“We’ll be back to pick up our car later.” George’s eyes meet mine.
I see the challenge there. He won’t make me break, at least not in front of him, and he sure as hell won’t touch Tatum – not if I have anything to say about it. We’re having a conversation through clenched jaws and squinted eyes shooting daggers at one another across the room. If this were a movie, he’d be the bad guy with the shitty music playing in the background.
“It’ll be ready.” I mean those words, more than I ever have. Now that I have someone to back me, they won’t ever see me being the weak-ass kid I was back then. This is a shock, and I have no doubt that when they leave I’ll lose my fucking mind, but they won’t see me the way they remember me. I’ll make old Remy proud and stand toe-to-toe with these two.
And with that they leave, allowing my body to relax for the first time since they came in. I deflate, the adrenaline that had been coursing through my body is fucking gone. My hands shake and my knees knock. As I stagger, Tatum makes a noise in her throat, tightening her grip around me.
“Remy, you okay?” Tatum finally clues in that something wasn’t right about the exchange. Her eyes are wild as she watches me totally tuck into myself. It’s what I always do after I have a run-in with these two. It’s been my reaction since I was a little kid, and damn if being an adult doesn’t change it.
Trying to focus on my breathing, I close my eyes for a split second, but feel myself sway. “I gotta sit down.” I reach blindly for a chair, or anything I can sit on. “Lock the door so my parents don’t come back in.”
And it’s then I have the mother of all freak outs.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Tatum
As the couple, who I now know as Remy’s parents, get into a late model truck and drive off, muffler roaring so loudly I’m damn sure the thing is going to come off, I lock the door. For some reason, I commit their license plate to memory, repeating it over and over softly to myself until I can close my eyes and see it. Only then do I turn back to the person who’s become such an important part of my life. He doesn’t look at all like the person I left yesterday evening. Gone is the soft way he’d gazed at me, the light tilt of his lips when he looked at me, and the absolute adoration written across his face.
Looking at him right now, it doesn’t even appear that he knows who I am. I’m frightened by what happened, but in the end, I’m not even sure what went down here. I have no idea what I stepped into and stumbled upon.
“Remy?” I whisper, afraid to speak too loudly.
I don’t want to scare him; his eyes are wild, chest is pumping, body is shaking. If I had to describe him, he’d be a feral animal. Never in the years we’ve known each other have I seen him like this. He gets up, starting to pace, fear in his eyes.
“Where’s my inhaler?” He reaches into his pockets, patting them, looking for something he hasn’t carried in years. “Can’t breathe, Tatum, can’t fucking breathe.” He inhales deeply, choking on the air he’s taking into his lungs. His eyes are wide, his hands go up to his throat, as he pulls the neck of the shirt he wears away from his body. I watch as he shrugs the shirt off, looking like he would take his skin with it if he could. He’s wheezing, working himself up into the worst panic I’ve ever seen.
“Remington,” I say sharply, walking over to him, palming his cheeks with my hands. “You don’t have asthma anymore, remember? You haven’t had asthma in a long time. You outgrew it. You’re fine.” I try to convince him he’s not having an attack as he continues to try and take a deep breath in.
“Can’t breathe, Tatum, I can’t breathe.”
I tilt his head so that our eyes meet one another, forcing him to see me. “Look at me, Rem. Breathe along with me, in and out, inhale and exhale, just relax your entire body. You’ll be fine, Rem, you’ll be fine.”
Eventually the wildness leaves his eyes and he starts breathing in a routine that is more toward normal. “Come back to me, Remy, come back to me.”
It’s almost as if he comes out of a trance when his eyes flash in recognition. He gets up, walking around the room, putting his hands at his hips, taking calming breaths.
“Are you okay?” I ask, my voice hoarse as I watch him try to handle what just happened to him.
“Sorry I freaked the fuck out.” He turns to me, picking his shirt up from the ground and shrugging it back on. “It’s been a long time since I had that happen.” He walks farther away from me, running his hands through his hair. “What did I say to you? I can never remember when they’re that bad. It’s like I go into this dark place where I’m just freaked the fuck out, and I don’t come back until I feel like it’s safe again.”
My feet are anchored to the floor, because I don’t know how he’ll take me touching him right now. He seemed okay with it earlier, but now I worry that he’s embarrassed or upset. “You kept asking for your inhaler, saying you couldn’t breathe.”
His eyes meet mine, he licks his lips, and ducks his head. His face is red, and he looks embarrassed as he holds his head in his hands. “My old standby.”
“What do you mean?” I’m confused about what he’s saying. I know he had a horrible time breathing when he was little, but I haven’t known him to have the problem since he got older.
He puts his hands on top of his head, turning around so he doesn’t have to face me. Talking to the empty garage, his voice is so quiet I have to strain to hear it. “My asthma attacks. It wasn’t until I was older and someone in Heaven Hill suggested I go talk with Doc Jones that I figured out I was having panic attacks.”
“What?” This information shocks me. As far as I know, as anyone knows, he outgrew his asthma. I can’t believe he’s kept this secret to himself for so long. Then again, I’ve just witnessed how embarrassed he was by someone seeing him have such a reaction, which I’m sure happened many times before he found out he could control it.
“Your dad, actually, saw me have an attack one time and thought it was anxiety. I swore up and down to him that it was asthma. He told me next time I had one, to try and relax, to do some breathing exercises, and see if I could come out of it.”
“My dad’s a smart guy.” I smile softly, the love I have for him growing. He’s so in tune with the men in his care, and he’s so focused on getting them the help they need. I’m proud of him, and I’ll tell him next time I see him. He’s the best kind of man, and I’m lucky to have him on my side.
Remy eventually comes over to where I am and has a seat in the chair he’d been sitting in earlier. I walk over to join him, not wanting to be too far away from him in case something happens again. If there’s anything I don’t want, it’s for him to think he’s alone in this crazy situation.
“He is! One of the smartest people I’ve ever met in my life. The first time I tried it, it didn’t work all the way, but the second time, I calmed down enough to be able to breathe. That’s when I thought maybe he was on to something.”
Remy pulls me into his lap, and I slip my arms around his neck, cuddling in close. Even though he scared me earlier, I’m happy to hear him speaking with a less shaky voice, and his body doesn’t seem to be vibrating with tension any longer. “At least you got sent to Doc Jones for a reason. I got sent there once for my smart mouth.”
“Yeah, he encouraged me to go see her. I haven’t been in a while though, haven’t had to go,” he whispers, his breath moving the hair that hangs in my face.
“And nobody knows about any of this?” I mindlessly play with a string hanging from his shirt, wrapping it around my finger and letting it go to curl, and then dropping against the material covering his body.
“Not even Cash, and I don’t want him to know about it now. I don’t want him to know the things I used to think about.”
“What did you used to think about?” My question is soft. I’m not Cash, and I want to know everything about the man I love. All the things he’s kept to himself, all the secrets he’s never allowed anyone to know. I want to know them.
The anxiety is apparent in his voice, and I want to calm him as much as possible. The new me wants to be the solution, not the problem. Old Tatum would have demanded he be honest with her right here, right now. She was immature and didn’t realize that some people had times in their lives they weren’t able to get beyond. This Tatum, looking at the man I love, realizes not everyone had the same kind of life she had growing up and is able to empathize. I like this new Tatum, and I’m proud of the words that come out of her mouth. “Then let’s go to my apartment. We can be alone, Addie’s got plans tonight.” I stand up holding my hand out to him, beckoning him with the flick of my wrist and the heat in my eyes. I don’t want to be alone tonight, and I sure as hell don’t want him to be alone tonight. “Come home with me?”
He grabs my hand, letting me pull him up, crowding against me. “You sure you wanna deal with me, Tate? I’m not easy to mess with when things like this happen. I can sometimes be a dick, and I excel at pushing people away.”
“There’s no other place I want to be. You need me, Remy, and I’m here for you. This is what people who love each other do. Please come with me, I want you with me, need your arms around me, and need to be in yours.”
It looks like he has an argument with himself, and I worry for a few seconds he’s going to decline. I shoot up a quick prayer. He doesn’t need to be alone, and I hope he realizes that. I can see when he makes the decision, and I breathe a sigh of relief as he gives me his terms. “I’ll follow you. Don’t let anyone in between us on the road.”
I’ve never seen him be this worried before and I never want to see it again. After what we’ve been through I’ll do whatever he needs me to in order to make him feel safe and secure. “I won’t. Let’s get out of here.”
He holds my hand tightly as we walk out into the cold night, escorting me to my car the way a gentleman would. Even with him being upset, he’s still taking care of me, showing that when he should be worried about himself, he’s worried about me. But when he kisses me before he shuts my door with a soft click, I can’t help but be worried about him too.
In the past few weeks we’ve gone from being two individual people to a couple who can take on the world as long as we’re together. The problem is going to be convincing him I can handle whatever these people are bringing to our front door. As Cash said, I’m the baddest bitch, and anyone who fucks with me, fucks with Heaven Hill. I’ve never in my life used who I am within the club for help, but for Remy I will.
They’ll be sorry that they stopped into Cash’s Customs tonight. My family and his will take care of us. They’ll do it with a smile on their face and revenge in their hearts.
If anyone should be scared, it’s that couple, because I’ll make sure hell will rain down on them. Taking care of Remington Sawyer is my number one goal.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Remy
It takes everything I have to put Tatum in her SUV and walk to my truck. Letting us separate for the small amount of time it’ll take us to get to her apartment is almost too much for me. My anxiety is at an all-time high, letting her out of my sight is about to make me crawl out of my skin.
I’m on her bumper as we turn out of the shop parking lot and travel down the road. She does as I ask, keeping us together on the road for the roughly fifteen minutes it takes us to get to where she lives.
The time went by in the blink of an eye. That itself indicates how out of it I am. Any other night I would have been checking our surroundings, making sure no one was following. Truth is, I just want to get inside and hold her in my arms, let her hold me in hers. I need that tonight; I need her softness and the absolute light that radiates around her.
I park next to her and jump out before she can open her door and slide out. “Let’s get inside.” I grab her hand and all but drag her with me to the building.
As soon as we’re enclosed inside, I feel better, not nearly as nervous and anxious as I was when we were out in the open. I’m desperately trying to practice the deep breathing techniques that saved my life when I was learning to control the anxiety.
When we get to her door, I don’t miss the slight shake of her hands as she puts her key in the door, turning the lock. I crowd around her, burying my face in her neck. “Nobody’s gonna hurt you, Tate. I’ll protect you with my life.”
It hits me how much I mean the words I’ve just spoken. It’s like a punch straight in the sternum, a kick in the gut, and a shock to the heart all at once. When she gets the lock undone, I push the door open, escorting us both to relative safety. She’s protected by measures Steele put in place, and that makes me relax somewhat.
“Do you mind if I take a shower?” I’m avoiding her eyes, but I do stink, and honestly I need a few minutes alone.
“No, not at all. I have some old clothes of Drew’s here that’ll probably fit you. That way you’ll have something to wear.”
“I’m straight.” I hold up my gym bag. “I always pack an extra pair, just in case.”
“Then make yourself at home. Are you hungry or anything?”
“Nah, just wanna take a shower. Couldn’t eat right now, even if I wanted to.”
The understanding in her eyes is appreciated; I know she gets where I’m coming from and why I’m upset. She just doesn’t get the extent of it, and no one can help her with that – except for me.
At the same time, I realize caring for her, loving her, is putting a bullseye on her back. My parents have seen me with her, and there’s no doubt in my mind that they’ll use it to their advantage. But tonight, just for tonight, I want to be with her. I want to show her how much I love her, what she means to me, and the impact she’s made on my life. Cranking the heat on the shower, I let my guard down, let everything I usually use to block my feelings fall away. For tonight, I want her to be able to see me, the real me, not the one I project to everyone.
In doing this, I know I’ll make myself vulnerable, and surprisingly I’m okay with it. Hopping in the shower, I hope I don’t break her heart.
*
“Feeling any better?”
I glance up from where I’m running a towel through my hair. “Some. Still feeling a little like I’ve dropped myself into an alternate universe, but it is what it is.” I shrug my shoulders.
She comes around the bed, pushing her pants down her hips. “You look tired.” She tilts her head to the side, giving me a sad smile.
“I am, I just want to lie down and forget about this shit show.”
She lifts her shirt over her head, leaving her in a pair of panties and a bra. It’s then I notice her hair. “You changed your hair today.”
“Yeah.” She smiles self-consciously. “You like it?”
“Everything you do is gorgeous, Tate. You cut off a bit of it. I noticed it didn’t come in front of your chest when you took your shirt off.”
She blushes adorably. “Leave it to you to be notice it doesn’t cover my tits.”
My chuckle is deep, and it’s almost as if it doesn’t want to come out of my throat, but it does. And that’s because of her. “Truth? The only thing I want covering your nipples is my mouth.”
“We can make that happen, Rem.”
“Damn right, we can make that happen.” I crowd her, using my body weight to push her until she hits the wall behind her. Once there’s no place for her to go, I tug the edges of her bra down, exposing those nipples to my hungry gaze.
“Rem?” She questions softly.
“I need you,” I admit hoarsely. “I need you to make me forget.”
Pushing against my body, she walks over to the table beside her bed, reaches in, and pulls out a condom. “I thought maybe we might need them here, too.”
> Her tilted grin is cute, sexy, and everything I need in this moment. I push down the athletic shorts I put on and work on getting protection covered. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see her disrobing like me and positioning herself on the bed. She’s on all fours, her ass sticking up in the air. When I come to stand behind her, I look directly ahead and see a full-length mirror in front of us.
“I’ve always wanted to do it, like this, with you.” Her admission is low and soft, but fuck does it pack a punch.
“Are you sure?” I have to make sure she wants this, I never want to hurt her. “In this position I’ll go deeper.”
“I hope so.” She gives me a naughty grin in the mirror.
I close my eyes because the visual is almost too much for me to take in. Running my hand along her ass, I dip between her thighs, feeling her heat. “You really want this.” It’s not a question, judging by the moisture on her thighs and the pulsing of her pussy. She wanted this fifteen minutes ago.
“Don’t take it easy with me, Rem. Show me what it can be.”
I thought I did that with us the first time, but I understand she wants an experience. And I can definitely give her an experience. Holding the base of my cock, I feed it into her body, grasping her around the hip to pull her completely back on me. Her ass rests in the cradle of my hips as I push completely into her heat.
“That what you want?” I growl as I hold the position, hold the depth, let her grind on it for a few seconds before I withdraw.
“Yes.” Her voice is guttural. I completely pull back, then press in with more force that I’d used before. She presses back against me, realizing she can help with the motion of our fucking. In the mirror, our eyes meet, and I see a fire within hers.
Maybe she needs me as much as I need her.
Hurricane Page 16
