“About what?” I asked, still somewhat guarded.
“Did you know he used to work for Roy?” Jackson asked.
“Yes, as a matter of fact, he told me that,” I said defensively. I was tired of people prying into my life.
“Did he tell you that to get away from Roy, he still runs parts for him sometimes?” Jackson said.
My heart pounded. I thought of what Kev said about Roy and about how Roy sold drugs out of the shop.
“No, but I’m sure it is harmless,” I said, trying to cover up my concern.
“He’s dangerous, Em. Anyone associated with Roy is trouble and I want you to stay away from him,” Jackson said.
“Jackson, I’m a grown woman, and I will decide who I need to be around, besides, I can take care of myself.” I knew that Jackson was just worried, but the last thing I needed was another person trying to tell me what to do. There was no way I was going to end up like Mama. Yet, deep down, I knew that Jackson was nothing like Roy or Daddy and that he was just concerned.
“Calm down, Em. I’m just saying that your gun may not be enough,” Jackson said as he placed his hand on my arm to comfort me.
Shivers ran up and down my spine. It was hard to think straight with this man around. I wanted to be mad, but I couldn’t.
“Look, I appreciate your concern, but I am fine, and I’m getting this taken care of, and I’m going back to Chicago as soon as possible. End of story,” I said.
We rode the remainder of the way in awkward silence. I couldn’t help but wonder about what Kev had said about Jackson. What did he know? Maybe, he really was too good to be true. But how? He had been nothing but helpful and kind to me, and like everyone that started to care for me, I just pushed him away. I could hear Grandma May telling me that sometimes the only way to heal a heart was to break it. I knew Grandma meant well. However, what she hadn’t realized was that my heart had been broken too many times to be healed.
CHAPTER 15- MEMORY LANE
Jackson and I arrived at my house. I could hear Tiny barking from inside.
“Thanks, Jackson,” I said as I closed the car door. I just wanted to go inside and sit with Tiny. Jackson was the kind of guy that someone could easily fall for. He was caring, but also rugged and protective. I surmised that it was best to end it now before things went any further. I was broken. I didn’t even know what love was. I needed to go back to Chicago soon!
To my surprise, Jackson got out of the car and followed me.
“Just want to make sure that you are safe, Em,” he said.
My heart pounded. I couldn’t just tell Jackson to leave. I would let him stay a few minutes, but that would be it.
I opened the door, and Jackson followed me. Tiny seemed unnerved by our presence as she played with her toy. In a way, our lives seemed very similar. Except, Jackson never knew his father. His dad skipped town as soon as his mama found out she was pregnant with him. It seemed most people would hold a lot of anger for that happening. But for Jackson, it just appeared as though it made him want to work harder to support his mama and granny. Jackson’s grandfather had moved to Maine after his grandma and grandpa divorced. The word was that Jackson’s grandfather never really felt at home in Lancaster, and his heart was in Maine. Jackson’s grandfather loved sailing and the ocean. He had spent his life on the water and moved back there, where he owned his own deep-sea fishing boat. But his grandma loved Lancaster. However, the two of them remained friends throughout the years.
“Em, I’m sorry for what I said in the car. It’s not like I think that you can’t take care of yourself. I- I just don’t want anything to happen to you,” he said as he opened a closet door and looked in inside, determined to make sure every inch of the house was covered.
“I know, and I appreciate that. But, I can take care of myself. I’ve done it for years. It’s not like I had anyone to look after me, anyway, at least not since Grandma died,” I said softly.
“I don’t doubt that, Dr. Smith,” he said playfully.
“And I could say the same about you, Attorney Jackson Roderick,” I said, grinning at him.
“So, what about you? What did you do for all those years you were away?” I asked. Realizing there was a lot I didn’t know about Jackson, and like me, he didn’t talk much about himself.
“When Mama got worried about me turning out like my father, she forced me to go North to stay. I spent my summers with Grandpa on the sea. It was rough out there sometimes. We even had a few run-ins with death, but that’s where my love of the water started. There’s something about the freedom of the sea and the wind against your back that is like nothing I’ve ever experienced. I guess that’s why I bought my bike. It’s the best I can have down here,” he said.
Jackson stopped checking the closets for a moment and looked me in the eyes as he touched my shoulder. I felt a magnetic pull towards him. I turned away, trying to resist his charm. I felt his callused hand as it brushed against mine. There was more to this man than I knew.
“It’s alright to let someone be there for you, Em. There are times when we all need it. I want Roy to pay as much as you do. Remember, I was there that day,” he said.
I nodded and walked away, over to the kitchen, toward the coffee pot.
“Do you want some coffee?” I asked, trying to change the subject and remembering that he was there, but he had left.
“I know what you’re thinking, Em. I left, but I had to. It wasn’t my choice. I knew once I got there that I had to make something of myself. Grandpa sent me to military school. He believed I needed the discipline after the stories Grandma had told him. I didn’t help things either by getting into constant fights once I got there. I had a hard time fitting in,” he explained.
“I wanted to come back, but I couldn’t, Em,” he said apologetically, looking at me with intense eyes.
“I can’t imagine you, having a hard time fitting in anywhere,” I said, slightly smiling to lighten the mood.
“Lincoln, Maine may as well have been a different continent compared to Lancaster,” he laughed.
“I guess this place does have a strange allure you can’t escape,” I said.
“I’m glad I can be here for you now, Em,” Jackson said.
Jackson leaned in closer to me as if he was about to kiss me. I paused for a second before pulling away.
We stood there staring at each other for a moment before Tiny jumped up on Jackson’s leg, breaking the awkward tension between us.
“Let me just check around upstairs to make sure it is safe, and I will be right down,” Jackson said, obviously trying to create some distance.
I breathed a sigh of relief as I picked up Tiny. Finally, a moment alone with my thoughts. I couldn’t think straight with Jackson around. Near Jackson, I seemed to lose all sense of reason. I decided that I would make polite conversation for a few minutes over coffee, and then he would leave.
Moments later, Jackson walked down the stairs. He nearly took my breath away, even in his dirt-stained attire he was still wearing from the game earlier. His hair was just a bit in disarray, and he flashed me a smile. I loved his dark beard that had flecks of silver to match his eyes. He was only 27, but his beard had grayed early. It made him look distinguished and irresistible.
I swallowed hard as I tried to contain myself.
“So, how did you become an attorney?” I asked, trying to distract myself.
“I guess I got into trouble so much that I figured it was the closest I could be to the law without being the law. Besides, I like defending others,” he said, smiling.
I nodded. Jackson always did protect those he cared about.
“That explains a lot,” I said, looking down at my coffee cup, careful not to reveal too much to Jackson. I couldn’t tell him what really happened. I couldn’t tell anyone. It was something so terrible that it haunted my days and nights and followed me around like some sickness that ate at my insides and refused to go away. No, Jackson couldn’t know what really happe
ned. Or anyone else for that matter. It was too horrible to speak of. Jackson interrupted my thoughts.
“Em, is there, I mean is there anything still there between you and Kev....?”
“Not like it is any of your business, Jackson, but there isn’t anything happening. That was a long time ago,” I said, irritated.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just saw you ride to the game with Kev, and I just worry because of his ties to Roy,” he said.
“It was just a ride, Jackson, nothing more.”
“I’m fine. I wish everyone would stop worrying about me.” I said.
I had managed for years. I wasn’t about to need someone now.
Tiny pawed at the door.
“I think she wants outside. You want me to let her out?” Jackson asked, smiling his signature dimpled smile that melted my heart.
“Yeah sure,” I said, grabbing our coffee cups and following him through the door. I reasoned that if we drank our coffee outside, then Jackson would soon go home, and that would avoid any temptation.
Jackson and I took a seat on the porch swing as we watched Tiny sniff around the yard.
“Sure is peaceful out here, isn’t it?” Jackson asked as he took a deep breath and exhaled.
“Depends on what you think peace is. Guess I’ve gotten used to the sounds of the city,” I said with a grin.
“You are kidding me? You mean you’d rather hear the sounds of sirens, subways, and loud noises all through the night than this? Not me. I’m glad to be back,” Jackson said, leaning against the swing and folding his arms above his head.
“Well, better than those stupid crickets and frogs,” I said jokingly.
“There was a time when you used to sit at your Aunt Georgia’s on her swing and listen for hours to the crickets and frogs,” he said, giving me a look of nostalgia.
I nodded as I thought of how much I had changed over the years.
“That was a long time ago. I was just a young girl then who knew nothing about the real world,” I said cynically.
“You used to talk about how you were going to get away from here. You talked about how you and Jordy were gonna move away,” Jackson said, not acknowledging my cynicism.
“Yeah. I did,” I said, surprised that Jackson had remembered that.
“So why didn’t you stay in Maine considering how much you loved sailing? I asked.
“Truth?” Jackson asked.
“Yes,” I said.
“I just couldn’t leave Mama and Grandma. I was all they had. Besides, I figured people could just as much use a good lawyer around here than anywhere. Actually, even more. People deserve to be treated fairly,” Jackson said, sitting on the swing.
My heart told me that Jackson was a good guy and that I could trust him. Still, a part of me recalled what Kev had said.
Tiny came back on the porch and, to my surprise, jumped up in Jackson’s lap. She licked his nose and then settled herself as he laughed and petted her. Jackson and I talked longer than I expected.
Much later, I awoke on the couch. I surveyed my surroundings and looked around the room, trying to orient myself.
I thought back to the night and sitting on the porch swing, talking to Jackson. Funny, but I didn’t even remember him leaving or walking into the living room to fall asleep. I must have been much more tired than I had realized.
He must have left in the night. Good. It was best that way, I told myself.
I felt around on the couch for Tiny. To my surprise, Tiny wasn’t there.
“Tiny!” I yelled. “Tiny!” Where was Tiny?
I threw off the old patchwork quilt and jumped up, calling for her as I looked around the living room in a panic.
Tiny came running into the living room. I picked her up, and she licked my face.
“Tiny, you’re okay,” I said, relieved.
To my surprise, Jackson walked out of the kitchen, wiping his hands on a towel.
He still looked just as handsome as before. He had changed into a white tee and jeans that he kept in his vehicle.
“You okay?” he asked.
My heart skipped a beat. What was Jackson doing here? He must have stayed the night. Was I that tired that I didn’t remember?
“You’re still here?” I asked, puzzled.
“Yeah. We sat on the swing and talked all night, and then you fell asleep. I tried to wake you, but you mumbled five more minutes and then laid your head back on my shoulder. It was getting cold, so I carried you inside, laid you on the couch, and covered you up,” he said.
“Where did you, I mean...”
“I slept in that chair across from you,” Jackson said, interrupting and pointing to a throw wadded up on the chair.
“You stayed the entire night?” I asked.
“Yeah, sorry, Em. Hope you aren’t mad. I couldn’t bear leaving you with court going on today and after Roy sneaking around here,” Jackson said apologetically.
I couldn’t believe it. For the first time ever since Jordy died. I had felt at peace and safe. I had slept, really slept, and I felt rested. To top it all off, Jackson had been the perfect gentleman.
“I made you breakfast, scrambled eggs, ham and toast. That’s about all that I can make that isn’t microwaved. Didn’t get much time for cookin’ when I was studying law,” Jackson said with a wide grin.
“It’s fine,” I said as I smoothed down my hair and walked into the kitchen.
Jackson had poured me a fresh cup of coffee and had placed my breakfast on a plate with a fork and napkin laid neatly beside it.
“I fed Tiny, too,” Jackson said with a smile. “Hope you don’t mind, but I gave her a treat as well.”
“I hope that you aren’t trying to win over my dog from me,” I teased.
“Nah, just tryin’ to make sure she doesn’t bite me,” he said jokingly.
Tiny ran around Jackson’s legs and licked them and wagged her tail happily as he threw her toy, and she eagerly brought it back. It was clear that Tiny had no intention of biting Jackson.
“Eat up! You’ll need your strength for court,” Jackson said as he refilled my coffee cup.
“Oh, no! Court!” I exclaimed as I looked at the clock. “It’s in less than two hours.”
“We’ve got time. We can ride in together,” Jackson said.
“I can’t, Jackson. I’m riding in with Jimmy, Julie, and Aunt Georgia. Besides, the last thing I need is anyone finding out that you spent the night here,” I said as I got up from the table. Deep down, I knew that Aunt Georgia, Jimmy, and Julie knew that Jackson was a good guy and that he wouldn’t take advantage of me. But, I couldn’t allow myself to get close to Jackson. I just couldn’t. I would stick to the original plan and go back to Chicago. It was the best. Best for me. Best for Jackson and everyone else.
“But Em, we didn’t do anything,” Jackson, said surprised.
“I know, but ya gotta go,” I said, gathering up his things.
Jackson reluctantly helped gather the rest of his things and got his phone off of the coffee table. Tiny followed him and whimpered.
“Bye, I guess, I’ll see ya in court,” he said, appearing shocked that I was booting him out the door so abruptly.
I closed the door and peeked through the window as Jackson drove off. He was the perfect gentleman. He was handsome, smart, and had been nothing but pleasant to me, and I had literally just pushed him out the door.
Jackson was part of my past. My past was something I had spent my life running from, and I couldn’t let him, or anyone for that matter, dredge up what I had fought so hard to put behind me.
CHAPTER 16- ROY
I finished getting ready and put on a copper-colored flowing skirt and turquoise blouse. I reached into my jewelry box given to me by Jordy and put on a bangle bracelet. I took a deep breath as I looked into the mirror and forced a smile.
“This is for you, Jordy, Grandma, Daddy, and Mama. I’m getting the house for good,” I said, gathering my strength.
> I then heard a knock on the door. I looked out the window to see Jimmy. Even he had attempted to upscale his appearance. He had on a blue polo and khakis.
“Jimmy, you’re dressed up,” I said in shock.
“Don’t get used to it, Cuz. Mama made me do it. Said I didn’t need to go to court lookin’ like no hobo. That woman don’t understand swag, but I wanted to be there to support you. So, here I am,” he said with a smile.
“Well, thank you. I appreciate it.” I said, giving him a hug.
“Wouldn’t have it any other way, Cuz. Me, Mama, and Julie, we’re here for ya. That’s what family does,” he said.
I let go of Jimmy and dried my eyes. Jimmy got into his car, and I followed behind.
Aunt Georgia was dressed in her Sunday best, and Julie was wearing a pink skirt and white top.
“It will all be okay, Honey,” Aunt Georgia said.
I nodded, trying to assure Aunt Georgia that I was okay even though I clearly wasn’t.
“Where are the kids?” I asked Julie.
“They’re with my friend, Amy, from work. Kyle can’t sit still to save his life, and besides, I just don’t want them around Roy,” Julie said.
“It’s okay, Jules. I understand. I do,” I said.
We finally arrived at the courthouse. Roy stood outside. He was dressed in a black button-up, black jeans, and was wearing a huge silver belt buckle. He also wore black pointed toe cowboy boots with a shiny silver tip. Some men stood beside him. They stared at us as we walked inside. Roy smirked as I walked by.
“Don’t pay them no attention, Honey, you just go in there and say what’s on your mind. Everyone knows your mama and daddy wanted you to have this place. He’s just tryin’ to scare you is all,” Aunt Georgia whispered.
Jimmy quickly turned around as though he was going to walk up to Roy to punch him in the face.
“Better watch yourself, Jim. I’d hate if something happened to that pretty-boy face of yours,” Roy said with an evil grin.
Jimmy started towards Roy, but Julie and Aunt Georgia were quick to pull Jim back.
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