by Coralie Moss
Anna Granger, who would have predicted you’d be thinking like this?
Not me. Not in a hundred years.
Chapter Eleven
All the familiar holiday smells were present and accounted for at the Granger’s Thanksgiving table. Roast turkey stuffed with sage dressing. Homemade cranberry sauce with a dash of orange peel. Pearl onions and peas. Sweet potatoes and mashed potatoes. Heads of garlic roasted with skins on, to be squeezed over the potatoes and the juicy meat.
Familiar faces ringed the table. Gary and Suki. Gigi, Neena, and Cedar. A place was set in memory of Anna’s husband and their father. She’d gotten everyone to agree to leave their cell phones in her bedroom, on vibrate, encouraging them to eat and converse uninterrupted.
Anna had an earlier moment of intuition about Gary and Suki when he’d called her about coming to the island for the holiday. What better time to announce a pregnancy? She watched throughout the meal for telltale signs, but Suki not only had Gary pour her wine, she drank it, which put that idea to rest. Maybe her gut instinct was wrong.
Remnants of second and third helpings littered everyone’s plate, and no one was in a rush to make the transition to the living room, where they’d stuff themselves with dessert while playing board games. That was always Anna and Gary Sr.’s favorite part of the holiday, the laughter that created room in their bellies for slices of pie with dollops of whipped cream.
Her son stood, pushed his chair away, and lifted his wineglass. He made a show of clearing his throat.
“Suki and I have some news,” he said, glancing at his wife and grinning. “Her father has offered both of us positions in his company, and we have decided to accept.”
Glasses rose around the table, along with a chorus of congratulations.
“I didn’t know your dad was opening offices in Vancouver,” said Anna, “but how wonderful for you!”
Suki’s eyes darted to meet Gary’s. Before she could respond, Gary chimed in. “He’s not, Mom. We’re moving to Toronto.”
Anna couldn’t mask her surprise. She set her wineglass back on the table a little too roughly and had to excuse herself to get a dry dishtowel to put under the spot before the alcohol stained the wood.
Seated once again, and properly composed, she continued. “That’s a big move for you two. Toronto’s on the other side of the country.”
“It is, Mom,” Suki said, reaching across the table to cup Anna’s wrist. “But we’re keeping the cottage. In fact, we wanted to talk to Gigi about doing a kind of timeshare, maybe renting it out and letting it make some money for the three of us.”
Gigi raised her eyebrows and refilled her glass. “I’m definitely up for that,” she said, her response enthusiastic and unequivocal. “And congratulations, you two. That’s a big move. I’ll miss you guys.”
“We’ll get you both out to visit,” Gary reassured them as he pulled his chair away from the table and sat closer to his wife. Suki leaned into him and whispered in his ear. He patted her knee and nodded.
“It’s not like we’ll be gone forever,” he said. “And oh yeah, there’s another thing. Mom, you’re going to be a grandmother!”
Anna had a brief moment of not understanding before she leapt up and rounded the table to hug her son and daughter-in-law. Tears came next.
“But you’re drinking!” she exclaimed, wishing she’d heard wrong about their decision to move away.
“No, she’s not.”
Gary turned the bottle of wine he’d kept near their plates. “Alcohol-free,” he said, grinning. “We knew your baby antenna would figure it out if she didn’t have anything to drink.”
Gigi had gotten up and was hugging the parents-to-be. “You can be such a jerk.”
“I know. You’re going to miss me torturing you.”
“Mom’s got news too,” she countered, swatting at her brother’s shoulder. He cringed in mock pain.
Anna looked across the table, nervously smoothing the tablecloth, not sure to what news Gigi was referring.
“C’mon, Mom, what is it?” Gary looked pleased as punch that he’d so thoroughly surprised his family. He leaned into his wife, his arm possessively wrapped around her shoulders.
“Mexico? Old boyfriend?” Gigi asked. “Any of that ring a bell?”
“Wait,” Cedar butted in, “Liam’s an old boyfriend?”
“No, Daniel’s the old boyfriend. Liam’s the handsome next-door neighbor.”
Gary’s demeanor shifted from garrulous to guarded as he crossed his legs. “What do you mean, old boyfriend? Mom?”
Anna took a deep breath and dove in. “I’m going to spend a few days in Mexico next week with a man I used to date in college. We’ve been writing and talking for a couple of weeks and—”
“But, Mom,” Gary interrupted, leaning forward, “what about Dad?”
“Dad’s been gone for five years,” said Gigi. “Mom’s waited long enough.”
Gary glared at his sister before dropping his head into his hands, his fingers threading through his hair, agitated. “I want to be happy for you, Mom, but this is really hard.”
Neena nudged Cedar and gestured toward the kitchen. They stood in unison and began to clear the table, making no attempt to dampen the clang and clack of dishes and utensils as they were rinsed, washed, stacked, and dried.
“I know it is,” Anna said. “I wasn’t looking to start dating, but Daniel wrote to me the day after my birthday, and it felt like a sign. I miss your dad and our marriage every single day of my life, and I also miss having someone to cook for, and look after, someone who’ll look after me, all of those things that come with being in a relationship and being in love.”
“Are you in love with this guy?” Gary’s eyes watered, and his voice cracked as he spoke.
“Sweetheart, I won’t be seeing him in person until next week. No, I’m not in love with him. But I’m excited about the trip.”
Suki stroked her husband’s head as he composed himself. “I think Gary’s feeling super emotional these days,” she said. “And he’s been thinking about his dad a lot, knowing he’s going to be a father himself in another six months.”
There wasn’t a dry eye around the table when she finished.
After the dishes had been put away, the leftovers divvied up, and goodbye hugs exchanged, Anna changed into pajamas and her grandfather’s bathrobe and poured herself a glass of dessert wine. She moved the candles from the dining table and set their polished silver holders beside the couch.
Gary Jr. and Gigi had gone through the plastic garment bag after dessert. They left her with a Western-style shirt, the style with pearl-topped snaps down the front and at the cuffs.
She held the shirt in her lap as the beeswax tapers burned to nubs and her wine glass emptied. She let her tears fall. Tears of joy for Gary Jr. and Suki and the baby they would welcome into the world in the spring. Tears of sadness that her son and daughter-in-law and grandchild would be living so far away.
The rest of her tears were a commingled mess. She missed Liam’s touch. She missed the way his strong, elegant hands communicated with her body. She was angry that only now, at age fifty, was she rediscovering her body’s ability to experience desire—fiery, surprising, elemental, desire.
She was in awe at the parallel discovery she could incite the same level of desire in another.
Once she was good and wrung out, she moved to her computer and waited for it to boot up. She read Daniel’s detailed email about his trip to Berlin and his successes with a discerning and difficult clientele. His tone wasn’t cool, but it didn’t have the same enveloping embrace as her conversations with Liam.
Time to stop comparing the two men. One was a pleasant, short-term affair. The other was a more serious situation. Potentially. Anna reread Daniel’s email with their history in mind, looking for any subtext indicating he, too, was excited and nervous about their reunion.
He was opaque at twenty-two, and he was opaque thirty years later. Or maybe she wa
s expecting too much. Maybe she would have a different set of expectations about the upcoming reunion if Elaine hadn’t pushed her into the workshop and if Liam hadn’t further primed her pump.
She smoothed her hand down one empty shirtsleeve and fingered the pearl snaps. Sex with Gary was…comfortable. Comfortable, familiar, vanilla. Not every day—what married couple with kids could possibly manage that feat?—but at least they had kept at it. And once Gary Jr. and Gigi were out of the house, their intimate life consisted of the kind of sex long-coupled people had when their youth was a memory but their bodies were still vital.
Wait, she couldn’t generalize like that.
Maybe her friends and their partners were doing the kinds of things she and Liam were doing, but it was she who was late to the table. That would be a conversation starter. Or ender. Tell me, Jen, how many times a week do you and Paul have sex? And what kind of sex do you have? Do you go down on each other? Do you have a favorite flavor of lube? Do you watch their face as they orgasm? Lights on or off?
Anna cut short that line of musing and finished folding Gary’s old shirt. It was time to suggest to Daniel they were due for an on-camera chat. But first she had to go laptop shopping.
The electronics store she visited three days later was warehouse huge and intensely bright. Anna was overwhelmed. The combined buzz of voices coming from customers and salespeople floated above her head into a cloud of mechanized insects. A headache threatened to descend, combine forces with her nerves, and drive her out of the store.
Sweat pooled beneath her underwire bra. Every glossy white, oversized table appeared to showcase one kind of device or computer configuration. She pressed a hand to her ribs to mop up the moisture, located the table with the laptops, and headed toward the display.
One pristine, recently vacated stool beckoned. She settled her coat and bag on the table’s shiny surface and waited.
Thirty-five minutes later, still waiting, she tapped the shoulder of the salesperson finishing with the customer next to her.
“Can you help me?” she asked. “I want to buy a laptop and I have no idea where to start.”
“Do you have an appointment?”
She shook her head. “No. I didn’t know I needed one.”
Annoyance flickered across the young woman’s face. She gave a practiced eye lift, looking heavenward for support. She consulted the device in her hands and glanced at Anna. “I’m supposed to go on break, but I can help you.”
Anna didn’t ignore the urge to hug her. “Thank you.”
“Let’s get started. Tell me what you’re looking for.”
More than an hour later, Anna walked out of the store with a white bag, inside of which was a white box, a white laptop, a white mouse, and an upgraded cell phone. She now had social media accounts and passwords and three ways to back up her files.
And she was beyond exhausted. She splurged on a taxi and called Elaine. “Do I need a blog?”
“It never hurts, and it’ll probably help drum up interest in our floating bordello business.”
Anna laughed from the backseat of the car. “But I’m not a writer.”
“Your new phone comes with an amazing camera. Take lots of pictures, put them through filters, and write snappy captions. Oh, and don’t forget the hashtags.”
“You’re going to have to explain to me what hash has to do with an effective social media presence. Got to go. I’m at the shop.”
“Hashtags, Anna. Hash. Tags. Get Gigi to explain them to you.”
Anna paid the cabbie and gathered her bags. A storefront touting fruit smoothies and energy bars claimed her attention. She bought three drinks to share with Gigi and Neena and an assortment of bars flecked with seeds and fruit in shades of brown then punched the buzzer to the designer’s atelier. She’d make it through her final fitting and have a nap on the ferry home.
“Annalissa. Are you there?”
Daniel’s voice came out of her new laptop, but Anna couldn’t see his face. She had practiced at the store and again after her fitting, but it seemed she had forgotten overnight everything she learned about how to get herself set up for an online video chat.
“I’m here, Danny. But I can’t figure out what I should be clicking on.”
A deep, masculine laugh issued from her machine. “You look quite fetching when you’re flustered.”
Anna stopped mid-fumble.
“You can see me?” Thank God, she continued to maintain her hair, post-spa treatment. And for remembering to add mascara to her morning beauty routine. Abdominal exercises too. Before the mascara.
“Yes, your camera’s working quite well.”
She planted her elbows on the table and threaded all ten fingers through her hair. “You’re going to have to talk me through this.”
Daniel laughed again. “Okay. Let’s start by closing out your browser.”
“My what?”
“Anna, can you see your email?”
“Yes.”
“Click on whatever you would normally if you were going to sign out for the night.”
When she wasn’t flustered, she could navigate her computer with confidence. Anna wiggled her mouse until she located its tiny arrow indicator and closed her mailbox. And there, framed in bright green, was Daniel’s face.
He wore reading glasses, stylish ones with thick, tortoiseshell frames, and he appeared to be handing papers to someone out of the camera’s range. His head turned, and he spoke, something that sounded like, “We’ll take care of this after lunch.”
When he looked at his screen, Anna took a sharp breath in through her nose. The years had been very kind to Daniel Strauss. “It’s you.”
His grin lit her screen, coaxed her into smiling back. “There you are!” he exclaimed. “I’ve been waiting to see that smile. Are you all packed for Mexico?”
Anna giggled. “Almost. Almost.”
“My office is cleared out for the next forty-five minutes. How are you?”
“Slightly frazzled. Yesterday, I spent an hour being upgraded so I could face you today,” she admitted.
“Upgraded?” he laughed. “Are you referring to plane tickets or computers or…what?”
“I went shopping for a new laptop, and I completely forgot the stores were having these massive, post-holiday sales. It was traumatic. But the salesperson also talked me into getting a new phone, so I think I’m fully up-to-date on all things electronic.”
“What holiday is it? Wait…” he said, shifting to the side and back. “My calendar tells me Monday was Thanksgiving in Canada. Did you have a nice celebration?”
“I did.”
He leaned away from the camera, tilting his chair, and rubbed the center of his chest. His first two fingers slipped between the buttons running down the front of his shirt, and his face went pensive. “Annalissa, my entire staff is wondering what’s gotten into me.”
“What do you mean?”
Daniel looked off-camera again, fingers tapping at his chest. “I’ve been distracted,” he admitted, “by you. And seeing you makes me wish I was getting on the next flight to Cabo. You look lovely, Annalissa, and now I’ll be unable to focus for the rest of the day, thereby validating my employees’ suspicions.”
The phone on his desk vibrated. His head and shoulders disappeared from the screen for a few seconds.
“No more distractions,” he promised when he came back into view. “How have you been?”
“Nervous.”
“But you said—”
“Yes, that seeing your face is lowering my stress level. From code red to orange.”
Daniel propped his elbows on his desk and palmed his forehead. A few curls, shot with silver, separated from the artful sweep of hair. Brown eyes sought hers.
“And now I’m back to red,” she admitted. “I swear I could touch my screen and feel your face.”
“It’s the retina display on your laptop. Makes everything look more real. Good thing I had a facial yesterday.”
“Wait, did you say facial?”
He nodded without hesitating. “Annalissa, I’m as vain as the next man, and now I have even more reason to want to look good.” He looked straight at her, one eyebrow raised. “I have a very important date coming up, with a very special woman, and I don’t want her running off with the pool boy on our little vacation.”
“I don’t think there’s much chance of that,” she assured him, giggling, “but if you need me to, I’ll sign a waiver. No pool boys.”
“Deal. Speaking of our trip, I noticed you’ll get to the resort before me, barring any travel delays.”
Anna concurred. “My reservation has me on the first flight out. I plan to stay at a hotel near the airport the night before.”
“Why’s that?”
“One of the curses of living on an island,” she explained. “We’re at the mercy of the ferries and the float planes. It’s too dark for them to fly that time of the day, so I’ll take the last ferry to the mainland on Sunday and spend the night at a hotel.”
Deep lines appeared in Daniel’s forehead. “My assistant made the reservations. Would you like me to have her change yours?”
“No, no, I can’t wait to get my toes in the sand.”
“You sure?” he asked.
“Positive. I’m used to traveling this way.”
The lines eased. Relaxed Daniel returned. “Save some things to explore with me.”
“I will. I promise.”
A chorus of sounds lifted from behind him like a flock of birds taking off at once. His entire mien went from relaxed and attentive to Daniel, the in-demand designer. “That’s my signal,” he said, refocused momentarily on his screen and on her. “I can’t wait to see you, Annalissa.”
The area inside the green-framed rectangle on her screen went to a shade of deep gray. Anna exited the application and stayed seated.
