It seemed every day we took one step forward and two steps back. I couldn’t keep up with him. With his moods.
“You look adorable,” he said softly.
“Adorable?” I repeated.
“Well, Judge,” Hope said playfully as she plopped up next to him. “You already said you don’t text. I’m wondering your thoughts on walking me back to the hotel.”
Jenner sloshed around what little liquid was left his in tumbler and said something quietly to just her. I couldn’t make it out, but she smiled at me. An uneasy feeling rooted in the pit of my stomach.
They both stood. No way. He wasn’t going with her. He wouldn’t do that. But then he looked at me and shook his head. Shook his head? What did that mean? My heart accelerated. Kurt came back to the table and whispered in my ear.
“Sorry about that.”
I acknowledged his words with a nod, not making it a big deal. I couldn’t drag my eyes away from Jenner. I was completely over stimulated not knowing which way to turn or who to pay attention to.
Hope leaned into my other ear. “I think if you didn’t work for him, he’d be fucking you tonight.”
I giggled uncomfortably, wondering why she said that. The only person I wanted near my ears was going to walk out with my friend. Bethany tapped my hand.
“I think I may leave too. I’m sorry. We’ve been here longer than you and I’ve had enough.”
“I get it. Totally ok. I’ll walk out with you. I’m exhausted anyway.”
By the time I turned back around, Hope and Jenner were gone. Panicked, I texted him.
Please don’t…
That was all I sent. Bethany and I waited for her tab because Kurt had bought every drink of mine. As she got her credit card out, I turned to him.
“I’m sorry about that. I think I was so stunned that I didn’t think to pick the napkin up. I really am sorry.”
He shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. I shouldn’t have written that anyway. I stand by it, but I shouldn’t have written it.” His shy smile made me feel better.
“I just don’t want to mix any sort of business with pleasure, ok?”
Sliding his sport coat on, he wrapped an arm around me. “If I hadn’t drank so much, I never would have had the courage to write it. I agree with what you’re saying.”
We stepped out the door to find Jenner and Hope sitting on a bench just outside the pub. They both glanced at us, Kurt’s arm still over my shoulders. Jenner’s eyebrows rose, but I didn’t acknowledge him. Advaith and Matt walked ahead of Bethany, Kurt and me. And as we got closer to the hotel, I glanced back to see if either Hope or Jenner had followed. They hadn’t.
Inside the hotel, I hugged Kurt.
“If I don’t see you at the conference tomorrow, I’ll see you in court,” I laughed, feeling the full effect of the martinis in my head. “Bye guys,” I said to Advaith and Matt.
Bethany and I rode the elevator up. She got off on the seventh floor. I rode up to the sixteenth, staring at the blank screen beneath the text I’d sent to him. He hadn’t responded. I prayed for bubbles to appear, but nothing. I closed my eyes until the elevator dinged.
After undressing in my room, I slid Jenner’s t-shirt from last night over my head. The fabric had absorbed his masculine, torturous smell. I allowed a few tears to fall. For just a second, I would give into my sorrow. Tears for Pops and tears for Jenner. I didn’t cry often, but sometimes a good release was necessary. My phone dinged, shaking me out of my melancholy, and I rushed to read the text. Dr. Shu. Not the man I wanted to hear from.
Lucy. Your grandfather is doing better. I would like to speak with you when you have time tomorrow. Let me know what works for you.
I texted back right away.
I can call you now. Is something wrong?
Don’t be silly. I’d have called you if something were wrong. I’d like to converse about his current care and other options.
Something inside of me cracked as the damn burst. Couldn’t I catch a break? The moment I’d dreaded for the past couple of years was crashing in on me. A full care facility in the city. I liked the place closer to the farm. Our roles had reversed—I had been the caretaker of my caretaker. And with my career and with Hank’s age, I always knew we were on borrowed time. I just thought it would be longer. I lay on the bed trying to decide what to text back as tears spilled onto the cotton sheets.
The knock at the door startled me. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts about Pops that for a few minutes, I’d actually forgotten about Jenner. I peeked out the peephole. Jenner rested against the doorframe with his head down. For a short second, I contemplated not opening the door. I didn’t need this right now. But before I could change my mind, the door was open.
“You’re crying.”
It wasn’t a question, more of a statement. I tried to close the door, but he stopped it with his foot.
“Tell me,” he instructed. “Why are you crying?”
Sometimes, he could be completely emotionless. I looked at the clock, trying to determine if it was feasible for him to have bedded Hope.
“Were you with her?”
“Is that why you’re upset? Because of Hope?” His voice rose in shock.
Defeated and well aware that he hadn’t answered my question, I handed him my phone, showing him the conversation with Dr. Shu. At the same time, his phone rang, and he turned away to answer it. My thoughts flashed back to that night not so long ago when we had once before been interrupted by his phone.
“What’s up?” he answered.
“Yes. I’m with her now.” He paused as his drunken eyes bore into me. “Thank you.”
“Are the tears because of your grandfather?”
I tossed my phone onto the bed. “Who was that?”
“Dr. Shu. He thought you might be upset.”
Jenner seemed to cover all his bases well. “I know that we aren’t supposed to…I mean that it’s unethical and well, you can with Hope, and I didn’t know if…”
All I wanted to hear was that he wanted me, but something inside of me knew those words wouldn’t come. His career meant more to him. And, that was ok. Mine did too. I think. Why would he risk everything for a woman he barely knew? His father was a freaking Supreme Court Justice…the most powerful judge in the United States. My father was in prison.
I never really finished my statement. His alcohol-induced gaze took in all of me from head to toe. And as if dismissing a thought, he shook his head and took two deliberate steps toward me. His hands raked over my skin, through my hair until his fingers wrapped around my neck and pulled me into him. I kept my eyes open until our lips met.
Chapter 13
OBJECTION
JENNER
Christ, the taste of her mouth. I wondered if she remembered the taste of mine like I remembered hers. I’d never wanted a woman as much as I wanted Lucy in that second. When she walked into the bar earlier wearing those skimpy Nike shorts and that Cubs t-shirt, she looked absolutely gorgeous. But seeing her in my t-shirt was literally my undoing.
As my tongue slid into the warmth of her delicious mouth, her tongue softly touched mine, and then retreated. No. More. More. I needed more. Alcohol swam through my veins, leading to a harsher kiss. I pressed my lips insistently to hers, and it wasn’t until she whimpered that my eyes shot open panicked that I’d hurt her. Her eyelids, still red from crying, were all I saw before I softened the kiss once again. With my finger, I lifted her chin so our mouths could meld more perfectly together. And, they did, effortlessly.
When her body relaxed into mine, I smiled, trying not to end the kiss. I had no idea what tomorrow would hold, but I was going to make the most of tonight and this precious time with Lucy.
“I don’t know where to go from here, Jenner,” she whispered, our lips still touching.
“You don’t have to know. I’ve got you.”
My eyes never ventured from hers as I unfastened my belt, unbuttoned my slacks and allowed them to drop to
the floor. She methodically undid each button on my shirt, exposing another one of my white t-shirts. Tugging behind my neck, I pulled the shirt off. She could have this one too.
Her touch literally took my breath as her fingertips outlined my pecs dragging down and across the length of my abs.
“Jenner.” Her voice was barely audible. “I need you.”
Her pleading tone tugged at my heart. There was no way in hell I was going to deny her. Not tonight. With both hands, I grabbed the hem of the white shirt she wore, and her arms shot upward, urging me on. She was braless, and her breasts were beautiful. My mind played back our first night together, and she seemed more beautiful in this moment.
Her warm hand cupped the bulge in my boxer briefs as her forehead rested on my chest. I kissed the top of her hair, enjoying her gentle touch. Then I caressed her breasts smiling at her slight gasp.
“Lay down,” I directed softly, remembering her words from months ago of wanting to be told what to do. I wanted to be everything she wanted.
Once her calves hit the mattress, she sat on the bed and scooted back, her typically bright eyes going dark—heavy with desire.
“Don’t move,” I whispered, leaning in and snagging her panties with my fingertips, then slowly inching them down her legs. Once her panties were off, she closed her legs, resting her knees together.
I shook my head. “No way. Over ruled, counselor,” I said in a low voice, pulling her ankle toward me and exposing her wetness.
I hadn’t gone down on a woman in several years. To me, that was more intimate than sex. Fucking someone was easy and protected. Going down on someone was vulnerable and raw.
With her ankle in my hand, I dropped kisses between her foot and her knee, then continued up her luscious thigh as her eyes followed the fiery path my lips scorched. When I dropped a final kiss on her protruding pelvic bone, I wondered for a second when she last ate. I knew her mind was in a hundred different places. But for tonight, I would have her full attention.
As my lips inched closer to her wetness, her legs shook in anticipation. The moment I tasted her for the first time, her entire body became putty in my hands.
It took hardly any time for her hips to arch to me, her fists to tangle into my hair and her body to release itself due to my touch. The slight whimpers that echoed up her throat slayed me. Jesus. As hard as I fought it, my heart fell into her possession.
Resting my body on top of hers, I glanced down at her hooded eyes, which gazed up at me longingly.
“Jenner,” she whispered.
A swallow got wedged in my throat at her silent plea. I didn’t know what she wanted, but I knew that whatever it was…it was hers. As I slowly slid my unprotected cock inside of her, I realized my heart was as unguarded and vulnerable as my cock, and I wasn’t sure which was worse. But I sure as hell didn’t stop.
***
The dawn light crept through the cracked opening of the curtains.
Lucy’s breaths were slow, steady, and deep. There was a slight part to her pouty lips. I could still taste her on mine. It never felt more right than waking up with her next to me. With the utmost stillness, I snuck from beneath the covers—the cold air caused a shiver.
After I got dressed, I headed down to the concierge lounge to grab her coffee. The smell of sweet baked goods blasted me as I entered. Man, I was starving. Trying to juggle two cups of coffee and a couple of sweet rolls, I carefully turned around and came face to face with Daryanne Watkins.
“Judge,” she spat out hatefully.
“Ms. Watkins.” I attempted to step around her, but she moved the same direction I did blocking me.
“Don’t Ms. Watkins me, Jenner,” she hissed. “Your dick has been inside me. I’d have more respect for you if you simply said, fuck off.”
I nodded, refusing eye contact. I’d lived with her harmless threats for two years. “Ok, Daryanne, fuck off.”
Within a split second, her angry face was within inches of mine. Eye contact at this point was unavoidable. “Don’t you forget, I could destroy you.”
“No you can’t, Daryanne. I fucked you before you became the first assistant to the DA.”
“Oh please. We both know that if that sordid little detail got out, your daddy would be sooo disappointed and decisions regarding your cases would be scrutinized.” Her well-manicured eyebrows shot up.
“I still have the notarized letter—proof that I ended our relationship the moment you were hired. Get over it. It’s been two years.” This time, I stepped past her.
“Speaking of two, Judge Weber. You’re in a hotel, it’s 6:45 in the morning and you are scooping up two coffees and two cinnamon rolls. What’s her name?”
My irate eyes slammed into her, hoping to mask the strained expression I felt. I was fully aware of our audience of a select few. “Like I already said, fuck off, Daryanne.”
Chapter 14
APPEALED
LUCY
Jenner and I hadn’t talked much since I woke up to a hot cup of coffee and a cinnamon roll. His note was simple. Thank you. I enjoy every moment with you. J
I assumed we were back to not talking. Honestly, I couldn’t keep up anymore.
While the conference had been great, work hadn’t stopped while I was gone, so it had piled up on my desk. Cases that needed filed, cases that needed revoked, cases that needed reviewed. Motions. Briefs. More often than not, I spent my days overwhelmed. Every single child mattered to me. I remembered my Mimi telling me once that if all the fish in the ocean washed ashore, I should do everything I could to get them back into the water but know that there was no way to save them all. I knew that. But I was damn sure going to try.
A week had passed since our night at the hotel. I hadn’t seen Jenner at work, and he hadn’t texted. In theory, neither had I. But, as far as I was concerned, the ball was in his court. Walking up the three flights of stairs to my apartment was the extent of exercise I was getting these days. The moment I stepped into the hallway, the sweet smell of Midge’s handiwork was in the air, bringing with it a smile that spread from cheek to cheek.
The undeniable smell of vanilla wafted up my nose as I slid the key into the deadbolt. Midge was the only person who had a key to my apartment. Tears nipped at my eyes when I spotted the pot simmering on the stove and what looked like glazed vanilla scones on a platter. God, I love that woman.
The night came and went without a word from Jenner…again. I tried to brace myself for the growing hurt in my chest. I wasn’t typically a skeptic—but with regards to Jenner—I was either a cynic or a realist. Maybe both. It was what it was. I’d be forever indebted to him for his help with Pops.
The following morning at work, one of the legal interns met me with paperwork from Chicago Police Department. After reading over the police report about a six year old girl who’d been sexually abused from her nineteen-year-old stepbrother, I darted straight to my office to start the Ex Parte paperwork. This wasn’t on my list of things to do—but took priority over everything. That was the thing about child in need of care work…certain cases took precedence.
As I entered the information into the system, my personal phone buzzed. I glanced at the lit screen, glanced back at my computer, then quickly back to the phone. Jenner!
My heart revved as I resisted the impulse to scream in elation. I unlocked my phone and touched the screen to open the text. My smile quickly faded.
Stop what you’re doing and come to my office.
Cautiously, I glanced around. No one saw me looking at my phone. There was no reason not to get up and go, yet I stayed glued to my seat. Frozen. His text gave no hint. Was it good? Was it bad? There was no way in hell he’d do a single sexual thing in that entire building…so office sex wasn’t optional.
Surely this wasn’t about Pops. My desk phone rang and the caller ID read Judge Weber. Suddenly, I felt sick. With shaky hands, I picked up the receiver. The courthouse was across the street.
“What’s wrong?” I whispere
d.
“I need you to stand up, leave your office and come straight to mine. Am I clear?”
“Judge, please. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Lucy. Do as I said, ok?”
He said Lucy. Not Ms. Edwards. This was personal. I didn’t wait for another word. I hung up the phone, slid on my jacket, grabbed a random folder off my desk and casually left my office. At the elevator, I poked the button, trying to maintain composure but on the inside, I was coming apart. This was serious. Someone knew something. We were in trouble. That had to be it.
Once inside the courthouse, I rode another elevator to his floor. The elevator moved slower than I’d ever recalled, and as I stepped off, Deb, the guardian ad litem was there wiping her tears.
“You ok?” I honestly didn’t want to get distracted, but I couldn’t not ask.
She shook her head. “Yes. It just makes me sad. I wish I would have listened to you.”
“Listened to me? What are you talking about it?”
“You don’t know?”
I shrugged.
“Paige Engle was killed.”
Engle. Engle. Engle. My mind ran through my cases, then recognition settled in. My knees buckled, and thankfully, the wall was close. She’d killed her. Her mother had killed her.
“Ms. Edwards?” Jenner’s voice jarred me. Both Deb and I watched him walk slowly in our direction. His strained expression focused on me. The composure I fought to maintain just minutes before faded as my face crumbled.
“How?” I whispered.
“I’ve got this, Ms. Scheels,” Jenner said coldly.
Deb hugged me. “I’m sorry, Lucy.”
Over her shoulder and through blurred eyes, I could only focus on Jenner. I didn’t want to cry in front of him. My splotchy face and red nose were inevitable, however. His disheveled appearance surprised me. It looked as if he had run his hands through his hair a hundred times. His tie was loose.
Your Honor Page 10
