by Donna Alward
“I can see why.”
She looked at him and noticed the food had dried on his shirt. “Would you like to change that, Cole? I think I still have one of Gavin’s old sweatshirts around here somewhere.”
He looked down. “I’m fine. It’s just a little food.”
“It’s no trouble, really.” She’d given most of Gavin’s things away, but she’d kept his law school hoodie. He’d loved it and she couldn’t bear to part with it. No matter what he’d done.
She went to the bedroom and got it out of the closet. Considered for a moment. It was just a hoodie. She wasn’t transferring any feelings for Gavin to Cole. She knew that with certainty as she held it in her hands, felt the thick, soft fabric in her fingers. Gavin was gone. Maybe she should just let go and move on. And lending a sweatshirt didn’t have to have any deeper meaning than that.
Back in the living room, Cole’s lap was nearly empty and Liam was standing rubbing his eyes. She handed Cole the shirt. “Here, you can borrow this. It’s the least I can do considering you’re wearing my son’s supper.”
Cole grinned. “Thanks.”
“I’m going to get them each a bottle. They still like one at night before bed. I’ll be back in a few minutes, okay?”
“Sure. We’re just going to hang out here, right, guys?”
Luke went over to Cole, plopped down on his leg and started to babble.
He liked her sons. And her sons clearly liked him.
She filled the bottles and was heading back to collect the boys when she stopped dead in her tracks. Cole was changing out of his shirt, probably thinking she was in the kitchen and he had privacy. Maybe she should turn around and go back...but she didn’t.
He stood in front of the sofa and unbuttoned the denim shirt, starting with the cuffs and then down the front. When he shrugged it off her mouth went dry. She’d known he was lean, but he had muscles everywhere. It was winter and his skin had lost its summer tan, and his pecs had a sprinkling of dark chest hair. He reached for the hoodie and she watched, fascinated, as his shoulder muscles shifted and bunched with the simple movement. Arms went inside sleeves, his head poked through the top, and the shirt slid down over his flat belly.
Whew. There was no denying that she was attracted to him in the most elemental way possible. Sure, she’d found him nice and kind and good with her kids...but just now, as she’d watched him change, she’d responded like a woman.
It felt good. Really good.
Maddy cleared her throat and put on a bright smile as she stepped into the room as if nothing had happened. “Okay, who’s ready for a bottle?” she asked.
Both boys ran to her and she laughed as she sat on the sofa, making room for each of them beside her. “Go get a book, Liam,” she said, and Liam turned around and picked up one of their favorites from the pile, called Bear Feels Scared.
“Come on up, pumpkin,” she said softly, hefting them up beside her and giving them each their bottle. “Okay. Ready?”
She was a little self-conscious as she read the story, knowing that Cole was listening, too, but this was part of their nighttime ritual, and she loved reading to her kids. As all of Bear’s friends found him again, Liam crawled down off the sofa and got another book, a longer one called Are You My Mother? By the time she finished that one, eyelids were getting droopy and most of the milk was gone.
“I’m going to try to get them settled in bed,” she murmured, looking over at Cole. He was sitting a few feet away, in the corner of the couch, his ankle crossed over his knee. The hoodie made him look cozy and comfortable and sexy in a weird, casual sort of way.
“Need help?” His voice was deep in the quiet of the room.
“I’m okay. I’ll be back out in a few minutes. I hope.” And he’d be waiting, wouldn’t he? And they wouldn’t have the twins between them, or be in a coffee shop, or have his brother sitting at the kitchen table.
They’d be alone.
She swallowed against the sudden nervousness that rushed through her.
She picked up Liam, who was fading faster than Luke, and then reached out for Luke, who helped by putting his hands up and around her neck.
They slept in separate cribs, and Maddy had a rocking chair situated in between them. Tonight, though, with the busy afternoon, short nap and fun evening, they both seemed tired and ready to be tucked in. She covered them with their blankets, tucked their favorite stuffed animals around them and made sure the night-light was turned on. And then, when everything was quiet, she began to sing in a soft voice.
Luke stared up at her with wide eyes, as if absorbing every single syllable of the lullaby. Liam’s lashes began to flutter straight away, and he rubbed his eye for a second before shoving his thumb in his mouth. Maddy knew from experience that once he was asleep, his lips would slacken and his thumb would pop out, forgotten.
When the song was done, she made sure she said, “Good night, sweeties,” as she always did. Keeping to the routine seemed to help them settle.
And then, with her heart pounding madly, she left the bedroom, closed the door quietly behind her and returned to the living room.
The single corner lamp was burning, enveloping the room with a cozy glow. Cole was sitting in the same spot, his head leaned back against the cushion of the sofa, his ankle still crossed over his knee. “Get them to bed okay?” he asked quietly.
She nodded. “They were tired. It’s been a busy day today, and tonight they had an audience for their antics.” She smiled, stepped closer. “It’s a big compliment, you know. Them wanting you to see all their toys. You’re in the club.”
He chuckled. “I can see why you’re so crazy busy, though. My mom always said the two of us were four times the work of each of us individually.”
“Sometimes,” Maddy admitted. “And sometimes they have each other to keep themselves occupied and it gives me a break. I’m quite a bit younger than my brothers, John and Sam. They both left home when I was barely a teenager. We weren’t that close, but I think Liam and Luke will be.”
“And what about other kids? Do you want any?”
She sat down beside him, her pulse thundering in her ears. “That’s...well, putting the cart before the horse. I haven’t really thought about it much. That would mean I’d be remarried.”
“Too soon, huh,” Cole said.
“I like to ease into these things,” she replied, and then laughed a little. “Cole, we have the strangest conversations. And I’m sorry I talk about the kids so much. It must get terribly boring.”
“It’s not.” He moved his arm so it rested along the back of the sofa. “Believe me. The last girl I dated used to be a pageant queen. It probably sounds awful for me to say, because she was a nice girl for the most part. But when she launched into a good old pageant-days story, my eyes kind of glazed over.”
Hmm. The last girl. She seemed to remember him being fairly serious about someone several years ago, though she couldn’t quite remember the details. Now that she thought about it, she couldn’t remember him being paired up with anyone since. Not for any amount of time. She wondered why.
He shifted lower in the corner of the sofa. “Come on over here and relax a little.”
She was shy and nervous both as she wiggled closer to him on the sofa and tentatively leaned back against his shoulder. It was strong and warm and he left his arm along the sofa rather than dropping it down, keeping the embrace open. He was letting her take it slow, she realized, and she released a long breath.
“There,” he said, a bit of humor touching his voice. “Nothing bad happened.”
She laughed a little. “Sorry. I’m a bit nervous.”
“Me, too. But it’s just talking on the couch. Baby steps, remember?”
She nodded. He really did feel lovely and warm and cozy. She snuggled in a bit closer and this t
ime his arm did come down from the top of the sofa and curled lightly around her. She closed her eyes. It had been so long since she’d been held. And with Cole it was only a little bit scary.
“Good?”
“Mmm-hmm.” She closed her eyes. “Cole, why me? I mean, I’ve got baggage. A lot of it. And I’m prickly. I know it.”
He chuckled and she felt the vibration of the sound through his chest and into her back. “Maybe I like a challenge. Besides, you’re not the only one with baggage,” he admitted. Before she could ask what he meant, he continued on. “Listen, what happened to you just made you cautious, that’s all. You’re not prickly. You’re scared. I would be, too.”
They let the thought sit for a few minutes, and then Cole spoke again. “I don’t know, Maddy. I saw you that night at the library and I got thinking about how you’re young and pretty and so damned strong and then...and then I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
She turned a bit in his arms so that she could peer up into his face. “So the job offer? Was it because you were interested in dating me and that was your way in the door?”
He blushed. She saw the color infuse his cheeks, but his gaze held steady on hers. “That sounds so shallow. I just wanted to give you a helping hand because I like you. Christmas is such a rough time. Lots of people take on extra work over the holidays to help with expenses, you know.”
And she’d considered just that, except she’d worried about babysitting. She nodded her acknowledgment and sat back in his arms again. “I know. And I appreciate it. To be honest, the last thing I was looking for was a date. But here we are. Maybe it just snuck up on both of us.”
He shifted on the sofa, then turned her so she was facing him better. In the soft light she could make out the tiny scar just above his right eye, the way his irises seemed outlined with a black ring, the bow shape to his lips. She licked her own lips, which suddenly felt dry, and saw his gaze drop to where her tongue had wet the surface. Desire surged through her, terrifying by its very presence and exhilarating at the same time.
“It snuck up on me for sure,” he admitted quietly. “You snuck up on me.” And before she could think of anything to say, he dipped his head and touched his mouth to hers.
He was gentle, and took his time, and simply let himself linger for a while, teasing her lips with his until she felt herself start to relax a bit. She hadn’t kissed anyone other than Gavin in...a lot of years. This felt different, strange and new, but exciting, too. As though she was transported back to a different time, when she was nineteen again or maybe twenty. There was a delicious flutter in her stomach and she tentatively lifted her hand and touched her fingers to the hair just above his ear.
That simple touch was all it took for Cole to shift his weight a little, moving closer to her on the sofa, intensifying the kiss and taking it a bit deeper.
It blossomed into something beautiful.
Cole’s arm slid around her ribs, his wide palm on the hollow of her back as he pulled her close. Maddy lifted her arms and twined them around his neck, opening her lips a little to let him in. There was desire between them but something more, too. She couldn’t label it, but when Cole smiled against her lips, something in her heart rejoiced.
And when their mouths parted, he pulled her in close and just held her there in a hug. The backs of her eyes stung at the tenderness in his embrace.
“Was that okay?” he murmured softly.
She nearly said it was perfect, but truthfully she was a bit shaken by it all and didn’t trust herself not to sound like an idiot, so she merely nodded.
“Want to try it again?”
She did, so much. So much, in fact, she thought it was probably a good idea if they didn’t. “Baby steps,” she whispered, resting her cheek on the curve of his shoulder. “I have a lot to think about.”
He moved his head so it angled down to look at her. “Don’t think too hard, okay? You’re likely to talk yourself out of...well, whatever.”
“You might be surprised.” She lifted her chin. “I wasn’t expecting this, Cole. I need some time to process. That’s all.”
“Sure.” He ran a finger down her cheek. “Can’t blame a guy for wanting more of a good thing.”
And oh, wasn’t that a lovely confidence boost?
“Can I tell you a secret?” she asked, feeling a little insecure but wanting him to understand.
“Of course.”
“After Gavin died, and I heard the rumors, I...I wondered if maybe I was undesirable. If that’s why he went to her.”
His gaze softened. “Honey,” he said, his voice smooth as silk, “you are one of the most desirable women I’ve ever met.”
She laughed then. “You don’t have to lay it on thick, Cole.”
The soft look in his eyes hardened, and he sat back, taking her by the arms. “Look at me,” he said firmly, and she obeyed. “Don’t mistake me here. I know you want to move slow, and when you say slow down, I slow down. That has nothing—absolutely nothing—to do with what I want.”
Her eyes widened and her chest cramped. He was so commanding right now, and she found it incredibly sexy. Cole was easygoing as far as she knew, but right now there was an intensity about him that was awesome.
“Maddy,” he said, and his fingers tightened on her arms. “You’re not ready, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to kiss you again. To touch you.” His eyes searched hers. “To carry you to your bed and make love to you.”
“Cole,” she murmured, awed and frightened at the same time. Not frightened of Cole, but of the fire that sparked to life between them as he said the words. Common sense was the only thing keeping her from throwing herself at him right now, peeling off that hoodie, feeling his skin on hers.
“You’re desirable, Maddy, and don’t you ever doubt it. And now I think I’d better go before we do get in over our heads.”
But before he got up from the sofa, he put a hand along her cheek, rubbing his thumb on her cheekbone. And he smiled a little smile, one that went right to her heart. In that moment she realized that she couldn’t have asked for a better person for her first romantic involvement after Gavin. And it wasn’t just because he was sweet and sexy. Cole Hudson was kind and generous. He was a good man. And when Maddy was with him she felt safe.
She walked him to the door and got his coat off the peg as he pulled on his boots. “Thank you for supper,” she said quietly, holding out the jacket so he could put his arms in.
“Thank you for the whole evening,” he replied, shrugging it over his shoulders.
“Even the food on your shirt?” she joked, but he nodded.
“Especially the food on my shirt. Highlight of the night.”
He was teasing again and she liked it, a lot. “Oh, really. I guess I know where I fit, then.”
And then he surprised her. His arms came around her so fast she barely had time to react, and he planted a searing kiss on her mouth that made her weak in the knees and stole the breath from her lungs.
“That should clear up any confusion,” he replied once he’d let her go.
Dazed, she stared up at him. “Okay, wow.”
A grin spread across his face. “Thanks. There’s more where that came from, just say the word.”
“Get going, you nut.”
He had his hand on the doorknob when she stepped forward. “Cole?”
“Yeah?” He turned back.
“Did you still want to, you know, help me get the tree inside tomorrow?”
His eyes glowed at her as he nodded. “If you’d like.”
“Come around one thirty or so. That’ll give me time to dig out the stand and stuff.”
“Sounds good.” He nodded again. “Good night, Maddy.”
“Good night.”
She watched him go down the walkway
to his truck and climb inside. Once he was gone she closed the door and rested her back against it, trying to process everything that had happened today. She touched her fingers to her lips, feeling them tremble there just a bit. She’d had a date. A date! And the boys had been good and she’d been kissed and she was going to see him again...
Forget the tree outside. This was tantamount to a Christmas miracle!
Chapter Eight
It didn’t take Cole long to figure out he was in big, big trouble.
He sat on the edge of his bed and put his head in his hands. Kissing Maddy had been a mistake. He’d foolishly made that comment on the wagon ride about wanting to spend time with her, testing the waters for her reaction. And he hadn’t actually expected her to accept his offer of supper, low-key as it was.
He really hadn’t prepared himself for how she’d looked when she came out of the bedroom after putting the boys to bed. Her sweater was soft and her hair a little bit mussed from dealing with the twins. He’d heard her singing in there, too, in the dark, and when she’d come out she’d had a contented, sleepy look about her. Cuddling on the couch had been the start, but her kisses...man, she kissed like an angel. All light and sweet and soft and with a pliancy that made a man want far more than he should expect.
She was so different from Roni. That fact had really hit home last night, leaving him temporarily defenseless. Roni’s life had been dull and loveless, and he’d wanted to open her eyes to something more, to show her all the possibilities life had to offer. But Maddy’s situation was different. She already knew love and kindness. She showed it every day in the tenderness and devotion to her kids, in the little things she did, the care she gave others. And that nurturing spirit was what drew him in and made him forget all his self-cautions about getting too close.
Now he was acting like a damned teenager, sitting on his bed and wondering what the hell to wear to her house to put up a Christmas tree.
