Bagheads

by Woods, Karen

  KAREN WOODS

  EMPIRE PUBLICATIONS

  WWW.EMPIRE-UK.COM

  *

  First published in 2012 by Empire Publications

  Smashwords Edition

  © Karen Woods 2012

  ISBN: 1901746 879

  The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

  Published by Empire Publications at Smashwords

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  This book is available in print at:

  http://www.empire-uk.com

  *

  TRY BEFORE YOU BUY

  I destroy homes, tear families apart,

  Take your children, and that’s just the start.

  I’m more costly than diamonds, more costly than gold,

  The sorrow I bring is a sight to behold,

  And if you need me, remember I’m easily found.

  I live all around you, in schools and in town.

  I live with the rich, I live with the poor,

  I live down the street, and maybe next door.

  My power is awesome; try me you’ll see,

  But if you do, you may never break free.

  Just try me once and I might let you go,

  But try me twice, and ill own your soul.

  When I possess you, you’ll steal and you’ll lie.

  You do what you have to just to get high.

  The crimes you’ll commit, for the narcotic charms,

  Will be worth the pleasure you’ll feel in your arms.

  You’ll lie to your mother; you’ll steal from your dad

  When you see their tears, you should feel sad.

  But you’ll forget your morals and how you were raised,

  I’ll be your conscience, I’ll teach you my ways.

  I take kids from parents, and parents from kids,

  I turn people from god, and separate friends.

  I’ll take everything from you, your looks and your pride;

  I’ll be with you always, right by your side.

  You’ll give up everything your family, your home,

  Your friends, your money, then you’ll be alone.

  I’ll take and take, till you have nothing more to give.

  When I’m finished with you you’ll be lucky to live.

  If you try me be warned this is no game.

  If given the chance, I’ll drive you insane.

  I’ll ravish your body; I’ll control your mind.

  I’ll own you completely; your soul will be mine.

  The nightmares I’ll give you while lying in bed,

  The voices you’ll hear from inside your head,

  The sweat, the shakes, the visions you’ll see;

  I want you to know, these are all gifts from me,

  But then its too late, and you’ll know in your heart,

  That you are mine, and we shall not part.

  You’ll regret that you tried me, they always do,

  But you came to me, not I to you.

  You knew this would happen. Many times you were told,

  But you challenged my power, and you chose to be bold.

  You could have said no, and just walked away,

  If you could live that day over, now what would you say?

  I’ll be your master; you will be my slave,

  I’ll even go with you, when you go to your grave.

  Now that you have met me, what will you do?

  Will you try me or not? Its all up to you.

  I can bring you more misery than words can tell.

  Come take my hand, let me lead you to hell.

  *

  Foreword

  Karen Woods is an author that Manchester should be proud of. Her books play with your emotions and make you feel you are living the life of the characters.

  ‘Bagheads’ take you on a journey into the underworld of drugs and crime and depicts the harsh reality of life some people live in our inner-cities. The storyline shows that no matter what happens, no matter what life throws at a mother, her love for her off-spring never dies.

  Shaun Cook is the main character. He is mixed-up in the dark world of drugs and crime. I feel he is someone who we can all relate to even though we may not like admitting it! His life shows the misery and desperation that one human being endures and suffers through living such a life.

  ‘Bagheads’ also relates to Shaun’s family and how living with a drug addict can affect their lives too. It is a story we very rarely get to hear. With every page you turn you learn something new about a world that is a million miles away from many people’s lives.

  This is a book that stays with you long after you have put it down. The heart-felt emotion pulls on your heart strings.

  Karen is truly a talented author who tells it just as it is. She holds nothing back and weaves northern humour through her words in her own inimitable writing style. She is without doubt the best social realist author I have had the pleasure to read in a long, long time.

  ‘Bagheads’ is a world that many don’t see and hopefully never will and her story teaches you not to judge people without knowing the full facts about the life they have led.

  It is truly an eye-opener and Karen is an inspiration to many. Laugh, cry and be disturbed. Most of all feel the emotion of every single word.

  I know I did.

  Crissy Rock

  *

  Acknowledgements

  Thanks to my four children - Ashley Blake Declan and Darcy. I love you all with all my heart and thanks for all your support. Thanks also to my grandchildren - Dolton, Marci and Cruz. A big thanks to James who is always by my side supporting me and my mother Margaret who has spent ages with me going through my books and helping me to become a better writer. Thanks to my dad Alan who is always there behind me supporting me.

  I’ve met some amazing people since I’ve been writing and my PR Judith Broadbent is one amazing lady, she’s always by my side and is always willing to go that extra mile for me. Richard Brecker at Celebrities Worldwide deserves a mention too for all his help and support.

  Bagheads has taken me back to my youth living in Harpurhey in Manchester. My brother Darren has always been close to my thoughts whilst I have been writing this book and I know once he reads it, it will bring a smile to his face and pull at his heart strings. “This one’s for you Our Kid”. You’re my brother, my friend and I’ll always be your big sis.

  Thanks to all my readers because without you all I would have probably given up writing a long time ago. To all my Facebook friends thank you for your support, you have been amazing.

  Also to John Ireland and Ashley Shaw at Empire, thanks for your support and believing in me.

  Bagheads is dedicated to all those people from Harpurhey, Monsall, Moston, Collyhurst, Miles Platting and Ancoats, who lost their lives to drugs. You will stay in our memories forever and never be forgotten.

  Also, a big massive thanks to Crissy Rock for her support and believing in my work she’s an inspiration to women worldwide.

  “Always chase your dreams and never give up believing in yourself. Anything is possible with self-belief”.

  My last thanks as always is to my son in heaven Dale. Goodnight God bless son. Love you always.

  Karen x

  *

  Chapter One

  Looking at his reflection in the mirror, Shaun Cook pulled at the baggy skin around his cheekbones. His life
had taken him to places you could have only ever seen in your nightmares but even for him this seemed an all-time low. The bathroom mirror was covered in mist as he struggled to see his reflection. Shaun’s trembling hand slowly wiped the glass as he stared at a face that he struggled to recognise. As he shook his head, tears started to form in the corner of his eyes.

  Shaun’s eyes looked like dark grey circles had been drawn around them. They looked bruised and sore. Gritting his teeth together his head drew nearer to the mirror to focus. His hand struggled to find his mouth as he slowly tried to scrape away the brown stains that had formed on his teeth. Shaun placed one hand on the wall trying to steady himself. He struggled to maintain his balance. His gammy finger nails now scratched at his teeth hoping he could hide the fact that he was beyond help. Shaun used to have such a lovely smile and people had always commented on how nice it was. Those days were long gone now. The pearly white teeth he’d once had were now stumps rotted away by the heroin he’d tooted over the years. Struggling to hold himself up from the sink, he swayed. Shaun’s frame was like that of an old man’s; it hunched over with the years of shame he carried.

  Life in Manchester had been hard but then it was like that for lots of other people who lived on council estates. They all lived on the breadline. Shaun was one of three children and he’d always demanded much more love and attention than anyone seemed prepared to give him. Many a night he lay in his bed and wanted to end his life but the call for smack had always deterred him.

  Heroin had been the new drug on the streets when Shaun was only thirteen. He lived on a notorious council estate in Harpurhey. Everyone welcomed the new drug with open veins not realising what they were letting themselves in for. They were just kids chasing a buzz but they were soon to find out the consequences of their actions.

  Shaun was now thirty-nine and looked haggard. He’d been considered a bit of heartthrob in his youth but those days ended when he’d sold his life to drugs so many years ago. Everyone who’d ever loved him had now deserted him. He was alone. All that was left was the shell of a man addicted to smack.

  Shaun left the bathroom and rejoined his mates in the front room. They weren’t his mates really, except Ged who he’d known for years. They were just people who also had nothing in life except a demanding drug habit. They clung to each other to feel part of something.

  Shaun looked round the room. His eyes were dancing with the drugs he’d just injected into his veins. The place was a total shit tip. Newspapers were scattered all over the floor and empty beer cans filled the small mahogany table on one side. The place smelt damp and the black fungus growing up the walls told you how unhealthy the flat really was. Shaun’s pupils looked like pinholes. He looked off his head as he struggled to walk. None of the addicts had a pot to piss in and desperation was written all across their vacant faces.

  One junkie marched up and down in the front room. He could be seen wrapping his arms round his shaking body as the call for a fix blasted his brain. They all knew that feeling and sank their heads to their chins knowing there was nothing they could do to help him.

  The flat was more like a squat. An old black settee was pushed across the back wall and a bit of an off-cut of carpet sat in the middle of the floor with someone lying across it staring into space. The old battered stereo in the corner played the only CD they owned and “Every Day Is Like Sunday” by Morrissey played at full blast.

  Shaun opened the door to the veranda and looked out at the world. You could see children playing in the distance and there was the sound of passing traffic. As he stretched his head over the balcony he could see the estate where he grew up. He smiled as he remembered the days gone by.

  The flat was on the fourth floor. They all liked it that way as they knew people couldn’t get to them without them knowing. The flat had a security door and no one was allowed in without their say so. As he stretched his head out over the rail on the balcony he wondered if the drop would be enough to kill him. His face looked troubled. The wind howled past him as if it was teasing him to jump. Shaun’s body was shaking as the thought of dying filtered through him. His mind was racing and he looked white in the face. The gusts of wind picked up and grabbed at his bones as he stood like a statue waiting to die. His hands trembled as he zipped up his grey parka.

  Shaun’s head swivelled back as he looked through the rain splattered windows at his baghead friends sat inside. They couldn’t care less where he was or what he was doing. His hands shook rapidly as he held the wall to climb onto the balcony. Pulling his hood up, he hid the years of regret that covered his face. With one hand still holding onto the wall he gasped for breath as tears streamed down his face.

  Shaun mumbled the words of the song he could hear in the background and nodded his head slowly to the beat as his purple lips trembled. For the last time he turned his head back, looking inside the window for a sign that somebody cared about him. The wind circled his feet as if it was helping him leave the balcony.

  Shaun’s body lay lifeless after it hit the floor. Nobody in the flat noticed he was missing until they heard people shouting outside. As his friends peered over the balcony they could see people gathering around a body on the floor. “What the fuck’s going on?” Ged gasped as he stared down. It wasn’t until he saw his friend’s familiar grey coat that he realised. Ged began shouting out as his hands dragged at his hair. “It’s Shaun. For fuck’s sake it’s Shaun.”

  The addicts ran down the staircase as quickly as they could - the lift being out of order as usual. When they reached the frail, motionless body they could see the onlookers scowling at them as if they were lepers. It was obvious the crowd knew who they were.

  “That’s what taking drugs does to you!” one woman shouted to her teenage son as she held him by the arm. They boy shrugged removing her grip.

  “Yeah mam I know. Will you shut the fuck up?” The youth dipped his head and looked embarrassed at his mother’s words.

  The ambulance had been phoned and the person who’d reported it was sat in shock on a nearby wall. The woman looked about fifty and all you could see was her shaking her head as she gripped the mobile phone in her hands. Someone had placed a blanket around her but she was still shaking like a leaf.

  Shaun lay with his hood still pulled over his face. His leg looked deformed and people screamed when they saw it for the first time. Ged quickly knelt by his side and tried to see if he was still alive. Wiping the trickle of blood from Shaun’s mouth he spoke in a low voice.

  “It’s me, Ged. Can you hear me mate? For fuck’s sake what have you done this for?” His skinny arms removed Shaun’s hood from his face as he tried to find some life in the gaunt face that stared blankly at him. People around him whispered between themselves. You could hear every word they were saying. “Look at his arms the dirty bastard,” one man moaned. Ged quickly pulled his sleeves down covering the track marks. His face looked white with shock. The sound of sirens could be heard in the distance and everyone turned their heads to watch it draw nearer.

  “Come on mate, hang on in there. The ambulance is here now. Don’t fucking give up ya muppet.” Ged stayed at Shaun’s side until the medics were with him. He managed to stand up and he hung his head in shame as he spoke to the medical team.

  “Please help him mate. He’s a good lad. He’s just been a bit down lately.” The man looked at him and quickly assessed the body that lay in front of him. He moved Ged out of the way and told everyone to step back so he could do his job. He now shouted to his colleague to bring him some different equipment from the vehicle. Ged was stood at a grass verge vomiting. The sound of retching could be heard. The spectators watched him spewing his ring up and shook their heads in disgust.

  The paramedic took hold of Shaun’s cold hand. It looked blue. He felt his pulse while anxiously looking at his watch. He could see something being held in Shaun’s grip and slowly unfolded his fingers to reveal a small pebble. He quickly slid it into Shaun’s pocket. The other medic joined him
now and they made a decision to move his body onto a stretcher. “I don’t think he’s going to make it,” the ambulance man whispered to a colleague. They both sighed as they transferred Shaun onto an orange stretcher. The man was a human being and they didn’t want to lose him, no matter who he was. Their faces looked strained as they carried him to the ambulance.

  Shaun’s friends huddled together as they could hear the comments from the local people in the crowd. A middle aged man spoke in a loud voice and looked directly at the junkies. He wasn’t bothered who heard him.

  “Well, that’s one less smackhead on the streets. They should all fucking jump from there if you ask me. They’re nothing but a load of dirty scumbags. Thieving bastards, the lot of ‘em.” His voice was sarcastic as he focused on Ged and his friends. The comments were getting louder and the residents were making it clear that they didn’t care if they heard them or not. As Shaun’s lifeless body was put inside the ambulance his friends headed back to the flat like rats returning to a sinking ship.

  Ged was asked if he wanted to go with his friend to the hospital but he quickly declined. He told them he would go and tell Shaun’s mother what had happened and made excuses why he couldn’t go. Some friend he was!

  The sirens were turned on and Shaun was taken to North Manchester Hospital. Ged returned to the flat and sat with his head in his hands. As if his tears were locked away he screwed his face up and shook his head. His lips trembled as one of the girls tried to comfort him.

  “Why the fuck did he jump? He could have spoken to us about how he was feeling.” He held his hands up in the air with a distressed face. “I mean we’ve all been depressed at one time or another haven’t we?” The others agreed, but if they were true to themselves, they knew they didn’t care about anything or anyone as long as they had drugs. Ged sighed and walked to the balcony. He stood back from the rail as he peered over it. A few of the others came outside with him. Ged gripped the wall as if he was going to faint. It all seemed too much for him.