Dr. Harried laughed but to tell you the truth, I don’t think the old guy was joking. He paused at the door looking at the newly raked swirls in the front garden.
“That’s nice,” he said, smiling at Dr. Harried. “Peaceful.”
Dr. Harried winked at me as I hurried to the front desk to check our clients in.
When I got home from work that night, I saw my tuition bill had come in the mail. I could not get over how much it cost to go to college. I hadn’t worried about cost of course since I wasn’t footing the bill. There is no way I could have afforded this without Dr. Thanatos’ help.
I emailed Mr. Zeller to tell him I had the tuition bill. I let him know I would walk over at lunch time the following day to drop if off at the bank. He replied quickly and said he would have a couple of documents for me to sign all ready for me and we would be all set for my first semester.
The next day was a great day for a walk. Soon it would be really cold but for now, there was a brief respite. The leaves were all changing color and there was a crisp breeze which snagged a few bright leaves twisting them in the air like colorful confetti. When I arrived at the bank, I was told Mr. Zeller would be back any moment and to just go ahead and have a seat in his office. He was expecting me.
I plopped down on a dark leather chair and sighed. At the most unexpected times the grief of Timothy would hit me and I would feel like crying. I guess I was remembering when he sat with me at the bank when we met with Dr. Thanatos. He had been a strength to me. Now that was gone. I was on my own. Me against the world.
I saw my name on a Manila folder on the desk. Under it was another folder. I could see the tab said Thanatos Will.
Now the contents of that folder were not strictly for my perusal, but I justified what I did next pretty easily. Mr. Zeller had left both folders in plain sight on his desk, knowing he was stepping out, and knowing I was coming. He had left instructions for me to wait for him in his office. And then, to add to my cat-killing curiosity and green light to indulge it, a bank employee stuck his head in the door and said Mr. Zeller just called. He would be back in ten minutes. Did I want a cup of coffee while I waited?
I did not. But I will tell you what I did want. I wanted to peruse the contents of that Thanatos Will more than I wanted life itself. Well that is an exaggeration, but I didn’t pause more than a second through the stab of guilt before opening the Manila folder.
What I saw just about burned my eyebrows right off my brow. This was not Dr. Thanatos’ will, as I had presumed. At least not my father, Dr. Thanatos. It was the last will and testament of Dr. Margaret Thanatos. I could tell by the date of birth that she was my grandmother. A grandmother I never knew I had. I guess I had never really considered that Dr. Thanatos sprang forth from a womb. I thought of him as being vomited straight out of hell.
I wondered what kind of a doctor she was. Glancing at my watch, I figured I had only about seven safe minutes left. I hurried past the will to some papers behind it. There was a document from her working days.
Are you sitting down? You better be before I tell you what Dr. Margaret Thanatos did for a living. She was an OB/Gyn which was not the huge surprise. That is how Dr. Mortimer Thanatos started off as well. But Dr. Margaret Thanatos was also the former director of New Life Pregnancy Center…one of the largest pregnancy resource centers in this part of the country. I knew of it because of my work in the abortion center. The owner HATED New Life Pregnancy Center. She said they were also the founders of the largest pro-life sidewalk counseling group in Mirror Lake and actually our whole state. She said they were the single greatest thorn in the side of the abortion center, continually inciting the health department to do surprise inspections. Some of those had even shut the place down for days at a time.
I have no idea how New Life knew about the violations that sparked the inspections, but they were always accurate. There must have been an informant in the abortion center, but I never knew who it was.
On the informational sheet, Dr. Margaret Thanatos death was listed as occurring ten years ago. She had been ninety-years-old. What was most staggering was she was alive, and obviously aware of Dr. Thanatos career as an abortionist while she was directing the most powerful opponent in the area to his work.
Wouldn’t you love to have joined that family table for Sunday dinner?
In all likelihood, they were estranged. I had never even heard of her, but of course by the time I came along to the abortion center work, she was already dead, and long ago retired from managing New Life. Still, one would think I would have heard something about her. I wondered if she knew about me?
Again, that didn’t seem plausible. If she had, and she was staunchly pro-life, you would think she would have sought me out, the one child that lived (that I knew of) out of the loins of her son. I felt a wave of sorrow as I thought about her. I had a grandmother, who was alive while I was being shuffled from one foster home to the next. I could have lived with a loving prolife grandmother…if only she had known.
Fortunately, in the musing and sorrow, I had enough wherewithal to recognize footsteps approaching the office and quickly shoved the papers back in the folder. I stuffed it back under the top folder just in time. Mr. Zeller hurried into the room.
“Ruth, I am so sorry,” he said, holding out his hand. I shook it, smoothing my face of any traces of guilt.
“Totally caught up in traffic. There was an accident on Main Street, and it was completely shut down for twenty minutes. We will only be a moment. I hope you will have time to make it back to work.”
As I assured him I would be fine, I noticed him jerk his eyes toward the desk with Dr. Margaret’s folder not fully obscured. He deftly gathered both folders and turned to the file cabinet behind him. He made a show of rifling through it while claiming he needed to find the forms for me to sign, but he was dropping the bottom folder in the cabinet. Out of my sight. As he turned back, he still held Dr. Mortimer Thanatos’ folder in his hand. He flopped it open. The documents I had to sign were right on top.
It was clear, he was hiding the existence of the Last Will and Testament of Dr. Margaret Thanatos from me. I felt the first excitement I had felt since Timothy had left me. I was determined I would find out WHY.
The forms were standard, just noting I had given the tuition bill to the bank. I signed them quickly and hurried back to work. Fortunately, it was a slow day so I had some time to do some research on the computer in between dogs showing up for routine check ups.
I googled Dr. Margaret Thanatos. There were several news articles about her. She had apparently caused a great deal of grief to her beloved son. It was an investigation that appeared to have been spearheaded by Dr. Margaret herself that finally revoked Dr. Mortimer’s admitting privilege to Mirror Lake Hospital. I cannot imagine that created good will between ma and her boy.
She was one of the first women doctors in Mirror Lake and very quickly became a vocal opponent of the legalization of abortion. It was when she was almost sixty that she opened the New Life Pregnancy Center, shortly after Roe V Wade made abortion a legal choice. She was one of the first pro-life supporters to step onto the sidewalk in front of the Mirror Lake Women’s Center in opposition to the abortions that her own son was performing.
I wondered if Talia knew this? I could not believe she hadn’t told me if she had known. Also, did Marcus Zeller know about my grandmom when he asked me if I knew of any inheritances that could have provoked Dr. Thanatos strange request to absolve any agreements if I dropped out of school? I had no idea if Margaret knew about me or not, or if I was in any inheritance agreement or not, but it was very suspicious that her last will was on Mr. Zeller’s desk. Especially in light of Dr. Thanatos’ strange request.
Was Mr. Zeller in cahoots with Dr. Thanatos in a plot against me? It didn’t seem possible. I may not have the world’s best social/emotional radar, but I had not gotten any sense that Mr. Zeller was doing anything but representing Dr. Thanatos in what appeared to be a generous of
fer to his only daughter.
Why the last will on his desk, then, and why not mention it to me? If he hadn’t known about it before, he certainly knew about it now.
Further research revealed that Margaret had not only been the first woman Ob/Gyn in Mirror Lake, but had quickly risen to prominence and was appointed head of the Obstetrics department at Mirror Lake Hospital at the age of 45. She didn’t retire till age 65, and at that point was also head of the New Life pregnancy center. She was likely not a poor woman.
Not that I was greedy or thinking of her money. However, I knew Dr. Thanatos’ character, and I was filled with even greater ominous misgivings over the offer to fund college. He had assured me it was not from any profits from his abortion work.
Was it from Margaret then? Had she known about me? If she had, why had she never contacted me?
That was all I could discover about Margaret. It did heal my heart a little to know I was descended not only from a blood-guilty abortionist but also from a staunch pro-life doctor who was one of the strongest voices for the unborn in our little community. Maybe I was not the genetic cess-pool I had thought I was.
I found only one picture of Margaret in all the news clippings I was able to uncover on the internet. That photo was from long before I was born. Margaret was being newly appointed as the head of the Obstetrics Department. She was a very beautiful woman. I looked very closely at the picture to see if I could discern any of me in the photo. She was at least twenty years older than me in the photo so it was hard to visualize how I might look at her age. Her hair was similar. A little wild, a little frizzy, lots of unruly curls. Other than that, she looked more like a feminine Dr. Thanatos than like me.
I was typing in a different search criteria when the office door barked and our first emergency of the day hobbled in. The dog looked very distressed, and was foaming at the mouth. Instantly, I feared rabies and wondered why the dog was not muzzled at the very least.
However, the owner immediately must have known what I suspected and cried out, “This is a reaction to the flea medication Dr. Harried recommended! It happened right after I gave it to Sparky!”
White bubbles continued to form all around the poor dog’s panting mouth.
“Let me get Dr. Harried,” I said. I knew that allergic reactions could be very serious. Dr. Harried came out immediately and told Sparky’s owner to come with her. I heard her asking him as she opened the door to the exam room, “How long ago did you apply the flea lotion?”
“Apply?” I heard him say. “I thought she was supposed to drink it. I poured it down her mouth…”
The door shut on them at that point.
Later, Dr. Harried told me that Sparky would be fine. Drinking the flea medication was not fatal, though likely tasted terrible. The dog was given charcoal tablets to help deactivate any potential toxicity of the flea meds. The owner was given explicit instructions on the difference between how to apply topical vs. ingestible medications.
“Never underestimate the potential to be stupid,” Dr. Harried warned me.
When the day of work ended, I was eager to get home and see if I could uncover any more information on my grandmother. I was so excited to learn about this relative of whom I was actually proud to be related that I totally forgot to be depressed about Timothy and Lakisha.
Bo greeted me happily. “WWWWrawwwwk!”
I snapped her leash on, and invigorated by my enthusiasm of being descended from a pillar of our community, took firm control when Bo tried to lead me in the direction of Timothy’s house. I refused and instead headed in the opposite direction, towards the street where New Life Pregnancy Center was located. At least I had the address of where it used to be located. I wasn’t certain if it was still there or not.
The route was not a familiar one to either of us. It was actually not in a great section of town, so I had not typically walked in that direction. However, while I only had an hour or so of daylight, the center was within a mile and a half of my house.
The homes along the route were small, dilapidated, and could use a little of Dr. Harried’s Feng Shui attention. Not a single one proclaimed balance or serenity.
I was a little nervous as I moved further into this obviously low income area. While I had grown up in a similar section of my hometown, that had been familiar squalor. This was not. Bo was on high alert. She did not look at all happy about my chosen path, and not just because it was in the opposite direction of her beloved Dumbo’s home. I think she sensed the brokenness, not only of the homes and tattered fences but of the people. The vibe there was not a hopeful one.
Until we rounded a corner and saw our destination.
New Life Pregnancy Center was like a diamond sparkling in a bed of nasty coal. A neat white picket fence bordered a perfectly manicured front yard. The paths that led from the parking lot to the front doors curved around bright patches of flowers, trimmed shrubs, and birdbaths. Benches perched invitingly under tall oak trees, which were ablaze in Autumn color. A small white sign on the door said the center was open till 6:00. I had five minutes!
I tried the door, expecting it to likely be already locked, but it swung open. There were no signs prohibiting dogs, so I shrugged at Bo and stepped inside. A receptionist was standing at her desk, gathering her purse, jacket, and keys.
“Oh,” she said, “We were just about to close! May I help you?”
The woman was young, probably not much older than me. I doubt she would have known or possibly even heard of Dr. Margaret Thanatos, but I had come this far. May as well discover what I could. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
“I am doing research on the history of this place. It has been around a long time.”
“Yes it has! Nearly forty years! I have only been here two though.” She reached out a hand, “My name is Denise. Your dog is cute.”
“Roooooo.”
(Bo was totally agreeing. Humility is not her strength.)
“I wanted to find out any information you might have on the woman who founded this place,” I said, feeling pretty certain Denise would not be likely to know anything.
I was wrong!
“Oh, you mean Dr. Margaret Thanatos! I sure wish I could have met her. She is a hero. Not long after Roe V Wade legalized abortion, Dr. Margaret decided she would do everything in her power to provide an alternative to poor women. That’s why she built the center here. Even back then, this was not a very good section of town. We have a pamphlet about New Life and it has a whole section on Dr. Margaret. Would you like that?”
Jackpot!!!!
Denise rifled through some files and then handed me a fairly thick pamphlet with a picture of New Life on the front and a woman standing on the front step. From the one other photo I had seen, I recognized my grandmother.
Denise handed me the pamphlet. “I need to lock up,” she said, “But if you want to come back and talk with some of the workers who were here when Dr. Margaret was still alive, I know they would love to speak with you.”
She paused and looked at me closely. “You look so familiar. Have we met before?”
I pushed my hair back from my forehead, as I took the pamphlet from her hand. Dr. Margaret was striking the exact same pose with her own unruly, wind-blown mop on the stoop of New Life in the photograph.
“No,” I said, “I don’t think so anyway. Thanks so much for this.”
Bo and I jogged home. I smelled what I was pretty sure was marijuana drifting from the bushes just beyond New Life. Best to get out of that neighborhood as fast as possible while it was still light. I decided my grandmother was a much braver woman than I.
Chapter Sixteen
The pamphlet revealed a wealth of information that I had not gleaned from the news articles. There were a few other pictures of my grandmother. One was of her counseling a patient. The gentle compassion on her face made me tear up.
There was no mention of her son, my father, nor of me.
How did this incredible, ardently pro-life hero rai
se a son who became an abortionist? This did not seem possible. In fact, this disturbed me so deeply that when Talia called just to say Hi, I blurted out the whole story of what I had discovered on Mr. Zeller’s desk.
“I cannot believe I never heard that story,” Talia said. “I guess by the time I was on the sidewalk, Dr. Margaret would have been 80-years-old. She was retired by then. I never actually had seen the pamphlet from New Life, though I refer patients there all the time. Lakisha went there, in fact!”
“Have you heard from Lakisha?” I asked.
“No, sadly. I have called several times. It just goes to voice mail.”
“Talia, what I cannot wrap my head around is how a woman like Dr. Margaret managed to raise someone like Dr. Thanatos. It makes no sense to me. She was called the ‘Pro-life Matron of Mirror Lake’ in the news article I read. I just…how could her son be so different?”
Leashed to Faith Page 13
