I stop pacing and stare at him in disbelief. He can afford it? Exactly how much money does he have if he can afford to throw away two million dollars? No, doesn’t matter. I’m not letting him do this. He’s already planning ungodly things on my behalf; I can’t have him losing all his money, too.
“Call it off. Tell them it was a mistake. You can’t do this, Gage.”
“Of course I can. I am doing it.”
“Gage—”
He jumps to his feet, stopping me before I can say anything else.
“Look at me, Raven.”
I stare up at him begrudgingly. I know exactly how this is going to go. He’ll tell me what’s going to happen, ask me if I got it, and then end the conversation. I don’t even know why I try sometimes.
“All you need to think about is getting better. Let me worry about everything else. Got it?”
“Yeah, yeah. I got it. I don’t like it and I’m strongly objecting, but I got it.”
“Good. Let’s find you some breakfast.”
Back in the bar, I see Laurelyn walking in, clutching tightly to Dani and her purse. I don’t blame her. Looking beyond her, I see the scores of people lining up outside. I don’t know where they came from but a million emotions come at me, hitting me like a freight train. The rape, Laurelyn, Gage planning to kill a man because of me, spending all that money. I’m so overwhelmed, I start to hyperventilate. I can’t deal.
“What’s wrong?” Gage and Laurelyn ask in unison. That’s when I notice she’s standing in front of me.
“You should leave,” I say.
“Do you want me to come back later?”
“No. You should go home.”
The hurt and disappointed expression is instantaneous. It’s for the best. I don’t know why I thought I could handle all this at once. I look down at Dani and confusion is written all over her face.
“I promise I’ll call whenever I can. I just… I can’t deal with everything right now. I need time. I’m sorry. I just can’t.”
I hurry back to Gage’s room, locking the door behind me. Leaning on the door, I slide down to the floor as the tears begin to stream down my face. How am I supposed to get through all this? No one can help me. It doesn’t matter what anyone says or does, it will never be enough.
I can’t get through this.
I won’t.
CHAPTER 7
***Raven***
Seclusion. It’s probably the only word to describe the state I’ve been in since… I don’t even know. I guess “reclusion” would be a better word. I haven’t seen anyone but Gage and Dr. E since that day I told Laurelyn to go home. And seeing Dr. E was merely a necessity because he’s been checking on my injuries. The first time I saw him, he told me I hadn’t eaten in three days and he was putting me on an IV. Gage… even then, he was patient and understanding, calmly begging me to eat. I don’t know how he does it, because I haven’t even been speaking to him in complete sentences. I think the last thing I said to him was a mumbled “thanks” when he sheepishly handed me a plastic bag containing three different brands of pads, tampons, and panty liners. I almost smiled at the thought of him buying them for me. Almost.
I retreated into myself, hiding away from everyone and everything, completely shutting down. At least my body is healing. All that’s left are a few scars and a nagging pain in my shoulder. Dr. E says I have to go through physical therapy and even then, it will be months before it’s back to normal. Both he and Gage have been begging me to talk to a therapist, but I can’t. I can’t talk to anyone.
It’s not like I’ve been sad or depressed… just… numb. There’s no feeling, no awareness or concept of time. I only know it’s morning when Gage drags himself out of bed. I’ve watched him daily and it’s always the same: he brings me breakfast, showers, and then tells me he has to check in with the guys or one of the businesses. He’s back in time for lunch and is with me for the rest of the day—making sure I eat and take my medication. Most of the time, he turns the TV on and I pretend to watch while he works on his laptop or his phone. Sometimes, he works out his frustrations on the punching bag.
Every now and again, one of the guys knocks on the door, they talk in hushed tones on the other side, and then he either comes back to bed or leaves for a few hours. On those occasions, I know he’s off doing bad things for me. He doesn’t tell me where he goes or what he does, but I know. I see it in his eyes when he kisses my forehead before he climbs into bed.
Right now, his punching bag is on the receiving end of a major ass-kicking. He’s been going at it for a while, longer than usual. His hair is wet and sticking to his head and face, sweat trickling down his body, making wet spots on his shorts. I sit up, pulling my knees under my chin, and watch him. Has he lost weight? Am I stressing him out? Or is all the work on the punching bag making him leaner? He looks good—amazing, in fact. And yet, I feel nothing. That magnetic pull he’s always had is missing. He’s still a sex god, but somehow he no longer has an effect on me. There are no butterflies, no thumping heart, no ragged breathing. Nothing. Just an endless void. I’m a dying star, trapped in a black hole of nothingness. And nothing can escape a black hole. He should get away from me or he’s just going to get pulled in by the gravity. Then we’ll both be trapped.
He glances my way and eases up, grabbing the bag with both hands to stop it from swinging. His breathing is heavy, chest rising and falling at a rapid pace. Our eyes meet, but I drop my gaze. I can’t look into his eyes knowing I’m slowly destroying him.
“You okay?”
I nod.
“Need anything?”
I shake my head.
I feel him approaching but keep my eyes on my toes. He sits on the bed and takes my hand in his. Still nothing.
“Raven… I understand your need to check out. I do. But I can’t stand to see you like this anymore. Tell me, what can I do to make it better?”
“Break...” My voice catches so I clear my throat and raise my eyes to his. “Break up with me.”
“What?” His brows furrow in disbelief.
“Break up with me. Kick me out. Go back to a life where you don’t have to deal with me and my shit. Be...” I feel the tears coming on and raise my eyes to the ceiling, blinking to try and hold them back. “Be happy.”
“I’m not doing that, Raven. I can’t do that. I told you we’d get through this together, and we will.”
“Why? I’ve done nothing but fuck up your life. God knows what you’re out there doing trying to find this guy. Babysitting me is probably affecting your businesses, and who knows when was the last time you had sex—”
“Stop it.”
My eyes snap to his face at the gruffness of his voice. That’s the harshest he’s spoken to me in a long time.
“Just stop it. I’m not doing anything I haven’t done before. How do you think I got the name ‘Reaper’? I kill people, Raven. I got so fucking good at it that everyone saw fit to give me the name that personifies death. I’m not the monster under the bed. Monsters check under their beds for me.” He closes his eyes, trying to rein in his anger but when he opens them, it’s still there. “My businesses are fine. That’s why I hire people. And don’t even mention sex to me. That’s the last thing on my mind right now.”
That was a stupid thing for me to say. Why would sex be on his mind? It’s not like I’m at my most desirable. He slides his palm to the back of my neck, closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath. When he opens them, the anger is gone.
“You wouldn’t be here if I didn’t care about you. I’m going to find this guy and I’m going to help you through this, no matter what. We’ll come out on the other side and move on with our lives. You want me to be happy? Make me happy, because I won’t be if I don’t have you.”
“Gage....”
There’s no holding them back now. Tears stream down my cheeks as his words flow through me. After everything, he still thinks I can make him happy. How can I when I’m a miserable shell of the girl I o
nce was? Is it even possible to be her again?
I go rigid as he presses a gentle kiss to my lips. Since I was in the hospital, all I’ve gotten are forehead or cheek kisses. I don’t even know how to respond to his lips on mine. He doesn’t push me, though, only kissing my forehead before heading to the bathroom. Stopping in the doorway, he turns to me.
“You’re not going anywhere, Raven… and neither am I.”
I stare at the closed bathroom door and contemplate his words. He thinks we can get through this and be like we were before. That’s never going to happen. Things will never be the same between us.
There’s a knock at the door and I turn my attention there. Usually, I’d let it go unanswered. They’d get the message that Gage isn’t here or is unavailable and leave after a while. This time, though, I answer it. Tek steps back, obviously a little shocked. He recovers quickly and gives me a big smile.
“It’s been too long since I’ve seen that beautiful face.”
“Hi, Tek.” I give him a weak smile. “He’s in the shower. You want to come in and wait?”
Again, he’s taken aback, but he nods and steps past me. He grabs the chair in the corner, turns it backward, and straddles it.
“How are you, baby girl?”
“Okay, I guess. What have you been up to?”
“Oh, you know… hacking into systems I shouldn’t be. Same ol’ same ol’.”
I climb back into bed, careful not to flash him. Panties and one of Gage’s T-shirts have become my permanent wardrobe. Gage moved all my stuff from Lonnie’s a while back, but it was pointless. I haven’t worn any of my clothes. My kindle and MP3 player sit unused. He bought me a new phone because the guy who attacked me smashed mine to pieces, but it also sits idly on the nightstand. I haven’t even turned it on. He set up my art equipment in a corner of the room, but that’s been untouched, too.
Tek keeps a close eye on me, no doubt gauging my mood. “How’s your shoulder?” he asks.
“Better.”
“Good.” He taps his fingers on the chair, filling the awkward silence.
I can tell he doesn’t know which way to tread with me. I’m about to try and put him at ease when Gage steps out of the bathroom. He’s wearing a pair of those sexy boxers I love, so I wait for the flutter in my belly, the clenching of my muscles, but nothing happens. I sigh deeply and look away. I can tell he’s shocked to see Tek, but he doesn’t comment.
“You got something?” he addresses Tek.
“Yeah. But we gotta move fast. Razor already left with the guys. Told him where to meet up.”
“Five minutes.”
“Got it.” He springs out of the chair and heads for the door. “See you around, baby girl.”
“Bye, Tek.”
Gage moves to his closet and begins pulling out clothes—black jeans, black shirt, and black shoes. When he slides on his cut and covers it with a black hoodie, I know he’s off to do what he says he does best. Gage may have walked out of the bathroom, but it’s Reaper leaving the clubhouse tonight. He grabs a black duffel bag out of the closet and drops it on the bed.
“I’ll be back as soon as I can, but don’t wait up.”
Noticing the apprehension in my eyes, he takes both my hands in his, and kisses my knuckles.
“Be careful,” I whisper.
“I will. The prospects will be here if you need anything.”
Then, he’s gone. Anxiety eats away at me until I can’t take it anymore. I don’t want to be alone right now. I pull on a pair of his boxers and head out to find the prospects. The blonde trick who was all up on Gage is behind the bar. She watches me with disdain as I pass, but I ignore her. Ron and Booker are on the couch smoking, two Hounds hanging off them. When Ron sees me approaching, he shoos away the one next to him. I raise a brow at him, wondering what Chrissy would do with this bit of information. Then again, they may not even be together anymore. Some best friend I am. Gage gives me messages from her, but I haven’t spoken to her. Not even a damn text. I need to fix that.
“Hi,” I say as I stand before him awkwardly.
“Hey.”
I really don’t know what else to say to him, but he instantly puts me at ease with an outstretched hand. I curl up next to him and he places his arm around my shoulder. As I settle into his embrace, he offers me his joint. I take a long, hard look at it and think why not? Maybe it will give me a little vacation from my own head.
I accept it, place it between my lips, and take a deep puff.
***Gage***
Raven consumes my thoughts as we ride. We finally tracked down the man responsible for the drug they used on her. They call it Dutch Wife, after a fucking sex doll. After all, that’s essentially what it does—turns a woman into a human sex doll. My hands tighten on the handle bars as my anger rises. Not a minute goes by that I don’t think about her lying there helpless, being used and abused. With all my talk of keeping her safe, I didn’t. I told her my name would protect her and it did the opposite. It got her hurt. I got her hurt. The least I can do is find the people responsible and make them pay. I have The Pharmacist in my sights, and there’s no way he’s living to see another sunrise.
Tek and I meet up with the others at the rendezvous point and I hop off my bike. I give Razor a chin lift and he walks up to me.
“Scoped it out. Seems to be a warehouse. Could be a lab, too, with the smell coming out of it. Got two men on the perimeter, two loading a truck, and the truck driver. Don’t know how many on the inside, but your guy went in fifteen minutes ago.”
I nod and grab my duffel bag, unzipping it without a word. I hand out gloves, radios, throat mics, and night vision goggles. They all know the drill. Each man reaches into the bag, grabbing extra mags. I tuck my Glock into the back of my jeans, strap another to one ankle, my knife to the other. Razor and I pull out our rifles—SRS A-1 Coverts. I love this baby. It’s compact, accurate, and has a thousand-yard capability. I attach the thermal vision scope and suppressor, and then look around at my guys.
“Ready?” They all nod. “Let’s go.”
This place is in the middle of the woods. I don’t even know how Tek found it, but I learned to stop questioning his methods a long time ago. We approach carefully, cloaked in darkness. Even the moon decided to stay hidden tonight. We may just be a group of bikers, but we move with the precision of a SEAL team. Once the front of the building is in sight, I signal to Motor.
“See if there are any other ways in.”
The place looks unassuming, if not out of place. It’s nothing but a big barn, at least on the outside. Who knows what’s on the inside. I put on my goggles and take everything in quickly. It’s just like Razor said. I can take out the men on patrol easily enough; the others are a little tricky. The driver is behind the wheel. If he falls forward, he lands on the horn, alerting everyone. The other two are behind the box truck and are mostly obscured by it. We get a break when the driver hops out of the truck and heads toward the woods while saying he’s going to take a piss. I send Crow in his direction. This just might work out. I probably won’t even need the rifle.
One of the men patrolling realizes the driver hasn’t returned and tells the other he’s going to check it out. I alert Crow so he can handle it, then I toss a rock, drawing the attention of the other man. He jerks his gun up, pointing it where the rock landed before heading in that direction. I send Venom to handle him while Razor and I move to take out the men loading the truck. We use the truck to our advantage, hiding our approach, catching them with their backs turned. I grab one, snapping his neck in one fluid move. Razor takes his time, choking out the other. Motor’s voice comes through in my ear.
“Found a way in the back, boss. Got six on the inside, including our guy.”
“Weapons?”
“Nothing visible. They’re just talking.”
“Razor, Venom, you’re with me. Crow, Allah, you’re with Motor. We’ll come at them from both sides. Tek, cut the lights on my say.”
Ra
zor and Venom look to me for instruction once the others leave. “Once Tek cuts the lights, Razor, we take out the straddlers. Briggs is mine.”
Tek comes on the radio, telling me he’s in place.
“Motor, we’re going in blind. What’s Briggs’ position?”
“He’s the biggest motherfucker in the room, boss. Can’t miss him.”
I tie my bandana over my nose and mouth while Razor and Venom do the same. Like thieves in the night, we move through the entrance. Just like I suspected, this is no barn. We enter a long corridor and I hear voices ahead. There are stacks of boxes just outside the corridor we can use to our advantage. I signal the men and we all drop down, crawling into the room, hiding behind the boxes. I take a careful peek over them to assess the situation. With all the equipment in this place, it has to be his lab. Briggs is in the middle of the group of men, a huge grin on his face. Not for long.
“Briggs is in the middle,” I tell Razor. “You take the two on the left, I got the rest. Motor, stand down.” Looks like I’ll get to use the SRS after all. “Let’s go night-night, Tek.”
The second the room goes dark, Razor and I move into position. I hear Briggs tell one of his men to check the breaker. He only takes one step before Venom drops him. I line up the others in my scope and take them out before Briggs can finish asking what’s going on.
“Tek, let there be light.”
He cuts the lights back on and I rise to my feet, moving toward Briggs with my gun pointed at him.
“Hands where I can see ’em,” I tell him.
He does as he’s told but has a condescending smirk on his face. I can’t wait to get my hands on him. Venom pats him down, taking a Desert Eagle from a shoulder holster.
“I want my lawyer,” he states as I place my gun and goggles on a nearby table.
“You think we’re cops?” I ask. “Think again.” I get in his face and pull my bandana down so he can see mine. “I’m your worst fucking nightmare.”
All the guys are gathered now and Briggs looks around nervously. Razor pulls cable ties from his pocket while Crow grabs a chair. As they tie him down, Briggs starts rambling about us not knowing who he is and what he can do to us. I remove my gloves, take a look at Raven’s name on my knuckles, and then punch him in the mouth to shut him up. It works.
RAGE: President & First Lady Of The Death Dealers MC Page 33
