“No,” he said, shaking his head as he held her closer, melding her body into his. “You’re wrong,” he whispered. “You are what I want most in life.”
She smiled, a weak one, and raised a shaking hand to his face. “I love you.”
His eyes stung, as tears mixed with the rain. “What can I do? How do I fix you?”
“Can’t.” She gasped as another pain overtook her and her vision dimmed. “Just hold me.”
“No!” he said, his voice panicked. “No, there must be something. Mairi, open your eyes, damn you. Now—open—”
“It is of no use, Raven.”
Cailleach appeared as a misty vision amidst the rain. Her gaze strayed to Mairi, then to him. “Heal her,” he demanded, “and I will do whatever it is you want.”
“I cannot. My powers are not for her kind. She is mortal. Death is part of her.”
“I won’t lose her,” he cried, burying his face into her neck. She had saved him, not once but twice.
“She was never yours too keep. Surely you understand that.”
“No, I don’t!” he roared. “I don’t understand! Tell me, Cailleach. You know. You’re the one who saddled me with this fucking curse! Tell me why I am unworthy of love!”
She raised her chin, her expression one of defiance. “You are the one who decided it was so. You offered an Adbertos. You sacrificed your happiness for Daegan.”
“So I am never to feel warmth?”
“No.”
“I am never to love or be loved?”
“No. Those things are not meant for you and me.”
He wept then, unashamed to be doing so in front of Cailleach. “I never got to tell her that I loved her,” he whispered as he buried his face in her wet hair.
“Then tell her now, Raven, before she passes beyond the veil. She will not hear you there.”
“Damn you! Can you do nothing?”
“No, I cannot. I can only facilitate her death to make it quicker.”
“Come back to me,” he whispered over and over. “Come back, Mairi, and let me love you. Please,” he begged.
“She is in great pain, my king,” Cailleach said as she knelt beside him. “Allow me to do this kindness, in repayment for her sacrifice. She saved you. And for that, she has proved herself worthy of you.”
He couldn’t let her go, but neither could he bear the thought of Mairi suffering.
“The pain, Raven.”
With a slight nod, he agreed.
“I will send her to the Summerlands, where, if the Gods are willing, they will reunite you with her.”
“Hands off, Cailleach.”
The goddess whirled and her silver robe swirled out around her, covering Mairi’s naked body. “Suriel,” she gasped. She stepped back as he emerged from the shadowed grove, his black wings huge as they unfurled from his back. “You have no power in Annwyn,” she sneered.
“True. But what you have there is a mortal. And that’s my domain.”
Bending on one knee, Suriel brushed aside the hem of Cailleach’s cloak and waved his hand over Mairi’s face, murmuring something in a language Bran had never heard before.
“How did you manage to come here?”
“The same way I did the first time. I opened the door. And you let me in.”
Cailleach looked quickly at Bran. “He lies.”
“I am not here to divulge your secrets, Cailleach. They are safe enough with me.”
Her gaze turned mutinous. “Then why have you returned?”
“Our worlds are changing. A force neither of us can defeat alone is rising. We need each other, Cailleach.”
“I neither need nor want anything from you.”
Suriel circled the goddess, even as he kept his eye on Mairi, whose breathing was slow, much too slow.
She was dying and Suriel and Cailleach were fighting like younglings.
“Would you bring disaster upon your world because of your pride, Cailleach?”
“I do not require a fallen angel to preach to me.”
Suriel reached into his trench and pulled Cailleach’s illuminated manuscript from the pocket. “A good-faith gesture,” he said. “Now it is time to return the favor.”
Cailleach did not retrieve the book that landed at her feet. She did not look at Bran, or Mairi, but kept her gaze on Suriel, her eyes blazing with hatred. The two of them squared off. Cailleach, immune to the rain, radiated her pure white glow. Suriel, with his black feathers and black leather, stood drenched, the rain running down the black like droplets of sinful blood.
“You will allow Mairi to live in this world. You will give your blessing to whatever union they desire. And you will vow to work with me to find the Soul Stealer. The Dark Times, Cailleach, have been brought on by both of our sins.”
“You have no authority here. No right to order me to do anything.”
“You’re right. I have no power. But I have something you need, Cailleach. I know where your amulet is.”
Cailleach’s slender body vibrated with hatred. “Give it to me.”
“Give me your word that you will not interfere with Mairi and Bran.”
She nodded. “Very well, the mortal may choose her fate.”
Suriel focused his attention on Bran. “She’s in your world now. I can do no more for her. She left me when she died for you.”
Bran looked down at Mairi, who was lying in his arms. “I . . . I don’t know how.”
“You’ve always had the power.”
“What do you mean?” he growled at Suriel.
“The first time you touched her, she felt safe. Free. When she heard my voice, she ran to you. When she saw me, she turned to you. It’s you, Raven, who can heal her—because she was always intended to be yours. When Morgan needed a mortal for her spell, someone heard her.”
Bran looked up through his wet hair. “Your God.”
“She was supposed to die at birth, but then I was given new orders. I was told to give her my breath. When I did so, I gave her the ability to be reborn. But she doesn’t belong to me. She never did. She is yours. His gift to you—to bind our worlds in this cause.”
He didn’t know what to say, what to think. To think . . . she had been created for him.
“Time is of the essence, Raven. She is still mortal, and she is dying. If she passes through the veil, there will be no return for her. She will not come back to you. And I cannot go there to get her.”
“I don’t know what to do!”
“You must.”
Touch her. Take the pain away, he thought. He could do this. He needed to have faith in that. Damn it, Rowan had said his lack of faith would kill Mairi. He would believe. He would trust.
Closing his eyes, Bran pressed forward, letting his lips touch her brow, then her cheek. I love you. Don’t leave me, he silently pleaded. He moved lower. She purred and moved closer to him, letting him kiss her and wrap her up in his arms. He felt her energy growing, strengthening, and he worked harder to heal her, drawing her pain away from her body, taking it into his, where it magically dissipated.
His lips found the open wound on Mairi’s chest, where the blade would have gone through his heart if Mairi had not taken his pain. “Come back to me,” he whispered, “and I will make you happy, Mairi. I’ll love you forever.”
Mairi came awake in his arms, looking around in shocked wonder. “It worked. I outsmarted Morgan.”
“You saved me, muirnin,” he said on a sob as he clasped her close.
She looked up at him, smiling. “I did, didn’t I?”
“And she will be able to do it again,” Suriel said quietly. “Over and over. She is the healer in your Sacred Trine. She will protect you and the other eight warriors that you will nominate. The Powers of Nine,” Suriel reminded him. “You are their leader, and she will protect you all.”
“No,” he pleaded. “Do not make her suffer.”
“It is her destiny. Her gift. The power you will use. She has the ability to protect you, t
o take your wounds and steal your pain. Leaving you to fight your enemy unencumbered.”
“I don’t want her to have this power!” Bran roared.
“It is not up to you. He has given her this power. But only you can heal her. You are her Chosen Fate, as she is yours.”
Burying his face in her hair, Bran wept. She was his, and nothing was going to take her from him.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Bran lowered Mairi into the tub. Water continued to trickle from the faucet, a slow drip that was the only sound in the room. She sighed, drawing her knees up to her chest, and sat huddled, her body shivering. With pain? Exhaustion? Fear?
“I haven’t had a bath since I was sixteen. I’ve forgotten what it feels like.”
“Your scars,” he murmured, raking his thumb across her wrist. “You were in a tub when it happened.”
She nodded and trembled once more, drawing her knees tighter to her chest.
“Muirnin? ” he asked, feeling inept and lost. He reached out and smoothed his palm down her naked back. She didn’t flinch, but seemed to relax into his touch. “Does this feel good?” She nodded and her hair fell forward, shielding her face from him. “Lie back and rest.”
He helped her so that she was resting against the tub. Her arms floated beside her and the bubbles came up to her chin, covering her nakedness. His hand was shaking as he slid his palm along her cool cheek. “Would you like a shower instead?”
She smiled and rubbed her cheek against his hand. “I’m okay. This is . . . good. I want to let go of the past. To face the future without fearing what came before it.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked hoarsely. “You should have told me . . .” He choked back the emotion.
“It’s okay,” she whispered.
Damn it, seeing her in pain, feeling her die in his arms, made him feel murderous. Christ, she’d taken it all . . .
Pulling the washcloth from Mairi’s body, he wrung it out and wiped her face with it. She moaned and stirred, causing the bubbles to part, baring the white skin of her breasts. The red welt where the blade had pierced her chest had faded. It was amazing how his mouth had done that, healed the burning pain and given her relief.
“Bran?”
“Hmm?” he murmured, watching the water sluice along her body.
“We have to find Carden.”
“You played a dangerous game, muirnin, making that bargain with Morgan.” He shuddered, thinking of Morgan anywhere near her.
“She double-crossed me, the witch,” Mairi grumbled as she sank lower into the water. “Instead of telling me where to find him, she gave me a riddle to solve.”
“Morgan is a selfish bitch. She’s never been known to fight fair.”
“We have to solve the riddle. Rowan can help—”
“Shh,” he ordered. “Do not make yourself uneasy. There is still time to find my brother—and we will. But tonight is about you—and us. Close your eyes, Mairi, and enjoy the sound of the water around you.”
“Bran,” she said, stirring once more. “That feels really good.”
“Good. You just lie back and let me take care of you.”
She sank a little lower into the water. He saw her shoulders quiver. “More hot water?”
“Please.”
He let the water run, filling the bath nearly to the lip of the tub. “Better?”
“Mmm. I’m so glad that you have tubs in Annwyn. I’m going to need them if you and your friends get yourself into too many scrapes.”
He gave her a soft, lingering kiss, then pulled back, watching her relax in the warm water. “I don’t want you to have this power, muirnin. It’s too dangerous.”
“I’ve had this power since well before I met you. I just didn’t know how to use it. Or maybe it was because I hadn’t met you that I didn’t realize it was a power.” She shrugged. “Anyway, it’s what I came equipped with. I doubt God is giving exchanges, if you know what I mean.”
“Be serious.”
She opened her eyes, leveling him with her dark brown gaze, which was now free of pain. “I am being serious. I’ve never been more so in my life. This . . . power,” she said, wetting her lips. “It gives my life meaning, and I want it. I want to be useful to you—to Annwyn. I want to help find this Soul Stealer and defeat him.”
“By taking on others’ pain and suffering? No, I won’t let that happen.”
Her hand came out of the bubbles and shackled his wrist. “Let it be, Bran, and be happy that we’re going to be together, and that you’re the one who can heal me when the pain comes. Think of it as a game,” she said, with a teasing smile. “We can play doctor.”
“This isn’t a game!” he exploded. “This is your life. You’re not invincible, Mairi. You’re a mortal.”
“I know that.”
“Then why?” he shouted. “Why would you willingly go through this?”
“Because this is what I was born to do. This is my destiny, Bran, not yours.”
The air left his lungs, leaving him feeling deflated. “What if I can’t get to you in time?”
There it was, out in the open, the crux of his fear and the reason he didn’t want her having this power. What if I can’t save you?
“C’mon, you’re a magician. It probably takes you—what?—two seconds to dematerialize.”
“In two seconds you could be dead, and then what?”
“I don’t know—”
“You could be taken from me, that’s what!”
“Then we’ll have to trust that it’s His plan.”
“Fuck that!”
“Bran,” she whispered, trying to soothe him, but he wouldn’t let her. Instead, he tore away from her hold and paced the bathroom floor.
“I won’t lose you. I won’t.”
“I don’t think you’ll have to.”
He wheeled on her. “You nearly died tonight. I couldn’t protect you.”
She stood up from the foam of bubbles, sloshing out of the tub. She stepped out, her legs wobbling as she reached for him.
“Don’t you dare do this!” she begged. “Don’t pull away from me again. All I want is to be with you. And you did save me tonight. And furthermore, I trust you to be around when I need you.”
He gathered her up in his arms and held on tight. His heart was beating like mad and his eyes were beginning to sting—again. Shit, he was becoming a bloody watering pot.
“Can’t you just accept me for what I am?”
Her voice was muffled against his chest. He pulled her back and looked down into her face. “Yes. But I don’t know if I can live with the idea of you in pain.”
“This is all new, Bran—to me, too. I just need to figure out how to control it. Tonight the pain ruled me. I need to find a way to keep it at bay so that I’m not overpowered by it. I will find a way, because this is how I am, this is why I was born. I was born to save you, and I was born to love you. None of that is going to change just because you don’t want it to be that way. This is how He made me.”
“And, damn, he made you perfect, muirnin.”
She jumped into his arms and wrapped her legs around his waist, holding him tight. She felt so right in his arms. Her energy, that addicting essence of hers, poured into him, and he buried his face in her hair. “Together we’ll find a way for you to get through this. I’ll find a way.”
“I trust you, Bran. Now it’s your turn to trust me.”
“I trust you,” he murmured, hugging her tight. “It’s your God I’m questioning.”
“Don’t. Just believe that this is the way it’s supposed to be.”
Bran closed his eyes and rested his chin on top of her head. Her teeth began to chatter and he realized she was still wet from her bath.
“Warm me up,” she ordered, and he carried her to his chamber, where the large stone hearth blazed with light and heat.
He set her on the floor atop a pile of furs and dried her with a soft towel.
“This is very . . . medieval
,” she said with a smile. “I like Annwyn.”
“Our ways are old. We worship the moon, the stars, the trees.”
“Like Druids?”
“Who do you think gave the Druids their religion?”
“The Sidhe?”
“Yes.” He set aside the towel and lay down behind her, warming her back while the fire heated her front.
“I need some clean clothes.”
“’Tis the custom of the queens of Annwyn to go unclothed.”
“Really?”
“They are displayed for their king’s pleasure.”
“You’re making that up!”
“Our ways are ancient. And it is one custom this king is not going to change.”
Bran let his gaze roam liberally along her body. He took his time studying her, watching as the firelight kissed her flesh. His gaze flickered up to the gentle slope of her shoulder, to the curve of her neck. Reaching out, he trailed his fingers along the indentation of her waist and up and over her hip. Gooseflesh sprang to life beneath his fingers and he felt Mairi sway into him. He liked seeing his fingers against her skin, as if he were marking her for his own.
“Muirnin?”
“What does that mean?” she asked sleepily.
“Beloved.”
She sighed and snuggled her bottom into his groin. “I like that.”
He kissed the top of her head, noticing the brilliance of her aura. Pure white. He understood it now. “Do you remember that first night in Velvet Haven?” he asked her. “When I said you were a healer?”
She laughed. “Yes. I guess you were right.”
“I never understood it fully. Your aura is white. It means perfect balance. Now it all makes sense. We balance each other, Mairi. You take my pain, and I heal you.”
“Who would have thought it, that a pair of free tickets to a goth club would change my life?”
Resting his chin on the top of her head, he smiled. “I have never been grateful for my Legacy Curse. But I am now. It brought me to you.”
“Well, just as long as you realize when you need juice, it’s this mortal you’re sexing up.”
He laughed and kissed the top of her head. “You are the only mortal I need.” He kissed her again and brushed his chin against her. “Tomorrow I’m taking you to the reflecting pool. I want to show you where I picked those flowers for you.”
Velvet Haven Page 25
