by Sykes, Julia
Anger rose up in me, caustic and unrelenting. I couldn’t let anyone say anything against Bradley. He had been there for me since we were in diapers, and there was no way that I was going to let anyone talk shit about him. “Listen, doc,” I said disrespectfully and not at all playfully, “I never want to hear you say a bad word about Bradley again. Understand?”
I unleashed the full force of my menace on her, demanding her compliance. Her breathing hitched, but to my amazement, she lifted her chin and stared at me defiantly.
Her challenge awoke something dark within me, the part of myself that I reluctantly embraced only because it refused to be denied. I fixed her in my forbidding glare, willing her to drop her gaze in deference to me. I wasn’t going to give her the option to do otherwise. But her grey eyes were still clashing with mine, refusing to surrender. Savage, lustful thoughts of taking her in my grip and forcing her to yield to me began to cloud my mind.
Our silent battle of wills was shattered when Bradley came bursting into the room.
“What the fuck is going on in here?” He demanded. “I heard raised voices.” He glowered at Claudia. “Are you upsetting him, doc?” He asked, a dangerous edge to his voice.
“It’s Claudia,” she snapped, still full of fire despite his threatening tone. “And he seems to be upsetting himself.”
My mind was two steps behind, caught up in disgust at my twisted desires that I had been fantasizing about turning against her. Just how sick was I? Although I found it irresistible, I had always been a bit uneasy with that dark part of myself. And now I was envisioning unleashing it on her? A woman who couldn’t escape me? I was pretty sure that that was called rape.
Bradley started to advance on her, and I snapped out of my self-loathing in order to come to her defense.
“Bradley!” I said his name sharply. “It’s fine, okay? The doc here was just being a bit snippy.” I said it disparagingly. My gut was urging me to defend her, but I didn’t want to fight with Bradley. And I had the feeling that challenging him directly would only make him more hateful towards her.
Bradley stopped in his tracks, turning his glare on me instead. “I won’t let the bitch upset you,” he said roughly.
I forced out a derisive laugh. “I think I can handle a few barbed comments from a hysterical woman.”
Claudia’s brows drew down, and she opened her mouth as though to speak, no doubt ready to give me a piece of her undeniably formidable mind.
Bradley cut her off with a warning growl. “You had better keep your mouth shut if you know what’s good for you.”
She still looked like she wanted to hurl toxic words my way, but she wisely pursed her lips and held them in. Bradley glared for a moment longer, ensuring that she would keep her silence. When he was satisfied, he shrugged and turned to me.
“I got some painkillers for you, buddy,” he said, his voice suddenly gentle. I gratefully reached for the pills and the glass of water that he offered to me.
“What are those?” Claudia demanded. The bossy doctor was back. Intimidated or not, she clearly didn’t stay down for long.
“Oxycodone,” Bradley snapped at her. “You have a problem with that?”
“Where did you get that?” She asked, her tone curious and more than a touch authoritative.
I held my breath for a moment, worried that Bradley might reveal to her that we were in the Irish mob. But he seemed to have the good sense not to fill her in on everything. She was still a potential threat, and she didn’t need to know anything more about us.
“None of your business,” he said dismissively.
I swallowed down the pills, relieved that the pain would soon abate. Toying with Claudia had distracted me from it, but now I became acutely aware of it once again.
“Thanks, man,” I said gratefully.
“Ummm…” Claudia said hesitantly. I looked over and was amazed to see that she was blushing. The color against her pale skin was enchanting. My mind flicked to other ways that I might make her blush…
Stop that! I ordered myself harshly, disturbed at the lustful thoughts that she was eliciting from me.
“What is it now?” Bradley asked her shortly, his patience clearly wearing thin.
“I need the bathroom,” she admitted, dropping her eyes in embarrassment.
Bradley blinked. “Oh.” He paused, considering for a moment.
Really, Bradley? I thought derisively. What did he think she was going to do? Hold it indefinitely?
I cleared my throat pointedly to catch his attention, raising an eyebrow at him expectantly.
“Fine,” he snapped, realizing that he didn’t really have any other options. He pulled the handcuff key from his pocket and released her from the restraints. I saw her sigh in relief as she was freed from their cruel bite. My jaw clenched. No way was I going to let my friend cuff her again.
Bradley patted at the bulge in his waistband where he stowed the gun. “Don’t try anything stupid,” he warned her.
Claudia’s scowl mirrored my own.
She winced as she pushed herself to her feet, her movements stilted as her cramped muscles protested. I pressed my lips together to hold back the angry words that I wanted to hurl at Bradley for causing her that discomfort.
My frown only deepened when he positioned himself behind her, giving her a push in the small of her back that sent her stumbling forward. “This way,” he instructed, his voice gruff.
I was going to have to have a talk with him about the way he was treating her. Did he want to make her life as miserable as possible?
I was amazed when she regained her balance and walked out of the room with her head held high. She might be physically fragile, but there was strength in the woman that impressed me deeply.
I lay there for long minutes, almost dreading her return. My mind was whirring, my thoughts a tangled mess as I considered my frankly disturbing lustful reactions to her. Okay, so I was attracted to her. What man wouldn’t be? And it didn’t help that she had been on my bed with me. I generally associated a woman in my bed with a good fuck. Of course I was going to have lustful thoughts about her. And her bossy-doctor persona was charming, the challenge luring me in. Not to mention the allure of the pain that I had seen in her eyes, something that my soul recognized and longed to reach out to.
But nothing had ever been more wrong.
When she returned to me, I felt both relief and torment. At least I wasn’t left alone with my dark thoughts, but now her beauty struck me all over again. Being with her and resisting keeping my hands off her was going to be torture.
Bradley grabbed her wrist hard, pulling the cuffs out of his pocket as he jerked her arm towards the bedpost.
Her small cry of pain made my heart twist.
“Please,” she said desperately. “Don’t do that. It hurts.”
The sight of Bradley cracking her strong demeanor made me feel sick. And furious.
“I don’t-” Bradley began coldly.
“Don’t bother, Bradley,” I cut across him. I forced my features to nonchalance, needing to defend her but not set Bradley off. “There’s no need to do that. You think I can’t handle one clearly fragile woman?”
I saw Claudia scowl at me out of the corner of my eye, but I kept my gaze locked on my friend. He stood his ground, and she hissed in pain as he tightened his grip.
“You’re insulting me, buddy,” I said. My tone was light and joking, but I knew that I hadn’t been successful in fully masking my fury.
I held back a sigh of relief when Bradley finally released her. For a moment, Claudia looked at me gratefully, but her face was quickly schooled to a hard mask as her hatred for me came flooding back.
The sight of it cut me to the core.
“I’ll be right outside,” Bradley told her threateningly as he left the room. “If you try anything stupid, I’ll cuff you again.”
She swallowed hard, but that was the only physical sign that betrayed her fear. She nodded and folded her arms across her chest in a s
how of defiance. Despite her tough stance, she still looked so breakable that it made my heart hurt.
I wanted to distract her, to distract myself from the harsh reality of our situation. I patted the bed beside me.
“Sit down, doc,” I ordered, struggling for a casual tone. As though we were friends sitting down for a chat. Only, I didn’t have any friends. Well, no one other than Bradley. And I was pretty sure that Claudia didn’t want to talk about tits and football. So I would have to settle for talking to her like I did to all women: cocky bordering on rudeness.
She just glared at me, completely unaffected by my charms. “I’d rather not,” she said drily. “And I thought I told you to call me Dr. Ellers.”
Damn, this woman was spirited. She was certainly going to keep me on my toes. I couldn’t hold back a satisfied grin. “Sit down, Claudia,” I re-phrased, giving her an inch.
And still, she held her glare.
God, she was cute when she tried to stare me down like that. But she didn’t know what she was doing, what that defiant stance was awakening within me. I couldn’t help chuckling, pleased at the challenge. But I had forgotten about my goddamn shoulder, and I stopped laughing instantly.
“You should try not to laugh. Avoid sudden movements,” she advised.
Okay, so maybe her bossy manner was cute, but talking down to me by stating the obvious went a little too far. “No shit, doc,” I ground out.
She just frowned at me, her demeanor forbidding.
After a moment, I gave in, rolling my eyes. “No shit, Claudia,” I corrected. Then I yawned, suddenly exhausted. “Your antagonism is wearing me out. That can’t be good for my health,” I teased.
“That’s the oxycodone,” she explained. Her tone was clinical, but there was a small smile playing around the corners of her mouth. It made her dimple stand out in a way that I found adorable. “You should rest more,” she said, her voice kind if a touch condescending.
“You’re a lot bossier than most of the women I find handcuffed to my bed, you know,” I joked. Internally, I cursed myself as soon as the words had left my mouth. Had I really just made a sexual innuendo? Definitely not a good way to make her feel comfortable around me. Not to mention that reminding her of the handcuffs was probably not the smoothest thing I could have done. Even more unsettling, I had given her a glimpse into that darker side of myself by making the admission.
But for some reason, her lips only quirked up further. So I kept my expression cool and confident in order to cover my moment of self-doubt. I patted the bed beside me again. “Now sit down,” I said more insistently. “Watching you stand there all tense is making me tired.”
“You should be tired,” she said, but she settled down beside me as though she couldn’t help herself. Was it possible that she truly wasn’t frightened of me? Still, I noticed that she was perched on the edge of the mattress, putting as much space between us as humanly possible.
“I won’t bite you, you know,” I cracked another joke to make her feel more at ease. I turned up the charm a notch. “Not unless you want me to, that is. I’d be quite happy-”
“Not in a million years,” she said sharply, her expression turning quickly from amused to hostile. “Now, before you go off into some drug-induced lucid fantasy, let’s get something straight: You are not to touch me in any way. You may think that your eighth-grade flirting is cute, but it’s pretty fucked up considering that the only reason I’m in your bedroom is that you won’t allow me to leave. So whatever your perverted little mind is imagining, don’t let your fantasy include me as a willing participant.”
Fuck. Why did I keep doing this? Was it literally impossible for me to go five minutes without making a pass at her? I was utterly off-balance when it came to her. And now she had pretty much accused me of fantasizing about raping her.
The thought made me go cold. It was all the more cutting because I had been fantasizing about her. And some of those fantasies did involve her struggling against me as I held her down, taking her, forcing her to melt under my touch…
But never unwillingly. The mere idea of it made my stomach turn.
I couldn’t meet her eye. What could I possibly say? It seemed that I was incapable of saying anything to her without putting my foot in my mouth. “Claudia, I....” I trailed off, at a loss.
“You what, Sean?” She asked angrily, hurling my name out like a curse.
“I’m sorry,” I said quietly, forcing myself to meet her eye. I at least owed her that. “I’m sorry I can’t let you leave.” And I meant it. Being trapped with me was clearly going to be a miserable experience for her.
“But you can,” she said, her eyes lighting up with hope as she sensed my weakness. “I promise I won’t tell-”
“You just can’t, Claudia!” The words came out harshly, my anger and frustration with myself bleeding into them. No, not just anger. Rage. Self-loathing. My expression must have been intimidating because she scooted away from me as far as she could without falling off the bed. I felt a flicker of regret as I realized that I was frightening her. It was the last thing that I wanted, but maybe it was better that way. I couldn’t keep fucking everything up every time I opened my mouth if she didn’t want to speak to me.
But then her back straightened, and she held her ground, her blazing eyes meeting mine in a silent challenge. “You should get some rest,” she said, no trace of her earlier kindness in her tone.
She was glaring at me again, defiant. That dark part of myself, the part of me that craved control, couldn’t help but rise in response. I returned her stare, lust beginning to stir within me as her will clashed against mine. But she would cede. I wouldn’t allow her anything else. I might admire her strength, but that made the idea of her submission all the sweeter. She met the challenge for long moments, but then the telltale signs started to show: her eyes darkened, her pupils dilating as her breaths turned fast and shallow. That delicious pink was coloring her cheeks again, further stirring the flames within me. She shivered slightly, the effect of my bearing beginning to overwhelm her as something deep within her responded to me. Her body began slowly inching towards mine, as though she was unable to help herself. I reveled in the heady sensation of her bending to my will.
Her eyes widened suddenly, shock driving away the lust in their grey depths. She jerked away from me, and the erotic tension that had been building between us was snapped abruptly.
God damn it! Hadn’t I just told myself that I was going to keep my distance, frighten her into staying away from me? And now, what? I was actively luring her in, drawing her under my power. And she had reacted to me. How was I possibly going to keep my distance when I knew that the attraction was mutual? I had never felt such a strong pull towards a woman. I couldn’t understand what it was about her that affected me so intensely. Yes, she was beautiful, intelligent, and stubborn as hell.
Isn’t that reason enough? I asked myself. But it was more than that. Even if the rest of my life was utterly out of my hands, I always exercised iron control when it came to women. I should be able to hold myself back. Maybe it was the fact that her blood ran through my veins? I could almost feel my heart beating in time with hers. My gaze zeroed in on the delicate vein at her throat, which still pulsing faster than it should be. I wanted to trace my tongue along the line of it, sink my teeth into the soft flesh where her neck met her shoulder…
I bit back a groan of frustration.
“You should get some rest,” she said again. When she spoke, the husky tone in her voice hinted at residual desire. The sound of it made my cock pulse.
“Claudia…” I trailed off. What was I going to say?
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to find the control that seemed to have utterly deserted me. In the darkness, I found my pain again. I almost welcomed it. At least it overrode the ache of my carnal torment. I focused on it, letting it consume me, letting it burn away all of my jumbled thoughts.
Before I knew what was happening, I was pul
led under, the drugs mercifully kicking in and granting me release from this hellish new reality.
Agony exploded across my shoulder as his belt buckle lashed across my back, cutting into my skin as the weight of it caused pain to reverberate through my bones. I cowered on the floor, curling into a ball to protect myself as best I could. Tears were streaming down my face. I was weak, pathetic.
Then she was between us, shielding my body with hers. But he didn’t stay his hand. She screamed as the belt came down on her, hard and merciless. He was hurting her again, she was sacrificing herself for my sake. And there was nothing I could do to stop it.
I begged him to stop, hating myself for how desperate, how powerless I sounded. But he didn’t. It seemed to go on and on. I looked up into my mother’s eyes where she was crouching over me protectively. They were deadened, no light left behind them.
Something warm was touching my hand, grasping it and pulling me up to my feet. The heat of it seemed to scorch away the images that haunted me, driving away the sight of my tortured past with a blinding white light. I basked in the glow, all the tension leaving me.
I breathed in the scent of cotton and roses.
Safe.
Chapter 3
As I stirred, I breathed in that intoxicating feminine scent. Her soft, warm body was pressed up against mine. My already semi-hard cock pulsed as I responded to her instantly. I heard her let out a little happy sigh, and for that moment between sleep and wakefulness, I was perfectly content.
The mattress shifted suddenly, jarring me awake. I opened my eyes, and my gaze was drawn to her like a magnet. She was sitting up stiffly, her back pressed against the headboard. And she was staring, wide-eyed, at the obvious bulge in my jeans. Her tongue darted out to lick her lips, and I had to suppress a groan at the sight of it.
Shit.
I felt a moment of embarrassment, ashamed at getting an erection in her presence. Especially when the sight of my arousal was probably the most terrifying thing that I could inflict upon her. But damn it if she didn’t look turned on at the sight of me.
