by Anita Oh
Tennyson? I asked, but my words echoed back to me, as if I was speaking into a void.
I started to run.
Chapter 2
I ran back down the path faster than I’d ever moved before, faster than I’d even known I was capable of. It felt as if the entire world had stopped and I was rushing through it toward an immovable point that had somehow blinked out.
The four of them were standing in front of the gate to the Golden House, waiting for me. As soon as I caught sight of Tennyson, I stumbled to a stop. He was fine. He was totally okay.
I wrapped my arms around my belly, sure I was going to throw up.
He caught my eye and smirked at me, and for that one single moment, I didn’t care that he was in danger. I didn’t care what my father planned to do to him. I’d kill him myself.
“Lucy…” Sam said, taking a step toward me.
Althea caught him by the arm, shaking her head. “They need to sort this out themselves,” she said, turning him and Nikolai toward the house.
But that wasn’t what I needed at all. What I needed was to get out of there, as far away from that jerk as possible.
I turned away from them toward the forest. In the clearing behind the Golden House was a tree. There were a lot of trees, obviously, a whole forest of them, but this tree was special. I’d made that tree myself, with magic. I’d made it to save Tennyson. I’d made it when we’d bonded together. And even though Tennyson was the king of the jerks, something about that tree made me feel better. I walked right up to it and rested my forehead against the cool, smooth trunk.
Why couldn’t I have bonded with Sam? Everything would have been perfect then. I cared about Sam, and I wouldn’t have minded him being all up in my thoughts and feelings. Sam would never use the bond against me to prove a point, like Tennyson was doing. If it were Sam and I, I’d never have to worry about him hiding things from me again. We’d be in sync, understanding each other perfectly. Sam and I were the same, but Tennyson was someone I’d never be able to fathom.
Just being near the tree made me feel calmer. The tree had come from me, and I could feel that we were still connected somehow. Its power was my power, and although I didn’t really get it, I knew that the tree was different, more aware than it should be.
“You can’t believe anything she says,” Tennyson said from behind me, jolting me out of my thoughts.
I didn’t turn around. “Leave me alone, Tennyson.”
He sighed. “And what good will that do? If I leave you alone, you’ll become even less disciplined than you are now. If you’re going to be in this pack, you need to work as a part of it. When you meet my mother, if she doesn’t approve you, if you fail her evaluation, do you have any idea what will become of you then?”
I had absolutely no idea, but it didn’t matter. By the time the Wilde Pack Alpha had time in her busy schedule to meet me, I probably wouldn’t even be a lycanthrope anymore. I hadn’t told Tennyson, and he hadn’t sensed it. Whatever I was, whatever that gene was that had been triggered in me, it wasn’t lycanthropy. It was something totally different. I only vaguely understood it, but I’d keep changing, first a wolf, then something else, then something else. And when it stopped, I’d be a different creature entirely, and I didn’t think it would be something good.
There wasn’t a lot of information about that kind of thing. Even though I’d looked, trying to find some way to stop it before I became something I didn’t want to be, it was hard to find anything without letting the pack know what I was doing — Althea, especially, was sharp about that kind of thing and would work it out. I just wanted to enjoy my time as a werewolf, to make the most of it while I could. And I knew Tennyson wouldn’t understand any of that. I should tell him, I knew I should, but he’d react badly, and I had enough going on without dealing with his feelings. It was easier for him if we were the same. The bond wasn’t such a burden for him. There was no point telling him now and making him worry when I had no clue when it might happen. But it made it hard to feel as if I was really part of the pack when I knew it was only temporary.
“You need to start taking this seriously.”
“Maybe you should start taking threats against your life seriously,” I said, turning to face him. I rested my back against the tree, not quite ready to lose that comfort just yet. The cold emptiness, the terror of not being able to sense Tennyson still echoed deep in my chest. “I know you don’t trust Katie, but she has no reason to lie about this. My father is coming for you.”
He shook his head. “I’m sure she has a reason, even if you don’t know what it is. She could be trying to divert your attention or throw you off-track. Whatever your father is planning, I can look after myself. Can you say the same? Can you be sure you wouldn’t be the one putting me in danger because you don’t know how to handle yourself?”
His words made me see red. The accusation that I’d ever do anything to endanger him, or any of the pack, was so uncalled for. All I’d ever tried to do was protect them.
Without intending to, I stepped away from the tree, toward him. I needed to do something to make him understand, to make him see that he was wrong, but his mind was closed to me. The calm of the tree seemed to retreat from my veins, and the wildness of the lycanthropy flooded through me, as if I was being bathed in it from the inside out. It felt as if I was breaking chains that had held me down for too long, as if I were a helium balloon and someone had let go of my string. I let myself float away with it. I was free.
Tennyson was suddenly right there. In my face and in my mind.
Come back, he demanded. Stop being so selfish and irresponsible and get ahold of yourself.
I heard his words, but they meant nothing. He had no right to tell me what to do, to try to control me. He wasn’t my master. I pushed him away, my clawed hands scratching at his shoulder.
At the sight of his blood, blooming red across the whiteness of his shirt, I came back to myself with a thud. I stared at the spot with horrified eyes. Already, he’d begun to heal, but that didn’t change the fact that I’d hurt him only moments after being outraged that he’d think I could.
“Come on, now,” he said, reaching to take hold of my arm, but I couldn’t be around him.
I turned and fled into the forest.
I transformed into a wolf and ran through the trees, forgetting all my human problems. I couldn’t really afford to miss more classes, but what did that matter when there were so many new scents to explore? The pack bond was stronger when I was a wolf, but that was okay. That meant that my bond with Tennyson was less intense. The pack were all fine, going about their daily business, so I could push them to the back of my mind and let my instincts take over.
What was Tennyson complaining about, anyway? I was awesome at this. Just because he couldn’t werewolf good, he had to bring me down with him. I chased a butterfly through the forest, snapping my teeth at it as it flew out of my reach. Everything felt so pure, so uncomplicated, but there was a part of me that held back. I knew that if I let go completely, I’d fall into that wildness, and I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to return.
I couldn’t avoid my human problems forever, so eventually I went back to the house to shower and get ready for school.
Being a wolf hadn’t helped anything. As soon as I transformed back, the same feelings returned, as if I’d just hit the pause button on them. I was angry at Tennyson and angry at myself, but everything was in such a jumble inside of me that I couldn’t tell where one feeling ended and another began.
I arrived at class just in time for third period and sat through math in a grump, not hearing a word that Mrs. Godinski said. The more I thought about things, the angrier I became. Tennyson had no right to be so patronizing. It was as if he was purposely trying to antagonize me so that I’d fail. He could’ve been supportive and helpful, but instead he was a jerk, just like he was always a jerk about everything ever. The thoughts chased themselves around and around in my head, and I got madder and madd
er, sitting there and stewing over them. My hands itched, wanting to transform into claws, and I could feel the pressure of the fangs against my gums.
Things got no better in fourth period, so I decided to skip lunch. I could go back to the Red House and grab something small to eat from the common area. Even though I’d be starving by the end of the day, that was better than having to sit there surrounded by people who hated me. Better than having to be around Tennyson and his judgey eyebrows.
The halls were packed with the push of everyone moving toward the dining hall. I wasn’t claustrophobic, but it made me feel hemmed in, caged. The wildness inside of me wanted to claw my way out of there, to rip and tear at anything in its way until it was free. It scared me, but at the same time, I wanted to give in to it. I could just let loose, Wolverine-style, and maybe that feeling would be soothed for a while.
At the point where the science hallway opened out onto the main hallway, the movement of the crowd came to a standstill, and I found myself stuck behind two massive guys. Having werewolf senses in a crowd of teenage boys wasn’t the most fun thing ever.
“I’m starving,” one of the tall guys said. The other grunted in response.
They were too big for me to push past, even if we hadn’t all been crammed in like sardines. People were talking and laughing and squealing in a cacophony that made my head spin. But even amongst all that, my werewolf hearing honed right in on the two girls whispering to each other, just the other side of the wall of tall guys. Olivia Hearst and Charlotte Du Pont, the two biggest Tennyson fangirls in the school.
“She’s unbelievable, seriously,” Olivia said. “Look, I’ve got some pictures on my phone. Do you see that? She’s absolutely shameless.”
I sighed. I wasn’t surprised she was bad-mouthing some other girl. That seemed to be the only way she could relate to other people.
“Wait. Why are they sneaking off into the forest?” Charlotte asked. “They’ve got that whole big house.”
I started to get a very bad feeling.
“I don’t even want to know,” said Olivia. “But if you keep looking, she sneaks off with Sam as well. I think she’s two-timing them.”
There was a brief pause while Charlotte obviously flicked through the pictures, then Olivia continued.
“It’s obvious what she’s doing. She’s wormed her way in with the Golden so she can get her money-grubbing little paws all over their fortune.”
At the word “paws”, my heart leapt. Olivia had been spying on us. She’d probably been spying on Tennyson for a long time. She might know things that she had no business knowing.
The crowd began shuffling forward again, but I needed to hear more. I had to find out how much they knew. I maneuvered myself so I’d stay close to them as the crowd moved forward.
“Cheap girls like that have ways to get what they want,” Olivia said. “And I’m not just talking about the obvious.”
I strained to hear what she would say next, wondering what she meant. Did she know about witchcraft? It wouldn’t be that surprising; some pretty weird stuff went on at this school. But if I knew witchcraft, I’d do something way cooler with it than hanging out with Tennyson Wilde. Like, find some way not to hang out with him, for a start. And also, cakes.
“And, I mean, nobody’s talking about it, but something happened to her old roommate.”
My heart froze. They couldn’t possibly think I’d hurt Hannah. I was doing my best to find her, with the limited resources at my disposal. That was on a whole other level from them thinking I was banging half the Golden.
“That’s not fair,” said a third voice. Fatima. “She’s as worried about Hannah as anyone.”
“Oh, I forgot,” said Olivia. “You’re friends with the little troll, aren’t you?”
“We’re not friends,” Fatima said. “But I have had a conversation with her, unlike you.”
“She hurt you in class,” said Charlotte.
“She was obviously having some sort of fit or something,” said Fatima. She sounded exasperated, and I was pretty sure it wasn’t the first time they’d had this conversation. A bit of the anger in my heart faded and turned into gratitude. “And even if she’s unstable or whatever, I doubt she’s an actual danger to anyone but herself. Think what you like about her, but if you say she did anything to Hannah, then you’re oversimplifying things and implying we should give up on finding Hannah.”
“Whatever,” said Olivia, who obviously didn’t care about Hannah one bit. “At any rate, that girl is dangerous and a clear example of why we shouldn’t let her kind into the school.”
I really hoped that by her kind, she meant scholarship kids and not kids with genetic mutations. Though either way wasn’t really okay.
“I’m going to set up some stricter surveillance on her and on the Golden House. If I have some concrete proof of what she’s doing, I can take it to the headmistress. But even without that, I have a plan…”
Before I could hear her plan, someone grabbed me by the arm and pulled me outside. They pushed me up against the wall, and I struck out, ready to fight. They caught me by the wrist, and I looked up.
It was Althea.
“What are you doing?” she asked me. “You were half-transformed in the hallway. Look at yourself.”
She pulled a compact mirror out of her pocket and held it up to my face. My eyes were glowing, and my fangs were clearly visible.
“Lucky you’re so short. I don’t think anyone else noticed. We need to find some way to work this out, though. We can’t rely on luck forever.”
I stared at my reflection, feeling oddly displaced, as if it were a stranger staring back at me. Althea was right. Tennyson was right. I couldn’t keep on like this. Even if I wasn’t going to stay a wolf forever, I had to learn how to control it in the short term, or else I really would become a monster.
Chapter 3
I just wanted to be alone, but Althea thought that was a bad idea.
“We get our strength from the pack,” she said. “Once you learn to accept that, I think everything else will come much more easily for you. But if you’d prefer to be with one of the others, I’ll help you find them.”
I shrugged. I’d actually rather hang out with Althea than any of the others. She wasn’t annoying like Tennyson and Nikolai, and she wasn’t complicated like Sam. But I figured if I could give her the slip, I could have some time to myself. That was a rare thing lately. Even when I was alone, Tennyson was in my head.
We walked slowly together back toward the Golden House.
“Don’t you want to eat lunch?” I asked her.
She shrugged. “I’m fine. We can get something at the house, if you like.”
She smiled at me. I tried to smile back, but my fangs were still out. Althea had always been so kind to me, and she was just trying to help now. I knew I was being a jerk, but I couldn’t seem to help it.
“I’m sorry I can’t be more helpful,” she said. “Only Sam has been through something like this before, and he had my mother and the other adults in the pack to help. They didn’t even let us near him for a lot of it. I know the circumstances are different, but I wish I knew how to help more. I told Tennyson we should contact Mother for advice, but he won’t hear of it, and I can understand why. You’ve met her, so you know she’s not exactly the most indulgent person, especially in regards to pack matters.”
Althea sighed.
“It’s okay,” I told her. “I’ll get the hang of it. It’s just…”
I didn’t want to bad-mouth her own twin brother to her, but it would’ve been a lot easier without Tennyson second-guessing me constantly. I could feel her amusement through the pack bond.
“I know he’s not the easiest person to deal with. It’s hard enough being his twin. I can’t imagine having him in my head as well. In his own way, he’s trying to show that he cares.”
Knowing that didn’t make him easier to deal with, though.
“I’m sorry you’re stuck babysitti
ng me,” I told her. “I know it’s not exactly fun.”
She elbowed me in the side. “Right, because trying to eat while Nikolai is monologuing about his ranking of senior girls is way better.”
I laughed as we reached the gates of the Golden House and Althea scanned us in. It made me think of something.
“That girl, Olivia Hearst, I think she’s really dangerous,” I said as we walked through the gates. I explained to Althea what I’d overheard.
Althea paused as we got to the front door. “That might work out in our favor,” she said. “It gives us an excuse to upgrade security without it being in relation to your father and his organization.” Her smile suddenly became wider. “Don’t think that I don’t want to ‘babysit’ you, but maybe you should head around back by yourself for a while?”
I started to ask her why, but she shook her head. I sensed that she wanted me to feel for myself why she’d said it, so I closed my eyes and reached out. It barely took me a second to realize what she meant, and that warm feeling that I associated with Sam wrapped around me like a blanket. When I opened my eyes to look at her, I could feel the blush spreading across my cheeks.
“Go on,” said Althea. “He knows how to help you better than I do.”
It felt like a major jerk move to ditch her for a boy, but she just laughed and pushed me off the step.
“Seriously,” she said. “This way, I can go take a nap and blame it on you.”
Maybe she was better at blocking her feelings than I was at sensing them, but she definitely seemed to be genuine. She gave me another push, waving me off as she went inside, so I headed around to the back of the house. I pushed open the gate that led to the clearing. Sam was sitting with his eyes closed at the opposite end of the clearing from the golden tree. He looked really peaceful, and I didn’t want to disturb him, so I just hovered awkwardly by the gate, wondering what I should do.
