by Lucy Clark
‘Richard and Marty are like oil and water. They just won’t mix.’
‘Then I guess you need to choose.’
‘You’re right.’ Natalie surveyed the contents of the fridge and grabbed some more leftovers. ‘So, come on, tell me, what happened with John?’ Natalie reheated the contents and sat down to listen to her friend describe her latest dating failure. ‘I don’t know how you do it,’ she said with a sigh.
‘It’s easy.’ Beth shrugged. ‘I have a wall and I don’t let anyone past it. I refuse to get hurt again.’
Natalie frowned, wondering whether she herself had really been hurt in affairs of the heart before. If she broke it off with Richard, how would she feel? She pondered the idea for a moment, then realised she’d probably be disappointed another relationship hadn’t worked but that was about all. If she was honest with herself, what did she and Richard actually have in common, other than the fact they were both doctors? Why was she still with him? Habit? Companionship? Or was Richard still a safe bet?
She found it difficult to get to sleep that night, thoughts of Marty and Richard keeping her awake. Marty had jumped back into her life with a well overdue splash of colour. He knew what made her happy, how to make her laugh, how to listen when she needed to talk. He’d been her best friend and even though she’d been curious about what it would be like to kiss him, they’d never let things go that far, preferring to enjoy what they had. Besides, he’d been the most determined flirt she’d ever met and she hadn’t wanted to join the long line of girls on his discarded pile.
‘Some things don’t change,’ she murmured to her ceiling. She could recall with perfect clarity their time spent in Fiji. She’d been wandering around a market when she’d accidentally bumped into someone. She’d turned around and come face to face with an enormous backpack hanging from a tall man’s shoulders.
‘Sorry,’ she’d mumbled automatically.
The man had turned around at the sound of her voice, not seeming at all put out that he’d been jostled, and there she’d stood, looking up into the blue eyes of Marty Williams. To say she’d been surprised was an understatement and Marty, it seemed, had obviously felt the same.
‘Nat? Natalie Fox? Is that really you?’ Marty put his hand on her shoulder as though to prove to himself it was really her. She felt a tingle of awareness pass through her at his simple touch but put it down to the unexpected but pleasant surprise at seeing him again. ‘What on earth are you doing in Fiji?’
‘What most tourists do here…holidaying.’ She laughed. ‘How about you? Just arrived or just leaving?’
‘Just arrived, only I’m not here as a tourist. I’ve come to help out at the medical clinics run by a world aid organisation.’
‘You’re a med student?’ At his nod, she smiled. ‘So am I. Isn’t that amazing?’
He shrugged. ‘Sure is. Guess we’re both smarter than we look,’ he said lightly. Natalie was just about to tease him back when she realised that although his blue eyes were the same as they’d been when they’d been teenagers at school, this time they were not filled with laughter but sadness. ‘How’s your life been going?’ she asked, a little cautiously.
He shrugged again and tried a nervous laugh—he failed and it came off as a moan. He looked down at the ground for a moment, then finally raised his gaze to hers, his gaze now intent. ‘Terrible, actually. I got divorced this morning.’
Natalie was heartsore at seeing her old friend so down. ‘Oh, Marty.’ It was her turn to reach out and touch him, taking his fingers in her hand. ‘I’m sorry to hear that.’ She glanced around them before asking, ‘Where are you staying? Maybe once you’re settled in, we can get a drink and talk.’
Marty thought it over for a moment, wondering if he really wanted to burden Natalie with the gory details of his divorce. If she had been any other woman, he’d have played it cool and worked hard at masking his current pain, but this was Nat…his friend, and right now he needed a friend.
He must have been thinking for too long because she quickly said, ‘But if you’d rather not, that’s OK. I understand.’
‘That would be great,’ he said sincerely, cutting off her last words. They stared at each other for a moment and he realised just how incredible she looked. He’d always known she’d grow into a beautiful woman and he was glad to have been proved right. For a moment, the mood between them shifted to one of awareness and it seemed to startle them both. Surely those old feelings he’d felt for her when he’d been a gangling teenager weren’t still there? He shut the thought away as quickly as it had come. He was depressed, he was distraught and he was recovering from a messy divorce. This was not the time, although the glorious setting might certainly have been the place.
Marty forced himself to smile and say brightly, ‘Then again, unlocking my psyche may be hazardous to your health.’
Natalie paused for a moment before returning his smile. ‘I think I’m strong enough to risk it. Besides, you helped me when my parents got divorced. That was a tough time for me and you got me through. Marty, if you need an ear, chew mine. I owe you one.’ She gave his hand a final squeeze before releasing him. ‘Do you want to meet in half an hour?’
‘No.’ He took her hand back. ‘Come with me. It won’t take long to check in.’
They talked about the world aid organisation as they headed to his hotel and went through the rigmarole of settling him into his room. ‘I’m only here for a week, then I move to wherever they need me,’ Marty explained.
‘Best enjoy that comfy bed while you can, eh?’ she said as she stood by the door. The room felt small with the two of them in it and for some reason she felt more comfortable by the door. Stop it, she told herself. This is Marty, for heaven’s sake. But Marty had changed since school. His shoulders were broader, his legs were longer and his hair was darker. And there was her road block. She only dated blonds and preferred men with either green or brown eyes. He wasn’t her type, and even if she was interested in Marty, he was her friend and right now she sensed he needed friendship above all things.
‘Where shall we go to talk?’ she asked when he was finally settled, if you could call dumping his backpack on the floor and using the bathroom ‘settled’.
Again, those broad shoulders shrugged. ‘You’ve been here longer. Know anywhere we can get a drink and talk privately?’
Natalie thought for a moment. Sunset would be in an hour and she was starting to get hungry. ‘I have an idea.’ Within another half an hour, after dragging him to some of her favourite food places, she’d assembled a rough picnic, including a bottle of cheap wine, and carried it to the beach. ‘We don’t have any glasses, so we’ll just have to take turns swigging from the bottle,’ she said with a small chuckle, but he didn’t respond. She’d noticed he’d become more and more withdrawn as time had passed but finally they were sitting on the sand, most of the people heading back to their hotels and homes for their evening meal.
Wordlessly, she handed Marty some food, insisting that he eat. ‘Mmm,’ he said after his second mouthful. ‘Thanks.’
She wasn’t sure if he was thanking her for the food or something else. He still didn’t seem inclined to blurt out whatever was bothering him and, being the impatient person she was, it certainly wasn’t easy, cooling her heels.
‘Have you been in Fiji long?’ he asked as he unscrewed the lid on the wine bottle. He took a swig, then grimaced. ‘This stuff is bad.’
‘Bad but potent,’ she offered.
‘And you figured I’d need potent tonight?’
Natalie shrugged. ‘Don’t you?’
Again he just looked at her and she felt as if she was sitting on shifting sand. Finally, he spoke. ‘Probably.’ He took another swig. ‘Second mouthful isn’t as bad as the first.’
Natalie laughed. ‘Glad to hear it.’
‘Answer my question.’ He put more food in his mouth and waited.
‘I’ve been here for two weeks and I leave tomorrow evening.’
&n
bsp; ‘What? So soon? Can you extend your stay?’
‘I’d really like to but I can’t. I’m due back at work the day after I get back.’
‘Work?’
‘I work part-time in a lab at the medical school.’ She shrugged. ‘It pays the bills.’
‘Same old independent Nat.’ He took another swig. ‘Actually, this isn’t too bad at all.’
‘Glad to hear it. So, divorced this morning, eh?’ she blurted, now too impatient to be tactful. She knew she didn’t need to apologise for her behaviour. This was Marty and he knew her of old. True, they hadn’t seen each other for years but there was a bond between them…one that seemed to help them pick up where they’d left off at the end of year nine.
Marty chuckled. ‘Same old Nat,’ he said again.
‘Hey. Not so much of the old.’ She took the wine bottle from him and took a swig herself, coughing a little. ‘What exactly does “divorced this morning” mean?’
‘I signed my divorce papers first thing this morning. Then I jumped on a plane and came here, running away to a world aid organisation. I know it will look good on a résumé and the people here need help, but honestly, Nat, my motives are as selfish as they come.’
‘I think they’d appreciate the help, whatever the driving force is that brings people here in the first place. Besides, it sounds as though you need space and a complete change in routine.’
‘You’ve got that straight.’
Natalie waited a beat before saying, ‘Divorce, huh? Doesn’t sound like fun.’
Marty took the bottle back from her and took a long drink. ‘Nope. No fun at all…and you know how much I like having fun.’
‘Your ex-wife wasn’t fun?’
‘Gloria?’ He paused for a moment. ‘Fun isn’t a word I’d use to describe her.’
‘What word would you use?’
‘Stunning, poised, gentle.’ He sighed and looked out over the water to the setting sun. ‘At least, that’s the way she was in the beginning. I have a revised set of adjectives.’ Another drink. ‘Vapid hits the top. Conniving, untrustworthy.’
‘How long?’
‘How long was I a sucker?’
Natalie nodded.
‘One year and eight long months. Well, we’ve been separated for a year but we were officially married for eight months before I filed for separation.’
‘Eight months? That’s it?’ Natalie was surprised. ‘That’s not long, Marty. It’s less time than it takes for a baby to form in its mother’s womb.’
‘The fact that I was taken in at all irritates me.’ He picked up a handful of sand and let it slowly sift through his fingers. ‘I was a fool.’
‘No,’ she countered. ‘You’re not a fool, Marty. She’s the fool, and don’t you know that only fools are ever satisfied? You weren’t satisfied. You saw through her in eight months! It took my parents almost eighteen years to see through each other and there was a lot of bitterness and anger all the way through that. Your marriage failed, Marty, but that doesn’t mean you’re a failure.’
‘How…?’ He stopped, had another drink and then shifted so he was looking straight at her. ‘How am I supposed to trust my judgement again?’
‘As dumb as it sounds and as clichéd as it sounds, the answer is time.’
‘Time? That’s all you’ve got for me?’ He picked up another handful of sand and let it slowly drain away. ‘Come on, Nat. Think back to your psych classes. I need more than just time.’
She took a deep breath and thought. ‘First of all, let go of all the revenge you feel like inflicting on her. That’s not going to happen. Know—for a fact—that there are plenty of other fish in the sea and some lucky woman is going to one day see you for who you are. Don’t give up on the fairer sex…at least, not just yet.’ She smiled but he didn’t reciprocate.
He looked at her again, then asked in a quiet voice, ‘Who am I?’ He wasn’t fishing for a compliment—he was genuinely asking the question, and in that one moment Natalie realised the depth of his hurt. She cared for him, he was her friend and she desperately wanted to help him in any way she could.
‘You’re a caring, honest man.’
‘How can you know that? You haven’t seen me for years and years.’
‘It’s what’s deep down inside that counts, Marty. You were there when I needed help all those years ago when my parents got divorced and, in fact, you were the one who told me time would heal my hurt.’
‘And did it?’
Natalie thought for a moment, knowing he deserved her complete honesty. ‘My dad and I are at least talking now. Time is healing that wound but I’ve learnt not to rush it.’ She smiled.
‘Well, that’s new. Natalie Fox not being impatient. Never thought I’d see the day.’
She gave his shoulder a friendly punch. ‘Seriously, Marty, you’re a terrific person and Gloria was wrong to do what she did to you. It will change you but ultimately what’s happened will make you a better, stronger person. Don’t try and fix everything immediately. Allow yourself the opportunity to grieve, to let go of what’s happened. I mean, you only signed the papers this morning.’
‘The whole of this last year I’ve been asking myself how I could have been such an idiot. Why I didn’t see through her in the first place. None of my friends were comfortable around her and I didn’t heed the warning signs.’ His speech was starting to slur and there was a highly charged emotion to his words. ‘I bet you’re not that dumb. You’ve probably not been stupid enough to tempt marriage.’
‘Stupid? Scared out of my wits is more like it.’ Natalie emphatically shook her head. ‘I’m seeing someone but I’m not looking to get married, I have medical school to finish. But we’re not talking about me.’
Marty frowned at her. ‘You’re seeing a guy? Where is he?’
‘He’s not here in Fiji, I mean. He’s back in Sydney.’
‘Your boyfriend let you come to Fiji all by yourself?’
‘I’m a big girl, Marty.’
Marty laughed without humour. ‘You’re a beautiful big girl, Nat. You’ve really grown into a stunner.’
‘Thanks, but I’d rather be thought of as smart than pretty.’
‘Too late.’ He grinned and drained the bottle. ‘This stuff is…Whoo!’ he yelled, making her jump.
‘Let’s get back to your psychoanalysis.’
‘Hit me, babe.’
‘Slow down and get to know the new you. You’re different from who you were before you met Gloria. You’ll probably throw yourself into work and that’s OK so long as you don’t lose yourself in it. Give yourself some new goals, some new dreams.’
‘Dreams are bad,’ he slurred, lying back on the sand.
‘No. Dreams are good…’ She paused and smiled. ‘Just don’t expect them all to come true. Your biggest problem at the moment is that all you can see is what you’ve done wrong, but try looking at what you’ve done right instead. Turn the negative into the positive.’
‘Positive,’ he mumbled. ‘That’s good. Turn the negative into the positive.’ A moment later, he laughed out loud and yelled, ‘I’m free!’ Then he said, ‘I’m going to keep my emotions under control and not get so deeply involved with anyone again.’ He took another big breath and yelled again, ‘I’m really free!’
Natalie couldn’t help but laugh and as she turned to look over the water she realised she’d missed the sunset. She sighed, knowing Marty was worth the sacrifice. They were friends and friendship, especially with him, was something she’d always held dear, more dear than romantic relationships.
The next morning, Marty came knocking at her hotel door just before eight o’clock. She’d just finished dressing and was surprised to see him. ‘How did you know where I was staying?’
‘This was the sixth hotel I tried. Come on, let’s go.’
‘But I have to pack.’
‘Packing won’t take long. We only have today and I’ll tell you right now, we’re going to throttle it.’
&
nbsp; ‘Throttle the day?’
‘Yes, so don’t just stand there. Grab your bag, put your shoes and hat on and let’s get going, Dr Fox.’
She giggled at his infectious mood. ‘That sounds so strange. What about Dr Williams?’
‘Horribly strange. Let’s go, Nat.’
They headed out to a small café for breakfast, then headed to the markets, haggling and enjoying themselves and buying things they really didn’t need. In the afternoon, Natalie insisted she needed to pack or she’d be in danger of missing her plane. To her utter disgust and surprise, Marty packed for her, throwing her things in willy-nilly and jamming her suitcase closed.
‘Sit on it, Nat. Then I can zip it up properly.’
‘If you’d let me fold my clothes, I wouldn’t need to sit on it,’ she grumbled. ‘I’m going to have extra washing to do when I get home.’
‘And you can think of me and grumble while you’re doing it,’ he said good-naturedly. ‘We still have more throttling to do before you get on that plane. Let’s go, let’s go.’
After handing in her room key and thanking the desk staff for a wonderful stay, Marty took her out for an early dinner before taking her to the airport. There, he waited with her until her flight was called.
‘Give me your address,’ he said, putting a piece of paper into her hands. ‘That’s mine. I’m in Queensland at the moment. Gloria’s in Darwin and I needed to move when we separated.’
Natalie quickly wrote down her address. ‘I didn’t think you were the letter-writing type of guy.’
‘I’m not, but you might be lucky enough to get a Christmas card.’
‘Excuse me, miss,’ the flight attendant said. ‘You really need to get on the plane now.’
Natalie turned to face Marty. ‘It’s been fun. I wish we’d had more time.’
‘Me, too.’
Natalie hadn’t been looking forward to this moment ever since she’d realised Marty intended taking her to the airport. She hated goodbyes but she’d already lived through one goodbye with Marty so she guessed she could do it again.
To her surprise, he bent his head and pressed a tender kiss to her cheek. She breathed in deeply, her eyelids fluttering closed as his scent washed over her. His roughened jaw brushed against hers, causing tingles to spread throughout her entire body. This was Marty, she kept telling herself. You’re friends. Just friends. You have a boyfriend back home.
