Jimmy gave me a hug and then stopped at the door as he pointed to the shotgun.
“Now, don’t forget to use that, Em.... just cock, point, and shoot,” he said, pointing his finger like a gun.
“I won’t,” I said, waving goodbye as I stood at the door and watched him drive off.
Now I was alone with the memories. Slowly, I made my way past the foyer and into the kitchen. All that was left of it now was a simple wooden table and two chairs with two red placemats.
The house smelled of lemon cleaner and air freshener. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a note hanging on the fridge. It read:
Em..... I put you some food in the fridge. I hope it’s okay. I just thought that you might be tired, and I had to go to the grocery store anyway. I picked up a few extra items for you, too. Please let me know if there is anything at all that you need. I’m your friend first, then lawyer, Jackson.
I held the note and stared. I remembered Jackson. He was tall and muscular even then. We had become close until he left. Each day he would visit and leave me little notes that he would write in class on gum wrappers. We made a game out of it and would pass little notes back and forth to each other. One day he was so nervous. He reached into his pocket and handed me a note. The note said, “Go to the school dance with me.” I said yes, and then he kissed me. It was my first kiss. The next day, he didn’t come to school or to visit. When Monday rolled around, I found out at school that he had moved away. I was devastated. I never knew why he left.
In the fridge were milk, juice, meat, eggs, fruit, and cheese. I wasn’t hungry. See, Jackson, maybe you aren’t Mister Perfect, after all. Yep, a man after my heart would somehow know that I lived for caffeine, I said playfully to myself. I reached into the fridge to get some lemonade and worried about how I would stay awake. I couldn’t go to sleep, not here, not in this house, alone. I opened the cabinet as I looked for a cup and there inside was a brand-new large canister of coffee, dark roasted, just the way I liked it. I almost fell over. Maybe he was perfect. I searched through the cabinets until I found a brown mug with a yellow W representing the Wolverines. I pulled down the mug from the cabinet. There on the countertop sat an expensive new coffee maker. I had wanted one for months but had been too cheap to buy it.
On the coffee pot was another note that read:
I thought maybe you could use one of these. Consider it a house-warming present. If you won’t take it for free, then I can always just add it in with my fees.
The note ended with a smiley face. I grinned. He was writing me notes just like when we were kids in school. I poured in the coffee and waited for it to brew. It was getting late.
I walked over to a radio in the kitchen and turned it on, trying to drown out the silence. There was only one station that came in and I was not in the mood for bluegrass hour. I sighed and turned off the radio, missing my city home with satellite radio and the sirens and noisy streets.
My mug now filled with coffee. I made my way to the living room. In the middle of the floor was a yellow, brown, red, and orange braided rug, the same one from my childhood. The same old sofa sat next to the window. I made my way over to it and sat down. The sofa smelled of stale beer and cigarettes, on the arm was a grease stain that smelled of a faint mixture of oil and gasoline. It looked as though Aunt Georgia or Julie had attempted to cover it by placing a patched quilt over it. It seemed symbolic of my life. I, too, had tried to cover up the past. But like the stains and the smells, it was still right there. I felt nauseated.
I picked up the family Bible sitting on the old coffee table. Carefully, I opened the cover. Inside it read “This Bible Belongs To: Tilda May Jones.”
I ran my fingers slowly over Grandma’s name around each curve and loop. Oh, how I missed her. I turned the page to a diagram of our family tree. My Grandma May’s name was in there, her mother and father and their mothers and fathers, along with my mom and dad and me and then Jordy. The tree now stopped with me. I closed the book.
I scooped up Tiny as I petted her. The trip had been exhausting. I shut my eyes and drifted off to sleep.
The lights are blinding. I raise my hand over my eyes to lessen the intensity. I can hear gravel from the drive being thrown in every direction. I see the dust flying all around me as the bright lights of the big monster truck get closer. Tiny is barking wildly and turning circles. I try to grab her, but she runs away. Panicked, I take off towards her. My bare feet ache as I run across gravel after her. The truck comes to a sudden stop. The light is so bright that it is hard to see. I yell for Tiny. I can’t see her, but I hear her barking. Suddenly, through the light a dark figure of a man appears. He’s holding a shotgun. He points it at me. I run towards the old farmhouse.
I reach for the gun that Jimmy gave me. It’s gone! I hear a gunshot come from the outside followed by a loud yelp. Oh, my God! He killed Tiny! I panic. I hear the man laugh. It’s Roy. He grabs my neck. I try to pull him off me. He is too strong. It is getting harder to breathe. I hear Grandma May’s voice, “Wake up! Wake up!”
My eyes fly open, and I jolt up from the sofa onto the floor.
Frantically, I looked around the room. “Tiny! Tiny!” I yelled. I looked down to see Tiny circling at my feet. I reached down to pick her up. “Oh, my God, Tiny! I thought I lost you! Oh, my God!” I exclaimed. I sat back down on the sofa and held onto Tiny even more tightly. The house seemed quieter now. I could hear every creak and crack it made. I scanned the darkness for the shotgun in the corner, relieved to find it was still there.
Maybe, that shotgun wasn’t such a bad idea after all, I thought to myself.
CHAPTER 10- SINS OF THE PAST
The next morning, I was startled awake by a loud knock on the screen door. The morning light was shining brightly through the sheer white curtains. Tiny jumped up and started barking as she ran towards the front door.
“Em! Em! You home Sweetie? It’s Aunt Georgia,” the voice said on the other side of the door as she continued to knock.
Sleepily, I wiped my eyes as I got up from the couch. I was surprised that I had managed to fall back asleep, especially after that horrible nightmare.
“Just a second!” I moaned as I patted down my hair, straightened my clothes, and fumbled towards the door with Tiny on my heels. I noticed Aunt Georgia was dressed in a duster, with her white hair twirled up in a bun perched atop her head, just like Grandma May used to. The resemblance was uncanny, leaving me speechless for a moment. Aunt Georgia had always looked like Grandma May, but now that she had aged some, she was a mirror image of her.
The knocking continued. Either Aunt Georgia’s hearing wasn’t as good as it once was, or she didn’t seem to think I was moving fast enough to answer the door. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Aunt Georgia now peeking through the window, her nose pressed against the glass alongside a calico cat that appeared to be fighting for her space. The sight was quite comical. Apparently, the cat was nosier than Aunt Georgia, and that was saying a lot.
Tiny was barking wildly at the cat. The cat was now hissing and pawing at the pane.
I gingerly opened the old metal door, careful not to let Tiny out.
Aunt Georgia smiled at me with outstretched arms and gave me a tight hug as she walked on in, and I quickly closed the door behind her.
Aunt Georgia smoothed down my hair, then let go and looked me in the eyes, and deepened her smile. She smelled of freshly baked apple pies. For as long as I could remember, when she wasn’t working, she was busy baking. Aunt Georgia loved having her family around and cooking for them.
“Oh my goodness, look at you. Lil’ Em all grown up and so pretty! Jenny would be so proud,” she said with tear-filled eyes.
“I know you don’t want to hear it, Em, but you look just like her. Jenny always was the pretty one. There wasn’t a boy from a hundred miles that didn’t want her attention and to think she wasted her beauty on Roy,” she said with a look of disgust.
I looked at Aunt Georgia and smiled.
>
“We are so glad to have you back. We have all missed you. I could kill that son of mine for not bringing you over last night. Staying over here all alone with Roy ‘round,” she said.
I just listened and nodded as Tiny barked wildly at the cat outside while Aunt Georgia continued to ramble.
Suddenly, as if she heard an alarm, she stopped mid-sentence and spoke.
“Well, look at me? I am doing all of the talking and not letting you get in a word edgewise. We are just so excited to have you back, Dear. Do you like what we did with the place?” she asked, looking around the room.
I nodded again.
“I mean, we didn’t have much time, but we did what we could,” she said.
“Didn’t you want me to stay here?” I asked, confused.
“Before, when we thought that Roy would let all of this go, we wanted you to stay here, but you ain’t safe Em, you ain’t. Roy probably did kill your mama, my sister. God rest her soul. If I wasn’t a church-going woman, I would go kill him myself. It has torn me apart, losing her,” Aunt Georgia said with tears in her eyes.
“So, Roy knows?” I asked. I could feel the familiar old fears rising inside me. I had first -hand knowledge of how evil Roy could be. I thought back to the times I had tried to defend Mama.
“Yep, it seems word travels around here. Roy knows everything going on in this town, and no matter what, he seems to always weasel his way out of jail. You can’t be here, Em. You gotta stay with us until we get it all worked out,” Aunt Georgia said with a worried expression.
“Thanks, Aunt Georgia, I will be fine,” I said, trying to convince her that I would be okay. But deep down, I knew that Roy was accustomed to getting his way no matter who he had to hurt to do so.
“Em, your mama would roll over in her grave if she knew you weren’t safe. I realize that she wasn’t the best mama in the world, but one thing is for sure, she loved you. She loved you in her own way,” Aunt Georgia said, fumbling with her pockets.
Tears rolled down my face as I thought of Mama. I quickly turned my head so that Aunt Georgia couldn’t see me crying.
“Let’s go into the kitchen and have some coffee to go with those pies of yours,” I suggested as Aunt Georgia followed behind me.
“Aunt Georgia, why didn’t you tell me all of this was going on with Roy? That he was trying to get the house?” I asked, looking down at my hands so as not to show concern.
“Honey, I thought it would be okay. I thought that we could somehow fix it all before you came, but Roy knows too many people,” Aunt Georgia said, fumbling with the red placemat in front of her.
“Did Roy get Jimmy hooked on drugs?” I asked, taking my gaze off my hands and looking at Aunt Georgia as my face turned red with anger.
“Jimmy was lost, Em. Especially after losing Jordy, Jackson moving away, and then you. Roy was there and paid Jimmy attention. But, Roy was only usin’ Jimmy. He got Jimmy hooked, and then he got Jimmy to push the drugs for him, too,” Aunt Georgia said with sadness in her eyes.
“So how did Jim get away from him?” I asked. I recalled how Jimmy told me that he didn’t work for Roy anymore.
“Who knows for sure if he has, Em. Jim hates Roy. Ain’t no doubt about that, but one thing is for sure, Jim loves his highs, and if Roy had them, I couldn’t see Jim turnin’ away his high no matter who it was from.”
I sighed. “So Roy wants the house, and by the sound of it will do whatever he needs to make sure that I don’t get it?” I asked, trying to change the subject of Jimmy’s addiction and possible connection to Roy. It was just too painful to think about.
“Yes, but Honey, we got to fight. Your mama wouldn’t want that scum, Roy, to have her home, no way!” Aunt Georgia said, unable to conceal the worried look on her face.
“You aren’t alone in this, Em... you got Julie and me, and I called Jackson early this morning. He will be here in a few minutes. Jackson can get you some help, and he knows a few good cops. Hopefully, it will keep Roy away,” she said, taking a sip of her coffee.
“Jackson is coming here?” I asked, embarrassed by my unkempt appearance. I hadn’t brushed my hair or bathed, and I still had on the same clothes from when I had arrived. My eyes were puffy and red.
“Yes, Em, I thought that would be easier on you. Jimmy told me that you were tired and just wanted to rest awhile.”
I was mortified. It didn’t matter how I had decided to feel about Jackson; the fact was that he would be here in a matter of minutes. I didn’t even have time to prepare. I was here for one reason, and that was to straighten out the estate. I had to stay focused. I told myself.
I got up to politely excuse myself from the table to try and pull myself together.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. It was too late! It was Jackson.
I stood there, frozen a minute, taken by surprise.
“Get it, Em,” Aunt Georgia whispered loudly. Quickly, she motioned me toward the door.
I shot her a look of frustration. It was clear she was still trying to play matchmaker with Jackson and me even after all of these years apart.
I hurriedly took the hair tie from my wrist and twisted my hair into a messy bun as I quickly wiped my eyes and did my best to smooth down my wrinkled, slept-in clothing.
I opened the door, and my heart nearly jumped from my chest. Standing in front of me was a tall man with dark hair, grey eyes, and a wide smile. Jackson hadn’t changed much since the day he left, except he was taller, and even more handsome. I stood there, silent for a moment as I tried to catch my breath.
He was dressed in a fitted button-up gray shirt that seemed to make his eyes shine brighter than I remembered and a pair of black slacks. The shirt fit perfectly against his muscular physique.
Why did he still have to look so good? I thought. I had to concentrate just to speak.
He reached out and hugged me tightly. “Em, I am so glad to see you. I haven’ t seen you in years. You’re as beautiful as ever,” he said warmly and then let go as though my untidy appearance hadn’t fazed him in the least.
“Thanks,” I said with a grin, both embarrassed and upset at myself that I couldn’t form the words I wanted to say to him. I had rehearsed them over and over in my head. I knew exactly what I would say if I ever saw him again, and now here I stood like some smitten schoolgirl.
“Oh, is this about the food and the utilities? I’m sorry if I overstepped my boundaries or anything, I just thought you might arrive tired and hungry and want a place of your own,” he said apologetically.
I wondered if Jackson had really forgotten that he had just up and left without a goodbye. Did I really mean so little to him? I thought.
“No. It’s fine. But, I insist on paying you back,” I said firmly, trying not to look Jackson directly in his eyes so that I could maintain what little bit of control I had left.
“Let’s not worry about all that right now. Your Aunt Georgia asked me to come here to make sure that you were safe and that we get things started so you don’t lose the place to Roy,” he said, bending down to pet Tiny as he picked her up and she seemed to melt in his arms.
I shot her a look of betrayal. I couldn’t believe that Tiny had fallen prey to his charm. First Aunt Georgia, now you, too, Tiny. I wondered if anyone was immune.
“Hello, Jackson! Come on in,” Aunt Georgia yelled from the kitchen with a huge smile.
I motioned for Jackson to follow me into the kitchen and then gestured for him to have a seat at the old maple kitchen table.
Begrudgingly, I poured him a cup of coffee as Aunt Georgia stood up to give him a tight hug.
“Thank you,” Jackson said with his million-dollar smile as he let go of her embrace and sat down.
Jackson pulled out several papers that he had been carrying from a large red folder as he spoke.
“Okay, here’s the thing, Em, as you know, Roy wants the house. Our firm hired a private detective to look into Roy, and he discovered that he and your mama were never ma
rried. Roy had another wife in Alabama, that he just abandoned one day. Apparently, he left her and an infant child behind. But, not before taking the last of a settlement that she had received from a car accident which had nearly killed her. The detective is still looking into it, but he seems to have hit a dead end. Our best guess is, Roy moved here, met your mama, and found out your parents had gotten money from one of the drilling companies for Jordy’s accidental death which had occurred from the old abandoned well not being properly sealed,” he said, reading from his notes.
“What? Jordy’s death was accidental? It really wasn’t my fault?” The words going through my head just fell out of my mouth. All of these years, I had blamed myself for Jordy’s death.
“No, Em, it wasn’t,” Jackson assured me.
“But still I wasn’t there. I was supposed to protect Jordy,” I said, fighting back the tears in my eyes.
“What happened to Jordy was terrible. I was there, Em, I know. Remember?” he said warmly.
How could I not remember?
I nodded, yes.
“In no way did you have anything to do with this. It was the drilling company. They had come from out of town., bought a piece of the land. Your Daddy sold it to them without telling your Mama. Patrick gambled most of it away. Jordy died because of the company’s negligence, not because of anything to do with you.”
A heaviness filled my chest. For the first time ever, I was considering the possibility that I hadn’t been responsible for Jordy’s death. I had felt responsible for so long. The pain was almost too much to bear. Despite my best attempts, the tears started flowing down my cheeks, and I couldn’t stop them.
I stood up from the table and walked to the kitchen window with my back to Jackson and Aunt Georgia. I was determined not to let either of them see me crying, especially not Jackson.
“It’s okay Em, we’ll get this fixed. We’ll make it right for you and for Jordy,” Jackson said as he walked over to me, placing his hand on my shoulder to comfort me. His touch eased the hurt. I wanted to turn around, to embrace him. I couldn’t open my heart back up to him. I wouldn’t have it broken again. I shrugged him off and walked back to the coffee pot to pour myself another cup.
Butterfly Secrets Page 6
