Immediately I’m on the defensive, but I tell myself to control my Walker temper and behave like the adult I want this woman to see me as. That starts with taking a few deep breathes and chilling the fuck out.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Tatum
“I promise you what we have now isn’t like what happened before.” I’m quick to try and assure her. “I made a mistake and I fully admitted that mistake, apologized, and prayed we could move on. Remy said we could, and that’s what we’re doing.”
“He’s an amazing man who’s only wanted to be loved his entire life. He missed out on that.” Harper’s voice is hoarse, showing a pain that I don’t think she allows anyone else to hear. “I love him, Cash loves him, Maddie thinks he hung the damn moon, but he’s always wanted a love for himself. You get what I’m saying?”
I do because I’ve always wanted that too. I’ve looked around at all the couples in the clubhouse, including our parents, and I’ve waited my turn. Sometimes very impatiently, but when you’re surrounded by love, you want to give and in turn receive it. “I know, that’s what I was trying to do last year, show him that I loved him, but I went about it the wrong way.”
“No you didn’t, Remy just didn’t know what to do with it. I firmly believe that. He wanted to protect you from the worst parts of himself, and in doing that, he pushed you away. Cash is a lot like him. Trust me, I get it. But Tatum, I’m begging you, don’t play with his heart. It’s a good one, and I’d hate to see it break into a thousand pieces that no one can put back together again.”
I’m quiet for a few minutes and as objective as I can be. This would be like my mom talking to Remy – I have to remember this. And damnit, this is the new adult me. “He’s safe with me. I hear what you’re saying, and I promise, I’m gonna be careful with him, he’s gonna be careful with me, and we’re communicating. Which we weren’t doing before. More than anything, it was a communication breakdown.” I sigh as I push my shoulders back, knowing I have to do what Remy told me to. “And to be honest, everyone bringing it up is setting us back. We’re happy and good. Please just let us be that way. I mean no disrespect saying those words to you, please know that.”
She tilts her head, almost as if she’s trying to figure out if what I’m saying is the truth. With every bit of restraint I have, I keep the bratty look off my face and the smart ass replies in. It won’t help any of this. Finally, it seems as if I’ve passed the test.
“Good.” She comes around the counter, folding me in a hug. “I think you’re perfect for him, and I’m glad you’ll be around more often.” Going back around, she makes those hot drinks and hands them to me.
“Me too, Harper, me too.”
With a parting smile to her, I grab my stuff and head back to the salon. The one person I’d been scared to come face to face with, hadn’t been so bad after all.
Remy
“That’s a fuckin’ foul if I’ve ever felt one.” I grimace as I pick myself up off the hardwood.
Jagger and I are playing a pick-up game of basketball with Drew and Dalton. It’s physical and brutal, but at the same time it’s some of the most fun I ever have. I love to be able to get on the court, run, and not worry about whether I have to have an inhaler with me.
“Don’t be a pussy.” Drew throws the words over his shoulder as he walks back to where the other guys are standing. I can hear the teasing in his tone, otherwise I probably would have taken offense to the words.
“What’s the score?” Jagger asks, lifting his shirt up and wiping his face off.
We’ve been playing for a little over an hour. All of us are panting, our shirts are sticking to our bodies, and I can feel the endorphins flowing through my body, making me feel alive.
Drew drops his hands to his knees, bending over at the waist. “Twenty to twenty-four, you two. So if you get one more point, you’ve got it.”
We always play to twenty-five, and baskets always count as one point, no matter where they’re shot from. Makes us work harder for it, which conditions us better.
“Your ball.” He bounces it to me.
I palm it, bouncing it back and forth and then between my legs, plotting my next move. If there’s anything these pick-up games of basketball have taught me, it’s to be patient. When I first started, people would score on me all the time, or I’d miss every shot I threw up because I didn’t wait for the right opportunity to present itself. No doubt it helped me in this Tatum situation. My eyes take in everything around me, cataloguing what’s going on. Dalton and Jagger are waiting for my move, but Jagger’s in better shape than Dalton and while I see the fatigue on Dalton’s face, I don’t see it on Jagger’s. Drew’s guarding me. I can hear his breath, he’s winded. When I catch him leaning too far to the right, I crossover and take off to the left where there’s a clear lane, and lay up the last point for Jagger and I to win.
“Looks like that hickey on your neck hasn’t fucked up your basketball skills.” Drew smirks, lifting his shirt up to wipe the sweat off his face. He’s baiting me, and that’s cool; what I do with Tatum is my business. My lips are sealed.
“That the best you can come up with?” I taunt him.
“Oh there’s a shit ton I can come up with, but I feel like it disrespects Tatum. If there’s one thing I know about her it’s that she wouldn’t be with you unless she wanted to be and you’re making her happy. She won’t put up with that shit either. I feel like there’s probably something that happened last year I should kick your ass for, but I’ll reserve that for if you fuck whatever the two of you having going on right now up. I haven’t always been the smartest man when it came to Charity either, so I understand, but she’s my baby sister, and I will fuck you up. Don’t ever doubt that.”
“Trust me, I don’t,” I answer as I sit down and gulp a bottle of water.
Jagger and Dalton join us, each holding their own bottles of water.
“So.” Jagger looks over at Drew. “When do I have to start calling you Pres?”
“Fuck you dude, seriously.”
I wonder if this is something Drew wants. Did Liam talk to him about it, or did he just hand him the responsibility? I want to ask, but at the same time, I feel as if it isn’t my place to ask.
“It surprised me as much as it surprised y’all.” He shakes his head, finishing his bottle of water. Something about the way he looks at it makes me wonder if he wishes it was something with some alcohol content in it. “I mean, he’d talked about it off and on over the last few years, but nothing concrete, ya know? I always thought it was some far-off type thing for him. I sure as fuck didn’t expect him to announce it the way he did.”
“You happy about it?” Jagger’s asks. “You can be honest here man, that’s what we’re here for.”
“I’m extremely honored that he’d turn this over to me. I’m not his blood, and I know that’s never made a difference to him, but it’s made one to me. He didn’t have to do half the shit he’s done for me and Mandy, but he has. This legacy is something I’ll cherish forever, but I’m scared. I have a wife, twins that are toddlers, and with the inclusion of the club comes the shop. There are a lot of people who’ll be counting on me once he completely turns it over to me, and I don’t want to let them down.”
Jagger reaches over, gripping Drew’s shoulder. “All of us are here to help guide you. You ain’t in this all by yourself.”
“In the end I will be. I fuck this up, it’s my fault. I’m fully aware of that, Jagger.”
“You go into it thinking you’re going to fuck it up and you will. Liam gave you this responsibility for a reason. He sees something in you, something you probably don’t see in yourself. Trust me, this wasn’t a bad decision on his part. You’ve got this.”
Drew looks like he wants to argue, but he doesn’t. “Thanks for the game guys, I gotta go pick up the twins in the next thirty minutes. I’m outta here.”
After he left, the group dispersed quickly, and I made my way to the locker room to grab
my stuff. On the way, I spot Cash. “What are you doing?”
“Getting in a work out. My jeans were a little tighter than I like for them to be,” he admits as he follows me to the locker room. “You playing ball?”
“Yeah, you should join us one day for a game. It’s better cardio than being on that damn treadmill. I hate running, running, running, and getting fucking nowhere.”
“I know, but sometimes I can just blank my mind out and enjoy the work out. It’s nice to not have to think about anything.”
And there’s the difference between him and me; he works out to get peace and quiet, I work out to figure out all the messiness that sometimes jumbles in my head.
“What are you doing after this?”
“Meeting Tatum. She’s supposed to text me when she gets done with her hair appointment, and I’m gonna go meet her at your shop. She’s gotta pick up her car. After we drop it off, we’re going to dinner.”
Cash gives me a smile, an eyebrow raised. “Like out in public? That’s totally unlike you, little bro.”
“Shut the fuck up.” My cheeks redden. It is totally unlike me, but I refuse to admit to other people she’s making me do things I wouldn’t normally do, that I’m changing for her.
My phone buzzes in my pocket.
T: Addie and I are done. We have to run an errand and then I’ll meet you at the shop.
R: On my way now.
“Gotta go.” I clap hands with my brother. “See you around.”
“Go, you little whipped fucker.”
I flip him a middle finger as I hurry into the locker room and grab my stuff. I can’t wait to see Tatum. She’s quickly becoming an important part of my life that I want to have around all the time.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Remy
“How’s it going?” I shuffle into Cash’s shop, shivering slightly as the cold weather affects me now that I’ve started to cool off from the game. Caelin, who’s his afternoon help sometimes when neither he nor Tatum can work the shop, is manning the front. His eyes are at half-mast as he looks up at me. A few minutes later and I may have caught him taking a nap.
“Boring as fuck.” He yawns, leaning over so that he reads something on his phone. He’s tall, much like Tyler, and when he straightens to his full height, I almost have to look up. “School was out today because of the ‘snow’.” He rolls his eyes as he makes air quotes with his fingers. “So I’ve been here since Tatum left, and only one person has come in to pick up their car. Most boring day ever. I can’t believe Cash is paying me for this.”
“You could be working across the street and actually having to work to get paid,” I remind him as I glance over my shoulder. Liam’s shop is still hopping, and it looks like most of what’s sitting over there will be there when I clock in tomorrow morning.
“Aww, fuck no, man. Not today, not today.”
I laugh because he seems to be so put out by the whole situation. The kid will learn soon enough, but at sixteen, he’s probably not gonna have that lesson for a while. “Go ahead and get out of here. I’m waiting on Tatum to meet me, so I’ll close up for you.”
“You sure?” His face lights up, a grin covering the darker skin. Chances are he’s got plans, and I’ve just helped him go meet whatever girl he’s messing around with right now for a good time.
“Get outta here.” I jerk my thumb to the door, shaking my head. I don’t know what I would have done, had I had a youth like his. Probably would have been much smoother in getting Tatum to say she’s mine. Reminding myself that it doesn’t matter how we came to be together, only that we are. I watch as he vaults over the counter and all but runs out the damn door.
After Caelin leaves, I play on my phone for a good fifteen minutes, and when it looks like no one is going to come in, I head to the back for a quick tidy up of my appearance. Using the toiletries Cash keeps on hand when he has to meet Harper, I do my best to clean up so I don’t completely stink when Tatum gets here.
As I’m changing my shirt, the bell rings indicating someone has entered the shop. Just my luck since it closes in the next ten minutes, but hopefully it’s Tatum and we can get out of here. “Be right there,” I yell, finishing up. My cut’s over on the other side of the small room, and I don’t want to waste time possibly getting whoever this is out, in case it’s not Tatum. I walk out wearing a plain shirt.
In case it is her, I have a smile on my face as I round the corner. I’m excited to see her, happy to be spending time with her tonight, and I want her to know it. “Hey beautiful.” The words break off in a whisper as I notice who’s in the shop.
Time stops, the smile on my face freezes, my heart drops, and I experience the worst panic I’ve ever felt in my life as I see the two people standing in front of me. This can’t be happening, absolutely can’t be fucking happening. Why now? Why when I’m getting everything I’ve ever wanted and piecing my fucking life together? Why now?
Keep it together, Remy. Don’t show fear. You’re the member of a motorcycle club. Show them who are you are now, not who you were back then.
“You’ve grown up so much,” the woman says, clasping her hands to her chest and looking at me with so much pride it almost makes me want to throw up.
I don’t answer her as I struggle for words, for breath, for a fucking anchor in this fucked up situation I’ve found myself in. Surely to God there’s got to be someone recording somewhere, and they’re going to jump out and tell me I’ve been pranked by someone with a fucked-up sense of humor. Honestly though, if that’s the case, I’ll be relieved.
“You do remember us, right?” the man asks, his gaze roaming around the shop. No doubt casing the place, trying to figure out how he can take everything Cash has worked for his entire life. I avoid his eyes, hating the way he looks at me and knowing the shit about me he does.
After what feels like years, I find my voice. “I know who you are. The question is why you’re here. What the hell do you want?”
The woman steps forward, a sick smile on her wrinkled face. If rode hard, put up wet were in the dictionary, she’d be the picture next to it. “We’re your parents, Remington, what kind of a question is that?”
“A damn good one. I haven’t talked to you since I was twelve years old, haven’t seen you since my graduation, and even right now, this is way too goddamn soon. Get the fuck out of Cash’s shop.”
Neither one of them budge as their eyes take in the life Cash has built for himself. “We’re family,” George Sawyer says, putting his elbows on the counter.
“No we’re not. Get the fuck out.” I point to the door again. “You may remember me as a little kid who couldn’t get out from under your fists, who hid in the dark because you scared the shit out of him, and who couldn’t take fifteen steps without taking a hit off an inhaler. I ain’t that kid anymore.”
“Yeah you are.” George gives me a smirk. “You’re always going to be that kid, doesn’t matter if your balls finally dropped or not. Seem to remember one particular night where you pissed your pants waiting for me to leave. That’s fear boy, and I can still smell it coming off you like a Pitbull smells fresh blood.”
Rage is a dark and red haze over my eyes. I’m fighting against the anger and desire I have rolling through my body to kill this motherfucker standing in front of me right now. My life was a joke to him, it was something to play with and make a place of fear. He succeeded for a long time, made me think everything was my fault and I deserved all the crazy shit he did to me.
Right now, I’d love to give him a taste of everything he gave me and all the other people he fucked over, but I can’t. Tatum’s on her way, and I don’t want her to be subjected to either one of these pieces of shit. Quite frankly, I don’t want them to know what she means to me.
“You may not know who I am now, but I wear a patch on my cut that guarantees I have backup whenever I need it.”
George shoots me a look of disbelief, chuckling as he moves his eyes up and down my body. Right now I�
�m sorry I was changing when they came in, otherwise I’d show him that cut. “You joined an MC? You?”
“Patched in member and everything, you bastard. Which means I’m one of the last people you probably wanna go head to head with. I’ve changed a lot since the last time you saw me.”
He stares at me, almost as if he’s seeing me for the first time. And maybe he is. He didn’t give two shits about me when I was a kid. All I was to him was a problem. A medical bill that landed in the hospital every few months. There’s a tiny sliver of fear in his gaze, and I grasp onto it, holding it tightly within my fingers as I welcome it. For once I hold power over him, and it’s a heady feeling.
It’s a hard thing to hold the rage back, to keep myself in control, but I do it, because I don’t want to be him. As much as I know the anger and darkness is inside of me, I don’t want to fulfill the prophecy. My gaze travels outside, and I see Addie dropping Tatum off. Fuck, I hadn’t wanted my parents to see her.
“You gotta leave, now.”
“Who is she to you, Remington?” my mom asks, her voice soft, as she gazes at me. “Your eyes lit up when you first saw her. You looked like a man in love.”
Using my body, I try to turn them toward the door, herd them out like the cattle they are. “She’s none of your business. I need you to leave. I have to close up.”
Tatum comes busting through the door, a huge smile on her face, completely oblivious to what’s taking place here. She runs into my arms, wrapping herself around my body.
“I’m surprised you aren’t closed yet. I thought Caelin was watching the shop.” She leans up, kissing me on the jaw, squeezing her arms around my waist.
My eyes are on the two people behind her. My mom looking like she wants an introduction, my dad looks like he wants to eat her up as his gaze travels to her ass. I possessively cup my palm around the curve, accepting her kiss. “They were just leaving and then I was going to.”
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