by Megan Green
She sits, propping herself up with some pillows and swinging her legs out before her. I place the tray over her lap, and she looks at the food.
“Looks like a normal breakfast to me. What’s so scary about it?”
“I made it,” I say with a wink.
She shoots me a bemused grin, rolling her eyes in what I’ve come to call her trademark look. On anybody else, it’d look bitchy as shit. But, on Lexi, it’s cute as hell.
Maybe I’m a little biased.
She dives into her food, and I sit on the edge of the bed, watching her eat.
When she realizes I’m not joining her, she sets down her fork. “You’re not eating?” she asks around a mouthful of food, her hand coming up to shield the offending morsels from sight.
I shake my head. “I snatched a couple bites downstairs while I was cooking. You go ahead.”
She scrunches her nose as she looks away from me to the food in her lap. I know she doesn’t like my answer, but I also know Lexi isn’t going to turn down breakfast.
In the past three days, I’ve seen this girl wolf down more food than half of the guys on my team. I have no idea where she puts it all, considering how tiny she is, but I have to say, it’s refreshing to watch a girl actually eat. Not pick at her food and claim she’s full after eating a crouton. Lexi can put it away like nobody’s business.
And, as expected, she shrugs after a moment, picking up her fork again and shoveling a large amount of eggs into her mouth.
I laugh as she struggles to close her mouth around it. “Calm down there, turbo. It isn’t gonna run away, you know. You don’t have to try to eat it all in one bite.”
She finishes chewing, giving me an embarrassed smile as she swallows. “Sorry. I haven’t been eating much lately. I forgot how good food could be.”
My brows furrow. “Um, what? How does one forget good food? You sort of need it to survive.”
She shrugs again. “I guess I haven’t had much of an appetite for a while. I eat what I need and sort of leave it at that. But, God, how I’ve missed bacon.”
I want to push further, find out why she hasn’t been eating. What happened to this girl to make her want to ignore such a basic human need as food?
I’ll admit, when things were first going down with Angela, my appetite fell by the wayside for a bit. But I quickly realized that wasn’t getting me anywhere. Starving myself hadn’t made Angela’s accusations go away. It’d just made me hangry.
But, despite the progress Lexi and I have made over the last couple days, I know that, if I push, she’ll shut down. I’ve made the mistake a few times already, thinking a question is innocent enough, only to see the walls slamming down behind her eyes as soon as the words are out of my mouth.
I’ve learned which topics are safe and which aren’t during all the hours we’ve spent together. And talking about her past is definitely off-limits.
That’s not to say it’s all been bad. Far from it actually. Aside from the occasional awkward silence and tense moment, the past three days have been amazing. I’ve seen Lexi smile and laugh more than I ever thought possible.
And the sex? Don’t even get me started on the sex.
Let’s just say, I’m surprised I can still walk after all the time we’ve spent in bed.
And in the kitchen…
The shower…
The hallway…
You get the picture.
Watching Lexi open herself up to me in that way is even more than I could have ever dreamed of. She might not trust me with her secrets yet, but she trusts me with her body. With the delicate part of herself that she’s so obviously kept hidden for far too long. And that almost means more to me than all the rest.
Almost.
I stand and clear the dishes after Lexi finishes up, smiling at her and letting her know I’ll be right back. I walk downstairs and rinse off the plate, my eyes going to the vast whiteness again as I let my thoughts consume me.
Last night, after we finished making love for the hundredth time, I rolled to the side and tucked her into my body.
Her voice was so gentle, barely above a whisper, as she spoke, “What’s it like?”
“Hmm?” I murmured against her ear.
“What’s it like?” she repeated. “Having all your dreams come true?”
Earlier in the day, I’d told her all about growing up with only one goal in mind. From the moment I’d picked up my first bat, I had known I was destined for the major leagues. There wasn’t any other option. Baseball was in my blood. And I wasn’t going to quit until it became my life.
Normally, when someone asked this question, I would play it off. I would try to be humble, telling the person that I was lucky and still wanted for plenty. But I’d dropped the pretense when I was around Lexi. Lexi didn’t know Tag, the professional baseball player. She knew Ian, the man who was grateful for everything he’d earned but wasn’t willing to brush off the sacrifice it’d taken to get there.
“I’d be lying if I said that I don’t wake up every morning, amazed that this is what my life has become. As a kid, I wanted nothing more than to play in the big leagues. And not a day goes by that I don’t thank my lucky stars that I am where I am.”
I felt her lips spread into a smile against my arm.
“I’m glad you have everything you’ve ever wanted.”
I propped myself up on my elbow, using my other hand to turn her face toward me. I looked down at her, the sadness in her eyes telling me her question was more than a flippant topic of conversation.
“My dreams came true, yes. But, Lexi, it took a hell of a lot of hard work and sacrifice on my end. While all my friends were hanging out and going to the prom, I was at the batting cages and in the field. Instead of spending my summers goofing off and mowing lawns, I spent my time fielding balls and strengthening my arm. I didn’t have many friends. And I certainly didn’t have time for girlfriends. My teen years and my time at college were spent studying and playing. There was nothing else.”
Her brow lifted, her mouth opening to say something but immediately snapping shut. It occurred to me that she didn’t know how to respond, and I realized how silly I must’ve sounded, complaining about things like missing prom and sleepovers when I had no idea what the woman beside me had gone through.
“I’m not telling you this because I want you to feel bad for me. I’m very aware that I’ve lived a blessed life. My parents never forced baseball on me. It was my choice, and I’ve never regretted it for a second. I don’t feel like I’ve missed out on anything, not really. I just wanted you to know that good things can happen to those who are willing to work for it. If you’re ready to put in the time and the effort, then you can accomplish anything, Lex. You’re bigger than this small town; I could tell that within minutes of meeting you. But there’s something holding you back, something you’re afraid of maybe. But you can’t be scared. Life is going to throw you curveballs. And there will be times you strike out. But, when the next curveball comes, all you can do is tighten your grip and swing for the fences. If you wait for the perfect pitch, you’ll find yourself back on the bench, sad and disappointed you didn’t take the risk. You’ll miss your chance for a grand slam.”
I expected her to rib me for my shoddy baseball analogies—I mean, how stereotypical can I be, professional baseball player talking about life as if it were a game?—but she didn’t. She simply closed her eyes and rolled away, facing the wall.
She’d been the one to bring up dreams, but when I’d tried to press her, telling her I knew she was destined for more than Maple Lake could offer, she’d shut down again.
But not before I had seen a flicker in her eye, telling me that, deep down, she did have dreams.
She has hopes for the future that she doesn’t dare give voice to. Out of fear, defeat, or simply because she doesn’t think she deserves them, I don’t know.
But, God, do I want to find out.
I want to see this girl, who’s completely taken over
my life, happy in every single aspect of hers. I want to see her thrive, flourish, and blossom into the amazing woman I know she can be. The amazing woman I know she was before whatever happened to make her close herself off from the world.
A creak on the stairs pulls me from my thoughts, and the smile that greets me makes me forget all about the maudlin conversation we had last night.
“You took so long, I started to worry. Thought maybe someone had come and stolen you away from me.”
She smiles coyly as she crosses the room, her legs bare, the only article of clothing on her body the button-down shirt that was tossed over the chair back in my bedroom. Only the bottom three buttons are buttoned, her breasts almost on full display, their weight swaying slightly with every step she takes. By the time she reaches me, my cock is rock hard in my shorts, the painful throbbing almost too much to bear with her nearly naked body right before me.
She doesn’t waste any time when she reaches me, her arms circling my neck as she pulls my face down to hers. Her mouth takes mine in a possessive kiss, her lips hard and firm against mine. I whirl her around, lifting her up onto the counter and wrapping her legs around my waist.
Her wet heat presses into me, and I surge forward at the knowledge she’s not wearing any panties. I bury my left hand in her hair, locking her face against my own as my right hand trails down her stomach to the sweet spot I’ve come to love so much.
The moan that rumbles against my lips when I find her center is the only sound I need to know that I’ve got her exactly where I want her.
Until a crash sounds from the living room, a loud voice causing me to spring away from Lexi like I was just caught with my hand in the cookie jar.
The world’s sweetest cookie jar.
“Ho, ho, ho, motherfucker. Santa’s come early. The fucking Nightmare Before Christmas has arrived.”
My head falls forward on my neck, the loud groan I felt since first hearing his voice escaping my lips.
Lexi hops off the counter, rushing to my side, panic wide in her eyes. “Who is it? Should I call the cops?”
I’m half-tempted to tell her yes. I mean, it has to be illegal to bust in and interrupt your buddy as he’s about to get some, right? The Cockblocker law. That’s a thing, isn’t it?
But I shake my head, pushing her behind me to keep her from view. “No. It’s just Brandon.”
And, as if summoning the devil himself, the second his name leaves my lips, the asshole appears. He stops short when he sees us in the kitchen, my bare chest on full display, my erection still half-evident in my gym shorts. And, when his eyes dart to Lexi hidden behind me, the shit-eating grin that spreads across his face is too much.
Before he can speak, I throw my arm out, pointing to the room behind him. “Out. Give me a minute to get Lexi upstairs.”
He stands there, as if my words don’t compute, smile widening further.
“Get. Out. I mean it, B. Get your ass out of this kitchen before I physically kick your ass out of it.”
He snaps out of his trance then, shooting me a knowing look before turning and walking back into the living room. “I’ll wait here. Hurry back, honey!” he shouts over his shoulder.
I roll my eyes, turning to Lexi and closing my hands around her arms. “Head upstairs, and get dressed. I’ll keep him busy for a bit. Then, come on down and meet the dumbass I like to call my best friend.”
She looks over my shoulder, toward the living room. “That’s the guy who owns this house?”
I nod. “Yep. And, trust me, he’s as stupid as he looks. Now, go put some clothes on. I don’t want to have to kill my best friend for thinking dirty thoughts about my girl.”
I ignore the flash of unease behind her eyes at my words, giving her a gentle shove toward the stairs and patting her on the ass.
She yelps, turning to shoot daggers at me. “Don’t do that with company in the house!”
I grin, giving her the full-on dimple effect. “It’s Brandon. He hardly counts as company. More like an unwelcome uncle you can’t wait to get rid of. Now, hurry up. If I have to come looking for you, who knows what might happen?”
I lean forward, giving her a quick peck on the lips. Hers stretch into a smile beneath mine, and she grins up at me before turning and skipping up the stairs.
Now, to deal with the cockblocker in the living room.
Brandon plops down on the couch next to Lexi, throwing his arm over her shoulders and pulling her into his side. “Now, tell me, Lexi, what does a gorgeous girl like you see in a fuckwad like Tag here?” he asks, gesturing to me with his beer bottle.
He takes a swig as I walk into the living room, having just cleared the dinner dishes from the table.
Margie and Charlie are sitting on the couch across from the two of them, the impromptu dinner party coming together after Lexi and Brandon started talking and B realized he’d yet to meet Charlie and Liv. And, being the social butterfly that he is, B couldn’t stand the idea of someone having friends that he didn’t.
Liv is supposed to stop by after she closes up the bookstore. I can’t wait to see the look on Brandon’s face when he meets her. Small, spritely, and cute as hell, she’s everything B would be attracted to at first sight. But, despite the way she looks, Liv can give a tongue-lashing like nobody’s business. And, if anybody deserves to be on the receiving end of one of her tirades, it’s Brandon Jeffers.
I walk across the room and hold my hand out to Lexi. She takes it without a word, letting me pull her to her feet. Brandon mocks offense, making an exaggerated gasping noise as he watches Lexi and me move to the chair between the two couches, her taking up residence on my knee.
“You wound me, woman. Taggart’s okay, I guess, when there’s no other option. But when you’ve got all this right in front of you?” He stops, waving his hand up and down his body. “There’s no contest.”
Lexi leans back against my chest, settling herself in my arms as she nuzzles her head against my neck. “I agree. There’s no contest.”
I shoot a smug grin at Brandon. “Why would she settle for ground beef when she’s got prime rib right here, man?”
Brandon rolls his eyes. “Fuck that. If you’re prime rib, then I’m fucking Kobe beef. Your girl just doesn’t know quality meat when she sees it.”
Charlie clears his throat. “Your prime rib, he’s Kobe beef, and I’m dried up old jerky. Now that we’ve got that settled, can we talk about something other than cuts of meat?”
Margie giggles, taking a sip from her wine glass. “And, unlike man meat, women are like fine wine. They only get better with age.” She lifts her glass in Lexi’s direction, who raises her water glass in response.
“Hear, hear.”
Charlie starts talking to Lexi about the new shipment of books they’re expecting tomorrow, and Margie joins in, asking about new releases and planning out her next week’s reading material. I zone out, not really a part of the conversation but not wanting to appear rude. B catches my attention with a wave, crooking his head toward the kitchen when my eyes meet his.
I nudge Lexi. “I’m gonna go clean up the kitchen with Brandon,” I tell her when she turns to look at me. I press a quick kiss to her forehead as I scoot her off my lap and join my friend in the kitchen.
Brandon turns the faucet on as soon as we’re within reach. After looking back over his shoulder to ensure nobody else is paying attention, he turns back to face me, his eyes lit with amusement. “Dude, you’re so whipped.”
I roll my eyes. “You’ve been here for, like, three seconds. You can’t say that.”
Brandon gives me a stupid smirk. “Oh, please. I’ve known you longer than anybody. You think I can’t tell when my best friend has it bad?”
I try to think of something to say, some way to tell him he’s wrong. But I can’t. Because he’s absolutely right. I’ve got it bad. So, so bad.
B gives my shoulder a brief squeeze. “It’s all good, man. I can’t say I blame you. I’ve only known her a few hours, b
ut she seems like a cool-ass chick.”
“She is,” I agree.
“She seems to make you happy,” B observes, his light tone deepening momentarily. “I haven’t seen you laugh this much in ages. Even before Angela.”
“She does.”
“But…” He trails off.
“But what?” I ask, already knowing where he’s going with this.
“But I haven’t forgotten our conversation a few weeks ago. And, judging from the delicate way you watch her, your eyes flying to her face every time somebody asks her a question, I’m guessing she still hasn’t told you what brought her here.”
I blow out a breath, bringing my hand to my brow and rubbing at the tension that’s been building there since Brandon showed up hours ago. “I don’t know what to do, man. On the one hand, I feel like I need to know. I need to know what it is she’s hiding because I can’t take another hit. If she’s hiding something that could potentially destroy my career after all we’ve done to get it back on track, then I feel like I should know.”
“But?” he says again, knowing I’m not finished.
“But, on the other hand, I don’t give a fuck. Whatever it is, it’s in the past. It’s obvious she’s remorseful. And it’s definitely something she’s ashamed of. Why drag up the past when it doesn’t matter? Nothing she says will change the way I feel for her.”
B’s mouth drops open, his eyebrows shooting up in a shocked expression. “Holy fuck. You love her.”
“I…no…you don’t…” I stammer over my words, trying to come up with some response to that observation.
But I can’t.
Because I fucking love her.
I’m not sure exactly when it happened. Hell, it might’ve been that first day when I crawled out of the freezing water and watched her assess me as I strode up her dock, looking like the biggest idiot on the planet. Or maybe it was when I caught her skipping down the street, singing a nursery rhyme at the top of her lungs. Or maybe it was a few days ago when she finally let me in and gave herself to me in the most beautiful way possible.
Whenever it was doesn’t matter. It doesn’t make it any less true.
