She was a woman with character and determination, and they were planning to deceive her, Joanne realised with clarity as Daniel unlocked the door to her flat and switched on the light in the small entrance hall.
How could she marry him now when her conscience forbade it? ‘Dr. Grant, I—’
‘Daniel.’
‘Daniel,’ she conceded, gesturing helplessly with her
hands. ‘I feel dreadful when I think of how we intend to deceive your mother. It seemed logical in theory, but now that I’ve met her, I—I can’t go through with it. I can’t marry you! The whole idea was ridiculous, and I—’
‘It’s too late to pull out now,’ he cut in icily.
‘You could explain,’ she offered lamely.
‘You saw her this evening, Joanne,’ he said abruptly. ‘You witnessed her happiness. Could you tell her now that it was all just a set-up?’
‘No, I couldn’t,’ Joanne whispered, lowering her glance.
‘And what about your brother?’ Daniel pointed out ruthlessly. ‘Where would you get the money to see him through university?’
‘I—I don’t know, I—’
‘Joanne!’ His hands gripped her shoulders, making her aware of their strength, and the faint but tantalising smell of his after-shave lotion. ‘Don’t let me down.’
‘I’m sorry. It’s nerves, I suppose,’ she sighed, realising only too well that the happiness of two people depended on their marriage.
‘You’ll feel better about it in the morning,’ Daniel assured her. ‘Goodnight.’
Joanne’s resignation was placed into Matron’s hands early the following morning, and by that afternoon it seemed that the entire staff of the General Hospital knew of Joanne’s engagement to Daniel Grant. The news had exploded along the hospital grapevine with such speed that Joanne had been rendered speechless when she found herself confronted by a few of her friends.
‘We had no idea there was a romance blooming right under our noses,’ they said. ‘We never had a clue, but how does it feel, knowing you’re envied by almost every eligible girl in this hospital?’
Joanne muttered something witty which sent them laughingly on their way, but, deep down inside, she felt sick. By handing in her resignation, she had publicly declared the fact that she was to marry Daniel Grant. To withdraw now would cause endless humiliation, and Daniel’s expression, when he strode into her office during the course of the afternoon, told her that he was well aware of the fact that she had bound herself securely by her own actions.
‘Seven-thirty this evening?’ he confirmed their appointment brusquely, his glance cool and impersonal.
Joanne had risen to her feet, an automatic reaction when in the presence of a doctor or a surgeon, but Daniel gestured almost impatiently that she should be seated.
‘It’s all arranged,’ she said, keeping her voice level. ‘Bruce will arrive at seven, and a half hour is long enough to break the news to him. ’
‘Quite long enough,’ Daniel agreed, his keen glance flicking her pale cheeks. ‘If you want to look convincing, then I suggest you put some colour into your cheeks before he arrives this evening. I shan’t be there on this occasion to kiss you into looking the part.’
With that parting shot he departed as abruptly as he had arrived, leaving Joanne with her cheeks flaming with embarrassment and anger, but she sensed a hidden warning in his remark. Bruce had to be left in no doubt that the marriage was being planned for the usual reasons.
Joanne had barely cleared away her supper dishes when Bruce arrived that evening. Dressed casually in denims and check shirt, he looked young and vital as he sprawled in a chair and waited for her to join him.
‘You have news for me,’ he said as she hesitated. ‘I can see it written all over your face.’
‘Yes, I have news for you,’ Joanne admitted, keeping her left hand hidden in the pocket of her skirt.
‘Don’t tell me Aunt Irene has changed her mind! ’ ‘No, she hasn’t,’ Joanne laughed nervously, ‘but I’ve managed to obtain the money elsewhere. ’
‘From whom?’ Bruce asked, his face eager as he swung his leg off the arm of the chair and sat up with interest.
‘From my—my fiance.’
‘From your what?’ Bruce exclaimed in surprise, his eyes mirroring disbelief.
‘From my fiance,’ Joanne repeated with a calmness she was far from experiencing. ‘That’s the other item of news I have for you. I’m going to be married in three weeks’ time. ’
‘I don’t believe you! ’
‘It’s the truth,’ she assured him, extending her left hand towards him and allowing him to see her engagement ring. ‘I handed in my resignation at the hospital this morning. ’
Bruce fumbled in his shirt pocket for his packet of cigarettes, and lit one. ‘I never even knew you had anyone special. ’
‘I don’t always tell you everything about myself,’ she fenced.
‘Do I know him?’
‘No, but you’re going to meet him in a little while,’ Joanne explained. ‘He’s Dr. Daniel Grant, and he’s a surgeon at the General Hospital. ’
‘How long have you known him?’
‘I’ve known him for almost two years.’
‘Is that how long you’ve been—’
‘No, no,’ Joanne interrupted swiftly. ‘It’s only just recently that we’ve been ... well, discussing marriage.’ Only very recently, Joanne could have added. The day before yesterday, to be exact.
Bruce observed her closely, his eyes narrowed against the haze of cigarette smoke. ‘Jo, you haven’t gone and done something foolish, have you? You’re not marrying this man
because of the money, perhaps?’
Joanne’s heartbeats quickened nervously. ‘Don’t be silly!’
‘You don’t look like someone who’s fallen madly in love,’ Bruce persisted shrewdly, and Joanne wished frantically that Daniel would arrive to support her claims.
‘What do you know about how people look when they’ve fallen in love?’ she asked, making a lighthearted attempt at teasing.
‘I’ve seen some chicks at ’varsity flashing their diamond rings about after becoming engaged, and their faces absolutely glowed with excitement and happiness. ’
‘I’m not a chick at ’varsity,’ Joanne said sternly. ‘I’m twenty-four, and at my age a woman doesn’t go around flashing her ring to all and sundry and making a public, exhibition of her happiness. ’
‘Maybe not,’ he argued, ‘but it’s unlikely that they’d sit there looking as cool and calmly composed as you are. ’ ‘Bruce,’ she sighed helplessly, ‘aren’t you going to congratulate me and wish me happiness?’
‘Jo ... this is for real? You’re not just marrying this chap because of the loan?’
‘No, Bruce, I’m not just marrying him because of the loan.’ This, at least, was the truth, for she was also marrying Daniel for his mother’s sake. ‘And it isn’t a loan, by the way; it’s a gift.’
Bruce laughed cynically. ‘If it’s a gift, then it sounds very much like the lobola paid by a Zulu bridegroom to his bride’s people, only this lobola is being paid in cash, not cattle.’
‘Don’t be facetious,’ she said sharply as the doorbell rang. ‘That will be Daniel. ’
Joanne had never been more relieved to see Daniel than when she opened the door and stood aside for him to enter. Tall, and immensely attractive in a black blazer
and grey slacks, he walked in, and her heart skipped a beat as he leaned forward and kissed her lightly on the cheek.
‘Hello, darling. I’m sorry I’m late.’
‘It doesn’t matter,’ she assured him swiftly, her cheeks stained a delicate pink as she turned and led the way into her small lounge. ‘Daniel, I would like you to meet my brother. Bruce, this is Dr. Daniel Grant. ’
Bruce rose to his feet, but it was Daniel who took the initiative and stepped forward with his hand outstretched. ‘How do you do, Bruce. Joanne has told me quite a lot about you.�
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‘Has she?’ Bruce asked with a hint of sarcasm as they shook hands. ‘Funny, she never told me anything about you until this evening. ’
‘Perhaps it’s because I’ve rather swept her off her feet by my sudden proposal,’ Daniel replied smoothly, turning to Joanne and placing an arm about her shoulders. ‘Isn’t that so, darling?’
Angry and embarrassed by Bruce’s rudeness, she forced a smile to her lips as she glanced up at the man beside her and saw the warning glint in his eyes. ‘I haven’t yet got used to the idea myself,’ she replied.
Bruce glanced from one to the other and made an obvious effort to pull himself together. ‘Well, now that I have met you, Dr. Grant, may I offer my belated congratulations to you both?’
‘Thank you, Bruce,’ said Daniel, lowering his arm down to Joanne’s waist and drawing her firmly against his side. ‘And make it Daniel, as we’re soon going to be brothers-in-law. ’
‘About the loan—’ Bruce began once they were seated.
‘I’m not offering you a loan, Bruce,’ Daniel corrected, seating himself on the arm of Joanne’s chair.
‘But I can’t accept it on any other terms,’ Bruce insisted. Joanne leaned forward urgently. ‘Bruce—’
‘Just a minute, Joanne.’ Daniel’s hand came down on her shoulder and drew her back in her seat. ‘If it would make you feel better, then consider it a loan, but I shan’t press you for repayment. Do you accept?’
Bruce pushed a hand through his fair hair. ‘Under those circumstances, yes.’
‘Good,’ Daniel said abruptly. ‘I’ve already made arrangements for an amount to be paid into your account at the bank twice yearly. If you would just pay them a visit some time tomorrow then you can let me know whether the amount is satisfactory. ’
Bruce’s astonished glance met Joanne’s briefly. ‘Thank you very much. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your generosity.’
Daniel’s hand slid from her shoulder with a natural ease until his fingers moved carelessly against her neck, creating sensations that made her tremble inwardly.
‘Shall I make us something to drink?’ she asked finally, desperate now to be free of his touch. ‘Coffee?’
‘Thank you, Joanne.’
His hand was removed and she escaped to her small kitchen with a heart that was behaving decidedly oddly as she switched on the kettle and set out the cups.
She heard the murmur of their voices, and saw Daniel lean forward in his chair as he spoke earnestly to Bruce, but Bruce remained sprawled in his chair, a look of disbelief on his thin, boyish face. Joanne could not blame him entirely for remaining suspicious. They had always been close, most especially these past five years, hiding nothing from one another, and sharing each other’s hopes and dreams.
She sighed heavily as she poured the coffee, almost spilling some into a saucer as a deep voice directly behind her said: ‘Need any help?’
She glanced nervously over her shoulder as she returned the percolator to the stove. ‘No, thanks. I was just about to bring the tray through. ’
Daniel’s arms came round her from the back, preventing her from lifting the tray and turning her to face him at the same time. Alarmed by his nearness, she tensed inwardly, aware of his warm hands circling her waist, and the irregular beat of her heart.
‘I’m afraid that Bruce isn’t quite convinced,’ he said in a lowered voice. ‘He suspects our marriage has something to do with paying his university fees.’
Joanne moistened her dry lips with the tip of her tongue. ‘What are we going to do?’
‘I’m not too sure,’ said Daniel, his eyes narrowed with thought. ‘Can he see us from your lounge?’
She glanced swiftly in that direction. ‘Yes, and he’s looking this way.’
‘Hm ... I think a display of affection might convince him.’
Her breath locked in her throat as he drew her into a close embrace. ‘Daniel—’
‘Put your arms around my neck,’ he interrupted with a whispered command, his lips against her ear, his lean cheek hard and warm against her own.
‘But I—’
‘Do as I say, Joanne, or do you want your brother to think the worst?’
His lips against her ear sent little shivers down her spine as she relented and did as she was told, but her hand somehow touched the back of his head to find his hair soft and springy beneath her fingertips. This was a situation she never dreamed she would ever find herself in; to be held in Dr. Daniel Grant’s arms, and to experience a strange thrill of pleasure as she felt his lips moving against her throat. The only thing that made sense at that moment was the realisation that she had to put some distance between them, and soon.
‘Our coffee is getting cold,’ she tried again, but her voice sounded strange to her own ears, and the unexpectedness of his lips against her own silenced any further protests she might have made.
‘Be still!’ she warned her heart at its erratic beat, while she forced her lips to remain passive beneath his. ‘He’s kissing you to convince Bruce, and not because he cares. ’
‘Break it up, you two, and bring that coffee!’ Bruce’s voice penetrated through to them, and Daniel released her with a convincing display of reluctance.
‘Sorry, Bruce, we got a little carried away,’ he said over his shoulder as he took the tray from Joanne and gestured with his head that she should go ahead of him.
With her heartbeats settling into a more comfortable rhythm, Joanne joined Bruce in the lounge, but, if nothing else convinced him, then the flush on her cheeks and the pinkness of her throbbing lips seemed to have the desired effect, for his smile mirrored relief as it met hers.
When Bruce finally announced that it was time he left, Joanne rose to accompany him to the door.
‘Jo, you do love him, don’t you?’ he asked in a lowered voice, seeking complete assurance.
‘Need you ask?’ she managed with forced brightness.
Bruce shook his fair head. ‘No, it was unnecessary.
One had only to look at you when you walked in from the kitchen to know how you felt.’ His eyes twinkled with mischief. ‘You looked just like those chicks at ’varsity!’
‘Go before I throw something at you,’ she warned laughingly, and Bruce hurried down the steps with a last wave of his hand, his canvas shoes making no sound on the concrete.
Daniel awaited her in the lounge, an unfathomable expression in his eyes as they followed her to her chair. ‘Is he convinced?’
‘Completely,’ Joanne assured him.
‘Pity,’ he mocked. ‘I was just beginning to look forward to another little session similar to the one we had in the kitchen.’
Joanne’s pulse quickened, and she lowered her lashes to hide the disturbing emotions that rose unbidden to the surface. ‘That isn’t very funny. ’
‘I wasn’t trying to be funny,’ he assured her abruptly. ‘You’re a very attractive woman, Joanne Webster, especially when you leave your hair down the way it is now, and I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t experience some pleasure while holding you in my arms. ’
She pressed her palms against her flaming cheeks. ‘You shouldn’t say things like that.’
‘Why not?’ he demanded, looking lean and muscular, and so completely in command of the situation. ‘Because we’re entering into a platonic marriage it doesn’t mean that we must anaesthetise our natural instincts.’
‘What—what do you mean?’ she asked, frightened by something she could not put a name to.
A derisive smile twisted his lips. ‘To put it bluntly, there’s nothing in our marriage that says I can’t admire your beauty, but you needn’t fear that I shall make passionate love to you. ’
Joanne wished at that moment that the earth would cave in beneath her, and it was with the greatest difficulty that she managed to sustain his glance. ‘You’re repeating yourself, Dr. Grant. You made it abundantly clear last night that you don’t desire me. ’
‘Just as long as we understand
each other, and the real purpose of our marriage,’ he said abruptly, rising to his feet as he spoke, and towering over her. ‘Are you satisfied?’
Joanne nodded silently, unable to force a single word past her lips as she followed him to the door and saw him out. Alone at last in her silent flat, she gathered her scattered
wits about her like a cloak, shutting out everything except that persistent little voice that rose from within to haunt her. She fought against its insinuations as she rinsed the cups and left them on the rack to dry, but later, in the darkness of her room, she was defeated into admitting that she loved Daniel Grant; that for almost two years she had fought against this love, labelling it ‘admiration and respect’, and adhering to it with practised discipline.
Now, her defences rudely smashed, she experienced the pain and futility of her feelings for the man she was to marry. Perhaps, subconsciously, she had always guarded herself against this moment, but, by facing the truth, she had placed herself in a vulnerable position with nothing to shield her from the agonising realisation that, to Daniel Grant, she was nothing but the means with which to satisfy his mother’s obsession.
CHAPTER FOUR
The three weeks prior to their marriage passed with a swiftness that was alarming and, years later, Joanne was to look back on those weeks with a feeling of unreality.
On Serena Grant’s insistence, Joanne moved out of her flat, and spent the remaining week in Daniel’s home with his mother and Sister Johnson acting as chaperon. Released from her duties at the hospital, she had time to sell the odd bits of furniture she possessed, and to put the money to more practical use by buying a trousseau for the week she and Daniel were to spend their mock-honeymoon at his cottage close to Knysna.
Bruce involved himself in the wedding arrangements, realising the importance of the part he would have to play by taking their father’s place, and generally endearing himself to Mrs. Grant with his natural and still boyish charm.
During those last few days a surprising friendship developed between Daniel and Bruce. It puzzled Joanne and made her more than envious when she compared their easygoing relationship to the awkwardness that existed between Daniel and herself when they were alone; something which, whether by design or chance, seldom happened.
Love is Eternal Page 4