by Amy Miles
“She’s fit as a fiddle,” I barely heard Da say. “Her brain suffered no damage from the claw marks. The poison will be fully purged in a day’s time. Why do ya think it attacked her like that?”
I inched closer to hear Eivin’s response.
“Lorcan hunt under the cover of night when they’re harder for us to see. They’ve never attacked a banshee out in the open before,” Eivin said.
Hunt? My brow furrowed. A reaper’s sole duty was to contain the Lorcan the moment they crossed over. How could one get free to hunt? Were there other rogue Lorcan out there we didn’t know about?
“These are not things we should be talkin’ about out here,” Da said. “Come with me, lad.”
Footsteps moved closer to my door and farther from the prying ears of Ma.
“Do you think the rumours are true then?” Eivin asked. His voice was much louder now.
“Ya heard the king’s speech earlier today. Any woman caught carrying a dagger will be tossed in a cell,” Da said in a hushed tone. “The king is trying to use Taryn as an example of what happens when girls get crazy ideas in their heads.”
“He doesn’t know that she was armed. I hid the evidence and Taryn says she canna remember a thing,” Eivin whispered. “This wasn’t an accident. We both know it.”
“Aye. That I do. But I don’t want you jumpin’ to conclusions just to protect her. Or filling my daughter’s head with truths she’s too fragile to handle right now.”
“I’m not jumpin’ at anything. My gut tells me something’s wrong.”
I held my breath as Eivin spoke again. “Before she passed out, Taryn said she thought the king was behind it all.”
“If he was, he’ll see to it that she is ruined long before she remembers enough to tell her side of the story.”
My knees buckled and I reached out to catch myself on the doorframe. Not even my da was confident that I was set up. That hurt, far deeper than I wanted to admit.
“We have to keep her from mucking things up further. To publicly stand against the king is suicide. Let’s hope that her memory doesn’t return.”
“I won’t let that happen.” Eivin’s voice was firm.
I felt sick to my stomach. They were standing outside my room, deciding my fate for me. And no one bothered to ask me what the bloody hell I could live with.
“You brought her home to us. I’m grateful. Your da would be mighty proud of you if he were here.”
There was a moment of silence.
“I should have seen the trap...”
“No, lad.” Da’s voice took on a strict, no-nonsense tone. “You are a hero for getting to her in time for the Healers to work their magic. The rest will sort itself out.”
“I had the proof in my hand and tossed it away like a bloody plonker.” There was a slight shudder in the thin wall when someone leaned against it.
“Taryn was wounded. No one blames you for leaving your assignment cards behind.”
“If she were to get chucked over the Wall someday for it, I’ll have plenty of blame on my shoulders.”
Da’s voice softened. “The past is the past, Eivin. Right now, my little girl needs you.”
There was a pause of silence and I got the distinct feeling that both men had stopped to stare at my locked door. I backed away.
“I don’t know what to say to her to help.” Eivin sighed.
“She needs a friend, lad. Be that for her.”
“Do ya think the Lorcan will come for her?” my cousin asked.
I clenched my fists against my bandaged thigh. I should have known this nightmare was only beginning. I wasn’t safe in my own home.
“It’s not the Lorcan we need to be worryin’ about. She canna know the truth about why she’s being targeted.”
“Aye,” Eivin said. “That would only fuel her hate.”
A ripple of unease worked its way through my stomach. They knew I was right all along. Not only did they know, they lied to me.
Anger simmer in my belly as I backed away from the door. My da, the bravest man I’d ever known, advised caution and restraint when action was needed. He knew what was at stake and yet he did nothing.
I couldn’t imagine that Eivin would go along with this. He was a warrior, just like me. But when I heard Eivin’s agreement I knew I was alone in my fight against the king.
“Try and talk to her,” Da said. “Be the voice of reason to guide her down the right path.”
The right path be damned. The only path for me was the one no one wanted me on.
CHAPTER FIVE
TARYN
I COUNTED MY FATHER’S footsteps as he withdrew and waited for my cousin’s knock. When he hesitated outside my door, I chose to speak first.
“I know you’re there.”
“I haven’t even knocked yet.”
“You didn’t have to. You tromp around here like a giant in high heels. Only the deaf would’ve missed ya standing there.”
His laugh was small and painfully unnatural. The door creaked when he leaned against it. When I heard him trailing his finger around the door latch, I closed my eyes, feeling the sting of his betrayal.
“Everyone is worried about ya.”
“Tell ’em I’m fine.”
“Are ya?”
I knew I wasn’t, especially not after hearing their hushed conversation a moment before.
“I will be.”
“Come on. Let me in, Ryn.”
The sadness in his tone pulled at me, as did the nickname he gave me after he turned eight. He always said Taryn was too formal. I liked Ryn better anyway.
Eivin and I had been inseparable since childhood. Closer than my best friend, Tris, whose daily presence outside my door had become more annoying than comforting. I knew she meant well, but she didn’t get it, didn’t get me. At least not anymore.
“Fine, but only you can enter.” I flipped the lock and stepped back out of the way.
The door groaned when it opened and shut behind him. The drone of voices beyond the threshold faded. He looked around the room, peering into the darkness to find me.
“I’m over here,” I whispered.
He turned and found me sitting once more in the window. Staring out at the city I so desperately loved and yet longed to be free of.
I could tell by the droop of his shoulders when he approached that I looked worse than I thought. After that first night Da removed my mirror from my room. That was when I knew I looked repulsive.
“The Healers did what they could.” I shrugged.
“You look a hell of a lot better than when I last saw ya.” He came to stand behind me. “The swelling is already going down.”
The light of the moon cast the black scarred ridges of my face in shadow when I turned to look at him. I wasn’t ashamed of my wounds, not like Ma was. They were a part of me now.
He grasped my chin and turned my face this way and that in the moonlight. Instead of horror or recoil, I saw guilt in his gaze.
“It wasn’t your fault.” I gently pushed his hand away. “You took down the Lorcan for me. I can live with a couple of scars.”
Eivin frowned. “I knew you were lyin’ about your memory loss.”
“It’s better this way. Keeps all of my family safe.”
“Safe? People are already slagging you off about what happened and it’s going to get worse. You canna pretend forever.”
I pressed my shoulders back. “It’s not much different than before. No one believed me then. If I start telling the whole of Netherworld about what really happened, I’ll be called a lunatic.”
“You’re marked now, Ryn. That’s no small thing.”
“So are you.” I stared at the scarring on his own arm before leaping down from my seat.
The muscles in my thighs still twinged a bit. I couldn’t complain about the lingering pains considering how extensive the repair had been. At least I could walk again.
Herbs from the River Lands were part of the initial healing.
For a reaper, the scars were a badge of honour. It meant you got close enough to a Lorcan and lived to tell the tale. For a woman to bear the marks was a sign of shame. Come tomorrow, when I stepped foot outside for the first time, I would most likely be a pariah among the other banshees. The girl who was too nosy for her own good finally got her comeuppance.
“This is different, Ryn.”
I waited for him to say it, to expand on what Da had said in the hallway, but instead, he fell silent. My heart dropped.
“I heard what ya said.” I sank down onto the edge of the bed.
The bed dipped when he sat beside me. “What are ya talkin’ about?”
In all the years we’d spent together, Eivin and I had never had to speak aloud to understand each other. I guess that was part of growing up with someone. That bond of kinship was irreplaceable. Eivin was a good man, honourable, loyal to a fault and brave. He was also stubborn and pig-headed, just like me.
Drawing his hand up to my cheek, he didn’t shy away from my scars as he waited for me to speak. With him, I could be weak. With him, I could be myself. There were no masks or watching what I said for fear of offending anyone. I was wholly me.
“Tell me.” He wiped a small tear away that fell from my closed eyes, but I knew he misinterpreted it.
“It wasn’t ya not bein’ there during the attack that let me down, Eivin.” I lifted my eyes to meet his and he flinched when he saw my tears. I never let myself cry. “It was when ya agreed to lie to me for my da about what’s really going on. How could you do that?”
Eivin inhaled and then released his breath before he spoke.
“Some things are best not known. I canna lose you.”
“And ya thought by lying that you wouldn’t?” I whispered.
“I don’t...” He shook his head. “I don’t know what I was thinkin’. You aren’t the easiest person to keep up with, ya know? Every time I turned around you were running into danger. I guess I did what I did because I was scared.”
“You should have trusted me.” I wiped at my nose with the back of my hand. “I’m stronger than my da thinks. I can handle whatever truth you may know.”
“Aye. Maybe you can, but I’m not willing to risk it. I love ya too much.” Lying back on my bed, he patted his chest. “Come here then.”
I hesitated for a moment before I sank down and curled up into his side, as I had done so many times while growing up. I needed him to hold me. To cling to him.
“I never meant to hurt ya, Ryn. I swear it,” he whispered against my hair. “You’re the only decent thing in my life. Finding ya like that in the hospital was brutal. I knew you’d finally pushed the king too far and my heart stopped.”
“I know.” I closed my eyes, feeling the fresh sting of tears building. I was afraid if they fell, I would never stop. “I really thought that was the end.”
Eivin held my close. “I won’t let anything hurt you. I promise.”
And I knew he’d try to keep that promise for as long as he could.
“There’s more that you don’t know.” I kept my voice low as I began to tell Eivin about the mystery reaper. I knew by the look on his face that he was just as in the dark as I was.
“This just proves my point, Ryn. Your da means well and so do I. We’re just trying to protect ya.”
“You canna stop it,” I whispered.
“Aye.” Eivin’s chest rose and fell with a heavy sigh. “I know that as well.”
“If ya know then don’t do what he asked. Please don’t push me away. I survived that attack because of your training. Ya canna stop teaching me now, not when I need it more than ever. Help me,” I pleaded, opening my eyes and lifting my head to look at him. “Don’t let him sway you with his foolish heart.”
“He’s got a right to fear for your safety, Ryn.”
“Aye, but I have to keep goin’. It’s not in me to keep quiet.”
He shifted up onto one elbow and looked down at me. “This is bigger than the both of us. Mark my words. Going against the royals is suicide. You’ll get us both banished before you’re done.”
“What choice do we have? The king lied to us about being safe. This isn’t the first attack and ya know it won’t be the last. You canna turn away now when it could mean the death of our friends? Our family? How could we live with ourselves if we could have stopped it?”
At that, he shifted with discomfort.
“Husbands, brothers, and sons are not returning from the Wall,” I whispered. “They die without honour because their service is to a corrupt king. Think of your da. He deserves to rest in peace as well.”
Eivin’s jaw clenched. He never spoke about losing his da. It was usually a wound I gave a wide berth.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought him up.” I laced my fingers through his and squeezed. “But we remain. What happens to us when the Wall falls?”
“You don’t know that it will.”
“Aye, I do.”
Eivin blinked. “What are you talkin’ about?”
I lifted our hands to press against my scars. “You can feel them, can’t ya? You are marked too. You feel their rage. I’ve seen it in your eyes when they pass. You know they’re getting stronger. They’re changin’.”
He looked away. “You shouldn’t be talkin’ about that.”
“The truth is the only thing we should be talkin’ about.”
He gently pulled his hand away from mine. “It’s too dangerous.”
“Aye. The right thing usually is.”
He turned to look at me. There was a great depth of sadness in his eyes.
“I can’t stand by and watch the people I love die, Eivin,” I pleaded with him. I knew I could go through anything as long as he was by my side. “When that Wall is breached, and it’s only a matter of time, we will be buggered. There aren’t enough reapers to save our realm. And what of the humans? Who will keep them safe when we are wiped out? Chaos will reign.”
“And what would ya have me do? Shout from the rooftops like a nutter that the king canna be trusted? I would lose all I’ve gained in the guard. I’ll lose my credibility.”
I sighed and scooted closer to him. “When everything you love is gone, what good will that be to ya?”
“Blast you, Ryn,” he groaned and carved his hands through his hair. “It changes nothin’. We are two people without power or influence. We canna win this.”
I inched closer until our knees touched, feeling a surge of passion from deep within me.
“It’s not about winning, cousin. People respect you,” I praised. “They will listen to what you say. And with these,” I motioned to my scars. “People will listen to me too.”
Eivin winced. “That’s not funny.”
“I’m not tryin’ to be.” I rubbed my hands along my arms to smooth the gooseflesh risen there. “I need to know the truth, Eivin. The whole truth.”
“And if I tell ya? What will ya do then?”
“What I always do. I’ll warn people of the dangers.”
“Aye.” He hung his head. “I thought you might be sayin’ that.”
For a moment he remained silent. I held my breath, knowing this was his chance to side with me. To be the man I knew him to be, the backbone I’d always loved and relied on. He lifted his head and stared up at the ceiling.
“You were right,” he whispered. “I can feel ’em. Have been for a long time.”
I tucked myself into his side and waited for him to continue.
“The newborns are not what we need to be fearin’.” His eyes looked haunted, his face grim and ashen as he looked down at me. I realised with a start that he was terrified. “There are others, a new breed born at the Wall, more fearsome than any you’ve glimpsed. They work together, they
communicate, and they attack without mercy.”
“How do ya know this?” I whispered.
Eivin looked beyond me. “I just do.”
I placed a hand on his chest. “I need to know more than that.”
He nodded and then lowered his head. “Prince Aed has called for reinforcements.”
I sucked in a breath. “I knew it.”
He shot me a woeful smile. “You were always too smart.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
When he laughed, it sounded almost brittle. As if he might break right there before my eyes. And for the first time, I thought he just might. I’d never seen him look so hopeless.
“It’s also a warning. Last week you were spouting off about the reapers missing from the training grounds. Two days after, you had a Lorcan knocking on your bloody door.” He wraps his arms tightly around me. “You need to think before you get yourself killed.”
“I have no intention of dying.” I offered him a woeful smile. “I just need to be a bit sneakier. That’s all.”
“We canna fight the royals and the council.”
I pushed off his chest. “We can, if we do it together. You and me, just like old times.”
He sighed. “I’m not gonna be changin’ your mind, am I?”
“Nope.” I grinned.
“Aye. I was afraid of that.” The planes of his face grew hard when he set me back from him. “Just tell me one thing. Why are ya so hell-bent on riskin’ your life for people who spit at ya behind your back? They had my da flogged for all to see after they falsely accused him of being a traitor. They sent him over the Wall without giving him a fair trial. These people aren’t worth it.”
I fell still. So that was it. His reason for not wanting to help me wasn’t out of fear. He was bitter about his da and I couldn’t blame him one bit. I didn’t know all the details and I might never know, but Eivin’s pain was as fresh as the day they dragged his da through the town centre in chains.
I placed a hand over his heart. “You are a good man, Eivin. You care when you should not, forgive when I would not, and risk your life every day for this city. I know you’re hurtin’ and that they wronged your da, but we both know there are good people here. They deserve a fightin’ chance.”
