I thought about her words as she walked away. I had been so consumed by thoughts of why he’d closed off that I hadn’t considered why I was so bothered. Then it hit me. Hard. Cassie wasn’t wrong. To a certain extent I had fallen for Nate. Maybe not full blown, I-can’t-live-without-you love, but there were definitely stronger feelings than just lust floating inside me. I was screwed. I needed to get Nate’s plans finished and back on a plane home as soon as possible.
***
A few days later, Nate was still quiet. I’d been working at my computer all morning and needed a break so I went for a wander. The doors of the barn were open, and I heard the grunts of someone repeatedly hitting the punch bag. Sneaking in quietly, I sat in a chair in the corner and watched. Bernie held the bag while Nate thundered punch after punch into the leather. This went on for several minutes with the punches becoming more and more aggressive with each swing. Nate looked volatile.
When Roy stepped out from the shadows and crossed over to a table I ran over.
“What’s going on?” I asked as he poured a sachet of something into a sports bottle. “What’s that?” I pointed to the drink.
Roy shook it. “Isotonic drink. We need to keep Nate’s body hydrated.”
That made sense with all the training he was doing. “What’s up with him?” I nodded in Nate’s direction where he continued to jab the bag, oblivious to my presence.
Roy shrugged. “He’s just focused.” He then walked away, taking the drink to Nate.
I sat and watched for a while longer, wincing when they climbed into the cage and started grappling. I began to see the raw power in Nate. When I’d witnessed him training in Monaco, I’d thought he’d been giving it his all. I had been so wrong. At one point, Wes had to jump in the cage and pull Nate from Roy when he tapped out from a painful and un-natural looking arm lock. When the two men began arguing over Nate’s aggressiveness, I was unable to watch any more. Quietly, I left the barn and returned to my makeshift office. Something about Nate’s demeanour was seriously worrying me.
~CHAPTER SEVENTEEN~
Another week passed with Nate being… professional with me. He wasn’t rude, or dismissive, he wasn’t being anything. Every day he would be in the barn working out and training with Bernie, Wes, Roy and Cassie from sun up to sun down. Once a day I would head in there for my own workout, training alone or working with Cassie. I missed Nate. I missed our banter. More importantly, I missed the way he pushed me. I often thought back to that very first training session we’d had together, how he had taken me way beyond what I felt comfortable with but had ended up igniting something within me. He hooked me in early and became the driving force behind the new woman I stared at every day in the mirror.
Tightening the laces on my Converse, I stepped out into the balmy night time breeze. I’d spent the day in my makeshift office with fans blowing on me from all angles while I worked on the plans. It had been a scorching hot day with high temperatures and no daytime breeze to help cool things down. Regularly, I’d found my gaze drifting out the window, looking towards the barn and wondering what was happening inside, what Nate was doing. So, after yet another tense dinner, I’d grabbed my shoes, deciding I needed some air and space.
Wandering through the rows of grapevines, lit only by the glow of the moon, I appreciated the beauty of the area. It was so quiet and peaceful, the only sounds coming from the chattering of crickets calling out for a mate… or warning off the competition. I tugged a small bunch of grapes from a vine and began popping them into my mouth one by one. It seemed such a tragedy that so much of Nate’s land would be spoiled by more buildings and concrete.
I was nearing the bank of the river when I heard a voice. Peering through the vines, I saw Roy leaning against my rock, talking on his phone. I should have turned and left him to his privacy, but something kept me rooted to the spot, fighting to hear his words on the breeze.
“Yes… we’re on schedule… no, they have no idea…” A squawking noise startled me, sending me searching for the sound. My heart pounded as I spotted a nocturnal bird swoop low and scoop up something from the ground before flying off into the dark night sky once again. When I turned back to continue spying on Roy, he had shifted position, his voice now muffled and unintelligible. Suspicious, I was curious about who he was speaking to and what the other end of the conversation was. A quick peek around gave me no obvious cover to be able to get any closer. If I moved in, I would be seen for sure, and I didn’t want Roy to know I’d been eavesdropping. Resigned to the fact I’d not be able to sate my inquisitive nature, I retreated further back into the vines, quietly making my way back to the house. I wasn’t going to be able to enjoy some quiet time on my rock that night.
It was getting late by the time I made it back to the house. Knowing I had a busy day ahead of me, I decided to call it a night. I would crawl into bed and do some reading before falling asleep.
“Where have you been?”
I stumbled on the loose shingle path and whirled around, searching the blackness of the rear yard. Nate was sat at the table to my right sipping a glass of water.
“You scared the shit out of me,” I replied stepping towards him.
“Where have you been?” he repeated, looking up at me as I approached.
“I went for a walk.”
“You shouldn’t be out walking alone in the dark,” he chastised.
“What? Are you kidding? We’re on your property, Nate, out in the middle of nowhere. What could possibly happen to me out here?”
“A lot could happen to you out there. Don’t do it again.”
I laughed once, a humourless, bitter sound. “And what do you care?”
“I care very much, that’s the problem,” he muttered, staring into my eyes, holding my gaze.
My pulse raced under the weight of his stare. I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to throw a jibe at him, something about indifference not being very caring, or maybe bitch about being unable to care for someone if you knew nothing about them and avoided them all the time. I didn’t. I couldn’t. My eyes were riveted on his, hypnotised by the glittering silver orbs fixed on me.
“That’s the problem, Liv. I care too fucking much,” he said again, shaking his head. “But there is nothing I can do about it.” He sighed, sounding resigned.
“What the hell are you talking about?” I finally found my voice—my don’t-mess-with-me-I’m-pissed-off voice—and pulled out the chair opposite. “You’ve acted like I’m your worst enemy these last two weeks.”
“I know and I’m so fucking sorry. Having Royce thrust onto me really pissed me off, and then when you said… Look it doesn’t matter. I know I’ve been a bastard, and I’m sorry. This fight is going to be the death of me, Liv. I feel so angry, so out of control.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and clutching his hands in front of him. He seemed so dejected, not the same vibrant man I’d come to know.
“Hey!” Moving in front of him, I dropped to my knees and took his hands in mine. “I can’t imagine the pressure of preparing for something like this. It must be immense. But I’m here for you, Nate. I can help you. Let me help you,” I implored.
Nate sucked in a deep breath, slowly exhaling it through his nose. Then he took me by surprise when he lifted me easily off the ground and pulled me onto his lap. “I’ve missed you,” he said, his hoarse voice muffled as he nuzzled his face into my hair.
“And I’ve missed you.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and held him close, feeling some of his tension fading away.
“I meant it, Liv,” he said after a few minutes of comforting silence. “Please don’t go walking around by yourself. The property isn’t secured. Anyone or anything could be out there.” His grip on my waist tightened. “I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to you.”
“Okay,” I whispered, soothingly. At that moment, feeling him clinging to me as though he needed me to survive, I would have agreed to anything.
***
/> Things slowly improved between us. Nate was still aggressive with his training, and I tried to stay away whenever he was with Roy because he would still end up snapping at me. When we had the chance to be alone though, he would relax. I began doing a training session with him every day, getting him to throw a few more of his fancy martial art moves into my sessions. He was happy to help, knowing I could use them as self-defence one day if needed. We also tried to spend some down time together each day, away from the barn and prying eyes. We would go for walks down to the river—the rock eventually became our place, not just mine—we would talk and joke, but it was all in the friend zone. Not once did Nate show any signs of wanting to rekindle the physical side of our friendship. Some days, that bothered me, especially if I’d caught sight of him wearing nothing but shorts and hand wraps, glistening with sweat, the longer strands of his hair slicked back. He was hot, there was no denying it. I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to experience the pleasure he had brought me again. But I was content with what we had.
Suddenly, there were only two weeks to the fight and everything became more hectic. Nate was inundated with interview and media requests, his training kicked up to a new level and there was a buzz around the place that had been noticeably absent before. To add to it all, I’d managed to put most of my focus on what I was there for and only had a few minor changes to make before the plans would be finished and submitted for approval.
I felt great, alive.
“What’s the number one rule?” Nate asked as we circled each other. Everyone else had decided to take an afternoon off. Wes, Cassie and Bernie took the Cayenne and drove into town, feeling the need to socialise with people beyond the boundaries of Nate’s land. I wasn’t sure where Roy had gone, but he had taken another vehicle and gone off somewhere alone. Nate wanted to use the time to show me a few moves. That’s why I was in his cage wearing a pair of short shorts, a tight fitting vest top and had training mitts tied to my hands.
I kept his gaze as I continued sidestepping not allowing him near me. “Keep my guard up.” I lifted my hands into the defensive posture he had drilled into me.
“And the second?”
I jumped and quickly backed up when he lunged. “Always be prepared. Attackers are unpredictable, opportunistic.”
“Good girl,” he said with a smile.
“Nate?” I asked, risking a jab which he dodged.
“Yes?”
“I want to learn more of the stuff you do. You know, more of the grappling and holds.”
He lunged again, this time managing to get hold of me and knocking me to the floor. “Is that so?”
I wriggled under his weight, trying to free myself of the hold he had me in. It was all very similar to that time in his apartment back home. “Yes,” I breathed through my exertions. “I want to be the one capable of holding you down. Will you show me some holds?”
He sat back on his knees, allowing me to move. “And what is the fun in that?”
“The fun in that is me getting the upper hand for once.” Moving to my knees, I mirrored his posture.
He grabbed my hands and placed them on the hard contours of his upper arms. Then with a firm yet measured grip, he circled his long, strong fingers around my biceps. “How about this? I want you to fight against me. Get me down and I’ll show you something extra special.”
“That’s unfair.” I pouted. “You are so much better than me. I don’t have a hope in hell of getting you beneath me.”
His lips pulled in, trying to contain a smile. “Isn’t that my line?”
“What?”
“Nothing,” he said smirking. “Are we going to do this or not?”
“Okay, but you better be fucking easy on me, Nate, or I swear to all that is holy, I will find some way to kick your arse.”
He either thought that the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard, or took pleasure in the idea of it actually happening. He started to chuckle. His laugh was infectious, causing me to laugh with him until my sides hurt.
“Okay, Rocky,” he said, wiping his eyes. “Let’s do this.”
We repositioned on our knees, spreading them wider for extra stability, our hands gripping each other’s upper arms.
“Okay, tell me when to st—” Before I could finish, Nate had me on my back. He kneed my legs out straight and gripped both of my hands in one of his. With the weight of his body covering mine, he had me immobilised and subdued within seconds.
“You play dirty,” I grumbled, trying unsuccessfully to dislodge him.
“I’d like to,” he whispered, looking down on me.
Staring up at him, I noticed his eyes had changed. Gone was the playful silver glint. In its place was deep, grey heat and a burning intensity.
I swallowed hard. “What?”
“Do you trust me, Liv?”
“Yes, but—” He silenced me with a finger over my lips.
“I want to do something I’ve been fantasising about for weeks,” he said, moving up my body until he was straddling my chest. Taking my hands, he quickly loosened the ties of my gloves and then lifted me, carrying me towards the outer edge of the cage. I watched in horror—and heat—as Nate used the laces of my gloves to tie my hands to a pole.
“I like you in my cage,” he whispered seductively, repositioning himself between my legs.
I wanted to ask him what he thought he was doing. I wanted to yell and scream at him to untie me, but I couldn’t. The words were stuck in my throat along with the scream of pleasure I wanted to make when he bit a nipple through my sports bra. I tried protesting, I really did, but all that came out were whimpers and moans caused by his hot tongue and the feeling of his lips skimming over my heated flesh.
“I want to show you a new move,” he said, pushing my t-shirt up and then shuffling back, nipping and licking his way over my stomach.
“Yeah? What move is that?” I panted, squirming beneath him.
When he reached my pelvis, a deep, gravely groan vibrated from his throat. Quickly, he removed my shorts and panties, trailing his tongue back up along my thigh, to the throbbing epicentre of my womanhood.
“It involves a bit of tugging...” His teeth latched on to my pulsing clit and gently tugged. I gasped, pulling on my restraints.
“Some pushing…” My leg muscles quivered when his tongue darted inside my warmth.
“And lots of movement.” I almost came when his lips traced along the lips of my sex, leaving no millimetre untouched.
For a brief moment, he moved away. I whimpered immediately, missing the warmth of his mouth but it soon returned, kissing along the inside of my thigh. The scratch of his stubble on my overly sensitive flesh was harsh but added to the sensual feelings slowly consuming me.
As he made his way higher, I peered down, excited by the erotic picture I knew I would find. Nate’s eyes were on mine, feral and needy. His arms wrapped around my thighs, holding me firm while his tongue once again trailed along the seam of my sex. Gasping in pleasure, I could no longer keep my eyes open. My back arched and I surrendered to the sensations.
While I panted and moaned, Nate continued torturing me with just his mouth. His stubble burned against my thighs, but the silkiness of his hair skimming across my pelvis soothed. His deep, earthy scent permeated the air. My senses were overloaded. Being unable to move my arms and knowing he was using only a small part of his body to bring me such intense pleasure, it was the most erotic moment of my life. All too soon I was crying out his name. My back arched off the canvas and my legs began to quiver until they were cramping. The orgasm that rocked through me was so intense, I was left panting and unable to move a muscle. He had literally paralysed me with passion.
Nate moved up my body, trailing his lips along my flesh. He kissed my temple and the tip of my nose while he fumbled to untie the gloves. Free of my restraints, he pulled me up to straddle his lap, wrapping his arms firmly around my waist.
“I don’t think I’m going to be able to train in her
e anymore,” he said, placing a kiss on the tip of my nose. “I won’t be able to concentrate.”
“Oh?” My fingers trailed a line down his chest, starting in the dip at the bottom of his throat and moving down. I spent time tracing the tattoo covering his pectorals and looked him in the eye when he flinched at my touch. I wanted to ask him again what it symbolised, but the warning was there in the deepness of the grey, telling me not to go there yet. Resigned, I carried on moving downwards.
“Every time I’m in here, I’ll be picturing you on the canvas squirming in pleasure and not Wes or Royce squirming in pain,” he said, watching my fingers as they trailed along the waistband of his shorts. Suddenly he jumped up, taking me with him. It always amazed me how strong he was and how effortless he made picking me up seem.
“Nate? What’s wrong?” I felt the confused crumpling of my forehead. I hoped to god he wasn’t pulling away. I didn’t think I could take it. Not again. I’d so easily submitted to his desires without thinking or questioning. It had been dangerous, with our history, but that’s what he did to me. He stripped me of all rational thoughts and left me with nothing but the need for him.
He backed me up against the mesh of the cage, pinning my hips with his and holding my face with both hands. His eyes searched mine. “I can’t go there with you,” he whispered. “Not here. Not yet.”
He must have seen the hurt in my eyes, because he continued, “I want to. God, do I want to. I have to hold myself back, though, Liv. These past few weeks have been fucked up and it’s only going to get worse. The next time I make love to you, it will be without restraint, in a bed, with all the time in the world for me to savour every inch of your delicious body.”
Prepared to Fight Page 22