by Megan Green
My phone rings, startling me out of my own thoughts. I laugh under my breath, realizing I was doing the exact thing I’d just been thinking about Lexi doing. I stand up from my crouched position, pulling my phone out of my pocket.
Ray’s name appears on the screen.
I look over at Lexi. She doesn’t seem to be paying attention, but I still don’t want to take the chance on her overhearing.
I call over to her, “Hey, I’ve gotta take this. Be right back.”
She waves, not looking up from the row of shingles she’s currently nailing in place.
I marvel once again at the independence and resilience of this woman—how many women would even climb up onto the roof, let alone actually nail shingles?—but quickly shake it off and climb down the ladder.
Ray’s call goes to voice mail by the time I reach the bottom, but instead of waiting to listen to the message, I immediately dial him back.
“Tag, when you didn’t answer, I got worried. Thought maybe you’d drowned in that lake. It’s not like you not to answer my calls.”
I take a cue from Lexi and roll my eyes. “I was busy. Believe it or not, I’m not waiting around by the phone for you to call.”
“Well, you should be. The fate of your career is in my hands. What could be more important than that?”
You don’t want to hear the answer to that, I think to myself. I keep quiet though and wait.
“Well, while you’ve been up in Bumfuck, Egypt, I’ve been working my ass off, trying to make sure you’ve still got a future in this business.”
He lets those words sink in, and I know he’s not going to continue until I respond.
“And you know I appreciate everything you do for me, Ray. So, tell me, what’s the word?”
I can hear the whoosh of air he intakes and can already tell it’s good news. He’s excited.
“You’d better be prepared to kiss my ass for the rest of your fucking life, kid. Because I not only got three of your sponsors back, but I also managed to book you a commercial with Nike.”
A rush of adrenaline floods through my veins, and I can’t stop the little whoop of excitement that escapes my lips. “Are you fucking kidding me right now, Ray? I swear to God, if you’re joking, I’m catching the first plane out of here and coming to kick your ass.”
“Dead serious. Angela has dropped off the face of the earth, and we’ve had a long parade of character witnesses doing interviews on your behalf. Mostly women who have attested to the fact that you were a perfect gentleman with them and how you’d never do the things Angela accused you of. Haven’t you been following the news?”
I reach up and run my hand over my head. “Uh, not in a few days. Internet connection up here is pretty shitty.” Not entirely true, but he doesn’t need to know that.
“Fucking boonies. Anyway, so it’s been nothing but good press for you during the last week or so. And, even before that, there was speculation that Angela was full of it. I guess this isn’t the first sexual assault charge she’s tried. She’s filed a few others against previous employers. All men with a lot of money and a lot to lose. All of them settled outside of court. Once word got out about that, people really started doubting her credibility.”
I fucking hate that Angela has done this. Not just to me, but to women everywhere. You always read these reports of women who don’t come forward after they’ve been actually assaulted—especially by a recognizable name—because they’re afraid nobody will believe them. Seeing women like Angela—women who try to use something as awful as sexual assault to their advantage—adds a little doubt to everyone’s mind. Now, instead of believing a woman when she says she was raped, they think, Well, that one girl accused so and so, and she was just trying to get money. I bet this is the same thing.
It’s a fucking disgrace.
I listen to Ray spout off the rest of the details, my excitement about the commercial growing with every word. Until he gets to the last part.
“And the best news is, your sabbatical is officially over. They want to start shooting next week. So, that means, you need to get your ass on a plane, so we can get you ready.”
My heart drops. As excited as I am about the prospect of a commercial, it doesn’t change anything about the way I feel about Lexi. And, if I leave her now, there’s no way in hell I’ll ever break through her walls.
“Uh, Ray, we need to see if we can push that out.”
He sputters, “W-what? It’s fucking Nike, Tag. You don’t try to push out Nike.”
“Well, we’re going to have to. There’s no way I can be in Seattle by next week.”
“You care to run that by me one more time?”
I sigh. “You heard what I said, Ray. I can’t be in Seattle next week. See if we can push it out until after Thanksgiving.”
Ray doesn’t say anything for several moments, instead breathing heavily into the phone. I can practically see him standing there, mouth hanging open at what I just said.
“Thanksgiving?” he finally shouts over the phone. “You’re lucky I even got you this gig, and now, you want me to reschedule until after Thanksgiving? That’s a month away. They’ll drop you faster than you can say finished.”
“Then, they’ll drop me,” I say, hating the sound of the words even as they leave my tongue. But that doesn’t mean I regret them. “And I know you. You won’t let one little deal gone south ruin me. Not after everything we’ve been through. There will be other opportunities.”
“I still can’t believe what I’m hearing. Care to tell me why you think you need to stay there in the bushlands of Fuck If I Know?”
I laugh. “Maple Lake. And it’s really not so bad, Ray. You’d like it here. The scenery is beautiful.”
“Oh, God. You’ve met a girl, haven’t you?”
My eyes flick up to the rooftop. I need to get back up there and help Lexi. The wind has already started to pick up, and I know we’re only a matter of hours away from the storm hitting.
Ray has been my agent since the day I signed my first contract. He knows me inside and out, so it doesn’t really surprise me that he’s able to see through my non-answers and surmise what is really keeping me in Maple Lake. But I’m not in the mood to listen to him tell me how stupid I’m being.
“Bye, Ray. Let me know what Nike says.”
I hang up and stuff my phone back in my pocket, climbing back up the ladder.
Lexi looks over at me when I reach the top. “I thought you were never coming back.”
I smile, not giving voice to my thoughts.
If I have it my way, I’ll never leave.
Chapter 15
Lexi
I bust through my front door, shaking off the layer of snow covering the entire top half of my body. Ian follows closely behind, mirroring my actions almost exactly.
The snow started about an hour ago, just a few flurries at first but quickly picking up into heavy flakes. We were so close to finishing the roof that we decided to suffer through the cold and finish. I might have hypothermia now, but at least I won’t have to worry about the roof collapsing this winter.
My hair is wet, and my sweatshirt is completely soaked through. I look over at my coat on the hook by the door, wondering why in the hell I hadn’t thought to put it on. I twist my long locks, trying to wring as much water from the strands as I can. When I’m done, I glance over my shoulder at Ian and find him running his fingers through his own wet hair.
“Let me get you a towel,” I say, reminded of the first time we met on the dock.
He was freezing cold and soaking wet then, too. Only this time, it’s my fault.
I shuffle into the bathroom, grabbing a fluffy towel from the linen closet before returning to the living room and handing it to Ian. “Feel free to stay and thaw out a bit. Or, if you’d rather get home and into a hot shower, I understand that, too.”
Ian looks up at me, his teeth chattering as he tries to smile. “I’m not ready to go back out there yet. If it’s okay with
you, I think I’ll hang out for a little while. See if I can get some feeling back in these toes.”
“Let me see if I can find some clothes that might fit you. I’ve got some old baggy T-shirts around here somewhere. You need to get out of those wet clothes.”
He looks down at his wet jeans and long-sleeved shirt. He hadn’t brought a coat over with him this morning either “If you’ve got something, that’d be great. If not, I’ll make do. You go get changed though. Don’t worry about me.”
I hustle off to my bedroom, shucking my clothes as soon as I’m out of Ian’s line of sight. Wrapping a large towel around me, I shudder, instantly feeling a million times better. Being cold sucks ass.
I revel in the warmth for a minute before kicking into action. If I leave Ian out there much longer, he’ll probably develop pneumonia and then I’ll have to live with the guilt of potentially killing my neighbor. I’ve got to have something around here that’ll fit.
I find a large pink sweatshirt I purchased several years ago for a Halloween costume. I wore it with a pair of pink leggings, sprayed my hair pink, and went as cotton candy. It was at least two sizes too big for me, which means it might fit Ian.
I smile at the idea of Ian pulling on the pink monstrosity. I can’t wait to see his face when I show it to him.
I dress swiftly, pulling on my favorite chunky sweater and a pair of wool leggings. Shoving my feet into my slippers, I scurry down the hall.
When I step into the living room, Ian’s back is to me, his arm bending over his head and pulling his shirt off. I inhale sharply, the sight of his bare skin causing the air to catch in my throat. I take a step back behind the wall of the hallway so that he won’t catch me watching him and slowly peer out.
The muscles of Ian’s shoulders ripple with each movement, his hand running the towel up and down each of his arms as he tries to get dry. The strong curve of his spine arches as he bends forward, giving me the perfect view of his lower back and ass, the soaked denim of his jeans leaving nothing to the imagination. I gulp as he straightens, marveling in the sinewy tension of each and every inch of his skin. The man is one hundred percent solid muscle.
And that’s just from behind.
I desperately want him to turn around, so I can see the show from the front. There’s no doubt in my mind that his abs and chest are even more impressive than the back. I’ve brushed past him a time or two over the last few weeks. I’ve felt how solid he is under those clothes. And, now, I want to see it.
A pang of guilt jolts through me at the fact that I’m standing here, ogling him without his knowledge. But the heat burning deep within my belly rapidly overshadows it. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a man like this. And, certainly, none of them were ever as impressive as Ian.
My breathing picks up as he unbuttons the clasp on his jeans, tucking the towel into the waistband. I slowly reach my hand out to the wall, pressing myself against it, needing the support of something in order to remain on my feet.
My mind flashes to the conversation I had with Ella yesterday. She called at the crack of dawn, saying she needed to talk to me before I got to work on the roof. And she sure as hell didn’t beat around the bush.
“So…Ian…”
“What about him?” I asked, not liking where the conversation was already going. It was too damn early for this. I hadn’t even had my coffee yet.
“I like him,” she said simply. “And I think you do, too.”
I tried to play it off. “Well, he’s a nice guy for helping me with the roof. Of course I like him.”
“Cut the bullshit. That’s not what I mean, and you know it.”
I sighed. “Look, Ells, I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“I want you to admit that you like him. You’re different with him. And I want you to admit that this has been going on for far longer than since yesterday. I saw you, Lex. I know you. You were more familiar with him than someone you just met yesterday.”
I groaned. “Ugh, fine. He’s been helping me out around the house for the past couple of weeks. But that’s all it is, Ella. He’s a nice guy who happens to know his way around a hammer and a paintbrush.”
“If that were all it was, then why couldn’t you take your eyes off him every time he spoke? When he left the room, why did your eyes follow him, the sad pout on your face like a kid whose puppy had been kicked?”
Laughter bubbled up from my chest, and I snorted. “Oh, please, Ells. You were here for five minutes. There’s no way you saw what you think you saw in the short time you were here.”
“It was half an hour, and it was long enough to see plenty. You forget how well I know you, Lexi. Even after the accident, when you fell into this weird funk, I was still able to read you like an open book. You think you do such a great job at closing yourself off. But you can’t hide from me. I’m your sister.”
Her words caused a tremble in my lower lip, and I pulled it in between my teeth in an attempt to stave off the tears.
And, as if driving home her previous point, Ella sighed, her voice softening when she spoke again, “I’m sorry, Lex, I didn’t mean to upset you. I just want to say that it’s okay. It’s okay for you to let go and move on. It’s okay for you to be happy. Yesterday was the first time I saw a genuine smile on your face in over eighteen months. It looked good on you.”
“It’s not fair to him though. He doesn’t know. And there’s no way I can tell him.”
Ella sighed deeply. “One of these days, you’re going to realize that you’re better than you think you are. You’re worth so much more than you allow yourself to feel. And the right man will see that. He’ll realize that, no matter how hard things might be at times or how dark your past is, you are worth it. You’re a treasure, Lex. And you can’t keep punishing yourself forever.”
She hung up shortly after, and I’ve been thinking about her words ever since.
Can I let myself be with Ian? Can I open up to him, tell him everything about my past, and hope he accepts me, scars and all? Can I allow myself to fall for the man who’s so obviously changed my life?
I still don’t know the answer to those questions, but as I watch him, half-clothed and completely unaware of my presence, I let myself imagine. I let myself picture it—what it would be like to actually be with him instead of constantly trying to push him away.
I picture myself walking over to him, my fingers trailing along the width of his back as I come around to his front. I imagine his smile, his dimples deep as he stares down at me, heat flaring in his eyes with every breath. I envision his strong hands cupping my face, tilting it back to give himself better access. And I imagine the warmth of his lips as they crash down on mine.
The sound of the towel hitting the floor pulls me out of my fantasy, and I quickly dart back down the hallway before he can turn and see me.
Ducking into the bathroom, I splash some cold water on my face, trying to cool the flush that has settled in my cheeks.
What in the hell was that, Lexi? You’re lucky he didn’t catch you standing there, watching him like a freaking Thanksgiving turkey being pulled out of the oven, the drool practically hanging from your chin. Get yourself together.
Knowing I can’t hide in here forever, I muster all the courage I have and open the bathroom door, mentally preparing to face the man who just unwittingly starred in my naughty daydream.
TAG
A loud cough from the hallway precedes Lexi’s reappearance. Her cheeks are slightly pink when I turn to face her, and she won’t look me in the eye as she hands me a giant pink sweatshirt and points down the hallway.
“The guest bathroom is right down there if you want to get changed. There are fresh towels under the sink. You can wrap one of those around your waist. We can toss your clothes in the dryer for a bit, so you don’t freeze to death on your way home.”
I smile at her awkwardness. I want to tease her about telling me where the bathroom is. I was in here for most of the day not too long ago, s
o I know my way around. But I hold off. I’m not sure why she’s suddenly so embarrassed, but I have to say, I like it. The way her eyes flick up to mine when she thinks I’m not looking, her shy smile when I catch her…if I didn’t know better, I might think she was…flirting.
I grab the pink eyesore and move to leave the room. Just before I step behind the wall leading down the hallway, I turn and look at Lexi over my shoulder. Her bottom lip is pulled between her teeth—a gesture I’m very familiar with at this point—but the look in her eyes is definitely new. Hidden behind hooded lids, the flash that ignites as she takes in my form…it almost looks like desire.
Surely, the cold from being outside has gone to my head. My brain must be frozen solid, causing me to see things that aren’t really there.
I head into the bathroom, making quick work of my wet clothes and tugging on the ugly sweatshirt before wrapping a towel around my hips. Anything I might’ve seen in Lexi’s face as I left the room will definitely vanish the minute she sees me in this getup.
And, to think, I was listed as one of People’s Sexiest Men Alive last year. If only they could see me now.
Sure enough, whatever I thought I saw before I left the room is nowhere to be found when I reenter it. Lexi is sitting on the corner of her couch, her chin resting gently on her fist as she stares off into space. When she hears the creak of the floorboard, her eyes dart up to mine, the thoughtful look in her eye disappearing as soon as she looks at me. It takes all of two seconds before she dissolves into a fit of laughter.
“Laugh it up, chuckles,” I say, striding across the room and sitting down next to her. I make sure to keep a safe distance between us, not wanting to make her uncomfortable and ruin the lighthearted mood that’s enveloped the room. “Need I remind you, you’re the one who actually owns this hideous thing?”
“Yes, but it was for a Halloween costume,” she says in between gasps of air. “Besides, I’m positive it didn’t look nearly as ridiculous on me as it does on you.”
