“Elise, I’m always tearing your clothes off because I’m insanely attracted to you. Like more attracted than I’ve ever been to anyone before. When we’re not together, the thought of you drives me crazy. And, when we meet, and you kiss me, it’s kind of overwhelming. I guess I have been selfish in confining you to my bed, but it’s because I can’t get enough of you, not because I don’t want to be seen with you in public. It’s been hard not seeing you for the past couple of days, really hard, actually.”
“Oh,” I said, cheeks tingling with pleasure and embarrassment. “I always worry that I look too mainstream, and not cool enough for you. I mean, I look nothing like Christie.”
“Are you kidding? You’re totally stunning. Anyone would be privileged to be seen with you.”
“I’m being silly, aren’t I?” I said in a small voice.
“Very,” she said with a grin. She leapt to her feet. “Ok, let’s go out. We can wander the streets, get coffee, stop for happy hour someplace, and then have dinner. How does that sound?”
“I don’t know if I can stretch to dinner, but the rest of it sounds fantastic!” I said.
“Don’t worry, my treat,” Jack said.
“Let’s argue about that later,” I replied. “Just one thing before we go – “ I caught her hands and pulled her back onto the bed. “I think we were supposed to be having sex.”
“Oh, yes – I almost forgot,” she said, leaning forward, and bringing her lips to mine. I hooked my fingers into the hem of her t-shirt and pulled it over her head. She wasn’t wearing a bra, and her lovely, caramel-tinted nipples quickly hardened, begging for the touch of my tongue. I stripped her jeans off equally fast, and then her snug, white boy shorts. I pushed her back onto the bed, the white comforter a perfect backdrop to her smooth, perfectly toned, olive-skinned body, with the carefully-trimmed strip of dark hair that drove me crazy. I cupped her firm, round breasts, clamping her nipples between finger and thumb, as I slid down her body, and latched my mouth onto her clit.
She cried out as I instantly sucked it hard, not teasing her first as I normally did. She was wet enough, her sweet, exciting scent filling my nostrils. I was planning on making her come as fast as I could, but I was getting more and more turned on as my tongue flickered over her swelling clit. I moved a little lower and slid my tongue inside her, as I slipped my hand into my panties. My own clit was swollen, a hard, aching bud. As I continued eating Jack out, tasting the tanginess of her, indulging myself in her exquisite wetness, I circled my clit with my finger. I knew it wouldn’t take long, and as her hands tangled into my hair, and her hips jerked impatiently, wanting me to move back onto her clit, I exploded in a beautiful orgasm that shot multicolored stars deep into my belly.
“That’s so hot,” Jack whispered. I moved onto her clit again, giving her the suction and the fast tempo of my tongue that she was craving. My scalp tingled from her tightening grasp on my hair, as she kept me exactly where I was. The roughness of it turned me on all over again, and my mind spilled over with fragments of fantasies. Seconds later, she came too, her clit swelling in my mouth, and me fighting to maintain my contact as her hips bucked.
I waited, keeping my tongue in the same position, until the final waves of her orgasm had subsided. Then, I stood up, pulling up the zipper on my pants.
“Shall we go?” I said. She looked up at me lazily, still beautifully naked on the bed.
“I like this side to you, Elise,” she said, with a grin.
It was farmers’ market night, and the little town was buzzing with people. It was famous in the region, and people came from all over the county to stock up on fresh produce and eat at the locally-sourced food stalls. Crowds thronged around the whole downtown area, and the main street was so packed that we had to push our way through.
“Four years here, and this is the first time I’ve made it to farmers’ market,” Jack said. “Sheesh, I had no idea it got so busy!”
“It’s always pretty crazy here,” I said. “But totally worth it. I come here most weeks, and always eat at this amazing Spanish stall.”
“Hey, this way.” Jack took my hand and led us through a knot of people. When we’d passed them, she kept hold of my hand. As we walked, I felt glances flickering in our direction, and, suddenly, the earth seemed to tilt on its axis. I’m holding hands in the street with a girl. And lots of people can see us. My legs kept moving, but internally, I was paralyzed. What if Elaine, Andie, my sister, anyone I know from college sees us together? How could I explain it? A tidal wave of embarrassment swept over me. Guiltily, I withdrew my hand from hers.
“Are you ok?” Jack glanced at me, then looked at me more carefully. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry, I’ve just never held hands with a girl in the street before.” She laughed, but I thought she looked a little wounded.
“Of course you haven’t,” she said. “Come on, things like this are much easier after a beer.” She took us through a tangle of backstreets to a microbrewery with a bar attached to it. We picked an outside table that caught the last of the day’s sun.
“You don’t like beer, do you?” she asked, flipping through the extensive menu.
“I do, I haven’t drunk much of it though. I usually have mixed drinks or wine with the girls.”
“That’s a tragedy,” she said, shaking her head.
“Well it’s a good job you’re here to help me, then,” I said.
“Ok, you can get samplers here, so we could try a few different ones and see which you like?”
“That sounds like fun!” We got a flight each – five different beers in what looked like a row of test tubes. I liked the caramely ones, the bitter ones not so much.
“Liking beer is pretty much a pre-requisite for a lesbian,” Jack said, fixing me with a serious expression.
“I guess I’m a lightweight, in all aspects,” I said.
“I wouldn’t say that.” I smiled acknowledgement, but then bit my lip.
“I’m sorry I was weird before,” I said. “And I feel really dumb, and like a giant hypocrite, because I was worrying about you not wanting to go out in public with me, and now I’m the one who’s freaking about us being seen together.”
“Elise, it’s ok, I do understand. Your life has changed so much in the last few weeks, and it’ll take you a while to process it. But, you didn’t want to hold hands with me just now because you were worried about being seen by people you know. Correct?”
“Yes.”
“Then the only way to fix that is to tell them about me. And if you’re serious about being with me, you’ve got to get to the point where you feel comfortable enough to do that.”
“I know. I actually hadn’t realized how important that was until now. I kind of assumed I could live two separate lives.”
“But you can’t,” Jack said. “A: because you live in a small town, which makes you really visible, and B: because there’s only one of you, so living two lives means you’re lying to the people closest to you half the time.” I sighed.
“I know. It’s just that people will be so shocked. I’m not like you or your friends. Even the girl I met at the LGB night – ”
“Alyssa.”
“Yes, Alyssa – she’s really feminine, but she also has that alternative quality to her that might have prepared people for her gayness.” Jack laughed.
“Alyssa’s parents are ultra conservative Christians. She’s not in any hurry to come out, trust me.”
“But you know what I mean. I just look so mainstream. I’m scared that I’ll tell my sister, and she’ll have a mental breakdown.”
“Is she homophobic?”
“She’s never said anything.”
“But you suspect?”
“Well, no, not really.”
“Elise, she’s chosen to live in a town with one of the highest gay populations in the US, and didn’t you say she’s got some eco job?”
“Yes, she’s an environmental scientist.”
; “So, she cares about the planet, and presumably about humanity too. So it doesn’t seem likely that she’d be into rejecting someone – someone she cares about a lot – for their sexual preferences?”
“It doesn’t, when you put it like that.” I drank the only beer I had left – the one I really didn’t like, which tasted of moldy vegetation – in a single gulp. “I guess I feel lonely sometimes. After losing my dad, and having a mom who’s often less of an adult than me, Melissa is all I’ve got. And I can’t stand the thought of alienating her, having her distance herself from me.”
“I’m sorry your family life has been so hard,” Jack said, squeezing my knee under the table. “You’ve got to give you sister a chance though, trust her to put your feelings ahead of her own. The alternative is lying to her all the time, which will inevitably create distance between you.” I fiddled with the empty beer test tube.
“But how do I start?”
“I don’t know. I guess next time she, or one of your closest friends asks if you’re dating someone, tell them the truth.” I let out a long breath.
“I’ll try,” I said. “I was also thinking of going to the LGB group at college, to have people to talk to, and maybe make some new friends.”
“I think that was your plan that night we met at the bar. But I guess I ruined it for you,” she said.
“You certainly did.”
“Seriously though, I think it’s a great idea.”
“Really? You don’t mind if I go?”
“Why would I?”
“I don’t know. Because I’ve got you now.”
“Yes, but I don’t own you, or your sexuality, and it’s important to have gay friends too,” she said, tapping my thigh. “Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m starving. Feel like showing me where your Spanish stall is?”
“Absolutely!” I said.
At the stall, we picked out some tapas dishes and ate them at stands that had been set up for the event.
Night had fallen, but the market was no less busy, with people lining up at all the food stalls. The air was full of the smell of charcoal grill, and of people’s happy conversations.
“This is so great,” Jack said, as we shared a bowl of paella with a glass of Manzanilla sherry.
“I often wonder if this is what living in Europe is like. I’d love to go some day.”
“Me too. My parents traveled around in a camper van in their younger days, and I’ve always wanted to do the same thing,” she said.
“Yeah! We could start in Spain, or maybe Portugal, and go east, for as long as our money held out.” I stopped, realizing that I’d been proposing joint plans. Jack had noticed as well. There was an intense expression in her eyes as she leaned towards me. I didn’t try to avoid her as her lips met mine, and we kissed for a long moment. When we pulled apart, I cast a quick glance to the left and right, but nobody seemed to be paying us any attention. I looked at her again, my heart fluttering.
“This sounds like a great idea,” she whispered.
Chapter Three
Jack
“Will there come a point in life when we no longer have to deal with our girlfriends coming out?” I remarked to no-one in particular. Alyssa and I had joined Jess and Tatiana at their new place, a slick, modern apartment on the top floor of one of the town’s most sought-after buildings. Officially, it was a penthouse, being the only apartment on that floor, with the luxurious fittings to match, but Tatiana was keen to play it down. She had a low-key attitude to her money. She accepted her father’s wealth graciously, as a piece of good luck that had been bestowed on her, as much by chance as good looks or sporting talent. She was generous with her friends, but never flaunted it ostentatiously. Jess hadn’t had an easy time agreeing to move into the apartment, but Tatiana’s father had bought it for her, and she said that if Jess wanted to live with her, she had to suck it up. Jess had confided that Tatiana had initially refused to accept any money for it, but eventually agreed that Jess could continue to pay what she’d paid at their old place. Knowing Tati, she’d probably get her father to invest it, and she’d give the total amount back to her at some point in the future.
We were lounging on a deep-pile white rug, pretending to play a board game.
“Hopefully by the time we’re thirty, everyone will have dealt with their own angst and other people’s prejudices,” Jess said cheerfully. “Now, it’s just one of the rites of passage that we get to enjoy in our early twenties.” I sighed.
“I feel like I’m being a selfish prick, but after having the drama with Christie, it’s tough having Elise worrying about coming out too. I wish we could have some time to enjoy being together, without this emotional angst coming up.”
“Sadly life often doesn’t work like that,” Jess said.
“I know. And the worst part is that I’m the one encouraging her to tell her sister about us.”
“Why?” Tatiana said, from her position by one of the floor-to-ceiling windows. She’d been staring down at the city far below, in between writing emails on her phone.
“Because I want to be able to go out with her as a couple, instead of sneaking around, and not being able to stay at her place.”
“Ah. In that case, you’re not being a selfish prick.”
“Thanks Tati.” She walked over to an old-fashioned cocktail tray, and retrieved the bottle of scotch we were drinking. She pulled out the cork, and I held my glass up for a refill.
“Still, it gets boring, doesn’t it?” she said. “You have your own coming out opera, and you think you’re done, and you’re skipping off into the field of rainbow flags. But then you meet someone, and, because they’re into you, they decide you’re their motivation to come out. But things don’t work out with them, so it’s the same with the next, and the next.”
“Hey!” Jess said. “I’d come out of the closet before I met you, and I’m you’re longest relationship so far, so don’t go throwing that bullshit around!”
“Sorry.” Tatiana sat down behind Jess and stroked her hair. “I was speaking in general terms, not personally.” Jess scowled at her, unoffended.
“Do you think there’ll be fireworks when it happens?” Alyssa asked. I shook my head.
“Her sister is the only significant family member she has to tell. Her mother’s all over the place with loser boyfriends, and she doesn’t have a father. From everything she’s told me, her sister will be cool with it. But, when there’s only one person looking out for you, it puts so much more pressure on them accepting you.”
“I can imagine, Alyssa said. “Hey, I’m just going out for a doobie. Anyone coming?”
“You can smoke in here,” Tatiana said.
“Oh, it’s just an excuse to check out your amazing balcony!” Alyssa said.
“I’ll join you,” I said, grabbing my jacket.
It was undoubtedly the most impressive balcony I’d ever seen. It ran three quarters of the way around the apartment, and incorporated a variety of plants in pots, a herb garden, a large barbecue, and an array of tables and chairs. I shivered a little as the breeze snuck beneath my jacket. Alyssa lit up immediately, from a selection of ready-rolled joints she had in a tin, and we hung over the balcony, peering down ten vertiginous stories.
“It feels like the nights are drawing in already, doesn’t it?” she said.
“Yeah. A couple of weeks ago I couldn’t remember what winter felt like. Now it seems to be lurking around the corner, just waiting to freeze our asses off for the next few months. Uggh.”
“I kind of like the cold weather. It can be romantic being snuggled indoors while it’s cold outside.”
“I guess I’m just too much of an outdoorsy type to appreciate it.”
“Uh huh? Jack who hasn’t left her bed in the past month,” Alyssa said, poking me in the ribs.
“There’s never been a better reason to stay in bed!”
“Ok, don’t rub it in! I know you two are disgustingly into each other. Some of us just happen to be
single, kay?” I draped my arm around her shoulder.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to be obnoxious. Have you heard from your lady-client again?” Alyssa’s lips pursed, before parting to reveal two rows of pearly teeth. She had nice teeth. They were rounded at the edges, so they appeared symmetrical, top and bottom.
“Maybe,” she said, her smile broadening.
“Ha! Please elaborate!”
“She booked me again, the night after I last saw you, and we went for cocktails at The Metropole. You know?”
“The most expensive bar in town, with cocktails at least half as good as DeeBee’s.”
“That’s the one. Would’ve been kind of funny, in a totally awkward way, if we’d gone to DeeBee’s instead though. Anyway, so she turned up in a black pencil skirt, this really flimsy silk blouse which went way down on her cleavage, and which you could totally see her bra through, and killer stilettos. She was making out that she’d just come from work, but those sure ain’t business clothes, I said to myself. She was more flirty than the previous time, and we got on well, having random chats about nothing much. We were sitting in a cozy corner of the room, and we’d drunk three cocktails each, with a fourth on the way, and she asked if she could kiss me.”
“No way! What did you say?”
“Well, I thought about it for a second. And, you have to understand, she was looking hot. She totally had that femme fatale thing going on, with the clothes and the make-up, and she kept pressing her thigh against mine, accidental little touches here and there. And I thought, why the hell not?”
“Awesome! And?” Alyssa’s eyes sparkled.
“She was a great kisser. I’ve never kissed anyone much older than me, or a femme, but it was kind of different, in a nice way. Before long, she asked me if I wanted to go upstairs with her. Because it turns out she’s staying at the hotel. I mean, fucking hell, that place is expensive.”
Me and Her (Always Her, Book 2): Lesbian Romance Page 4
