“What’s going on?”
“Chopper,” Gage answers. “He’s preparing for Thanksgiving tomorrow.”
Thanksgiving? That would mean it’s November. Not only that but the end of November. Holy shit. What have I been doing for a whole month? I missed Halloween, Dia de los Muertos… I didn’t even light a candle for Daddy.
Chopper comes out of the kitchen, giving out directions left and right. The moment he spots me, he comes right over and pulls me into his arms.
“Oh, lil darlin’. It’s good to see you.”
“You, too, Chopper.”
“Come.” He ushers me away. “Let’s get you something to eat.”
He doesn’t even spare Gage a glance. I turn my head to look back at him, but he just shakes his head and moves toward the door. In the kitchen, Chopper chases everyone out and lifts me onto the counter. I’m a little surprised but I say nothing.
“What do you want?” he asks. “Pancakes, eggs, bacon? Anything you want.”
“I’m not really hungry.” I return his smile. “Toast would be fine.”
“Nonsense.” He grabs a tray of eggs from the fridge. “I’ll make you an omelet.”
I watch him, wondering if he knows how alike he and his son are. They each have their own brand of “sweet,” but I would bet Chopper was as much of a player as Gage is. Hell, he probably still is.
He pours me a glass of orange juice then gets started on the eggs.
“How do you feel, darlin’?”
I raise both shoulders in a shrug. “Okay, I guess. I just want it all to be over.”
“Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.” He turns to face me with a determined stare. “If Gage can’t get to the bottom of this then I will. You have my word on that.”
Overcome with emotion, I hop off the counter and wrap my arms around him. He curls one arm around me and kisses the top of my head.
“It’ll be over soon, baby girl.”
“Thanks, Chopper.”
Gage walks in, brows drawn together. I detach myself from his dad and transfer to his arms.
“You okay?” he asks.
I nod into his chest. “Are you leaving now?”
“Yeah. Just came in to let you know.”
“I’ll walk you out.”
He takes my hand and I follow him outside, ignoring the curious stares of the other women. I really don’t know any of them except for Deena and the blonde. I guess they all want to know what’s going on with the girl who was raped. I keep my head down and let Gage lead the way. Out in the courtyard, the guys are propped on their bikes waiting. They all smile when they see me approaching; except Tek, who’s off by himself, immersed in something on a laptop. I release Gage’s hand and stand in the middle of what’s supposed to be a group of big, scary bikers.
“I just want to say thank you. I know you guys are out there doing whatever it is you’re doing for me. I really appreciate it.”
Allah is closest to me, so I hug him first. “Ain’t nothin’ to it, shawty,” he says in a low voice.
I give each of them a hug and they all echo the sentiment in their own words. When I get to Razor, he picks me up in a bear hug and gives me a squeeze. He places me back on my feet and I make my way over to Gage. He’s sitting on his bike, observing me. Draping his arm around my waist, he pulls me close. His right hand is resting on the handlebar and I cringe at the cuts and bruises on his knuckles.
“Be careful.”
“Always, doll. I’ll see you later.”
With a jerk of his head, he motions toward the gates and I turn to see Chrissy walking in. I wave to her and she takes off running. Gage releases me and I meet her halfway. I don’t think anyone has ever hugged me so tightly. She might just cut off my air supply.
“Ray! God, I’ve missed you.”
“I missed you, too.”
She pulls back and looks me up and down. “You look good. How do you feel?”
“Better.”
“I’m so glad you texted. I was worried.”
“I know. I’m sorry, I just—”
“You don’t have to explain. Come on, I need to get you inside.”
“Why?”
“Because,” she says. “You’re half-nekkid and barefoot.”
I look down and see she’s right. Gage’s T-shirt pretty much covers me up but other than panties, I’m not wearing anything else. I’m surprised he didn’t say something. Walking back to the clubhouse, the guys pass us on their way out. I wave to Gage and he smiles at me. I hope he has good news when he returns.
After I have my breakfast Chopper made me, Chrissy and I lock ourselves in Gage’s room. We catch up and call Toni. I appreciate the fact that she hasn’t dwelled on the reason we haven’t seen each other. In fact, she hasn’t even mentioned the rape or asked what I’ve been doing—only how I’ve been doing. Toni was the same. I realize I have two of the best friends anyone could ever ask for. Instead of locking myself away from everyone, maybe I should have been doing the opposite.
“Have you spoken to your mother?”
“No. I should probably call her. I’ve missed Dani.”
“Do it,” she encourages me. “Skype them.”
With a deep breath, I grab my phone, download Skype, and sign in. When Laurelyn answers, I can see she’s both surprised and happy.
“Raven! It’s so good to see you. How are you?”
“I’m okay. Sorry it took me so long.”
“I’ve missed you, but I understand.”
“How are you?” I ask.
“Oh, I’m fine. Just making dinner.”
“Dani?”
“She’s in her playroom. Let me get her.”
The little girl lets out an excited scream when Laurelyn tells her I’m on the phone. She puts a smile on my face the moment I see her toothless grin.
“Raven!” she shrieks.
“Hey, pumpkin.”
“I missed you. Mommy said you weren’t feeling well because of your accident. Are you better now?”
“I am. I promise I won’t stay away so long anymore.”
“Do you want to see my dolls?”
She chatters away for a while before Laurelyn takes the phone from her. She goes back to the kitchen, telling me she wants to talk to me about something.
“Raven, I was wondering… if you’d like to come out for a visit.”
“Maybe. I’ll think about it.”
“Please. If you like it, maybe you’d consider… moving in?”
“You want me to live with you?” I ask, astonished.
“I do. I was planning on asking you when I came to Georgia but with everything that happened, I decided to give you some time.”
“I mean… I love Miami and I miss it sometimes, but my life is here now.”
Or maybe it isn’t such a bad idea. I could have a fresh start, remove myself and my drama out of Gage’s life. I could give him a fresh start, too. Could I do it? Could I leave him?
“Just think about it,” Laurelyn urges.
“I will.”
She gives me an optimistic smile before I say my goodbyes and end the call.
“Would you go back?”
“I don’t know,” I answer Chrissy’s question. “Maybe.”
“Do you think Gage would let you leave?”
“Honestly, I think he’d try to stop me. But it’s my decision.”
“Yeah. Keep telling yourself that. Even if you managed to leave, he’d probably drag your ass back.”
“You’re right. It can’t hurt to visit, though. Besides, if I wanted to move back, I have Daddy’s house. That way, I can be close to them but still have my own space.”
“True.” She looks around the room then back at me with a deep frown. “Is that your stuff?” She points to my two suitcases leaning on the wall.
Gage said he was leaving the unpacking to me, but I never got past underwear. Chrissy jumps up and starts going through the cases.
“I’ll unpa
ck, you make space in the closet.”
“I don’t know. Gage has a lot of clothes. I have two drawers that are pretty empty. We could put some stuff in those.”
“Closet,” she says in a stern voice.
“Okay. Jeez.”
I open the closet, and just like I expected, there’s not much room for anything. I push his clothes to one side and consider the space.
“Maybe we can a fit a few dresses in here. The rest we’ll have to put in the drawers.”
“Shoes?”
Dropping to my knees, I start re-arranging his shoes to make room. That’s when I see the gift-wrapped box in the far corner. I wonder what it is. Could it be the birthday present he told me he was going to pick up the day of my party? If it was for me, he would have given it to me already, right? Even though curiosity is killing me, I leave it alone. I’m not going to snoop in his stuff.
We put away as much of my belongings as we can and fall back into bed. Before I can get comfortable, Chrissy grabs my hand and pulls me up and into the bathroom.
“In.” She points to the bath. “Sit.”
“Okay, Miss Bossy. And I thought Gage was bad. What are you doing?”
She’s on her knees, rifling through the cabinet. She pulls out a bag of disposable razors and a can of shaving cream then sits on the edge of the bath.
“Legs.”
“You’re going to shave my legs?”
“Honey, have you looked at them lately?”
I take one look at them and give in. “You gonna shave my cooch, too?” I joke. “Haven’t done that, either.”
She raises her brows. “Depends. Anyone gonna see it?”
“Not anytime soon.”
“You okay… down there?”
“Yeah. I’m all healed. It’s more of an emotional thing.”
“I understand. I’m sure he does, too. Take your time. Work on this at your own pace. He’s waited this long, a little more time won’t kill him.”
“I’m going to see a therapist. Hopefully, she can help me.”
“That’s a good start. But now, let’s take care of the small things—legs first then your hair. All the color’s gone. Don’t worry, you’ll be your old self in no time.”
I hope so, not just for my sake but for Gage’s. After everything he’s done, everything he’s planning to do, he deserves it. He said I’m “better,” but he deserves the best. And that’s what I want to give him. I’ll get my shit sorted out and be the best damn girlfriend he could ever want.
CHAPTER 9
***Gage***
Fuck, I’m tired. All this running around plus no sleep is finally catching up to me. Atlanta was a total bust. The guys we found there didn’t know much. They weren’t even expecting a shipment of Dutch Wife. The guy in charge said the drug was still in its development stage and wasn’t ready for distribution. How did a drug that’s not even on the streets yet end up in Raven’s system? This puts me at a dead end, unless Tek can get into Briggs’ files. He’s been working on that laptop all day and I haven’t heard a peep out of him.
I drop my duffel in the closet and begin to undress. I better take a shower before I find Raven. Ron said the girls have been helping Chopper and Nita in the kitchen. At least she’s not cooped up in here. That’s a step forward. While looking for something to wear, I notice dresses next to my shirts. I let the material of one slip through my fingers. I like seeing them there. I like having her in my space. Right now, it may not be the way I pictured it would be, but it feels good. It feels right.
I head into the shower and find her waiting for me in the bedroom when I get out. She’s obviously on edge, pacing and chewing on her thumbnail.
“You’re back.”
“Yeah. I was gonna come find you after—”
“How’d it go? What happened?”
I walk to the closet, unable to look her in the eyes. “Not much. There was nothing there.”
“Nothing? What do you mean ‘nothing’?
Turning to face her, I hang my head in disappointment. “I’m sorry, Raven. It was a dead end.”
She starts to hyperventilate. Fuck.
“Dead end? You promised me you’d find him. You promised!”
I move toward her but she pulls away in anger, staring daggers at me.
“What have you been doing all this time? This guy could be in Timbuktu by now for all we know. It’s been over a month and all you can tell me is that you hit a dead end?”
“Lower your voice.”
“I will not lower my voice!” she screams.
“You’re pissed, I get it. But so am I, and I’m not shouting at you.”
“What do you have to be angry about? That you won’t be my first anymore?”
That stung. I know it’s her anger talking, but it doesn’t hurt any less. “I’m pissed because it’s my fault!” I shout. “I’m the reason this happened to you!”
“You keep saying that. Why? What did you do? What do you know that I don’t?”
“I promised you I’d protect you and I didn’t. You got hurt because some motherfucker thought it was the best way to hurt me. You may have been the one attacked, but I have to live with the fact that it happened on my watch and I couldn’t stop it.”
“Bullshit!”
“You think this is about sex?” I ask. “I could have had you at the snap of my fingers if I wanted to. How many times did you beg me to fuck you, huh? You were practically throwing your pussy at me.”
Her expression changes. That’s when I know I’ve fucked up. She narrows her eyes and her body begins to vibrate. Her fingers curl into fists at her sides and she stomps her foot. Without warning, she launches herself at me with a scream.
“Motherfucker!”
She lets loose, pummeling my chest with her fists. I try to grab her hands without hurting her but she starts to kick, too.
“How dare you! How could you say that?”
I finally manage to subdue her, turning her around and pulling her against me. She squirms, trying to get away.
“Let me go. Don’t touch me, you bastard!”
“Calm down.”
“Don’t tell me what to do, asshole. Would you rather I throw my pussy at you?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry, babe.”
“You meant it and you can’t take it back.”
“I’m going to let you go, but you have to promise you won’t start hitting me again.”
“I’m not promising anything, fuck boy. Let me the fuck go.”
Boy, she can really come up with insults when she’s ticked off. I’ve gone from bastard to asshole to fuck boy in the space of a few seconds.
“Raven, stop.” She goes still in my arms. “I’m going to let you go now, okay?”
She doesn’t answer, but I take her silence for consent. I slowly release my hold on her and she pulls away as soon as she’s able to. She’s back to staring at me again like she wants to kill me. She has all this pent-up anger and I think I know a way to help her release it.
“I have an idea,” I tell her. “Will you go somewhere with me?”
“Why would I go anywhere with you?” She crosses her arms on her chest.
“I promise it’ll be good for you.”
“No.”
“Please.”
“No.”
“Babe… please.”
“Fine.” She gives me a dirty look then cuts her eyes. “I’ll go, but I won’t like it.”
I finish getting dressed then lead her out to the Mustang. She drags her feet the entire way then stares out the window once we’re in the car. Trying to get back on her good side, I stop at Sweet Treats and buy her the strawberry cheese pastries she loves. She takes the container with a sideways glance then goes back to ignoring me while she eats. I leave her to her thoughts because I don’t want to set her off again. When we arrive at our destination, I pull into a parking spot and open her door, watching as she steps out reluctantly.
“Why di
d you bring me here?”
“You’ll see.”
I try to take her hand but she brushes me off, so I give her some space. After opening the door, I step inside and turn on the lights before I allow her in. She looks around in confusion, arms folded on her chest once more.
“I repeat, why did you bring me here?”
It’s a gun store. Razor’s, to be exact. All the members get a share of the Pretty Kitty and the auto parts store, but I encourage them all to have their own things going on. Razor’s thing is guns.
“This way.” I motion for her to follow me and take her through the door that leads to the back where there’s a shooting range. I have a locker here where I keep a few guns and extra ammo for when I want to let off some steam and the punching bag doesn’t help. I grab a mag and set up a target, then hand her a pair of ear muffs. She’s still giving me the evil eye, but she accepts it and puts it on. I swap out the mags, placing the extra one on the bench, and hand her my Glock. The way she’s feeling right now, I pray to God she doesn’t shoot me. She takes it, weighing it in her hand as she stares down at it.
“Thirty-three rounds. Just let it go.”
She takes one last look at me then turns toward the target. It doesn’t take her ten seconds to line up. She doesn’t swing her ass from side to side like I’ve seen most women do, just gets right down to it. Her ass does look amazing, though. She’s wearing shorts, so I also notice she’s shaved her legs. I know this isn’t the appropriate time, but seeing her standing there with my gun? Fucking sexy as hell. Then I see the scars on her legs. She’ll have those reminders for the rest of her life. I clench my jaw then take a deep breath. Tonight is about her anger, not mine.
I put on my ear muffs as she chambers a round, watching as she unloads the mag into the target. She releases the empty mag and replaces it without missing a beat. That one only has seventeen rounds, so she empties it in half the time. The slide locks but she releases it and stands there, aiming at the target.
“Raven—”
She spins to face me, racks the slide, points the gun in the center of my forehead, and presses the trigger. Her breathing is labored and there are tears streaming down her cheeks. When she realizes what she’s done, she gasps, ripping off the muffs. After removing mine, I take the gun from her carefully, and place it on the bench before she collapses in my arms. Her body shakes from her sobs as she throws her arms around me, clutching the back of my shirt.
RAGE: President & First Lady Of The Death Dealers MC Page 35
