by JL Paul
I turned my face away from him as I expelled a large gust of air. “Whatever.”
Tess shoved two red plastic baskets under our noses and Jess gave her his sexy grin. “Thanks.”
Winking, she walked slowly away, putting an extra wiggle in her hips. And Jess noticed. My hackles rose.
“Hell-lo! You are here dining with someone in case you haven’t noticed!”
His crinkled eye smile tore at my heart and nearly chased away my jealous anger. “Sorry, babe. Girls like her who want to be looked at are usually only good for that; nothing else. Don’t get your panties in a bunch.”
I had no clue what to say to that so I took a bite of my hamburger. Jess’s eyes sparkled with laughter but he followed my lead and dove into his own food. We ate in polite silence, each chancing furtive glances at the other. And it wasn’t a comfortable silence in the least. My nerves were shot; totally destroyed. I managed half my burger before dropping it back into the basket. Jess looked at me from under his dark lashes.
“Finished already?”
I nodded, gulping my Coke. I pushed the basket at him without thinking about it. It was just a natural move – one I had done many times when we'd dated. A tiny smile flitted across his lips and disappeared as he picked up the burger, polishing it off in no time.
I took a deep breath before taking a deep plunge. “So what does this mean, Jess?”
Wiping his mouth, he lifted a brow. “What does what mean?”
“This little lunch date,” I said, reining in my frustration with all my might.
He shrugged as he leaned back. “It means we’re eating together.” He narrowed his eyes as he rested his arms on the table. His voice was uncharacteristically gentle. “Aubrey, you know why we ended things before. That’s still true. I’m all over the country for the better part of a year and as soon as you win this contest, you’ll be off recording CDs and touring.”
I couldn’t believe how sharp the pain was in my heart. How could I set myself up this way? I blinked rapidly, keeping the tears at bay. I could not allow him to see how much he hurt me. Again.
“You’re right.”
He took my hand in his, lacing his fingers through mine. “We can hang out when I’m in town, if you want. But I don’t date, Aubrey. It’s not fair.”
I nodded, nibbling on my bottom lip. He had a point but deep in my heart I really wanted him to say that we would find a way to make it work. It struck me like lightning to a tree. I still had feelings for him. I mean, like I had in school. And that wasn’t fair.
“I understand,” I mumbled, somehow managing a smile.
He continued to stare at me as though trying to find my lie somewhere on my face. He finally sat back, still keeping hold of my hand. “So, sweetheart, how’s the competition going?”
“It’s going okay, I guess. It can be nerve wracking.”
“You’ll kick all their asses,” he said with such confidence, I believed him.
That brought on another suspicion. It was my turn to narrow my eyes at him. “You voted for me to sing the Anthem, didn’t you?”
He laughed, his gray eyes shining. “Of course. I convinced most of the guys on the team to vote, too. And their families.”
I groaned as I rubbed my temple with my free hand. “Why would you do that to me?”
His eyes crinkled as half his mouth curved into a semi-smirk. “I wanted to see you.”
“You could have just called.”
“Where’s the fun in that?” he asked. I lifted a brow at him. “I lost your number.”
“It’s in the book.”
“Your mother hates me. Do you actually think she’d let me speak to her precious Aubrey Rose?”
I leaned over the table, practically snarling. “I am an adult.”
He met me halfway. “Then act like one.”
I shot straight up, shocked, blinking rapidly. “I do.”
He snorted in disdain. “Who got you the audition for this show?”
“I got it. I’m the one who sings, remember?” Stupid, sexy baseball player.
He rolled his eyes and I was starting to worry that he was going to hurt his eye sight. “Who sent in your tape?”
“That’s beside the point,” I said, bile rising in my throat.
“No, darling, that is the point.” His smirk infuriated me in a way I couldn’t explain. Maybe because he was right and he knew that I knew he was right. “When have you ever done anything on your own? Without your mother’s guidance?”
“I’m here, ain’t I?”
He grunted. “Are you going to tell your mother you met me for lunch?”
“Maybe,” I said casually, although I was lying. “If she asks.”
“Sure,” he grinned. I hadn’t fooled him. He shifted in his chair and signaled to Tess the bartender. Smiling, she poured him a beer, hurrying back to the table. She glanced briefly at me, asking if I wanted anything else. I shook my head and she wiggled her way back to the bar. This time Jess didn’t look.
“So, I’m having a get together at my place Friday night after the game. Do you want to come?”
My jaw fell and nearly scraped the table. What was with him? Didn’t he just say he didn’t date? But I guess inviting me over for a ‘get together’ wasn’t exactly a date. Maybe I should stay away from him. He’d already hurt me today. Spending more time with him would surely be categorized as masochistic. But I was weak. And his eyes were mesmerizing.
“Sure. If I can,” I said without conviction.
“You mean if your mother lets you,” he said, a touch of anger burning in his eyes.
“I mean if I don’t have any other obligations. I do have a show to do.” I hardened my voice.
“That show is on Wednesdays and Thursdays. What could you possibly have to do Friday night?”
Good question. I didn’t have an out unless I confessed that yes, my mother is the main reason why I didn’t know if I’d make it or not. But the challenging look in his eye dug into my skin. I’d find a way and show him that I was able to run my own life.
“I’ll be there,” I said, my eyes burning as intensely as his.
His shoulders relaxed as a genuine smile graced his beautiful lips. “Good girl.”
He called for Tess to bring him a pen and paper and she jumped at his biding. He wrote his address down and handed it to me, returning the pen to Tess and sending her on her way. She glanced longingly at him but he didn’t notice. He finished his beer, left a couple bills on the table, and stood. “I’ll walk you to your car.”
He didn’t touch me as we walked. That was fine with me. I didn’t know if I could handle it. When we got to my car, I fished the keys out of my bag. He took them from me and opened my door. Before I could step in, he whipped me around to face him, pressing his lips firmly to my mouth. I froze, unable to move a muscle, until he pulled away. Grinning, he gave me a wink.
“See you Friday, Aubrey Rose.”
He waltzed away, leaving me stunned and unmoving next to my car.
***
“Help me, Gwen,” I whined when I got home. My mother was still out doing who knew what and I was extremely grateful.
“What? Are you in trouble?” she asked, anxiety in her voice.
“I met Jess for lunch today.”
She laughed. “Good for you. What did he have to say?”
I relayed the whole conversation to her, ending with his invitation for Friday night. I did omit the weird kiss as I didn’t know what to think about that yet.
“So now I have to go,” I sighed. “And you know Mom.”
“Just go, Aubrey. Damn. She can’t control you.”
She was right but I was weak. I didn’t want any confrontations. And my dad wouldn’t step in, either. He hated drama.
“I can come and go as I please - I don't have to ask permission like a teenager. But you know as well as I do how she hates Jess. I don’t need to hear her rant for the next few days.”
“Yeah, I can understand
that. Fine,” she relented, releasing a long breath. “You can stay here Friday. I’ll run interference in case she calls. Just don’t answer your cell unless it’s me.”
“Really? Thanks so much, Gwen!”
“Well I expect you to start growing a backbone in return. Not all at once; it’ll take time. But I don’t want you stuck under Mom’s thumb for the rest of your life.”
“Okay,” I said. I’d agree to anything to get to go to Jess’s get together this Friday. I don’t know why I was so eager to get my heart broken again, but I wanted to go so badly that the pain seemed secondary.
“And,” she said, stretching the word to three syllables. “I don’t really expect you to sleep here, if you know what I mean.”
I knew exactly what she meant and my cheeks burned. “Um, don’t hold your breath. Jess said he doesn’t date.”
“Who said anything about dating? You really need to get l…”
“I got it,” I shouted. “Please, don’t get vulgar.”
“When’s the last time you did….that?” she asked carefully.
I didn’t want to admit it to her because she knew of the only two times I had. Originally, I'd planned to remain pure for my future husband but after a while, I began to think that my idea was ridiculous. I had dated a boy from a musical I'd starred in for an Indy production company after I'd graduated and had allowed him to do what I’d never thought I'd ever let any man do that wasn’t legally married to me. Twice, actually, because the first time had been such a disappointment. The second hadn't been much better either. But, I'd gotten it out of the way - even though it hadn't been the smartest decision I'd ever made. The more I thought about it, the stupider I felt.
“It’s been awhile,” I mumbled. “But I am not sleeping with Jess Rivers this weekend.”
“Of course not,” she chided. “Just giving you the option. So tell Mom you’re coming to spend the night with me and you can be on your merry way once the game is over.”
“Okay. Thanks. I really mean it.”
“Who loves ya, babe?”
I laughed. No one else in the world loved me like my sister. “I’ll talk to you later.”
I stared at my ceiling, pondering what I would wear and if I actually had to the guts to sleep with Jess. I’d come close in high school but it had just never happened. That was partially my mother’s fault and partially Jess’s. I guess neither thought I was ready. Well, if my mother would have had her way then I’d never have been ready. She'd tried like hell, too, to limit the time I'd had with Jess. And he'd never taken advantage of me, either. I had only been sixteen at the time and I think he thought I was too young. Looking back now, I realize he was right. Sixteen is too young for such a thing. But twenty-one….
I pushed the thought from my head as I trudged downstairs to eat dinner and inform my mother of my weekend plans.
Chapter Four
Rehearsal Wednesday morning for Wednesday night’s show went smoothly. Everyone always performed better without the judges around. And the cameras.
I hadn’t really made any friends either, which didn’t usually upset me but I knew Gwen was hoping I would. Some of the girls would tentatively smile at me but one girl in particular, Samantha Roper, didn’t like me much. I figured it was because of the whole sweetheart deal since she strived to be sweet as honey to the judges but was even more false than I. She reminded me of the typical popular girl from all the high school stories; pretty, rich, and a leader. She'd developed a following which dwindled each week as more and more contestants were booted from the show.
I avoided all the male contestants as though they were infected with highly communicable diseases. I was still trying to figure out my heart with the whole Jess episode and I didn’t need another man to throw me further off balance.
So the show became work to me. It was fun, sometimes, but mostly it was another gig. It was an attitude I couldn’t afford to have if I wanted to win but my heart just wasn’t in it. I tried hard, for my mother’s sake, and managed to squeak through to live another week. It was close, though, because Richard and Marissa lashed at me violently for not putting any ‘soul’ in my performances.
“I really think you should stay home this weekend and work on next week’s music,” my mother complained Friday afternoon. I should have seen it coming.
“I need a break, Mom,” I sighed.
“But Richard and Marissa keep saying the same things over and over. You do need to work on it, sweetheart.”
I cringed. I hated that word. The sweetheart name was everywhere now. I couldn’t go to the bathroom in public without someone calling me that dreaded name.
“Maybe I’m trying too hard,” I shrugged, hoping she'd fall for that line. “I need to relax a little bit.”
“But, Aubrey Rose,” my mother began.
“She needs a break, Susan,” my dad butt in, shocking us both. He usually kept his nose out of my music career and in his sports world, letting my mother deal with it. It worked fine for her, usually.
Pursing her lips, she gave a tight nod. I kissed my father on the cheek and ran upstairs to pack an overnight bag. The game was over; my dad had been watching it in the living room before he put his foot down to my mom. I wasn’t sure exactly what time the get together was supposed to start, but I couldn’t wait too much longer.
I raced to my car before my mother could come up with another reason to keep me home and called Gwen to let her know I was leaving. She wished me luck, and I knew she wasn’t just talking about the deception of my mother.
After I hung up with her, I called Jess. He must have recognized my number because I could actually hear the smirk in his voice.
“You on your way yet, Aubrey?” he asked.
“I was calling to see what time.”
“Any. I’m on my way home now. I’ll meet you there.” He hung up before I had a chance to say anything else. I was definitely going to have to do something about that nasty habit of his.
I’d looked up his address on the Internet to get driving directions and was completely in awe when I found his house. It was on the outskirts of the city, in a ritzy subdivision where the houses were sprawled out over acres and acres of lush green grass.
His house was a handsome, brick ranch sitting on a very large lot. I parked in the drive behind a black H3. Jess and his trucks. He opened the door and met me on the porch, glimmer in his eyes.
“I can’t believe you actually came,” he smirked.
“Don’t be an ass, Jess. I can still leave.” I stood before him on the porch, craning my neck to look up in his face.
Laughing, he kissed my cheek then draped an arm over my shoulder and led me inside. “How’d you manage to get out of the house?”
“Gwen,” I mumbled.
“Ah,” he said. “I always loved your sister. How is she? Still pissing your mom off?”
“Of course,” I grinned, proud.
He dropped his arm and took my hand, dragging me through the house without giving me a chance to inspect. He opened a French door and took me to the cherry wood deck. He pointed to a chair and I sat. He scooted another next to mine.
“So what’s the story? Spending the night at Gwen’s?”
“Yeah.” I felt like I was in school again; lying to my mother so I could sneak out with a boy.
“Good,” he laughed. “She won’t care if I keep you all night.”
I snorted, trying to appear nonchalant. Inside my heart was hammering and my stomach was fluttering like a baby bird trying out his new wings.
He put his hands on my thighs as he gazed directly in my eyes. “You know you want to, Aubrey.”
“I thought you didn’t date?” I blurted.
“Who said you had to date to have fun?”
Blanching, I swept his hands off my legs. I bit my trembling lip to keep it still. He got to his feet with a sigh, yanking me up also. Wrapping his arms around my body, he kissed the top of my head.
“I’m sorry. I guess th
at was pretty rude, huh?”
I nodded in his chest, inhaling a subtle, piney scent. Having his arms around me again was the closest thing to Heaven I could imagine and I really didn’t want him to let me go.
But he did. He inched me back in order to grip my shoulders. “You’re going to stay, right?”
How could I leave?
“Yeah,” I said. “I’ll stay for awhile.”
His lips bent upward before he kissed my cheek again. “Do you want something to drink? The others will be here soon.”
“Just a soda or water I guess,” I said. He rolled his eyes but left me on the deck to run in the house. He returned a few minutes later with a water bottle. I thanked him and took a drink. “Who all is coming tonight?”
“A few guys from the team and their other halves.” Taking me by the hand, he led me to the deck rail. “See that tree line?” He pointed to a patch of woods in the distance. I nodded. “I own all the land from here to there.”
“That’s a huge yard,” I said, noting the pride in his voice.
“You should see Troy’s place. He’s got about fifteen acres. And animals like you wouldn’t believe.” He laughed, eyes still trained on his yard. “That’s Kendra’s doing, though. Kendra’s his girlfriend. I guess she’s his fiancée now.”
“Troy’s on the team?” I asked. I figured I’d better try to get a handle on the names before they all converged on me.
He narrowed his eyes. “Don’t you watch the games?” I shook my head, afraid to tell him my reasoning. But I was sure he could guess. “Yeah. Troy plays short. And Derrick will be here. He plays third. A couple of the pitchers and maybe a catcher or two will be here also.”
“Oh,” was all I could manage to say.
“Aubrey,” he said, voice in a near whisper. The doorbell rang before he could continue. He closed his eyes for a second then sprinted off to answer. I leaned against the rail, staring out at the vast nothingness. If his friend Troy could find a way to become engaged to his girlfriend then certainly Jess could figure out a way to date me. But I wouldn’t push him. I’d just have to win him.
