by H. L. Logan
And when Brianne and I made it back to our home that evening, I felt, in some intangible way, like I could finally move forward with my life.
19
BRIANNE
“T hank God,” I said.
“What happened?” said Margie, her eyes wide.
“I got the Human Nature job. They liked me at my interview and said I’d be perfect,” I said, glad I’d finally gotten something. And this gig had been one I’d really wanted, too, because it seemed so interesting and worthwhile—something that actually made the world a better place.
“That’s awesome! Congrats!” Margie came and kissed me on the lips, throwing her arms around me.
“I feel a lot better now. If I can score another part time job, I’ll be set. And maybe I can turn it into a marketing consultancy. How cool would that be?” I said, feeling like my dreams could take flight once again. I knew my parents wanted me to become a marketing executive at a fancy firm eventually, but that wasn’t the life I wanted for myself. The cool thing about this Human Nature job was that it was so flexible. I didn’t have to lock myself into the 9-5 slog.
“That would be awesome. I’m sure you can do it if you want to,” said Margie, her eyes shining up at me.
I appreciated her support. To make this good day even better, I was supposed to be playing at the Shadetree show with Kaitlyn this evening. This month’s show focused on the outdoor sculptures they had displayed on the terrace, where we’d be playing. There would be food trucks and outdoor activities for kids, too. It was going to be a blast.
I checked the time on my phone and realized that I had to pick up my pace if I wanted to get there in time. We had to arrive early to set up, and Margie was giving me a ride. Emily was still in town, and she was going to join us. Sadly, Miriam, Tracy, Siobhan, and the rest of the crew weren’t around.
But that was fine. I remembered that one practice session, with just the four of us, where I felt the energy in the room elevate the music. We had a good rapport together.
I made sure to dress up stylishly—I wasn’t in a rock band, but I was a musician, after all—and make sure I had all my supplies. And then we were off.
Every time I showed up at Shadetree, I was amazed by the place. It was just so damn cool, and I couldn’t something so cool had showed up right here in Rosebridge.
I immediately spotted Kaitlyn and Emily on the terrace, talking with Professor Barley. When we walked over, they waved at us.
“I’m thrilled we’re going to have you here today, Brianne,” said Professor Barley. “Everyone loved Kaitlyn’s performance last month.”
I smiled at her. “Thanks for the opportunity, Professor Barley. It’s awesome to be able to play for a crowd.”
After she left to take care of other preparations, Kaitlyn and I took our instruments out and started tuning up. Some early birds started trickling in, and we started jamming and improvising, making sure the guests had something pleasant to listen to while they perused the incredible art. Kaitlyn and I had agreed that we’d take turns at some point so we could each have a chance to look around.
Once it hit 7:00, we took out our notes for the covers we’d prepared and started on them. More and more people starting coming, and the whole thing had the atmosphere of a fair. There were a couple of food trucks, lots of chattering children, and even a few well-behaved dogs.
One of the things I loved about street performance—after I’d actually started doing it—was getting to see how people reacted to my music. When I increased the tempo, they started getting more excited, and when I decreased the tempo, they became more relaxed. The same thing started happening as Kaitlyn and I moved on to the more energetic songs in our set. It was cool to be able to control the energy of the crowd from where I was.
And it was also fun to play the violin outdoors. Most of the time, I was in my room or in the orchestra room. I never got to play in the sunshine and breeze. There was something freeing about it, like the notes could float into the air like dandelion seeds, carried on the wind and heard from a distance. And my violin sang like a nightingale as I pulled a wide range of notes from it, adding vibrato and other effects to jazz it up.
I had so much more respect for Kaitlyn now than I had starting out. I used to think she was lesser than me because she didn’t have a formal music education and played on the street instead of concert halls. But what I didn’t realize until I actually got to know her was that we both loved music, and that was all that mattered. We loved playing our instruments and sharing music with audiences, wherever they were, and that was the most important thing. It didn’t matter that we came from completely different backgrounds. What was the point of enjoying music if you used it to separate yourself from other people?
Margie nodded at me, indicating that she and Emily were going to explore a bit more. There were some new exhibitions inside the building as well, where people were escaping to get some relief from the sun, though it was quickly becoming cooler.
After our first set finished, I told Kaitlyn I wanted to take a break and explore inside. After this break, I’d take over for her. I’d prepared some cool early 20th century jazzy pieces which I thought would be a perfect transition into the night.
I carefully packed my violin back up—I didn’t want to risk it getting damaged—and headed inside in search of Margie. I found her pretty easily because there weren’t as many people inside as outside. She and Emily were gawking at a large, humanoid sculpture, and I couldn’t tell if it was nude or not.
“Um,” I said, wrapping an arm around Margie, “what the hell is this?”
“That’s what we’re trying to figure out,” said Margie. “Is that his dick, or what? I have no idea.”
We dissolved into laughter and moved on to the artist’s other works, which were clearer. “I feel like this would look good in my house,” I said, gesturing to another humanoid shape.
“I’d probably get scared of it at night,” said Margie. “I’d get up to use the bathroom, see it in skulking in the corner, and flip a shit.”
We burst into laughter again. It felt good to be out and laughing with my friends. I felt like I’d been so anxious, so uptight, for so long, and now I could finally let loose. Every puzzle piece of my life was coming together. I knew how lucky I was, and I didn’t want to lose the feeling.
“You know, the art store is open, finally,” said Emily. “They’re having special hours for it tonight so people can see what it’s about.”
“Oh wow,” said Margie. “We definitely have to check it out, then.”
We followed Emily through the warehouse and into a corner studio that had been transformed into a store. Even though it was small and I wasn’t particularly knowledgeable about art supplies, I could tell it was pretty comprehensive and had good quality stuff.
“This is… awesome,” said Margie.
“Thanks,” said the store clerk, looking up. “We figured a lot of people would appreciate us adding an art supplies store. Helps us fund our programs, too.”
“I think I’m going to end up spending some money here,” said Margie.
“Me too,” I agreed. I’d been having an itch to get back into painting recently, and this felt like the right time to do it.
We walked through the aisles, looking at devices which were completely inexplicable and others that I was practically drooling over. Margie and I ended up picking out some paints and canvases and brushes, figuring we could start on our journey to take up painting again together.
“Good haul,” said Emily.
“Thanks,” I said. “I feel inspired, now.”
“Good,” said Margie. “I just have no idea what I actually want to paint.”
“Paint the animals,” I suggested, as we walked back outside—it was time to relieve Kaitlyn. “Maybe if you get good at it, people will pay you to paint their animals. One of my mom’s friends does that.”
“Not a bad idea,” said Margie.
I stowed the painting mater
ials with my violin case, took my violin out, and sat down, ready to go. I started off with a little improv, so it would be a jarring transition, but when I started playing the jazz pieces, the night started to become a deep shade of blue. It was perfect. String lights lit up the whole place magically, along with larger street lights. They had the effect of illuminating the sculptures interestingly, transforming their shapes with long shadows and bright spots.
I got lost in my set, enjoying the easy, groovy feeling of the songs I was playing. It was thrilling to see that people were actually into it, too. People were swaying as they talked and looked at the art, and it was because of my music! I felt powerful, in a way. It was like being the DJ in a club, controlling the mood and the energy.
The night was so fun that it inevitably came to an end. After most of the people left, Kaitlyn and I packed up, and Professor Barley came over to give us our check. She’d even allowed us to set out a tip jar, which was kind of her.
I felt satisfied, totally content, as Margie drove us home. I was exhausted from playing for so long, but I was so happy. I ended up falling asleep in the car, and when I woke, it was like I’d been magically transported.
“Someone’s a sleepyhead, huh?” said Margie, laughing.
“Oh, shush,” I said, though she was right. I was dead tired.
After brushing my teeth and changing into PJs, I went right to bed, and she joined me. She gave me a kiss and said “I love you.”
“I love you too,” I said, feeling drowsy already.
If life could continue to be like this, I thought… I’d be the happiest woman in the world.
EPILOGUE
MARGIE
T HREE YEARS LATER
I couldn’t believe something as simple as a coffee could help me find the woman of my dreams, the woman who I was going to spend the rest of my life with.
We’d stayed in Rosebridge proper for a while, especially since it was easier for Brianne to build up her marketing consultancy there, but eventually moved to the outskirts, like Leah and Jean had. We were still friends with them after all this time, and I still liked to help out at the animal shelter, when I wasn’t doing field work.
During my senior year, I’d found a biology professor who was interested in working with me on a longterm project, so I’d applied to do a masters at Beasley. I’d been accepted for the program, and now this professor and I were doing fieldwork on the local bird populations. I had to wake up at 4:30 AM on some days to set up the mist nets, but it was worth it. I was finally doing what I loved. When I graduated at the end of the year, I would try to find other field work opportunities in the area. There was a lot of ecological research to get involved with that I never could have imagined before.
Our painting endeavors had gone so well that we’d both been accepted to various shows at Shadetree. Brianne wanted to spring for a studio space for both of us eventually, when both of us could afford it. I didn’t have much time to paint now, with my research, but it was something we enjoyed together.
All in all, life was good. I didn’t want anything to change. Well, once I was done with my masters, I wanted to travel more, and I was open to the idea of moving away from Rosebridge. But it was so peaceful and beautiful up here, it was hard to imagine living anywhere else. Later on, I knew I’d want kids, but that still seemed so far in the future. It was like the world was my oyster.
But there was one thing I was sure of. I wanted to marry Brianne. In fact, I was so sure that I’d actually gone out and bought a ring. I wasn’t sure when the right time to propose would be, and I knew Brianne wasn’t the kind of person who was into big, fancy celebrations. I would just have to carry it in my pocket and wait for a good moment.
But I knew I couldn’t just keep waiting, like Leah had told me so long ago. I just had to go for it.
So one day, as we were enjoying the hiking trails in our neighborhood, I realized that I was coming up on the perfect moment. It was summer again, and the forest was alive with birdsong and the calls of other creatures. It perfectly encapsulated what I loved about Rosebridge.
There was a cliff on this trail that had a beautiful vista of the distant hills and mountains, and we often brought picnics here. It was the perfect place for a proposal—beautiful, and with meaning for both of us.
We sat down when we reached the cliff, enjoying the view. The sun was a couple hours away from setting, so it painted the whole vista in shades of gold. It was incredible. This was what I loved about living in New England. Soon enough, the leaves would change colors and the whole place would be like a rainbow.
I snuggled up to Brianne and rested my head on her shoulder. Now was the time.
“Brianne,” I started. “I have something to ask you.”
“That’s funny,” she said, “I had something I wanted to talk to you about too.”
“What?” I sat up and looked at her. “Um, is it urgent?”
“Depends. Is yours urgent?”
I narrowed my eyes at her. What was she getting at? And what was with that mischievous smile on her face?
“Well… I wanted to ask you… Brianne, will you marry me?” I pulled the ring box from my purse and snapped it open.
“Of course I will,” she said, “but only on one condition.”
“What’s that?”
She fished around in her purse and took out a box. “Only if you’ll marry me too.”
She cracked it open and displayed a ring.
“Hell yes,” I said, amazed that she’d been thinking the same thing. I mean, we’d discussed marriage, so it wasn’t a surprise, but… it was so funny to think we’d both been carrying rings around, waiting for the right moment to propose. It was downright adorable.
We slipped the rings onto each other’s fingers. It felt like a magical moment, like time had slowed down, and I wanted to capture it forever. The sun glinted off the silver rings, making the tiny diamonds on them sparkle. They weren’t super fancy, since neither of us could afford a huge diamond, but that didn’t matter—it was perfect. It was exactly what I wanted—a token of my commitment to Brianne.
And then, of course, we started making out. Even though we were a little grimy from the hike, it didn’t matter. I loved being here, alone with her and the wilderness around us, feeling like we were in our own little world. It was so beautiful. Life was beautiful. I was overwhelmed with all these thoughts and moaned in delight.
When we broke away, we just looked into each other’s eyes. Her gray eyes looked warmer in the golden sunlight, and her face softer, somehow. I remembered fleetingly how intimidating I’d found her when we’d first met. I hadn’t imagined that someone with such a sharp expression could carry such tenderness, have such a big heart.
But I’d found that person and now she was mine, and I was hers. And that was the way it was going to stay—forever.
ALSO BY H. L. LOGAN
Want to read Kaitlyn and Emily’s story? Check out Rhythm!
“I don't know if I can do relationships anymore.”
Kaitlyn has been struggling with her romantic relationships for awhile, but this last relationship was the straw that broke the camel's back. Now she is not sure if she wants to keep dating. Which isn't a huge deal, she's never been a very conventional girl and she'd like to focus on her passion for music. But when an old friend offers Kaitlyn a place to stay in the beautiful college town of Rosebridge, she meets someone who makes her want to give love one more shot.
"My educational success is the most important thing to me."
Emily worked very hard to get into a successful engineering program and she dedicates all of her time and attention to her schoolwork. Unfortunately, that means she has neglected to date any women during her time at college. Which isn't a huge deal, she never thought dating was very important. That is until she meets Kaitlyn, a free-spirited musician who challenges Emily to live a little.
“I didn't know this would be so hard.”
As Kaitlyn and Emily's love begins to
grow, they find hardships that threaten to tear them apart. And once again, Kaitlyn begins to doubt whether love really can conquer all. Emily loves Kaitlyn with all her heart but is it enough to bridge the gap?
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CHAPTER 1 - KAITLYN
“You don’t have to do this.” She looked up at me sadly. “It doesn’t have to be like this.”
I took in a deep breath, glancing around at my packed bags. I had such a weird blend of suitcases, all hand-me-downs I’d collected from friends or thrift stores. One was mint green with a floral background, a pattern you’d expect to see in 1950. Another one was made of this shoddy, navy blue fabric, and it looked like it could burst at any moment.
But that wasn’t the odd part, the fact that they were all varying sizes and colors. No, the weird thing was, no matter how each of them looked, they all made me feel the same: lonely.
“We both know that I do.”
Julia shook her head in anguish, sinking down into the couch I was sitting on and resting a gentle hand on my shoulder.
“It’s going to hurt,” she whispered to me.
“Yeah,” I nodded. “It always does. But just because it hurts doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Sometimes the right thing and the painful thing are one and the same.”
I spoke so casually about it, as if it wasn’t tearing me apart inside. But this was hurting me just as much as it was hurting her. The break-up was mutual, which theoretically would make the whole process easier, but it hadn’t. If anything, it seemed to make it harder.
