by Anita Oh
Stop fidgeting, Tennyson said to me in chemistry the next day. You’re driving me crazy.
I don’t think you should be sitting so close to hazardous chemicals when someone is out to get you.
This time, I was close enough to see him roll his eyes.
I’ve lived to be sixteen years old with constant threats on my life and without your “protection” for most of it. I think I’ll be fine.
But…
He shook his head. Pay attention. I’m not letting you borrow my notes later if you miss this. If you lose your scholarship and have to go to commoner school, I won’t have to listen to your constant prattling.
I aimed a kick at his shin under the table but turned my attention to the teacher. Tennyson was probably safe while we were in class, anyway.
Once the teacher had finished describing color oscillating chemicals, we had to do an experiment on the Briggs-Rauscher reaction, so Tennyson sent me over to get the equipment. Olivia Hearst elbowed me out of the way so she could get to the cupboard first, then smirked over her shoulder at me. Because getting the really good sulfuric acid was such a huge deal. Loser.
I took the stuff back to our table, and we set up the experiment. I opened my mouth to continue our earlier conversation, but Tennyson shook his head.
“You’ve made your point,” he said, uncorking the distilled water. “I have heard it and acknowledge it. That means you no longer need to keep making it.”
“Fine,” I said, arranging the chemicals in the order we would need them. But food isn’t the only way someone can be poisoned, and poison isn’t the only way someone can be assassinated.
“Step two of the experiment says we need to…” He pointed to his notes emphatically to show he was changing the subject.
The classroom settled into a quiet hum as everyone worked on their experiments, but before too long, a grating voice broke through the quiet.
“It just makes me sick,” Olivia hissed to Charlotte. “Look at her, sitting there flirting with him, playing footsy. I can’t understand why they all like her so much when she’s so… obvious.”
I had been trying to land another solid kick on him, but that was only because he was a jerk who didn’t listen and was going to get himself killed, not because I was flirting. I could feel myself turning red, and I hastily pulled my foot back and tucked it around the leg of my stool.
“Even the way she manipulated herself into being his lab partner is just too much! And it’s not just Tennyson. She won’t even let other girls speak to Sam. You know that Stephanie was in C&C club last year, and she said that one time she asked Nikolai to help with the pattern for her infinity scarf and that girl launched her crochet hook at Stephanie’s eye!”
I bit down on a snort. That had been a total accident. Crochet was hard! Somehow, it seemed so much funnier when they were saying it about Nikolai. Maybe because he wasn’t sitting right opposite me trying to pretend he couldn’t hear what they were saying.
“But it’s obvious that Tennyson is her main goal,” Olivia continued. “The way she follows him around, making moon eyes at him, using any excuse to touch him, it’s just pathetic. You literally never see him around anymore without her tagging along. I bet she tracks him by GPS. And you know what else…”
Was that true, I wondered. It was really hard to judge, with the bond and everything. I mean, I didn’t need GPS; I just always knew where he was, regardless, but was I always following him around? Was I unwelcome? All those times when I had thought Tennyson was just being his natural jerk self, maybe he wasn’t naturally a jerk. Maybe he really didn’t like me. I wasn’t so struck on being forced into a bond with him myself, but I was trying to make the best of it, and I’d kind of gotten used to him. But it would be awful to be bound to someone you actually hated. Maybe that was why he’d blocked me, because he couldn’t deal with me anymore.
I finished the rest of the experiment on auto-pilot, not even taking in whatever else Olivia was saying. We packed away our stuff, and as the bell rang, Tennyson marched over to Olivia and Charlotte’s table.
“I chose Lucy O’Connor as my lab partner because she is the best in this class at drawing a rational conclusion from the collected data. Based on that information, it should be clear why I did not choose you. In future, please refrain from casting aspersions on my good judgment. Good day to you.”
He gave them a curt nod, then turned and strode out of the room. I stared blankly after him for a moment. He must be really mad. The more polite he sounded, the angrier he was, and he’d been super polite and had used a bunch of big words. But more than that, after worrying all class that he hated me, he’d stood up for me. A warm, happy feeling bloomed in my chest as I picked up my bag and started walking out of the classroom. He didn’t hate me at all.
Before I got to the door, Olivia grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me back. Her fingers dug into my flesh, and she shoved her face right up in mine.
“This isn’t over,” she hissed. “You think you can turn him against me? You’ll pay for this. I’ll get the worst revenge you can imagine, and then Tennyson will be mine.”
“Good luck with that,” I said, rolling my eyes and pulling away from her.
Why did I have to go to a school full of crazy people? As if high school wasn’t hard enough without everyone making up weird stories about me all the time.
Something about lycanthropy made it super-hard to focus on academics. Studying had always been something I was good at, but now, being cooped up in a classroom made me antsy. It didn’t seem natural to lock someone in there with a bunch of other kids and their smells and their feelings. It took all of my energy to focus, so between that and worrying about Tennyson, I was exhausted by the end of the day, and I still had to go to my club activity.
I’d signed up for it before the whole wolfy business, and it was too late to change. If I’d realized that I’d have aggression issues, I probably wouldn’t have decided on fencing as my activity, though apparently, I was dangerous enough when I was only doing crafts. The fencing coach was a surly old guy, an ex-Olympian who wouldn’t let us even look sideways at a foil until we’d perfected our footwork, so I’d managed to avoid any trouble so far by being especially uncoordinated. I’d hoped that by this point, Coach would’ve given up on me, but I guess you don’t win Olympic medals by being a quitter.
Our practice room was a small building between the library and the forest. It had wooden floors covered with mats that retained the scent of decades of martial arts practice. Folding doors opened up along two opposite walls, and the other two were lined with mirrors. In the far corner was a large storage cupboard that held not only the fencing equipment but the equipment for all the other martial arts clubs that shared the rooms with us. In the corner to the right was a wooden screen for me — the only girl in fencing club — to get changed behind.
“Hurry up,” Coach said. “We’re putting those drills into practice today.”
I stared at him in horror. “Even me?”
“Especially you. Now, hurry up and change out of that uniform.”
“But, Coach,” I said, rubbing my belly. “I don’t feel so good. It’s that time of the month and —”
I had never met any guy that the “that time of the month” excuse didn’t work on, but Coach was some kind of monster. He just waved me off toward the corner.
“Are you going to fence with your uterus? No? Then, go get changed.”
As I changed, I told myself it would be fine. I’d held it together earlier when Olivia was saying all that stuff. It wasn’t as if anyone would be attacking me out of malice in fencing club. They all seemed like okay guys. I just had to not take it personally when they attacked me.
That was easier said than done.
I had the footwork down pat, I’d practiced it so many times, but the fact that someone was coming at me with a sword was enough to awaken that wild part of me. I tried to think reasonably, to keep my breathing calm, all of the things I was s
upposed to do. But as soon as Coach called out, “En garde, pret, allez,” for us to start and my masked opponent stepped toward me, all my instincts said to throw down my foil and claw his guts out.
“Excuse me, Coach?” called a voice from the doorway, and for the first time in my life, I was grateful to hear it.
“If you’re not here to join my team, Mr. Volkov, then you may leave,” said Coach, signaling for us all to go back to practicing footwork.
“You know I would, Coach, if not for my debilitating injury,” said Nikolai. “Such a promising career, cut down too soon. You know it hurts the world more than it hurts even me. But I’m actually here for Lucy.”
I started creeping over to the corner to change back into normal clothes. Escape was so near.
“You like this girl?” asked Coach.
Nikolai muttered something, and they both laughed. Jerks.
By the time I re-emerged, they were chatting like old army buddies. I wondered how Nikolai knew the fencing coach, but I didn’t care enough to ask about it.
“What were you thinking?” Nikolai whispered to me once we were out the door of the fencing room. He grabbed me by the arm and pulled me toward the forest. “Weapons will be a fun addition to my anger management issues? Sheesh. You really need to get a better handle on the pack bond. You know we were getting prizes for the best souffle in C&C club today, and you made mine deflate like a popped balloon when you started freaking out. Why would you ever think fencing club was a good idea?”
“I couldn’t get out of it,” I told him. “What was I supposed to do?”
Nikolai stopped walking and turned to face me. “You were supposed to come to your pack for help. Why do you think people have packs?” He sighed. “Look, you’ve tried the Tennyson strict discipline way, and you’ve tried the Sam hippie at-one-with-the-universe way, but sometimes the only way is the Nikolai way.” He started undoing his shirt.
“I’m not having sex with you,” I told him. “Not ever.”
He snorted. “Only in your dreams. But this isn’t about that. Your problem is that your human side is fighting against the wolf side, and it’s creating all this conflict within you. You need to stop fighting it. Just let the wolf go for a while. Let it have free rein. Go chase a rabbit or roll in the mud, or whatever your wolf wants to do. I’ll be there with you to stop you from doing anything too stupid, so you can just let go.”
The Nikolai way did seem to make sense, but then he pulled off his shirt and started undoing his pants.
“Maybe I should try the Althea way first?” I said.
“Don’t be such a prude. It’s not like you haven’t seen me change before.”
“Normally, it’s dark,” I muttered, heading into the bushes. Normally, it was the whole pack too, and the boys went off in another direction. This was just weird and a bit creepy. I folded up my uniform neatly and hid it in the hollow of a tree, then transformed.
Nikolai gave a little yip and pounced at me, and the two of us took off running into the woods.
We ran and ran. It felt as if I was outrunning all that bad feeling, all that conflict that Nikolai had talked about, that the faster I ran, the more of it burned up. If Nikolai annoyed me, I bit him or pounced on him, and then ran again. Nothing I did mattered; nothing had any consequences. I didn’t need to worry about falling into that wildness because Nikolai was there to pull me back. I could do anything I liked.
I was free.
Chapter 6
By the time I got to the dining hall for dinner that night, it was packed. I usually tried to eat super early or super late to avoid the crowds, but after going back to my room to shower off all the mud I’d been rolling in, I was never going to be early, and I was too famished to wait until later. I was still on a bit of a high when I entered, my head full of scents and ideas without form. It hadn’t been scary this time, that untethered feeling, because I’d known that Nikolai was there. I supposed that was what a pack was: that sense of security, of a safety net to catch you, even when you became untethered. I was so wrapped up in that feeling of flying free that I hardly knew where I was. I floated vaguely in the direction of food, uncaring.
Until I ran smack-bang into someone. I looked up to apologize, then realized it was Olivia Hearst. She’d stepped into my path on purpose. What was up with this girl?
She looked me up and down with an awful sneer on her face.
“Do you have… Is that a stick in your hair?” She reached up to pluck it out, and I flinched away. “I don’t even need to ask how that got there.”
I had washed my hair, but I’d been in such a rush to eat that I hadn’t been all that careful about it. Still, it was none of Olivia’s business how I wore my hair.
“Look,” I said with a sigh.
“No, you look,” she said, poking me hard in the shoulder. If I hadn’t recently become a werewolf, she’d have left a decent bruise. “I know you think you’re fooling everyone, but you don’t fool me. I know what you really are.”
I raised my eyebrows. I hoped she was bluffing, because otherwise, we were all in for a world of trouble.
“That’s right,” she said. “I know all about you. I told you I’d get my revenge, but you didn’t believe me. Well, take a look at that.”
She nodded toward where Tennyson and the others were sitting in their balcony overlooking the rest of the dining hall. Sam and Althea were listening to Nikolai, who was telling them some story that involved using wild hand gestures. Tennyson picked up a little teapot. Tennyson liked things a certain way and when he decided on that way, he stuck to it. He normally took his tea from an antique teapot with an ugly blue pattern, which had apparently once belonged to Queen Victoria. This teapot was plain white. He took the lid off it the pot and sniffed at it, and then poured the contents into his cup.
“That’s right,” said Olivia. “You think you’re so smart, that you’ve got everything all worked out. But everything is about to change.”
A terrible, cold fear gripped my heart.
Katie had been sure that my father didn’t have a person on the inside, but Katie wasn’t infallible. I’d thought that Olivia just liked Tennyson, that she’d been jealous that I got to spend time with him, but I wasn’t infallible, either. I’d been so, so wrong. Olivia Hearst was working for my father, and she was going to get her revenge on me, all right. She was going to get it by poisoning Tennyson.
I shoved her out of my way and ran toward Tennyson.
There was only one thought in my head as I pushed my way through the dining hall. Get to Tennyson.
Anyone who got in my way went flying. I seemed to be moving in slow motion, like running underwater or in quicksand. I didn’t take my eyes off him, dreading that moment when he’d raise that cup to his lips. He was holding it in his hand, that delicate cup that looked so tiny with his long fingers wrapped around it.
I tried to call out as I ran up the steps, to tell him to stop, not to drink it, but I was out of breath. I was going to be too late. He raised the cup to his lips just as I got to the top step, and I lurched forward, throwing myself at him.
“What?” he said as I knocked the cup from his hand.
I fell to the ground, looking up as I watched the cup circle in the air, the liquid spraying out and raining down on me. It seemed to glow as it settled on my skin, turning a bright pink before it vanished.
A second later, I started to scream.
Chapter 7
I woke up and couldn’t move.
I was in a dark room, but when I strained my eyes, I could make out the dim outline of a door to my right. I twitched my fingers, and that was fine. Then my toes. But when I lifted my arm, something stopped me. I tried out a few more movements and realized that I was chained at the wrists and ankles.
Tennyson? I asked. That cold fear still held my heart. Answer me.
But there was no answer.
That didn’t necessarily mean anything. It didn’t mean he was hurt. It didn’t mean he was worse
than hurt.
That cold fear began to spread all through my bloodstream until I was shivering.
TENNYSON! I screamed in my mind, pulling against the restraints, trying to break free. ANSWER ME!
I tried to calm myself down so I could reach out with my mind and feel that he was there, that I was overreacting and he was fine, but there was only that cold fear. I couldn’t feel him at all. He just wasn’t there.
Finally, the door creaked open, and a strip of light appeared.
“Will you be okay if I turn on the light?” Althea asked quietly.
“I think so,” I said. It hurt to speak, and I realized I must have been screaming aloud.
“The light was hurting you the last time you were awake,” Althea explained. “Let me know how this is. I’ll keep them on dim.”
She switched on the lights, and I blinked. When I looked around, I realized where I was. I was in the basement of the Golden House. This was where I’d spent the last few full moons as well, only with light and company. If I’d been freaking out less, I probably would’ve put it together myself. As far as dungeons went, this was a fairly comfortable one, with cushy chairs and well-stocked bookshelves, but that was the furthest thing from my mind.
“Tennyson?” I asked her.
“He’s fine,” she said, picking up a tray from the shelf outside and bringing it in. “He sat with you all night, but he’s just gone up to bed.”
I had no reason to doubt her. It was just that I couldn’t feel him.
She set the tray on the table opposite where I was chained.
“How do you feel?” she asked.
I shook my head. I didn’t know. “I can’t sense Tennyson. Not at all.”
