The first weekly checkup went well, much to her relief. Doc was pleased that her color was better, and that she looked less tired. He increased her supplement shakes, told her to keep doing what she was doing, and she left the office feeling relieved. The second and third checkups went the same as the first, with slow but steady improvement. Through no fault of her own, the fourth one didn’t go well at all.
It started off well enough. When Nancy weighed her Jenna was pleased to learn that she’d gained a couple of pounds, and knew Doc would be, too. Nancy even commented that she was looking better, which made her feel good. Then, as she sat on a chair in the exam room waiting for Doc, she heard a commotion taking place outside in the corridor.
It started with a slammed door, which was startling in the usually quiet and peaceful atmosphere of the clinic. Then she heard loud footsteps, as though someone was stomping up the hall which was also startling. She heard Nancy’s voice but didn’t catch the words. Right after that the footsteps stopped outside her door.
“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about,” a woman’s voice said so loudly that Jenna jumped. “This place is a joke. You can’t even get a simple pregnancy test right.”
“I’m sorry Miss Owens, but we ran the test three times, and the result was negative each time,” Nancy said calmly.
“I don’t give a fuck if you ran it a hundred times,” the woman shouted. “It’s wrong and it’ll keep being wrong because you people don’t know your asses from a piss-pot.”
Jenna was growing more and more tense as the woman continued to shout, the squeezing sensation in her chest becoming a tight pain that she struggled to breathe through. As the shouting continued, her stress level rose and the pain increased until she was sitting hunched over with her head down, gasping for air.
Her head jerked up at a loud, explosive sound, and she was shocked to see a black cowboy boot protruding from the door a few feet away from where she sat. The screaming and shouting stopped abruptly. Then the owner of the boot began struggling to get her foot out of the door. With a loud curse the boot disappeared and the door flew open at the same time, revealing an angry woman with tattoos on her face, neck, and arms who stood staring angrily at Jenna as though the entire incident had been her fault.
Then Nancy was there, closing the door while the woman began shouting and swearing again, this time about the scratches on her boot caused by the door. Jenna barely heard her though because she was struggling futilely to draw air into her lungs. Black spots filled her vision and she had a brief thought that she should lie down before she blacked out, and then nothing.
***
“Jenna,” a gentle but insistent voice called. She opened her eyes, then blinked a few times to clear her vision. She was surprised and puzzled to see Doc’s face hovering above her.
“There you are,” he said with some relief.
“Doc?” she asked, slowly realizing that she was in the clinic.
“How do you feel?” he asked. “Any pain anywhere?”
“No,” she replied, raising one hand to her chest and rubbing lightly. “What’s going on?”
“I suspect you became severely distressed, had chest pains, and your breathing got away from you,” Doc replied as he shone a pen light into her eyes.
“That’s right,” she said, remembering. “I couldn’t breathe. That woman made me a little nervous I guess.”
“I know and I apologize for that,” Doc aid grimly.
“Don’t apologize, Doc. It’s not your fault.”
“Nevertheless, you’re in my office and under my care and you shouldn’t have been exposed to that. If it helps, I made it exceedingly clear that she is not to enter Sparx Clinic again for any reason, ever, or I’ll have her charged with trespassing. I wasn’t bluffing either. I never bluff.”
“I don’t remember seeing her around before,” Jenna said, frowning. “Is she new here?”
“No, she’s just staying with a resident,” Doc said. “I’d like you to tell me what you felt before you passed out Jenna, in as much detail as you can.”
Jenna did as he asked and when she was finished, Doc nodded, but she didn’t miss the worried expression in his eyes. “Is this squeezing sensation new?”
“No,” Jenna replied. “But it didn’t used to happen unless I’d get really upset or push myself too hard physically.”
“Used to?”
“It seems to be happening a lot more often lately. It’s stronger too, and seems to last longer.”
“Define lately,” Doc said.
“The last couple of weeks. What’re you thinking, Doc?”
“As we discussed before, your heart is going to have an increasingly difficult time keeping up as the demands being made on it increase.”
Jenna nodded as she worked through what Doc had said, and what he hadn’t said. “You didn’t expect it to start happening this soon.”
“No, I didn’t. I’d like to do an ultrasound if you don’t mind. I know we didn’t plan on that today, but after what happened I think it’s warranted.”
“Sure Doc, whatever you want,” she said, outwardly calm even though Doc’s worry was scaring her.
A few minutes later, and with Nancy’s help, Jenna found herself lying on a different exam table in a medical gown, the barely discernible bump of her tummy bared, holding Nancy’s hand tightly while Doc started to squeeze gel on her skin. He hesitated, then put the gel down and leaned over her to examine her scars more closely. “These are remarkably well healed, Jenna,” he said, as he moved from one to another, sliding her gown up and aside so he could see the ones on her chest as well. “I’ve seen scars from knife wounds before, but I’ve never seen any like these. They’re usually thick and rough.”
“They were like that at first, but as time goes on they get less and less noticeable.”
Doc nodded to Nancy who pulled her gown back into place while he returned to his stool in front of the ultrasound machine. “Those scars give me a good idea of why you were able to get pregnant despite the wounds to your uterus,” he said as he squeezed gel onto her skin.
Jenna smiled. “That’s good to know, Doc.”
“Yes, it is,” he agreed. He placed the scanner on her stomach and moved it around, spreading the gel a bit. “Relax Jenna,” he said gently as he watched the monitor.
“I’m scared, Doc,” she admitted.
“I know you are, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong. I just want to check something.”
Jenna nodded, her eyes on the monitor too even though she couldn’t make much sense of what she was seeing. And then, suddenly, she could. She gasped softly, her eyes widening. Doc turned to look at her and smiled at her reaction despite the confirmation of his most recent concern regarding this particular patient.
“I guess I don’t have to ask if you can see that.”
“No, I see it,” she said, tears in her eyes and an enormous smile on her face. “Twins. Wow.”
“Want a picture?”
“Yes, please,” she said, nodding quickly. Then she frowned, remembering the worry she’d seen in Doc’s eyes that she’d only pretended not to notice. “Are they all right Doc?”
“Yes, they’re perfect,” he said. “A touch small maybe, but considering your size that’s not surprising. Everything looks real good Jenna.”
“Can you see the scars?”
“Not exactly, but I can see a bit of distortion in the shape of your uterus that indicates where they are.”
“Distortion?”
“Nothing to worry about,” Doc said. “The uterus is a remarkable organ and it’s designed to stretch.”
Jenna released a tense breath and Nancy patted her hand and smiled. Jenna returned the smile, then looked back at the monitor, hardly able to believe what she was seeing. “How long before you can tell if they’re boys or girls?”
“You’re what, ten weeks?” Jenna nodded. “Give it another six to eight weeks.”
“Okay, Doc,
” she said, marveling at the sight of her babies on the monitor. She fell silent while Doc took some measurements and looked at a few other things. “Doc,” she said when he turned off the machine and Nancy began to wipe the gel off of her. “How much does this increase the risks?”
“I won’t lie to you Jenna,” he said. “Having twins changes things a great deal, most importantly the strain on your heart. Avoiding stress as well as physical exertion, anything that increases that strain, is going to become more and more important as your pregnancy progresses.
“I’ll want to continue seeing you once a week for a while longer so we can keep a close eye on you and the babies. We may have to make some of those changes we spoke about sooner than expected, Jenna, so be prepared for that. For now I’m pleased with your progress and everything looks just fine. We just got a new supplement shake formula in designed for difficult pregnancies that should also help you gain weight. I’d like you to try that.”
“All right Doc.”
“Jenna, I’m going to make a suggestion that I hope you give some serious thought to.”
“Okay.”
“I want you to tell at least one person what’s going on with you medically. There are a lot of people in this town that care about you. There must be at least one person you feel you can trust.”
Jenna blinked in surprise, then said, “I trust Meg, of course. I love her. She’s my best friend in the world. But I don’t understand why you want me to do this.”
Doc glanced at Nancy, unsurprised to find her blinking back tears. Jenna had been alone for so long, had relied solely on herself for so long, that she truly didn’t understand what the point would be in sharing her troubles with others, not even someone she loved and trusted.
“If there’s a repeat of what happened earlier, or if anything goes wrong, it could make a big difference in the speed and accuracy of the care you receive.”
“Do you think something will go wrong?” she asked, her body tensing.
“Not necessarily, but I’m not going to pretend like the possibility doesn’t exist, especially not after today, and neither should you. You’re very small Jenna, your heart is already showing signs of strain, and the bigger the babies get, the more demands they’ll put on your body. If you were to get dizzy, pass out, fall down, or have an accident of some sort, it would make a big difference if someone knew what was going on.”
“All right Doc. I’ll ask Meg if she wants to know. If she says yes, then I’ll tell her. If she says no,” she trailed off and sighed. “I don’t wanna burden her with my problems, Doc, so if she doesn’t agree, I’m not sure what I’ll do. There isn’t anyone else.”
“Jenna, hon,” Nancy said, surprising both Doc and Jenna. She almost never spoke when Doc was with a patient. “I’ve known Meg for almost thirty years, and I know for a fact that she cares a great deal about you, and that she’s been worried sick about you these last few months. Nothing would make her happier than for you to trust her enough to tell her what’s going on.”
Jenna blinked back tears, then nodded. “Thank you, Nancy. I’ll talk to Meg tonight.”
“My pleasure, hon,” Nancy said, smiling gently.
After Doc was satisfied she had no injuries or lingering side effects from her fall, she got dressed, picked up the new cans of supplement shake mix, slipped the pictures of her babies safely into her purse, and left the clinic. Climbing into her Bronco, she shut the door and sat there for a while, thinking about Meg.
She’d been surprised when Doc said people cared about her, but that was nothing to her shock at what Nancy had said. She wasn’t sure whether or not to believe it though. She loved Meg dearly, but she’d lost faith in her ability to judge how other people really felt about her. It had failed her too many times, most recently with the Howards. She was afraid to trust it again. But, Doc wanted her to do this, and his reasons made sense to her. For the sake of her babies, she had to at least give it a try.
A few hours later she was sitting in a corner booth in the diner with a bemused Meg sitting across from her. She’d deliberately waited until after dinner time, knowing that there wouldn’t be very many people there and she wasn’t disappointed. There was even music playing, so every word they said wouldn’t be overheard.
“I have something I’d like to tell you, Meg,” she began nervously. “You’re the only person I know who I really and truly trust. But I don’t wanna burden you with my problems if you’d rather not, so I’m leaving it up to you. I promise that I won’t be hurt or upset if you choose to pass.”
“Burden me?” Meg asked in surprise. “I’ve been so worried about you Jenna that…well, never mind that. I’m real happy that you trust me, Sugar. You don’t know how much that means to me, or how long I’ve hoped and prayed for it. Now, tell me quick or I’m gonna get up and shake it out of you.”
Jenna smiled, something she did rarely these days. Then she took a deep breath, and opened her mouth. But nothing came out. Her eyes filled with tears that she refused to let fall.
“What’s the matter, Jenna?” Meg asked, reaching over to place her strong hand over Jenna’s small, trembling one.
“I’ve never actually told anyone this before, and even though I want to, I just can’t.”
“It’s all right, you don’t have to tell me anything for me to care about you. You know that, right?”
“Yeah, I know that,” Jenna said, turning her hand over to squeeze Meg’s gently. She paused a moment, thinking. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“When I first came to Sparx, Jack and Hank ran a background check on me.” Meg nodded. “Did they tell you what they found?”
“No, they didn’t,” Meg said. “Not that they wouldn’t have if I’d asked. I know a good deal about some people around here, but if you repeat that I’ll deny it.”
“My lips are sealed,” Jenna said, the corners of her mouth turning up just a bit.
“To tell the truth, Jenna, I asked them not to tell me whatever they found out about you. I told them I wanted to be your friend, and that I’d always feel guilty if I learned your secrets before you chose to share them. There’ve been a few times when I reconsidered that, but I never did ask, and they never did tell.”
“I love you Meg, do you know that?” Jenna said, surprising herself with the sudden outburst. Meg looked a bit surprised too, but also pleased.
“No, Sugar, I didn’t know that, but I do now and it makes me real happy because I love you, too.”
“You do?”
“Course I do,” Meg replied, blinking back tears at Jenna’s unfeigned surprise at learning someone loved her.
“Thank you, Meg,” Jenna said, unable to stop the tears this time. She freed her hand from Meg’s to reach for a napkin and dabbed at her eyes. “Would you do me a favor?”
“Of course.”
“Ask Hank and Jack to tell you what they know about me. All of it.”
“You sure you don’t wanna tell me yourself?”
“I do want to, Meg, honestly, but I can’t,” Jenna said helplessly. “I’ve tried so many times to tell you. Not just right now, but other times too. I just can’t make the words come out of my mouth. But I need you to know. I’ve got something else to tell you, but I can’t do that until you know this other stuff first. If you still want to be my friend after you hear what they have to say, that is.”
“Huh,” Meg said with a glint in her eye. “There’s nothing anyone could ever tell me that would change the way I feel about you, Jenna James, so you just remember that.”
“I’ll try, Meg, I promise.”
“All right then,” Meg said with a firm nod. “I’ll ask my men to spill the beans tonight, then I’ll bring us each one of my special omelets in the morning and you can tell me whatever it is you have to say while we eat. Deal?”
“Deal,” Jenna said, then blew out a relieved breath.
A few minutes later Hank and Jack watched through the window as Jenna cross
ed the street. “What was that about?” Jack asked when Meg joined them.
“Jenna has decided to trust me,” Meg said, fighting back tears again as she watched Jenna’s forlorn figure in the gathering dusk.
“Thank God,” Hank said while Jack muttered, “About damn time.”
“Only problem is, she can’t bring herself to tell me whatever it is you two dug up on her.”
Hank nodded. “That’s not a surprise. She gave us what we needed to know to find the information ourselves because she couldn’t tell us.”
“Well, she wants me to ask you two to tell me what you know tonight. Then I’ll go over to her place in the morning and she’ll tell me whatever’s going on with her right now.”
“She needs you to know the past before she tells you what’s happening now?” Hank asked. Meg nodded.
“That’s troubling,” Jack said.
“Is it?” Meg asked. They both nodded, worried expressions on their faces. “Then you two better get to talking.”
***
The next morning a very subdued Meg carried two take-out containers across the street and up the back stairs to Jenna’s apartment. She didn’t even get a chance to knock before Jenna opened the door and let her in.
“Morning Meg,” she said nervously after shutting the door.
Meg looked at her and sighed before setting the containers down. Then she wrapped her arms around Jenna and held onto her for a long time. She felt Jenna crying silently, but she didn’t say anything. She just held her. When Jenna stepped back they both had tears on their faces, but neither of them mentioned it. They went into the kitchen and Jenna got the coffee while Meg opened the containers holding their omelets and grabbed some forks from the drawer. Then they both sat down at the table.
“You know all of it now?” Jenna asked, staring into her coffee cup.
“I do,” Meg said. “Can’t say I understand why in the world you’d ever think I wouldn’t wanna be your friend for knowing it, but that’s okay. I still love you. Now, let’s have the rest.”
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