“I’m going to worry about it.” I gestured helplessly at the remnants of the fire. “I’m going to get yelled at for this.”
“Inevitably.”
“I want to run away and hide somewhere with my rats and my tigers. I might take that Californian, too.”
“I would help you, but it isn’t safe to fly the helicopter now. It’ll need to be tended and made certain it’s flightworthy before anyone uses it again. You’ll just have to wait for your husband to arrive. Until then, you can stand around and look useful without doing anything unless necessary. That’s the secret of being a monarch. Delegate, delegate, delegate. You’ve already earned your keep, and truth be told, those firefighters? In about ten minutes, they’ll clue in they’re no longer fighting a fire, go back to where the air is fresher, and crash out until California gets teams in to send them to their hotels or stations. They’ll probably take them to hotels near hospitals for exams. Fighting fires is hard on a body.”
No kidding. “I feel like I should, due to familial obligation, at least make a token attempt to find my parents’ bodies.” Part of me wanted to find them to make sure they stayed dead. Another part of me wanted to find them alive and being spiteful assholes. I didn’t want reconciliation. I wanted to kick them in the shins and demand answers, answers I doubted they’d give me even if they’d somehow survived.
Until I saw their bones for myself, I’d believe the bastards had run out on their duty to preserve their reputation. If they lived, they’d hope for my demise fighting the fire they had no hope of beating.
The truth lived or died with me, and that pissed me off so much I targeted the smoking ruins of a nearby tree, snapped my fingers, and blasted it to smithereens with the strongest fire I could bring to life.
“Remind me never to upset you, Your Majesty.”
“I would never do something like that to someone who didn’t deserve it.”
“While I guessed as much, I will beg you to do a demonstration of that where my cousin can witness it. I think that would freak out even him. You made that tree disappear with a snap of your fingers.”
“I don’t have to snap to work my magic, but I find it helps with control. If I only manifest flame when I snap my fingers, it decreases the odds I’ll lose control.”
Showers would forever annoy me after years of trying to light water on fire without success. I snapped my fingers then, too, just to be cautious and sure.
Snapping my fingers made using my magic a deliberate choice.
If I killed someone, it would be because I meant to, not because of some accident.
“I have now been conditioned to be very concerned should you start snapping your fingers.”
I thought about that for a few minutes, realized he had a good point, and nodded. “I’d be concerned, too. I might not be a good New Yorker, but I’m still a New Yorker.”
“Please don’t light me on fire for suggesting this, but as New York’s leading monarch, you couldn’t be more of a New Yorker if you tried.”
“This is one of those arguments I can’t win, isn’t it?”
“It is,” he replied with a grin. “My cousin hates when I do that to him, which is what makes it so much fun. It’s hard to argue with someone who is right all the time.”
“If you try to move into New York, I’m denying your visa and making Montana keep you, and I’m not above using my queenly powers to make that happen—unless you’re seeking employment as a pilot, in which case I’ll consider it with various conditions, including a maximum number of times you can be right all the time in any given week. My ego and self-esteem suffer enough as it is.”
“My cousin would cry if I left him.”
I frowned. “Is that supposed to discourage or encourage me?”
“See? You’re a proper New Yorker. Only a New Yorker would be confused by that statement.”
All right. I had to admit I had strayed into New Yorker territory with that train of thought. As I’d already forayed into New York waters, I decided to stay for a while and enjoy my visit. “His Royal Majesty of Montana just seems like the kind who could use some time reflecting through his tears.”
“I think we’re going to get along just fine, Your Majesty. You could use someone with RPS training keeping an eye on you. Flying my cousin around and keeping an eye on him is such a pain in the ass.”
Wait. He had RPS training, he could fly a helicopter, and the RPS trusted him with his cousin’s safety? “What’s your name?”
“Most just call me Niell; that’s the family name. Half the time, I forget I have a first name. I don’t like it much, anyway. It just gets confusing when all the Niells get together in the same room.”
Niell had seen my magic, and he hadn’t run in pure terror. He’d admitted his healthy wariness of my talent, but it hadn’t stopped him from treating me like a human being rather than a living weapon.
Huh.
“How well trained are you?” I asked.
“If we didn’t have family rules about this, my cousin would’ve considered me as a candidate to become the head of his detail. I’m a contender for his talent should he be killed, and that generally eliminates me from lead detail work. It’s too dangerous. But considering how His Royal Majesty is wasting no time building a nice, big family, there’s no reason I can’t work elsewhere. Montana has a lot of RPS agents who are members of the branch family.”
“Really? Why?”
“We have good talents for the work, and we’re groomed to have a healthy interest in politics and watching our family’s back. I know that’s not how it works in New York, but it could be how it works in New York someday.”
“How much would it cost to lure you to New York?”
“I’m fairly certain New York has a salary book for RPS agents and their rankings based on their resumé, experience, and time in the RPS. Hell, my cousin would probably pay you to take me.”
“Later, I hope you remember you only have yourself to blame for this.”
“I’m man enough to handle it, promise.”
I shook my head at the insanity of it all and joined the fire crews in making certain the wildfire didn’t revive itself and create more chaos and destruction.
Ethan had Ian with him, and I regarded my new husband with narrowed eyes, crossing my arms and debating the best way to tell him he’d lost his mind. Amisha flopped across my feet, and Endah went to greet her favorite human, rubbing against him with enough force to knock him over. Once she had him down, the tiger cuddled with him, rested her chin on his shoulder, and chuffed.
“You deserved that,” I announced.
Without any evidence of embarrassment, Ethan showered Endah with his affection. “How did you get an epic sunburn so quickly? I left you alone for maybe an hour. An hour. I’m concerned I’ll never be able to let you out of my sight ever again.”
“She used her talent, and that’s one of the consequences of doing so. However, it seems my sister has far more finesse than our parents ever had. May they fuck off forever and reside in hell for all eternity.”
“I don’t believe in hell,” I replied.
“Hell is far more satisfying than the other options right now, so I’m going with it. It’s for a good cause.” Ian strode closer, looking me over. “Ethan, why is my sister so scrawny?”
Bristling over my brother daring to criticize Ethan, I opened my mouth to tell him off.
Ian shoved a piece of jerky halfway down my throat, giving me the option to chew or choke. He armed himself with another piece, wielding it like most would a weapon. “I have an entire bag, and I’m not afraid to use it.”
A few test chews revealed he’d brought the type I’d liked to steal most of all. It was a little peppery, a little sweet, and tough enough it’d keep me busy for at least five minutes before I’d gnawed through it.
Given the choice between the jerky or yelling at him, I determined I’d have to consume the entire bag and then reward myself with yelling at him.
“Now that she’s quiet for a few minutes, you have some explaining to do, Ethan!”
“About what? It seems obvious to me. I love your sister so I married her. Now I get to boss your stubborn ass around. Having to deal with an entire kingdom of New Yorkers is a bit much, but she’s worth it. It’s not my fault you’re an idiot and didn’t notice the obvious. I’d be sorry about your parents, but I’m really not. Not after what they did to Rachel.”
“I’m going to take my sister, we are going to get drunk, and you’re going to have to deal with the consequences.”
“No. She’ll get sick, and she doesn’t need to get sick right now. I’ll kick you out of California if you even think about it.”
“You can’t kick me out of California.”
“Technically, he’s not wrong, Ethan. You can’t kick him out of California, but you can kick him out of New York.”
“I can, can’t I?”
“I recommend a tiny island somewhere no one will ever find him, personally.”
“I sense a certain amount of resentment from my sister. Did I not give you enough jerky?” Ian held out his piece of jerky. “You can have this if you give me five minutes to discuss this matter with Ethan.”
I accepted the beef jerky. “You touch him, and I will reduce your ashes to the finest of powders and smear you across California.”
“Damn, Ethan. What the hell did you do to my sister?”
“Nothing. That said, I like it. I’m going to have to encourage this behavior and cultivate it.”
“Please don’t. She’s terrifying.”
“She’s only terrifying because you’re the target of her ire, and Rachel is a very sincere and honest woman. You just know if you even ruffle a hair on my head, you will become a smear decorating my home kingdom.”
“That was New Yorker mean, and I resent how quickly you have embraced New York tradition,” my brother replied. “I also find it disturbing I’m being cowed by a man who is the plaything of a tiger.”
“Endah, please play with Ian.” I pointed at my brother. “Lick his face, baby girl.”
Well aware how rough her tongue was, I smirked when Endah got to her paws, abandoned Ethan, stretched, and meandered to my brother. Ian’s eyes widened, and he backed away.
“That won’t save you.”
“Damn, Rachel. I know I’m an ass and deserve punishment, but do you have to send a freaking tiger after me? Come on, she’s huge.”
“Yes. Once she has you down, I’m taking all of your beef jerky, and I’ll eat it in front of you while Endah licks your face off. Once Endah has licked your face off, my rats will cuddle you into full submission.”
“I’ll give you beef jerky every day, just don’t let your tiger eat me. Also, please. No rats. Rats are creepy.”
“She’s not going to eat you. She’s just going to love you to a near-death state with her tongue. And if you say a mean thing about my rats, I’ll end you.”
“I’m too beautiful to lose my face to a tiger. Please don’t end me. I’ll be nice to your rats despite their creepiness.”
“You’re never too handsome to avoid having your face licked off by a tiger.” Well, as far as my brothers went, I supposed he was the handsomest of the lot, but I’d die before admitting that to him. “And you better be nice to my rats, especially the babies. Ethan, I want my babies.”
“We can go retrieve them after we’re done here,” he promised. “Please don’t eliminate your brother. He’ll be useful to you later.”
“Being annoying isn’t useful.”
“He fed you beef jerky.”
“I’m going to get yelled at. Dr. Stanton is going to see me stuffing my face with beef jerky and yell at me.”
“She’s not going to yell at you for eating beef jerky.”
“She will. It’s not healthy. She’s going to be mad because I made an unhealthy choice on purpose.”
“You made a therapeutic choice establishing dominance over your brother by taking his beef jerky.”
I considered that angle, narrowing my eyes while Endah pinned my brother and dragged her rough tongue across his face.
He screamed and flailed, which goaded her into doing it again. As he could have some use to me still alive, I said, “Be gentle with him, Endah. I suppose I do need him alive. But if you could make certain he is my hostage and doesn’t leave, that would be lovely.”
Endah marked my brother as her territory, rubbing her big head against his abused face before pressing a paw to his chest, lying down beside him, and resting her chin on his shoulder.
“I must be hallucinating. Does your tiger understand English?”
“That’s what we were told.”
“The tigers are going to rule New York, aren’t they?”
“With their rat sidekicks. I’ll just be there to provide general translation.”
“What did you do to my sister, Ethan? She has a sense of humor.”
“I haven’t done anything to her.”
“You need to get on that if you’re going to produce an heir for New York.”
“Her ovaries are currently closed for business.”
I frowned. “Did I say ovaries or uterus?”
“As far as I’m concerned, until you say you’re open for business, you’re closed for business, and that’s fine. When you’re ready, we can discuss parental matters.”
“I’m closed for business until my ribs aren’t visible. You’ll break me.”
Ethan laughed and strode to me. Smiling, he kissed my cheek. “When you’re ready, you’re ready. Talk to Dr. Stanton about it. She’ll be happy to help you, but I won’t ever break you.” Then, in a whisper, he continued, “But if you scare me like that again, I’m definitely going to spank you, leash you, and refuse to let you out of my sight. Really, Rachel? Putting out the entire fire in one go? You could’ve gotten yourself killed rather than badly sunburned.”
My eyes widened. “But...”
“No buts. I want you to be careful.”
“I don’t know what you’re telling my sister, but I’m about to get up and beat you,” Ian growled.
“I’ll be leashing her if she tries another stunt like this.”
“Oh. Well, then. Leash away. You just be damned gentle with my sister.”
I bit my lip. “But...”
“Rachel, it’s fine. I just want you to be more careful. You’re the most important person in the world to me. I know you did what you feel is necessary, and that’s part of what I love about you. But you’re important, too. So, do what’s necessary, but do so more carefully.” Ethan regarded the smoking landscape with a sigh. “Though I suppose you were careful. You’re still here. How did you do that?”
“I used my flameweaving to determine where the fire was by feel. That’s why the burns. Then I created a shield and suffocated it. My idiot parents probably tried to command the flames. Or pretended to and used it as cover to run.”
Vocalizing my doubts helped more than I’d thought possible.
“She’ll be fine,” Ian announced, and after a struggle with Endah, he escaped the tiger to join us, although she followed and rubbed her body against his legs to make certain he was aware she’d be keeping an eye on him. “Rachel’s always been the most careful of us all. Except, apparently, when it comes to her choice of men. Really, Rachel. You picked Ethan?”
“What’s your problem with Ethan?” I demanded.
“He’s my best friend.”
Oh. I regarded my new husband with a frown. “Well, don’t be stupid and fight with my brother because you foolishly decided to marry me. That’d be stupid.”
“It wasn’t foolish of me to marry you, Rachel.”
“I have you fooled, obviously.”
“Rachel,” Ethan complained. “I’m not a fool, it wasn’t a mistake, and I’ll try not to fight with Ian, although I’m going to give you a bag of beef jerky and dunk the asshole into the river a few times while you watch.”
“Promise?”
/>
“I promise. And Ian, because he doesn’t want to stupidly fight with me, will only put up a token struggle for your entertainment.”
My brother sighed. “This sucks. If it means Rachel will come back to New York, I’ll do it.”
“You’re also going to be put to work doing all the things Rachel wants you to do, without question. She is also going to be a beautiful dictator when it comes to your workload, and you’ll like it. She’s also going to give you a present.”
“I am?”
“You’re going to hold his girlfriend hostage.”
“I don’t have a girlfriend.” My brother scowled, and he gave an angry sigh, the kind our father did right before he blew a fuse. Or had done.
I hated I had no idea if our parents were truly dead or not.
“Rachel is in a position to change the requirements for who you may or may not associate with in a personal fashion. She’s also in a position to adjust staffing as a part of her reign. All you have to do is ask.”
“She thinks I’m just another damned New York prince,” Ian replied, shaking his head. “It’s just not going to work.”
“It definitely won’t work if you don’t try. Rachel’s a lot of things, but she’ll help you if you ask for help.”
I considered Ethan’s words, and after a moment, I shrugged. “I won’t approve any kidnappings, stalking, or typical New York behavior, but if you can convince this woman to have you, I’m not going to tell you no. I’ll inform New York’s congress that they can go suck a box of condoms if they don’t like it.”
“Suck a box of condoms?” my brother asked. “That’s a new one.”
“Rachel has discovered how effective condoms are at humiliating a congress. She used a bag full of condom boxes to issue her challenge earlier today. His Royal Majesty of Montana looked like he was about to choke to death trying not to laugh. She was splendid. She had a leash and collar in the bag, too. Among other things.”
“Damn. I had no idea you had that in you, Rachel.”
“Apparently, they don’t like it when a princess tells them she won’t reproduce at their request.”
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