’s talk about something else.”
She tossed Scamp a doggy treat shaped like a purse then stretched her arms over her head, the robe gapping in front to give him full view of everything.
“I don’t think,” she said as she crossed the kitchen, touched her lips to his, “I’ll ever be able to look at the breakfast bar the same way. How in the heck am I ever going to be able to eat again?”
He laughed, nuzzled her chin. “I bet you’ll find a way.”
Beside them the phone rang shrilly and she frowned. “We could just ignore it.”
“Put off ‘til tomorrow.”
“Put off forever. But I guess that’s not happening.” They both listened as the machine picked up. Listened as Ryan spoke. Told him he’d be there around noon.
They looked at the clock on the wall. The one next to his brother’s boot camp graduation photo. “Thirty minutes,” she said and he repeated it.
Thirty minutes.
Damn.
She took his hands in hers. Met his eyes. “It doesn’t have to be over, you know.”
She was right and yet, “It won’t be over, but it will be different.”
Maybe different was their key. He didn’t know. He didn’t know so much right now.
“Are you going to call your mother?” Her voice was soft and full of sympathy and he knew she couldn’t help the question. It’s who she was.
“Not yet. I can’t.”
I can’t make him a coward. He knew it and knew it didn’t matter.
“Maybe you could call and check on Anna,” she said trying to find his answers.
But he couldn’t do that either. Because if he called to talk to Anna, he’d have to talk to his mother, and he couldn’t. Not yet.
Beside them, his baby sister’s butterfly picture floated off the front of the fridge, hit the floor and stuck to the tiny splat of strawberry jelly still serving as a reminder of their early morning.
He picked it up, brushed off the jelly and stuck it back under a red, white and blue magnet calling for Patriot Pride. His brother had given it to him after basic training in San Antonio.
He thought about the day Isabel had drawn it, how sad they’d all been after his father’s funeral.
Lil was right about that. Arturo Degas might have fathered him, but he wasn’t his father.
He smoothed a curled corner of the photo and wondered if Isabel was okay now. If she’d be trying to comfort his mother. That’s what Isabel did. She was the baby of the family, but she was the soother too. She’d know their mother was hurting.
Lil covered his hand with hers and he smiled at how they blended against the white of his fridge. His brown skin, a scarred knuckle, her soft white skin. They were good together. Amazingly good.
“I better go get changed.”
He looked down at her looking up at him, worry etched on her face. “I’ll be okay Lil.”
She nodded solemnly. “I know. We’ll bo
th be okay.”
And then she disappeared into the bedroom and he figured she was right. They would both be okay. If they survived their mothers.
Thirty minutes later Lil thought she’d like to kill Ryan Jamison.
The agent sat in the middle seat of David’s couch full of smiles and good will and smarmy charm and she wanted to tell him to get the hell out of their house, but that was crazy because it wasn’t their house. It was David’s.
Even Scamp growled at the agent, as if he instinctively knew this was a bad, bad man.
“You two are quite the team. I know several people back in Washington would be interested in meeting you both.”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m not going to Washington.”
David shrugged. “You’ll have to do the honors for us.”
Ryan didn’t seem to mind the idea and Lil knew it’s what he’d been working for all along.
The agent told them Mr. Miller was dead. Shot outside his front door. His girls safe inside with their nanny. The news just left her empty. What a waste.
Then he told them the bear outside her classroom was Solidad’s. Taken from the home and dropped at her door to lure her out. Stan wasn’t involved at all. And neither really was Nancy. Not with their case. She’d been caught up playing both sides, trying to save girls still among the missing.
But Lil still didn’t understand how it had all unraveled. She asked and Ryan was only too happy to explain.
As he did, her anger mounted.
The Hernandez family knew David was working with the feds. And once they’d been taken everything fell into place.
But for that to happen Ryan had to have known about Degas. About his connection to David.
Beside her David listened too. And when Ryan was done, he stood, held out his hand. Told him he was glad they never had to do business again.
They closed the door behind the agent and David looked at her, his eyes lost. “He knew. He set the whole thing up.”
And suddenly Lil’s anger evaporated. She stepped forward. “Who cares, David? So what if he knows anything? We’re together because of it.”
David didn’t answer and she looked away because his silence said maybe they weren’t together after all.
His mother didn’t call. She didn’t leave a message. She didn’t beg him to pick up the phone. She just showed up on his doorstep demanding he let her in.
Her small voice sounded outside the door and David knew he didn’t have much of a choice. “You let me in mi hijo. You let me in right now.”
Lil looked at him. “You want me to tell her you’re not here?” She whispered and he shook his head.
“Nah. She’ll just call you a liar and come in anyway.” He could hear that insistence in her voice.
“Pretty determined, huh?”
He smiled sadly. “Determined’s a good word for it.”
“Sounds like a certain man I know.”
She was trying to make him feel better and it was working. But he couldn’t keep depending on her for that.
As if reading his mind, she kissed his cheek. Told him she was going to pick up some stuff from her house and left as his mother walked in.
He loved his mother and always would, but he didn’t want to talk to her about this.
Degas had spoken the truth. But it didn’t have to matter.
His mother came to him, asked him to sit. To listen. And he was trapped.
The story she told was short and sad. She didn’t like to talk about that time. About being kicked out of her home for being pregnant. About stupid choices and having to live with them forever. But then the story changed. It was a story of love and fidelity and a wonderful man who’d taken them both in and changed her life.
The last part he knew. The first he’d guessed at over the years. She’d never mentioned her parents, never brought them up at holidays or birthdays and he’d always sensed the truth.
The only thing he hadn’t known was his father’s name. He wished he didn’t know now, but if that were the case, Degas wouldn’t be dead. And he wasn’t sorry for that. As cold as it might be, the man was a monster. He’d earned his title.
“I’m sorry, Mamà. Sorry for the grief you’ve born.”
She waved his words away. “I’m the one who’s sorry. Sorry I never told you the entire truth. I didn’t know for sure. No one knew who Degas was. It’s not an unusual name. When I knew him he was uncommonly mean, though. He was horrible to me. To everyone. When I found out I was pregnant, I knew I had to leave. He tried to stop me, would’ve killed me, I think, if not for you. I stole a car to get away. He followed me. I watched his car collide with a tree. I prayed he was dead. I know that’s evil, but it’s true. I wish he would’ve died then instead of living his horrible life. Instead of hurting so many people.”
He thought about the man he’d spoken to so briefly. About the acts he’d committed. “You’re not evil, Mamà. And he is dead now. It’s over.”
His mother trembled beside him on the couch as she cried tears from her youth. “I’ve hurt you.”
He thought about lying. Saying he didn’t hurt, but she’d never believe it. “Hurt heals. We’ll be okay. We’ll all be okay.”
When she left, he was alone in the apartment with Scamp and memories of Lil.
He wondered how long she’d wait to come back or if she’d leave this time. Stay at her house until her mother went back to wherever it was she was living now.
One thing he knew. He loved Lil. He’d been wrong before. He could give her what she needed. He was the only one who could.
Lil wanted to go back to David’s, but she wasn’t sure when she should. He needed to talk to his mother. They had plenty to clear. And when they were done, she wondered if he’d want her back full-time anyway.
Chemistry had never been their problem. If desire was the key ingredient to making their relationship work, they’d be in relationship heaven.
Commitment was their problem. The Degas revelation could shake him even more.
She hated this.
Maybe she should go to the store. Pick up something for Scamp. Or go see Miguel in the hospital in El Paso. The poor boy needed to know she didn’t hold him responsible.
A car pulled up in her drive and she knew the minute she saw the tinted windows, the Mercedes emblem. Her mother had arrived.
Great.
As her mother stepped out of the car, her black calf length skirt swung around her gracefully. The high-heeled shoes looked like something off the pages of In-Style. The hair was blonde now. Icy blonde. The makeup flawless.
Lil tried not to care as her mother looked her up and down and found her wanting. It was probably the Levi’s. She’d picked them up at a garage sale. No telling how old they were.
“Lil, darling,” her mother embraced her coldly, kissed both cheeks. “I was frantic when I saw the news. Tell me you’ve come to your senses now.”
“Hello mother.” Lil smiled, waved at the driver. “Hi Steve. Still driving mother everywhere, I see.”
The driver’s hair was salt and pepper now instead of black. His eyes still smiled. “When she’s in the states, I do.”
Her mother’s employees loved her. Lil never understood their devotion. But she was happy for it. They’d been her constant companions while her parents gallivanted across the world.
“Daddy couldn’t make it?” She didn’t know why she asked. Why it mattered.
Her mother reached out, smoothed her shirt, stared at the bruise. Ignored her question. “Oh Lil.”
Lil didn’t know what she’d do if her mother started crying. Her mother looked as lost as she felt. With that realization, she knew what she had to do. “There’s someone I want you to meet. Think I can hitch a ride in your fancy car?”
Her mother frowned at the question. “I’ll take you anywhere you want to go. You know that.” Lil supposed she did know that. She just wished…it didn’t matter. Her mother couldn’t give her what she wanted. She w
asn’t capable. But David could if he’d just give them a chance.
She figured this was their test. If they had any chance at all, she’d know soon.
David talked to the police, told them Lil would be back soon and wished he knew for sure that was true.
When the black Mercedes pulled in front of his apartment, he knew who he’d find inside. Sure enough Lil’s mother stepped out. When Lil followed he frowned. Surely she hadn’t changed her mind. Surely now after everything they’d been through she wasn’t stopping by to say goodbye.
Her mother followed her up the stairs to his door, looking entirely disapproving and completely out of place.
He opened the door when they reached it, and Lil kissed him. Said hello. And he felt safe again. That kiss was no goodbye.
He kissed her back. Said hello yourself. Smiled so she’d know he really was alright now.
“There’s someone I’d like you to meet,” Lil said and then she introduced him to the woman who’d hurt her so often over the years.
Somehow he kept his smile in place. He knew it’s what Lil wanted.
“I thought you might like to feed us,” she said and he knew what she was doing. Showing her mother his best qualities right up front.
“Darling, please,” her mother said. “I’ll take you out to dinner. We don’t need to bother your friend.”
“David lives for cooking, mother. Trust me. You want this.” And she pushed her mother in the door. Scamp bounded out of the bedroom and Lil scratched his ears. The dog rolled over, her slave again and David laughed at the distressed look on her mother’s face.
He decided to do what he could there. “I’ve heard a lot about you the last few years, Mrs. Palmer.”
Lil’s mother raised an eyebrow, regarded him coldly. “Funny, I’ve not heard a word about you, Mr. Martinez.”
David laughed at the killer mother coldness he saw. Lil might think her mother didn’t care, but he’d seen that protective look before. Lil’s mother wanted her safe. She was here to make sure that happened. He couldn’t fault her there.
“I can do requests, or you can live dangerously. Let me surprise you.”
Lil laughed again, tossed a ball for Scamp to chase. “Surprise us. I trust you.” And David saw she meant it.
