She should’ve, Jill realized as she thumped along in Ryan’s wake. Wild places had a lot of dangers, and she hadn’t been aware of all the possibilities.
Well, on the bright side, if she died up here, at least she’d finally lived.
She’d gotten way out of her comfort zone, and now she could see how deep a rut it had become. Financial realities might have forced the change, but now she couldn’t believe how long she’d continued to do the same things with no thought to the future or what she wanted out of life besides a steady income.
That was all over now. If she got home in one piece, things would be different. Not just at work. No more predictable choices, no more boring sex.
Jill flashed on Ryan, intense and focused on her, hard inside her, and almost stumbled. If sex had always been like last night, she’d never have been willing to forgo it for months or years at a time.
Ryan. Her chest constricted painfully. If anything happened to Ryan because he’d had the misfortune to stand next to her at the wrong time in the wrong place, she’d never forgive herself. Determination not to slow him down, not to endanger him further, kept her going when her body begged for rest.
The descent seemed to take forever. They dropped to the meadow where they’d planned to camp, and kept going. The trail started to climb again past that point, turning rocky. Then finally down again, to the relief of her burning lungs and muscles. When they came out to a meadow that reached to the tree line, Ryan said over his shoulder, “Past this it’s pretty much all downhill or flat the rest of the way.”
Jill nodded in answer, saving her breath. Pretty much meant she’d still have to climb at least a little, but the worst should be behind them.
The trail went on forever. They came over a little rise, and Ryan pointed and said, “Heart Lake. The trail switches back, and then down to a river crossing.”
“Right.” She’d already encountered a few of the log bridges. They could be slippery, so the crossing would mean slowing down.
Meanwhile, keep one foot in front of the other, keep her balance, watch for roots or anything that could trip her.
Ryan put his hand out in front of her to stop her when they reached the shallow water. “Log’s gone.”
Jill stared at the expanse of water. “Shit.”
“Come on.” He took her hand and they went for it, splashing through, stepping carefully on the wet rocks that shifted underfoot.
“My boots are not waterproof,” Jill panted out.
“You wore wool socks, right?”
She nodded.
“Good. They’ll keep your feet warm even when they’re wet.”
That was something. Although the wet wool was probably going to chafe like hell. Still, potential raw spots on her feet were the least of her problems.
They got to the other side and kept going, through subalpine forests and meadows, another log bridge, and the trail turned rocky again. When the forest thickened around them, Jill felt less exposed but that didn’t mean danger wasn’t right behind them. The lack of signs of pursuit actually made her feel more twitchy, instead of safe. If they were jumped now, would she be too tired to fight or run away? The unrealized threat abraded her nerves.
Down, down, and finally there was the roar of Sol Duc Falls and the shelter they’d stopped near, about a million years ago. Or had that been yesterday?
No screwing around with taking the long way now. Ryan led off through a flat, easy trail, came out at the parking lot he’d mentioned, and kept going down the road to Sol Duc Resort, where they’d started.
Jill jumped every time a car passed them on the road, fearing drug dealers instead of tourists, but nobody shot at them, so they must have beat them on the trail.
Once back at the cabins, Ryan recaptured her camera and dragged her along to report the incident to the rangers, who coordinated with law enforcement to handle the matter.
When she realized her camera was evidence, she felt a pang of loss. She’d wanted to at least have a picture to remember Ryan by. She filled out her address and crossed her fingers, hoping she’d get it back.
Half an hour later, she was submerged in the pool, absorbing the heat from the hot springs and letting it soak away the aftereffects of exertion. Nothing seemed to relieve her hyperalert senses. Would she be starting at shadows a week from now? She felt simultaneously keyed up and exhausted. She’d run down a mountain. With a backpack on. Her, Jill Martin.
And after getting her to safety, Ryan had gone back out to help the rangers try to catch the bad guys. If she had any illusions about her ability to keep up with him, that shot it down. She might not have it in her to climb out of the pool and walk to her cabin, and he was out there putting himself on the line so she could sleep tonight without fear that the men she’d waved at would find her and make sure she didn’t wake up.
And probably also because he saw it as the right thing to do. How many people would be willing to do the right thing when it was that hard?
Ryan was a good man, as strong on the inside as he was on the outside, in a way that had nothing to do with muscles or stamina. Please, she prayed to whatever power might listen, don’t let anything happen to him. Let him be safe.
She woke to pounding on her cabin door after falling into a fitful doze. Jill staggered to it, wearing the sweats she’d gone to bed in, so sleep-fogged she almost opened it before she remembered why that might be a bad idea.
“Who’s there?” she called through the panel.
“Ryan.”
That cleared the fog. Jill fumbled with the lock and flung the door open and Ryan came through it. He dropped his pack with a thud.
She wrapped her arms around herself to keep from flinging them around him, in case that wasn’t a welcome overture. “Is it over?”
“It’s over. Bad guys in custody, drugs in evidence. I just wanted to tell you.”
“Thank God,” Jill said, feeling weak with relief. “You must be exhausted. The bed’s this way.” Too late, she realized he might have other plans. “Or did you rent another cabin?”
“I didn’t think of it before I left, and it’s too late now.”
Oh. “Well, we can share. If you want.”
“I want.”
“Okay.” She crawled back into bed while he undressed. He joined her and flopped on his back, then reached for her.
“Come here.”
She went, snuggling close, loving the feel of his arm around her shoulders. “I can’t believe today happened,” she said. “It doesn’t seem real.”
“Your feet are probably throbbing with reality,” Ryan said in a dry tone.
“I’m not going to be wearing high heels any time soon,” Jill agreed. “If I’m kind to my feet for the next month, they might forgive me.”
Talking about shoes was better than bursting into tears because he was here and he was safe and so was she. Jill tried to swallow the well of emotion, but it wouldn’t subside.
“I owe you a refund for your last day,” Ryan said. “Since your trip got cut short.”
“I owe you danger money,” Jill countered. “My God, Ryan, anything could have happened to you. And then you went back out there to help hunt them down.”
His shoulders moved in a shrug. “I knew the terrain, I knew the spot they’d made the drop, I knew what they looked like.”
He made it sound simple, inevitable.
“I’m sorry I almost got you killed today,” she said finally.
“Hey.” His arm tightened around her in a comforting squeeze. “It was not your fault. You weren’t the one committing a crime.”
“No, I was just the idiot who smiled and waved.” She’d wanted to smack herself in the forehead about a million times since.
“Well, next time you’ll recognize a drug drop when you see one.”
Jill shuddered. “Once was enough, thanks.”
She felt his lips brush her hair. “I’m sure you’ll be safe from now on. Criminals are easier to spot in the big city.”
The thought of being safe should’ve been comforting. But going back to the big city meant going back to her normal life, and her normal life didn’t include the man she was curled up in bed with.
You knew this was coming, Jill chided herself. She’d come here with a goal—reinvention and business success. Anything else was a bonus.
The sense of loss that wrenched her wasn’t the kind of bonus she’d had in mind, but apparently that was the price she had to pay for adventure.
She thought of Ryan safe beside her tonight, not safe at all inside her last night. She told the gaping hole that had opened up in her stomach it was worth it.
Morning came too early. Jill stretched, groaned, and flopped over, remembering too late to be more careful since she hadn’t fallen asleep alone. Except Ryan wasn’t in bed beside her. She sat up and rubbed her eyes, peering around the cabin. Empty. Then the door opened and he came in, dressed and looking pretty much exactly the way he had the first time she’d laid eyes on him.
She probably looked like she’d been dragged backwards through a bush. Jill reached up to smooth her hair then gave up. “Good morning.”
“Morning.” His eyes warmed a little, taking her in, but he didn’t step closer.
If he wasn’t going to rejoin her in bed, she wanted to put them on equal footing. Literally. So Jill got up, stretched, and tried not to wince. Even though he was in better shape, he’d put in more miles than she had yesterday. No wonder he hadn’t woken her up for a quickie.
“What do we do for breakfast?” The restaurant wouldn’t be open, but there had to be another option.
“Your best bet is probably a stop in Port Angeles on your way back to the airport.”
Jill felt her brows rise. “Am I leaving?”
“I think that would be best. I’ll refund your last day.”
It was absurd to feel disappointed. She should be looking forward to her return to civilization and comfort. She should be grateful for the out. No more eerie silence, no more sitting on rocks to rest.
No more views to steal her breath. No more Ryan.
“I was thinking of spending a little time here, maybe hitting the other side of the highway to see Lake Crescent,” Jill said.
“There’s a nice, easy trail there that goes over the Devil’s Punchbowl if you decide to stop and take a walk around.”
But Ryan didn’t offer to go with her.
Well, maybe it was for the best. Jill made a noncommittal sound and searched out her shoes. While she put them on, she looked around for her gear.
“I put it in the trunk for you,” Ryan said, rightly interpreting the object of her quest.
“Oh. That was thoughtful.” And clear. They were all done here. Well, she’d gotten what she came for. It was time to go.
He shepherded her through the checkout process and into her rental car. For a minute, she thought he might say something, kiss her, but then he pulled back and walked away and the something that might have been glimmering in his eyes was lost.
The sense that she’d lost her balance somehow had her gripping the steering wheel hard. She’d focus on driving, and then she’d go home. Once on familiar territory, she’d feel like she had her feet under her again.
But once home, the ground continued to shift under her. Business picked up beyond her most optimistic projections, proving her strategy sound. It wasn’t as satisfying as she thought it would be. Her career was on track, but she couldn’t escape the sense that she’d let her life go off-track when she let Ryan push her away.
They’d faced the ultimate danger together. Couldn’t they face the possibility of a future? Which was easier, braving a physical threat for a few heart-stopping hours, or risking her heart for the long term?
Chapter Eight
“You’re late. Your tourist is waiting for you on your porch.”
Ryan lifted a hand in acknowledgement to his elderly neighbor as he picked up the mail and headed up the gravel drive toward his house on the Sol Duc.
He’d agreed to take a client beach hiking in October. He’d included a warning about the weather—storms lashed the Pacific wilderness coast from October through January. But the person wouldn’t be put off. Who was it? Mr. Jones, or something generic like that. Ryan tried to remember and couldn’t, which made him impatient with himself.
He’d been distracted ever since he’d taken Jill Martin through the High Divide and nearly lost her there. The close call had taken years off his life. If the men she’d seen hadn’t been caught, he would never have had another minute’s rest in his life, worrying that they’d track her down. He’d sent her home, safe and in one piece, but she haunted his thoughts, turning up at the damndest times.
Like now. His client was turning around, and he could almost see the curve of her face, those soft pink lips… Ryan halted abruptly as Jill finished turning to face him.
“Mr. Jones. Have you had a sex change operation?”
She gave him a half-smile and hugged herself, possibly for warmth. It was a chilly day, and the wind and rain made it feel colder than it was. “No, but I wanted to see you and I thought it’d go better if I booked your services.”
“You could have used your own name.”
The half-smile vanished. “The way you packed me off and sent me home didn’t lead me to think you’d accept a booking from me. And I didn’t want to just show up on your doorstep.”
But she’d come anyway. Ryan walked towards her, unable to keep distance between them. “I refunded your last day.”
Her chin firmed, her mouth tightened, and something dire flashed in her gray eyes. “I told you I didn’t want a refund.”
“What do you want, then?”
Jill gave him a measured look. “I want my last day.”
“Beach hiking. In October.”
“Yes.”
“There’s a storm due to hit tomorrow,” he pointed out. “It’s going to be cold, wet, and windy as hell. Depending on how bad it gets, you could get stuck here. Trees go down when the wind blows. Power outages can last for days. Slides can close the road.”
“And the four horsemen of the apocalypse can ride into town, I get it.” She made a face at him. “I know you think I’m a wimp, and maybe I am, but I’m here and you’re not getting rid of me.”
“Lost another bet?” He stepped up onto the porch and stopped there, so he wouldn’t close the last bit of distance between them, kiss her breathless, and then take her up against the rough log wall of his house because it might take too long to open the door.
“You know perfectly well I was lying about that.”
“Yes, but you never did tell me why you were there.” He’d wondered, though.
Her shoulders moved in a tiny shrug. “I’m a travel agent. Business was in the toilet. I had to reinvent myself and my offerings or go swirling down the drain. People are less into luxury vacations, more into adventure travel and the great outdoors.”
“Ah. You’re selling trips to the Sol Duc resort.” Now it made sense. She couldn’t sell what she didn’t know firsthand. “Smart choice. People who stay at Sol Duc can get a taste of the national park with minimal inconvenience, or they can use it as a base to hike into the wilderness and get the full experience.”
“Right.” Jill blew out a breath. “There was more to it than that, though. The business crisis made me realize I was only succeeding when it was easy. I was playing it safe, not taking risks. Not pushing myself. So I decided to change that.”
“I’d say you succeeded.”
She inclined her head in a nod of acknowledgement.
“So you’re going to branch out to coastal tours?”
Jill eyed him. “I’m not sure.”
“Did you actually come here to go hiking?” If she had, if she had no interest in him whatsoever, he was going to find her another guide, because there was no way he could be alone with her and maintain a professional demeanor for any length of time. Already his control was stretching thin.
Her soft mouth firmed. “I came to see you.” She flung her hands wide. “I have no pride, okay? I made up a phony name and an excuse to come here so you’d have to talk to me for at least five minutes, because if nothing else, I’d get to see you for five minutes, and hear your voice, and then I’d know.”
“Know?” Ryan stared at her, trying to make sense of her outburst.
“If it was all in my head. Or if this was really never going to go away.” Her lower lip trembled, but her voice stayed firm. “And now I know. It’s not going away.”
“You make it sound like Lyme disease.” He wasn’t sure if he should laugh or hit something.
“Well, that’s love for you.” She said the word baldly and waited for his reaction.
“You’re not in love with me,” he returned. “We had great sex, and you went home before the chemistry had time to wear off.”
That was all it was. And chemistry didn’t last, but huge personal differences did. So what if he thought of her at odd moments during the day and dreamed of her at night. He’d even started to contact her more than once, only to stop himself because it couldn’t lead to anything, and fooling himself about that would just hurt both of them in the end.
He might be willing to risk the pain for himself, but hurting Jill wasn’t acceptable.
“It’s not chemistry. Well, not just chemistry.” She squared her shoulders and stepped closer to him. “Chemistry doesn’t turn your blood to ice because you don’t know if the other person is safe, and doesn’t turn the ice to water in an instant when you find out they are. Chemistry doesn’t make you wonder how he’s doing, or what he’s doing, or if he’s happy.”
“You want to know if I’m happy?”
Her eyes bored into his. “Are you?”
“Of course I’m happy,” he snapped. “I live alone, I answer to nobody, I take the jobs I want to take and when I’m not on a job, I can please myself.”
“You don’t sound happy.”
She was going to be the death of him. “I’m happy,” he repeated through gritted teeth. “Now, if that’s all, you should go home before the storm traps you here. Skip the beach, you’ll like it better in the summer.”
Adventure Lover: Take Me, Lover, Book 3 Page 6
