Eve picked up on the second ring. “Amantha, is that you? Is everything okay?”
“I have reason to believe someone is headed to your house. Do you want me to call the police?”
“Handsome fellow, big muscles, killer smile?” She asked.
“What? You know him?”
“His name is Jensen Weatherly. He contacted us several years ago about renting the house for the winter. We didn’t want to do it at first, but Bob called him a few months back to see if he was still interested. We think it would be best if someone was staying there when we can’t. Did he introduce himself? We told him you were up there all alone with your son.”
“You what?” I was immediately beginning to have a panic attack. This couldn’t be happening to me. “I have to go, Eve. I just wanted to make sure he wasn’t robbing you.”
“Heavens no. We don’t have anything of value there anyway. We learned our lesson. He seems like a nice guy. He paid six months rent in advance. Maybe you two will have something in common.”
This was a freaking catastrophe. How in the world was I supposed to face him? He’d figure out Christopher was his. He probably already had.
I suppose I could have told her he was one of the men who broke into her house, but now I wasn’t so sure. It would have been an easy way to get rid of him, but something in my heart wouldn’t let me do it, not yet at least. As much as I hated the idea, I needed more answers, and it was going to require us to come face to face again.
“I’ll keep in touch, Eve. Christopher just woke up.”
I didn’t wait for her to respond. I closed out the call and turned my phone off again.
“This can’t be happening.” I said out loud.
Not only was this man staying close, but he also knew I had a child.
His child.
I sunk down to the floor and started bawling. I’d slept with the man who was married to the woman who caused my families’ deaths. It was convoluted, and unbelievable.
Why was it that the only man to come in contact with me was the last person I’d ever want to be involved with?
The more I thought about it, the harder it was to grasp. It was obvious Jensen had sought me out, and now more than ever I needed to know why. What did he have to gain?
Before I could fly out the door and yell his name down the mountain, I heard the sound of little feet running. Christopher was awake and he’d climbed from his lowered bed and come down the stairs. I’d taught him to do it on his butt, because I was petrified he’d fall down them and hurt himself. With Ava following behind, he rounded the corner and stopped when he spotted me. “Mama.”
I wiped my tears away. “Hey, buddy. I didn’t know you were awake.”
“Mama cry?” He noted.
“I’m okay. Are you thirsty? I’m sure you need a diaper change.”
“No!” He took off, trying to climb back up the stairs. If the child could live in a soiled diaper he would. It was disgusting. I found it hysterical when I knew he’d pooped and he would steady deny it, even after I removed it and showed it to him. I’d picked up a potty chair in hopes he’d learn, but all it did was collect dust. Sometimes my little smarty pants kid would pour juice in it and show me, like I’d think he used it. What kind of baby genius had I created?
“Come back here, you little turd,” I called as I ran after him.
Hiding behind the hamper is where I found him. It wasn’t difficult considering he was unable to gather what the word quiet meant. The moment I scooped him up into my arms I knew I had to handle Jensen. He wasn’t going to go away with a firm threat. Like it or not, he knew what I was hiding and it was only a matter of time before he returned.
I decided instead of dwelling on the things I couldn’t change, I’d focus on what I could control. There was a man down the hill that posed a threat to my future. If he was a criminal, and he wanted to, he could harm me and take my child away without anyone finding out until they were long gone. I couldn’t risk it. Even if my instincts were off base, I had to make sure it would never happen.
After getting my son changed and bundling him up, we headed outside to take a short ride down the mountain trail. I didn’t know what I would say when I saw him opening the door, but I needed answers. Sitting less than a quarter mile from me incognito seemed immature and a waste. If I wanted to put my mind at ease, I had to discover what else he was hiding, and the real reason why he’d returned.
Packing up a kid and taking him out into the frigid temperatures wasn’t exactly easy. He’d gotten too big to leave in the house while I fetched the snowmobile and let it warm up. With Ava attached to him like glue, we headed out into the cold. I ran as fast as I was able to in the few inches of snow on the ground, while he could only make it a few steps without struggling. Ava knew where I was headed and stayed with Christopher, thankfully.
I could see them as I hurried to turn the mobile on and drive it out of the covered shed. When Christopher saw me his face lit up, what little I could see of it. He loved taking rides, and since it was getting bitter cold outside, I hadn’t done it at all lately.
“Want to go for a ride, buddy?”
He held his arms up in the air. “Go. Ride.”
Behind him, Ava jumped and scurried with excitement. Apparently I wasn’t the only one with cabin fever.
After going back inside and gathering a few items I might need for the boy, plus my father’s only pistol just in case, I got us both situated, him sitting in front of me with a homemade strap keeping him secure. Before having him I would have hurried down the mountain as fast as the snow mobile would allow, but with him onboard I went as slow as possible, following the tracks Jensen had made earlier.
I didn’t anticipate to threaten him, not unless I felt it was necessary to do so. I wasn’t a monster, however, this man held all the answers. He was also the only person who could take everything away from me. I would protect my child, even if it meant doing something drastic and inconceivable.
The moment we approached the house I saw the front porch light flicking on. I turned off the ignition and watched as the man who’d fathered my child stepped outside and met my gaze. He wasn’t wearing a coat, but simply crossed his arms as if he wasn’t bothered by the temperature.
I expected him to say something first, though it didn’t happen. With Christopher squirming in his snowsuit, I unfastened us and climbed off first. I peered down at my son; the little guy I couldn’t leave at the cabin alone while I figured this out. I hated him being with me. I hated knowing the man standing on the newly built porch could take the only thing left dear to my heart.
Once I picked him up and carried him almost to the porch, I stopped and addressed my reasoning for the visit. “I’m ready to listen, but it’s going to be on my terms. You stay away from my son, do you hear me?”
Jensen was no longer looking at me. He was staring into his own eyes. For a second I felt vulnerable, like I’d give in and beg him to be a part of our lives. It was desperate and out of line. I was already being irrational and he hadn’t even responded to my terms. “Are we clear?” I said adamantly.
“Come inside and get warm,” was all he said.
I followed behind him, remaining on high alert the entire time. He sat down in the great room, watching as I managed to sit Christopher down and start removing all his cold weather gear. Ava was sauntering around checking out the place, every once in a while shaking, her collar making a jingle sound.
The large size of the new family room took my breath away. I still couldn’t get over all the changes in design.
“What changed your mind?” He asked.
I held my son tightly and gathered a couple small toys out of the back pack I’d brought. He took a little truck and sat down on the floor in front of me while I removed my coat.
It was hard looking at Jensen. There were a lot of things I wanted to scream at him. He’d lied. He’d used me. He’d lied some more. Yet he’d given me the greatest gift. He gave me a miracl
e I never knew I needed.
“I know this is unconventional, Jensen, but it’s not like I could call a sitter.”
He kept watching Christopher, never taking his eyes off him as he replied. “When Eve mentioned her neighbor lived on top the mountain with her kid I thought maybe you moved away and someone else moved in. I’d come around sometime last year to explain myself, but you were nowhere to be found.”
“I had to move closer to town while I was pregnant. I couldn’t risk anything happening.”
“Smart.” He kept staring at my son. “He has my eyes.”
I nodded, a burning forming in both of mine. “I’m not here to talk to you about Christopher. I’m here to listen and to tell you I want you to leave us alone.”
He clapped his hands together and finally looked away. I could tell my words hurt him, though I didn’t care. Nothing was going to change my mind. He was a bad person, and I wanted him to steer clear of my child.
“You’re wrong about me, Amantha.”
“Oh really?” I laughed. “How could you even think anything you have to tell me will change my opinion? You are living in the house you set on fire and robbed. You’re a criminal, not to mention a liar. If that’s not bad enough you were married to the person who killed my family. You’re nothing but evil. That’s why I’m here. You will never take this boy from me. I don’t know why you came back, or what you thought you’d find, but I haven’t exactly been waiting around for your return. If anything, I’ve only grown more furious with the whole situation.”
“You have every right to assume I’m all those things. There was a time when I felt like I was the devil. God knows I would have made a deal with him if he could make all my troubles go away, but we both know that’s not the case.”
“Maybe you do,” I reminded him.
“Fair enough. You have a right to your opinion. First and foremost you need to know I’m not a criminal. You don’t have to be afraid of me, Amantha. If I wanted to harm you in any way I would have let you burn to death in the fire. I think you know that.”
“Do I? You and your friends stole things. You’re lucky I didn’t tell Eve who you really were.”
“Eve knows who I really am. It was you who I lied to, and only because I knew you wouldn’t let help you if you found out who I was and where I came from.”
“You’re damn right about that too. I wouldn’t have.”
“What’s done is done. You lived. You look like you’re doing well.”
“I don’t have a choice. Will you get to the point already? It’s getting dark soon and I don’t want to have to take a fifteen month old baby up that mountain at night.”
“I’m not a criminal,” he repeated. “I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I’ve made mistakes in my life, but I didn’t steal from your friends.”
“What about your friends? Doesn’t that make you an accomplice?”
He chuckled, like I was too airheaded to understand. It annoyed me. “Not if they forced my hand.”
I rolled my eyes. “Give me a break. That’s what you want to say?” I stood. I’d heard enough. He was blowing smoke and I wasn’t having it. “This was clearly a big mistake.”
“Amantha, please. Just wait a minute. I’ve had years to think about what I wanted to say to you, but every time I get the chance I can’t find the words.”
“Spit it out, or I’m leaving.”
“I’m trying to. Damn. Stop being stubborn and give me a second. Has anyone ever told you how difficult you are to talk to?”
I shrugged. “My parents, but we both know it’s been a while since I’ve been reminded.”
Christopher stood up and carried his truck over toward Jensen. He held it up for him take. I gasped. I didn’t want them touching, and I hadn’t expected how speechless it would render me.
“Thanks, little guy. You sure are cute.”
I grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him away from his sperm donor. “You were saying?”
“I’d never hurt him either.” I could tell I left him feeling worthless, but he needed to know I wouldn’t change my mind.
“Look, after Alice died my whole life turned to shit. All those people died because of her choices.”
“I know what happened. Explain why you came looking for me. I didn’t know her.”
“One night after the crash, after her funeral, I was sitting at a bar trying to drink away the pain. I loved that woman more than life itself. Everything I did was so I could give her the life she deserved. I busted my ass to be someone her family could be proud of. She set out to hurt me, and in killing herself she did exactly that. She destroyed me.” He paused for a minute and rubbed his face like he was gathering himself. “Anyway, I was sitting at the bar hoping no one would recognize me and offer condolences when I looked up at the television and saw you doing that big interview. I asked the bartender to change the channel, but he refused. I was prepared to leave, because let’s face it, I felt responsible for your loss. Something wouldn’t let me stand up. I couldn’t look away. Your story was unlike the others. You didn’t just lose someone you loved. You lost everyone. I sat on that barstool listening to you pour your heart out to the world. The people around me were also glued to the screen, some even mumbling how awful it was for you. Maybe it was the liquor, but in that moment I knew I had to find you. I wanted you to know why they died that day. I wanted you to know how sorry I was for ruining your life.”
I swallowed the now forming lump in my throat, trying to put myself in his shoes. Taking me back to that hard time in my life was irreconcilable. I’d promised to let it go, yet here I was being forced to relive the pain. “How did you go from wanting to apologize to being part of an arson and theft?”
“By the time I got the courage to seek you out you’d freaking moved to Alaska. Alaska,” he repeated. “Who does that?”
“Someone who needs to forget who they were.”
“Exactly,” he unexpectedly answered. “I applaud your efforts. After finally figuring out where you’d gone, and having nothing holding me back I made the decision to try to give you closure. Maybe it wasn’t my job to do. I wouldn’t blame you for hating me, for blaming me completely, but I had to do this to be able to live with myself. You weren’t the only person struggling to move forward. I know our circumstances were different, but we both lost so much.”
“What happened next?” I kept on, like I didn’t care about his feelings. I couldn’t allow myself to.
“Well, I had your address, but no idea where you lived. It’s not like it is back home. I arrived in town and found out you lived way off the beaten path. I started asking around, finding out how I could get to you, but no one could offer a way since the weather was shitty. Someone had even given me your neighbor’s number to see if they’d rent their place to me, since they didn’t use it in the winter months. I figured I could return before the weather got bad and give it another go. You can ask Eve. When I called I inquired about renting the house that following fall, not when the house burned down. I was about to give up. I’d only booked a hotel for two nights and my time was running out. That last night at the lobby bar I ran into a group of guys talking about plans to get up the mountain. I invited myself to go with them, not knowing what I was volunteering to be a part of.”
“So you did rob them?” I assumed.
“No. I didn’t. In fact, I had no idea what they were up to. They packed like they were hunting, and since I’ve never been in Alaska, I had no idea it wasn’t the season for anything. It wasn’t until that night when I realized they weren’t who they said they were.” Jensen looked over at Christopher. “I was sleeping when they went out and robbed your neighbors and then set the fire to the house in hopes of covering it up.”
“Oh, that’s just too easy. Give me a break. Do you actually think I’d believe you?” I crossed my arms and raised a brow. He must have taken me for a fool.
“It’s true. I heard the lodge door opening a few times, but figured
they were loading up for the hunt. When they’d asked me what I wanted to get up the mountain for, I told them it was for a girl. They thought you and I were involved. I’d planned on coming to see you once the storm was over.”
“How did you end up at the fire?”
“At the time, I didn’t know they were responsible. I woke up to them arguing in the kitchen. They were talking about splitting the take. One of them was bitching about me staying with them. They’d come back from the house with all these fancy statues and other items. I knew they hadn’t been there before, and the fact that they were laying it all out on the table to brag was another obvious sign. As soon as I realized I announced that I was out of there. I told them I was leaving and calling the authorities. I stepped outside and saw the flames higher on the mountain. I didn’t know where you lived and assumed it was your house. I hopped on a snowmobile and hauled ass up the mountain, making them think I was running away to call the police. They followed me. When I arrived here they weren’t far behind. One of the guys pulled out a gun and told me I should have kept my mouth shut. Figuring I had nothing to lose, I insisted on going in the house to keep from being shot and bleeding out in a blizzard. I never expected to see someone on the ground. I thought I was about to die. Instinct kicked in. I didn’t lie to you about being a fireman. I wasn’t an inspector. My father-in-law is though.”
“That’s when you saved me?” I hated admitting it.
“Yes. The guys never expected me to come out of that house with you in my arms. You weren’t conscious, so I started checking you out to see if I could get you to wake up. As soon as your eyes opened he put the weapon away. To be honest, I think they were shocked you were in there. They’d just robbed the place and said it was empty.”
“Then what happened?” I asked while watching Christopher walk around touching things he shouldn’t be getting into.
“He tried to tell me to leave you in the snow. He threatened me several times, but I refused to let you freeze to death.”
Frigid Affair Page 8
