by S. E. Brown
The next step was to wash him off her. She recalled his orgasm and raised her hand to her breast. It felt sticky.
Fuck…
She walked straight into her bathroom and turned on the shower. She just needed him gone.
The hot water pounded her flesh. She grabbed the soap and ran it over every inch of her body, removing any remaining traces of that cheating son of a bitch.
How could I have been so stupid?
How in the fuck did I not recognize him?
Finished with her shower, she sat on her bed, slowly running her fingers through her long red curls. She felt slightly better.
The next step was to talk to Ryan. Clear the air.
Jaxon was probably right. Ryan probably wouldn’t care … much. She was married to Cody. She was happy. Jaxon was a mere blip in her history. Madison couldn’t help but feel she betrayed her friend though. It was the unwritten rule – you don’t sleep with a friend’s ex. You just don’t. And while Madison’s code could be viewed by some as lax, especially when it came to sex, that was a rule she had never broken.
Madison had a difficult childhood that was filled with anything but love. Her parents hadn’t wanted her, and they reminded her of that fact every chance they could. And when she finally found someone to love, her world had been turned upside down. Twice. And this wasn’t a case where two wrongs made a right. Not even close.
But when it came to men, Madison didn’t much care. She had fun. She liked to party. She didn’t date. And she loved having sex. However, she wasn’t in the habit of breaking up relationships. Hell, most of the time she knew so little about the men she was sleeping with she wouldn’t have known if she was breaking anything up anyway. And she certainly wasn’t in the habit of hurting her friends.
Madison was loyal, down to her bones. There was nothing she wouldn’t do for the people in her life. And for the ones she loved, she’d die for. In her lifetime, however, that had included only four people. Two of them were gone now. And there had been nothing she could do to stop them from leaving. That meant she’d do everything she could to keep the others safe.
Reaching for her phone, she typed out a message to Ryan.
Madison: Hey girl. You guys make it home okay?
Ryan: We did. You have a good birthday night?
Madison: LOL. Yeh, it was interesting, that’s for sure.
Ryan: Sounds like we missed some fun after we left.
Madison: Something like that.
Ryan: :)
Madison: Do you think you could meet me for coffee? I need to talk to you.
Ryan: Everything okay?
Madison: Yeh. Killer hangover, ya know.
Ryan: Okay. Give me about an hour?
Madison: Sounds good.
Madison finished getting ready and headed to the coffee shop they visited when Ryan was in Town. She would be early, but it would give her a chance to get some caffeine in her system before Ryan arrived. She’d need all the help she could get.
A cup and a half later, Ryan walked in. Madison noted the “just fucked” smile on her face. “Looks like you two had fun last night.”
Ryan smiled as her face turned pink. There was nothing she could do to control it. “Yeh, we did,” she said dreamily. “Let me get something to drink and then we can talk, okay?”
“Yep,” Madison nodded, reaching for her own cup again.
Ryan turned to watch Madison while she waited for the barista to prepare her morning jolt. Something was wrong. She knew Madison probably had a pretty severe hangover this morning given what she’d seen her drink, and she was sure the drinks continued after she left, but it was something else.
Walking back to the table, Ryan sat her coffee down and took her place in the chair across from Madison. “Okay, just spit it out. I know something’s going on, I just can’t tell what it is.”
Madison looked at her and sighed. They really did know each other well. Too well sometimes.
“You know I don’t sugar coat things, so here you go.”
Ryan waited while Madison drew in a deep breath.
“After you guys left I had some drinks. Many more, in fact. I was out on the dance floor when someone started dancing up on me. When I turned to face him, I recognized him but couldn’t think of his name. He ended up going home with me. This morning when I woke up, I finally realized who he was.”
“It was Jaxon, right?” Ryan asked simply.
Madison’s face showed her shock. “How did you know?”
“He’s the only guy that would have you this worked up,” Ryan said calmly with a shrug.
“I’m sorry, Ryan. I am so, so sorry.”
“Mad, hon…” Ryan reached across the table and took Madison’s hand in hers. She knew there was no way Madison did this to hurt her. “It’s okay.”
“But it was Jaxon.”
“Okay. It was Jaxon.” Ryan shrugged again as she shook her head. “What’s done is done.”
Madison looked at her without saying a word. It was weird how their roles were reversed. It was usually Ryan who was the neurotic one while Madison would tell her everything would be fine and not make whatever situation was happening bigger than it was.
“Look. I know Jaxon. I know his charm. I know how good he is in bed and now you know those things, too,” Ryan looked at Madison and grinned.
“I know, but…” Madison didn’t think any aspect of this was funny.
“But nothing. Honestly, I’m not all that surprised. You guys live in the same town so running into him could have happened at any time. I also saw how he was looking at you that night at the shore. I asked him to leave you alone that night.”
“You did?”
Ryan nodded. “I did.” She paused to take a sip of her coffee. “And quite frankly, if Jaxon was drinking, last night could have been just to get at me.”
It wasn’t meant to be a zinger, and Ryan really hoped Madison didn’t take it that way. That was just Jaxon. She had seen him become a complete jackass when he drank, like that night at the shore.
Why in the hell would I have left with Jaxon when Cody was standing right there?
Ryan wouldn’t put it past Jaxon to use Madison just to piss her off. It wasn’t fair, and it wasn’t nice, but it was something he would do when he was drinking.
Madison knew she had a point.
“I have Cody now, Mad,” Ryan shrugged with a smile. Her eyes lit up as she thought about her husband. “It’s okay.”
“So you still love me?” Madison asked her.
Ryan threw her head back with laughter. “Oh my god, Mad!” She shook her head and continued to laugh. “Can I have Madison back please? My Madison? Normal Madison? This neurotic thing is so not you.”
“You’re right,” Madison agreed. “I knew you’d be more okay with it than me, I just had to tell you. I couldn’t keep that from you.”
“And I appreciate that, I really do.”
Madison smiled as she reached for her coffee.
Reaching into her bag, Ryan looked for a small white bottle containing aspirin. She set the bottle on the table and went back to the counter and bought a bottle of water. When she returned, she opened the container, poured two pills into her hand and cracked open the water.
Handing them both to Madison, she instructed, “Drink up. The only things that will save you now are aspirin and water.”
“Thank you,” Madison said quietly as she took them from Ryan.
Tomorrow would be better. Tomorrow she would feel like a normal human being again.
Chapter 3
Although the talk went well, probably better than she could have hoped for, actually, and she knew Ryan wasn’t mad at her, Madison was still kicking herself the next day.
She knew when she drank that much and felt that little, things happened. It had happened before and she was damned if she was ever going to let it happen again. Not only could she have put a significant dent in her relationship with Ryan, it was stupid. And dangerous.
Sure, Madison had been partial to many one-night stands, but she was in control then. Her wits were about her. Her brain was functioning. The only thing functioning that night with Jaxon was her libido. That just made her angry.
And where the hell was Jessa? She was supposed to have been keeping an eye on her. Not that Madison needed a babysitter, but someone had needed to be the voice of reason that night, and that was supposed to have been Jessa. Madison hardly saw her that night.
Shit. I don’t even know if she got home okay.
Jessa lived in Nashville but kept a place in Charlotte. Sometimes she just needed to get out of Music City for a break, and a lot of times that led her back to North Carolina. Her most recent break just happened to coincide with Madison’s birthday.
Grabbing her phone, Madison unlocked the screen, made her way to Jessa’s contact information and pushed the button to make the call. When there was no answer, she opened her text app.
Madison: Hey girl, Just checking in from the other night. Wanted to make sure you got home okay. Give me a call when you have a sec. I have something to tell you.
It wasn’t unusual for Jessa to not answer the phone. If she was working on a song, she would often turn off the ringer or just ignore her calls completely. Madison went back to her work, knowing she would call when she had a chance.
A few minutes later Madison almost jumped out of her seat when the phone rang. Apparently she had set her ringer volume to “wake the dead.”
“Hey, Jess.”
“Hey, what’s up?”
Madison chuckled. “Not much. Just wanted to check in with you, make sure you weren’t dead. Make sure you got home okay the other night.”
“Oh, I got home alright,” she laughed. “The question is, did you?”
“You mean because I took off with some total stranger?”
“Well, yeh.”
“I can’t believe you let me leave. What was up with that shit? You knew I was completely wasted.”
“You told me you had it. You were in control.”
“Jessa…” Madison growled.
“Seriously, Q. You told me not to give you any shit about it and let you go with the guy. You wouldn’t even tell me his name.”
“That’s because I didn’t know what the fuck it was!”
“Are you shitting me?”
“No. It wasn’t until I woke up the next morning – with him still in my bed – that I realized it was Ryan’s ex, Jaxon.”
Jessa was quite familiar with the “no guys spend the night” rule because she lived by it, too. “Oh shit. How did you manage that?”
“I have no idea. I remember him looking really familiar, but I couldn’t have told you his name if I tried.”
“Yeh, you didn’t try. At least not when I was talking to you.”
“I barely remember our conversation, I was so fucking shit-faced.”
“Well, the good news is you’re okay, right?”
“Yeh, I’m fine. I’m just pissed for putting myself in that situation. I’d like to say I’m pissed at you about it, but -“
“Dude, I tried. You swore you were fine and told me not to give you shit about it.”
Madison sighed. That sounded exactly like something she would say. “I’m sorry. I really shouldn’t have gone home with him. You have my permission to restrain me, even punch me in the face if you have to, if I ever try to do something that stupid again. Hell, I know you always have a pair of handcuffs in your bag - use them if you have to.”
“Can I have that in blood please?
“Very funny.”
“Have you told Ryan yet?”
“Yeh, we talked yesterday. She says she’s fine with it. She knows I wouldn’t have slept with him if I had recognized him.”
Jessa sighed. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”
“Yeh, me, too.”
“So, how was he? Cuz he was looking pretty fine dancing up on you.”
“The sad part is he was good. Really good.” She paused as a reminder of him sliding into her rushed past her mind’s eye, making her shiver. “But as soon as he left I completely stripped the bed and hit the shower. I wanted him gone, and I never want to think about that shit again.”
“Too bad. He had a really nice ass.”
Madison groaned and tried to change the subject. “So who’s that guy you were with?”
“You mean Trent?”
“Was there another guy whose throat you had your tongue down?”
Jessa laughed, thinking back to how fun it had been to have her tongue down his throat. “No, just his.”
“So, who is this guy?”
Madison could hear paper shuffling on the other end.
“I’ll tell you all about him, I promise, but I really should get going. I’m in the middle of a song but wanted to make sure you were okay. Can I call you later?”
“Yeh, of course.”
Madison felt a little better as she disconnected the call. She didn’t typically angst this much over her actions, especially when it came to men, but all the potential “what ifs” had been racing through her mind.
What if he had been dangerous?
What if he had tried to rape me?
What if I had recognized him? Would I still have slept with him? No way in hell!
Why don’t I remember anything about a condom?
She was on birth control, she had been for years, but she knew it wasn’t always effective. She’d had a scare, more than once, and the last thing she needed in her life was an STD. Or worse, to end up pregnant with Jaxon’s baby.
How in the hell would I explain that to Ryan?
Sighing, Madison decided she needed to work out her feelings on a bag. She looked up the website for the gym around the corner hoping there would be a kickboxing class she could make.
Madison loved kickboxing. It served its purpose as her exercise and helped with self-defense, but mostly it was her way to relieve aggression. Basically, she liked hitting and kicking the shit out of something. Some days she saw the faces of people she’d like to punch and it made her workout that much more intense.
The gym she usually went to was closer to her house but was undergoing renovations, and it would be closed for a couple weeks. She had figured she could get some runs in to make up for the missed classes, but she really needed to punch something. And Jaxon’s face was sure to be imprinted on both pads.
After shutting down everything in the office, she ran to her car and grabbed the gym bag she kept in her trunk. Never knowing when the mood to work out might hit her, she made sure it was packed and ready to go each morning.
Madison had peeked into the windows of this particular gym before, wondering if it wouldn’t be a better place to join since it was close to work. The other was closed, so it looked like this was her shot to check it out.
When she walked in, she was greeted with the smell of sweat, the sound of gloves hitting pads and the thump of a distant bass that seemed to be coming from a large room off to the side. She could see bags hanging from the ceiling and there was a class just finishing up.
In the center of the open area in front of her was an elevated boxing ring. She’d never been inside one before, and if she was being honest, it both excited and terrified her. Madison loved hitting the pads and kicking the bag, sure, but the idea of being in the ring with another person? She wasn’t afraid for herself - she was afraid she’d truly hurt her opponent.
At that moment, the ring was empty, but she noticed a couple of guys working on speed bags with a coach and another jumping rope. They all looked to be pretty hard core boxers and she wondered briefly if she was out of her element.
As the person in front of her finished his transaction, Madison walked up to the counter.
“Hi. How can I help you?” the girl behind the desk asked with a smile.
“I was wondering if I could get into the five o’clock kickboxing class. I’ve never been here before, so I’m not sure how quickly your cl
asses fill.”
“Oh, that’s not a problem. We always leave one or two spots open until the very end, just in case we get someone new who wants to join.”
“Great.”
“I’m Issy. If you need anything, just let me know,” the young girl mentioned as she gathered a few pieces of paper and a clipboard. “I’ll just need you to fill out a little paperwork and I can get you into our system.”
“Okay.” Madison looked at her phone to find the time.
“You know what? Today’s class is on us anyway. Why don’t I have you fill these out after class? That way you’ll have time to change.”
“That would be great. Thanks,” she answered, relieved. “I’ll be sure to stop by after.”
Issy smiled and handed Madison a key for a locker and pointed to where she should go.
Madison thanked her again and tried to ignore the hair standing straight up on her arms.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The class had been just what Madison needed. Through it she punched and kicked the shit out of the bag, picturing Jaxon’s face nearly every time. The instructor had them moving at a slower pace than she was used to but it was just an introductory class. Madison wouldn’t call herself a kickboxing pro, not by any stretch, but she was way beyond the introductory level. She simply added a few extra moves and upped her intensity to get what she wanted from the class.
Somewhere in the middle of it all, she finally stopped beating herself up, told herself to quit being a pussy and get over what happened. She was fine and safe, and Jaxon was a douche. The latter was anything but breaking news. Anyone who would cheat on someone like Ryan definitely deserved the title.
Energized knowing what was in the past was now truly done and in the past, Madison unwrapped the gloves from her hands and walked back to the locker room.
Still hot and sweaty, she grabbed her things from the locker and headed back to where Issy was waiting for her with paperwork. She liked how the instructor ran the class and figured if she could pay as she went for classes at this gym, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to complete the paperwork. If she was running late or there were issues at the other gym, at least she’d have an alternative.
