by J. J. McAvoy
She jumped away from me and dashed to the door, taking her leave. It was only when she was gone that I felt like I could breathe again. I grabbed my bed kit before moving to my bathroom. I took the bandage off my shoulder, and a whole rush of memories engulfed my mind. I could feel her long fingers on my shoulder.
“God-fucking-damn it!” I hollered, slamming my fist on the kitchen counter. I thought screwing the maid would help...instead I found myself imagining her? Why? Why the hell? Out of nowhere was I thinking of her like this? She was drunk.
But she’d always been the most honest when she was drunk. That’s why…that’s why I wanted her to drink.
“Fuck me,” I grumbled to myself, picking up the alcohol to clean my wound. This was all my fucking fault. I made a mistake. And because of that mistake, I went to her. I wanted her to stop being angry, so I tried to make her talk it out by giving her wine…and she did talk it out. Too much in fact. But it was my own goddamn fault for doing this.
“But why am I always pushing her?” The question came out of my mouth before I even realized it. I looked at my reflection, as if that was going to help. Instead, I just saw how pitiful I looked.
Putting another bandage on, I covered my shoulder wound, sealing over it with tape. I turned on the shower, stepping in under the hot water, inhaling the steam. I’m always pushing her. I’m always pushing myself for her. Just like the memory I recalled. Ethan thought it was a bad idea to cause a scene at our Uncle Neal’s wedding anniversary back when I was eleven, but I told him I’d do it alone and make sure he got in trouble anyway. I wanted to get Darcy and Sedric in on it, too, but he told me not to go overboard. Back then I didn’t know I was going overboard. I wanted everyone to know and everyone to be just as angry as I was. Was I wrong? Was I going beyond my role as her cousin then? I killed to bring her back home. If it wasn’t Helen, would I have done the same thing? Yes! If it was Dona I would have—but when my father sent her to boarding school, I hadn’t really fought him. When Gabriel came I was pissed, I wanted her to stay, but I didn’t go to the extreme. With Helen, I’m always forcing her to stay with me. I even made sure to help her open a company in Boston so she’d have to stay.
Why?
What did this mean?
Stepping out of the shower, I grabbed two towels, tying one around my waist before drying my head with one hand. As I headed back into my bedroom, I saw one of the last people I wanted to see waiting—
“Isn’t sex supposed to relax you?” Darcy questioned as he flipped through a book on my sofa. He was dressed in tan trousers and a light blue dress shirt.
Not when I’m thinking about your fucking sister! I hollered back in my mind
Instead I said, “If you ever have sex, let me know.”
I heard him curse me when I walked into closet, only to come face to face with Thing 2.
“You’re relaxed afterward? I’m just hungry. Though sometimes I just pass out. Is that healthy?” Sedric questioned before stuffing pudding into his mouth.
“I don’t fucking know, move!” I snapped at him before pushing him to the side.
“Your bedside manner sucks.”
I flipped him off before grabbing my black boxer briefs. “Don’t both of you have other things to be doing this morning?”
“We penciled in bothering you, so we’re right on schedule,” Darcy responded, and I rolled my eyes, putting on my trousers before stepping toward the closet entrance.
“So that means I don’t have to worry about your press conference this afternoon?” I asked, looking between them both. “It would be a shame if you both fucked up on your first day on this side of the family…especially after those passionate speeches you gave to your fathers.”
Sedric’s demeanor changed as he glared into my eyes. “It seems our cousin has mistaken our teasing for weakness, Darcy.”
“Ironic, seeing as he’s the one who ran away from his responsibility the second he had the chance,” Darcy replied, rising from my sofa.
Smirking, I nodded in agreement; “True. I did run. Neither of your fathers’ have ever doubted that I could do this job. That this is where I am supposed to be. Can either of you say the same?”
“You sure you want to keep pressing, cuz?” Sedric said, his jaw set.
“I don’t see why not. After all, you work for me.” I stepped into my room. “On this side of the line, we aren’t just family any more. You’re one of the men, the guards, the workers. Which means you work for me. You die for me if I need you to die for me. So tell me, cuz, what is an employee going to do to his boss?”
“I can almost see the tension in the air.”
At the sound of her voice, I wanted to crawl back into bed and restart my whole fucking morning with the door locked!
“What’s going on?” Helen asked, stepping closer to us. And without meaning to, I looked her over. Wishing I hadn’t noticed how short her plaid skirt was or how tight the black sweater she had on was…I could see just how full her breasts—
Stop!
“Wyatt apparently woke up on the wrong side of his maid this morning,” Declan stated, and I wanted to smack him to the goddamn moon!
“We’re supposed to fight our enemies not our family,” Helen said, looking between us.
“Fighting, whose fighting? Are we fighting?” I asked them. But before I could, Thing 1 and Thing 2 decided to abandon me, walking out as if I was the one who had done something wrong, grumbling as they left. The damn traitors.
“Did the maid upset you or something?” She asked after they left. I could only stare at her. Really, she was bringing up the maid? Fuck the maid! She was my problem. How the hell could she even ask— “Earth to Wyatt? What’s wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Huh?”
She frowned, tilting her head to the ground. “You’re looking at me like you want to strangle me.”
Is that how I looked? Maybe it’s because I want to strangle you, Helen! I imagined it for a quick second, and all I could see was her on my bed, my hands around her throat as I fucked—
“Helen…” My voice drifted off because I honestly had no fucking clue what to say to her.
“By the way, when did you leave last night?” I froze at her question.
“What?”
She sighed. “Seriously, what is up with you? You haven’t been able to form a single sentence.”
You’ve gotta be fucking with me. She didn’t remember? I didn’t fucking believe it. “You asked me to leave, Helen.”
“I did?” She said slowly, her brows bunching together. “Okay, anyway, I just came to say I’m still pissed at you. But to spare myself another lecture from Dona, I’m going to help you with whatever you need. Hurry up and get dressed. Nana is waiting to start breakfast.”
What the fuck was happening?
Did I fall through a wormhole?
Was I losing my bloody mind?
“Helen!” I hollered at her, and she jumped, turning back to me before she made it to my door.
Her brown eyes wide as she stared at me. “What? Why are you yelling at me?”
“You don’t remember what happened last night?”
Again, her eyebrows bunched together. “You came over, shot. I took a bullet out of you. You’re welcome by the way. And then…you said you left? What else happened? And it better be good for you to yell at me like that.”
She didn’t remember. Inside my mind there was an internal war raging, and she didn’t fucking remember throwing me into this chaos?! Bullshit! Fucking bullshit!
“Wyatt? Seriously you’re starting worry me.”
You should be worried!
“Sorry, it’s fine. I’ll see you downstairs,” I muttered, and she gave me one more strange look as if I was the one who didn’t have his sanity together!
“Okay, then.” She nodded before gripping onto the handle of the door. Right before exiting, she turned back and said, “And if you’re going to screw the maids, at least have the decen
cy to not rip their clothes! It’s a long walk from here to the service wing.”
Was she really in love with me? How could she lecture me about the treatment of some woman I’d just finished screwing?
Did she really fucking forget?
TWELVE
“‘Do you think we can be friends?’ I asked.
He stared up at the ceiling. ‘Probably not, but we can pretend.’”
~ Priya Ardis
HELEN
I stood in the hallway trying to breathe. But I couldn’t. My mind was going crazy.
He remembered. Shit. He remembered!
Not only did he remember what I did, he was acting weird. Just like I knew he would, so I could only do one thing…lie. I had to pretend as if I didn’t remember. Yes, it was cowardly. But what else could I fucking do? Pretending was easier for both of us.
“Are you alright, Gummy Bear?”
I jumped, not realizing he was right beside me. He frowned, his head tilting to the side slightly, eyeing me carefully. Before he could question me, I spoke up. “Hi, Dad, sorry. I’m just a little...” I didn’t have the word, so I just skipped over to more important matters. “Don’t call me Gummy Bear!”
“Why not? You love gummy bears.” He laughed at me. “When you were little, you would inhale a bag like your life depended on it, and your cheeks would get so big—”
“Dad!”
“Okay! I promise not call you Gummy Bear…to your face.” I knew that was the best he could do, and he still wasn’t going to keep that promise. “Don’t glare at me. I’m so glad to be home.”
He opened his arms to me. Smiling, I hugged him tightly, feeling him squeeze back. “Ah! Dad!”
“HA!” He laughed at me before letting go. “As if your little arms could put a dent in me. Don’t you know I’m made of stone?”
I made a face at him, crossing my arms as I reminded him, “Just wait, Dad, those bones of yours are aging quickly.”
His scowled at me, his brown eyes narrowing at me. I stared back at him, and out of nowhere he stuck his tongue out at me.
My mouth dropped open; “Did you just—”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Come on, we don’t want to keep Grandma waiting,” he said, adjusting his tie.
Shaking my head, I walked down the hall with him, resting my head on his shoulder. “Dad, you’ll support me in anything, right?”
“Hell, no.”
“What?” I stopped. We’d only made it five steps.
He said seriously, “I’ll support you in almost anything but if you tell me you plan on leaving the family and joining a comic book cult, I’d smack you over the head.”
I couldn’t help it. I laughed. “Where does one find a comic book cult?”
“You laugh, but I lived long enough to know not to doubt the stupidity of some people.” He nodded to himself, and he looked like he had really thought about it.
Exhaling, I shook my head and took his arm again. “You are ridiculous, Dad.”
“Me? When you were seven you said you were going to run away to comic-con if I didn’t take you.” He chuckled, shaking his head.
I grinned, remembering. “You had fun with me! You even got into an argument with a Wookie.”
“It was a grown man standing WAY too close to you in a furry bear-dog costume. He was lucky I only used my words. And that it was me and not your mother.” He grinned. We both knew he would have found whatever my mom would have done hilarious.
Declan and Coraline, my parents, were the very definition of over-protective. When Darcy and I were little, it was the most embarrassing thing in the world. But now looking back on it was funny and sweet. They loved us, and Grandma always said Callahans love irrationally, obsessively, and completely.
“Thanks for taking me, Dad,” I whispered. He didn’t reply because we were already at the dining room. But he did look down and give me a small wink.
“Good Morning, Nana.” I moved to the head of the table, where she sat dressed in a deep velvet green sweater with white pearls around her neck and a long black pleated skirt. Her hair in short loose curls. Kissing her check, I hugged her from the side, saying, “You look beautiful, as always.”
“Good morning, and thank you, sweetheart. I’m glad to see you this morning. I missed you last night.” Her voice was sweet and gentle, but I knew from the look in her eyes that what she really meant was, ‘Good morning, and thank you, sweetheart. You skipped family dinner when I told you I wanted everyone here. I forgive you, but don’t do it again.’ Yes, one look said all that. Evelyn Callahan had raised me just as much as my parents…and unlike my parents, she very much believed in the family code. How Ethan ever got his way with her proved just how strong he was.
I gave her a pout and the best puppy dog eyes I could muster. “Nana, forgive me. I won’t miss dinner again, I promise.”
She stared briefly before the corner of her gracefully wrinkled lip turned up into a small smile. “Good. You must be hungry. I know you probably only ate junk food all night.”
“Me? Never!” I gasped, moving over to the other side of the table near my mom.
“Morning, dear.” My mom smiled so wide it looked almost painful, even though I knew it wasn’t. She sat at the left side of the table, now two seats down from the head. She was dressed in a solid dark red, one shoulder, tied-waist culotte jumpsuit and diamond earrings. Her hair straight and pulled behind her ears.
“Mom, you look hot,” I said as I moved over to her and kissed the side of her cheek, too. “Are you going somewhere?”
“I told you I booked a spa date for us.”
My eyes went wide. “Today?”
“What spa?” My father stood by me, behind her chair, kissing her cheek as well before taking a seat ahead of her. “Because you don’t look like you need to go the spa.”
“Urgh, Dad!” Darcy cringed as he came in after us, though I was sure he’d already been here. He said good morning to our grandmother before moving to sit beside me. “Could you not give Mom eyes while I’m trying to get food? I’d like to have an appetite this morning.”
“I’ll give your mother eyes whenever I damn well please, and you’ll live with it.” He smirked, sipping his water from the glass. “Be lucky I’m not—”
“Declan,” Nana called out to him.
He looked to her and smiled. “Yes?”
“Please spare us the details. We get it. You love your wife.”
“Apparently everyone is just jealous of us this morning, Ma Beauté,” he said to my mother, making her laugh and shake her head at him.
“Morning!” Uncle Neal’s voice boomed as he came in with his family. Aunt Mina was holding Saura in her arms. But when Mina got closer, she set Saura down so she could say good morning to Nana. She was still sleepily rubbing her eyes as she did.
“Morning, Na-Nana.”
“Morning, Precious,” Evelyn replied, kissing Saura’s forehead before she walked back to Nari, who sat opposite of me. Her hair was slicked back into a ponytail, and she wore a deep orange sweater and brown trousers. Evelyn glanced to the door, wondering where her husband was. “Where’s Jason?”
“He got called into the city. Apparently, the market is going a little crazy,” Nari replied, taking her seat on the other side of Sedric. Uncle Neal sat at the head, to the right of Evelyn.
I noticed that, because Ethan and Dona weren’t here, the table seating had changed.
Ethan normally sat at the head. His wife would sit to the right, Nana to the left, and Dona beside her. Wyatt was never here, but he would have sat on the right, next to Ethan’s wife, until…Nana wasn’t here, then he’d sit on the left of Ethan.
The Callahan family table was a hierarchy. And Evelyn enforced it strictly.
So while Nari was older than Sedric, she actually moved down and Sedric up after she got married to Jason. I knew the same would happen to me eventually, but it was kind of weird now because I always knew I could count on Dona break
ing the rules and sitting near me just to chat because she was “bored.”
If I was married to Wyatt, I’d actually end up sitting ahead of my father—What the hell was I thinking? That was impossible. It’s wrong..Helen. Don’t cause any more problems than you have already.
“Is it about last night’s shootings?” Nana asked before looking to O’Phelan to start bringing out the food. “Have they announced who died?”
“Governor Orton’s wife, Brigitte Orton. Major Gutpa’s wife, Fatimah Gutpa, along with his grandmother. Commissioner McCoy lost his two teenage sons, and Chief Mataka lost her granddaughter,” Wyatt answered as he came in, and I immediately looked away, picking up my water as he moved to his seat ahead of my father. Evelyn most likely sat in the head chair to remind everyone, even the staff, that Wyatt was not the head of this family. That spot was for Ethan…knowing Wyatt, he probably preferred it that way.
“There were a few others, but those are the only ones we should really pretend to care about,” Wyatt said, tearing apart the bread O’Phelan had placed on his plate.
“How sad, I’ll have flowers sent—”
“I already had them sent,” Wyatt said with a grin. Evelyn looked at him for a long time; he looked right back at her. But they didn’t say anything else on the matter. Instead, Evelyn cast her gaze on Darcy, then Sedric.
“You two have a big day today. I’m looking forward to your press conference.”
“Is it in good taste to do it after what happened last night?” Aunt Mina asked, sipping her tea slowly. “We wouldn’t want to look insensitive.”
“Actually, it helps our cause,” Darcy replied while pouring milk into his coffee. “The whole reason Sedric and I are planning it is wanting to do more, because life is short. Last night only further emphasizes that. If they still don’t get it, one of us will make sure to offer our deepest, fakest condolences to those who lost their lives in last night’s senseless massacre.”
Sarcasm dripped off his voice, making Wyatt snicker as he looked down at Darcy. However, I was right between them, and because I was overly conscious of him, our eyes met. Whatever dark joke he was going to make faded away as he looked at me. For a second it looked like he was scowling at me. I wanted to look away, but if I did he’d know I remembered. So I just gave him a surprised look and mouthed, “What?” Annoyed, he looked away.
