‘Sixteen and oh so innocent to the world around her.’ Curtis fluttered his eyelashes. ‘I may be the first openly gay person you’ve met, but I’ll bet you’ve met loads of us. You just haven’t realised it. In fact, they’ve probably not realised it themselves. At our age, some know and accept it, some don’t realise it yet, and some are very aware, but are fighting their calling.’
‘Their calling?’ I laughed. ‘You make it sound like they’re joining the Priesthood or something.’
‘Many of us do,’ Curtis whispered. ‘Don’t say you don’t know that either.’
I wasn’t sure whether he was being serious, but I did know that after just a few hours of knowing Curtis, I’d found a truly fabulous and fascinating friend who was going to add a little colour to A-Level History classes.
After five years of familiar surroundings at my small comprehensive with Sarah by my side, starting at Sixth Form College with students from eight feeder schools had been pretty overwhelming. My heart had sunk when I’d looked down the list for my history class and realised I knew nobody. I’d loitered in the doorway before my first lesson that morning, clinging onto my bag and trying to assess whether any of the natives were friendly, when I felt a tug on my sleeve.
‘You simply have to make my day by sitting next to me so I can gaze at that fabulous red hair.’
I self-consciously grasped at my auburn curls as I looked into a pair of pleading eyes.
‘We gingers must stick together,’ he whispered, leading me to an empty pair of desks and indicating for me to sit down.
‘But your hair’s purple.’
‘I know. I’m a traitor to our kind. I could prove I’m ginger, but I’m hoping you won’t make me. It would embarrass the hell out of you and it wouldn’t do much for me. Girls aren’t exactly my thing. The purple’s temporary. I felt I needed to make a bold statement for my first week in a new college, new town and new country.’
‘You’ve just moved here?’
‘At the weekend. Traumatic parental divorce and I’ve been dragged over the border so my mum can seek solace with her parents who retired here.’
‘Welcome to Whitsborough Bay,’ I said. ‘And welcome to the divorced parents club.’
‘You too?’
‘Last year and not a moment too soon, although my parents still live in the same house — just separate bedrooms — so it’s still like living in a war zone.’
He frowned. ‘Very strange. Clearly we have loads in common. Might as well do the formal intro thing before the lesson starts. Curtis Duncan McBride,’ he said, offering his hand. ‘I’m ginger and proud so don’t let the purple deceive you. I’m Scottish, but I think the accent gives it away. I’m gay, but you’ve probably guessed that. I’m a Virgo…’ He winked ‘… by star sign only… and I’m a vegetarian although I do eat fish and chicken. Oh, and I’m the biggest drama queen you’ll ever meet. What about you?’
I smiled. I’d play him at his game. ‘Elise Karen Morgan. I’m ginger and also proud, although I prefer to think of it as auburn or red. I’m local, but I think the accent gives it away. I’ve got a boyfriend called Gary who I’ve been with since I was fourteen. I’m a Pisces… by star sign only… and a vegetarian too, except I’m a real vegetarian because I don’t eat fish or chicken. Oh, and I want to be an English and Drama teacher so I’m all for a bit of drama in my life.’
Curtis giggled and clapped his hands. ‘Feisty with a sense of humour. I love it. You and I are going to be such good friends, Elise Karen Morgan.’
‘I’m still not convinced about this gaydar thing.’ I stabbed a cherry tomato with my fork and pointed it at Curtis. ‘How about you prove it to me.’
‘Okay, you’ve laid down the gauntlet, Red, and I accept. Let’s do it now.’
‘In the canteen?’
‘It’s the perfect place for people-watching. Lots of interactions to observe.’
I worked on my salad as Curtis gazed around the canteen in silence for about five minutes. ‘My work is done,’ he said, closing his eyes momentarily.
‘How many?’
‘Four so far.’
‘Really? Who?’
Curtis guided me through his choices. He admitted that the ‘gay and proud’ T-Shirt one of them was wearing was a slight clue, but the others were purely on observing chemistry alone and, when I watched, I could see exactly what he meant.
‘I’ll admit your gaydar seems pretty impressive, but I don’t know any of those boys so I’ll probably never find out if you’re right or not. I’m not going to wander over and ask them outright if that’s what you’re thinking.’
‘You don’t need to, Red. Believe me, I am right,’ Curtis insisted. ‘Oh, and I’ve just spotted another one. And we’ve saved the best till last by a mile. Hello, young man! Please be single and looking for a bit of drama in your life.’
‘Who?’
‘Picking up a tray over there. Jeans, Doc Martens, black shirt, dark hair, smouldering good looks.’
I stared across the canteen, and when I spotted whom he meant, I had to bite my lip to keep the smirk off my face.
‘So what is it about Doc Martens that makes you think he’s gay?’ I asked.
‘Three things straight off.’ Curtis counted them on his fingers. ‘The leather bracelets, the way he walks, and the way he can’t take his eyes off the wee fella in the denim jacket four ahead of him in the queue.’
I couldn’t help giggling. ‘What if I told you he’s wearing leather bracelets because his girlfriend brought them back for him from her holidays, he might be walking a little differently because he got injured in a bad hockey tackle last night, and the “wee fella in the denim jacket” is his best mate, Dean.’
‘You know him?’ Curtis looked surprised. ‘And he’s got a girlfriend?
‘Yes to both questions.’
‘Is the girlfriend a recent thing?’
‘We’ve been together for nearly two years.’
His face fell. ‘He’s your boyfriend?’
I nodded and patted his arm gently. ‘I think your gaydar may need some fine-tuning now that you’ve crossed the border. I think it’s still in Scottish frequency. Sorry to disappoint, but I saw him first and, believe me, Gary is definitely not gay. I think I’d know if he was.’
‘Of course you would.’ Curtis laughed awkwardly. ‘I hope I haven’t embarrassed you by lusting after your fella. My gaydar is only right about half the time. I was trying to be too clever. I think I’m just going to get a yogurt. You want anything? No? Back in a mo.’
Curtis nearly over-turned his chair in an effort to escape. Poor lad was obviously very embarrassed, but I was quite flattered. Gary was a catch and Curtis definitely wouldn’t be the first or last male to fall for those ‘smouldering good looks’. I watched as Gary made his way over to our table, his dark eyes fixed on mine. He crinkled his nose and smiled his sexy smile.
‘Hi Li.’ He bent over and kissed me softly on the lips then sat down opposite me. Hmmm. Definitely not gay. Very gorgeous and very mine. ‘How was your first history class? Make any friends?’
I smiled. ‘One so far. A very interesting purple-haired gay Scot called Curtis.’
Gary frowned. ‘Gay? How do you know he’s gay?’
‘He just came out with it. And you’re not going to believe what else he came out with.’
Gary shrugged. ‘No idea. What?’ He opened his can of cola and took a swig.
‘He’s been using his gaydar to tell me who he thinks is gay and he singled you out. Can you believe that?’
Gary coughed and spat his drink on the table. ‘He did what?’
‘He picked you out as being gay.’ The colour drained from his cheeks. ‘Hey, don’t look so worried,’ I said, handing him a couple of napkins. ‘I told him you weren’t gay and that you were with me. Not that being gay is anythin
g to be embarrassed about.’
‘Do you think he believed you?’
‘Of course he did! He admitted his gaydar isn’t always right.’
Gary looked around the canteen. ‘Where is he now?’
‘Gone to get a yogurt. He’ll be back any second. I can introduce you.’
‘Sorry, Li.’ He stood up. ‘I can’t stop. I’ve just remembered a meeting with the hockey coach.’
‘Oh. Okay. Will I see you later?’
‘I’ve got that thing with my mum after school.’
‘What thing?’
‘The thing. With the vicar. I’m sure I told you.’
I shrugged. It didn’t sound familiar, but it was very possible he’d told me and I’d not been concentrating. I tended to switch off when he talked about his mother; not one of my favourite people. If there was an award for crappiest mother of the decade, it would be a tightly-fought contest between mine and his.
‘I’ll see you tomorrow, Li.’ He kissed me gently on the head then picked up his tray still laden with his uneaten lunch.
‘Gary,’ I called, as he turned to leave.
‘What?’
‘I love you.’
He smiled. ‘Love you too, Li.’
I grinned as I watched him leave the canteen, butterflies fluttering in my stomach. After two years, he still had the same effect on me, especially when he called me Li. I wouldn’t let anyone else shorten my name, not even Sarah. Speaking of which, where was she? Feeling conspicuously alone, I scanned the canteen. I couldn’t see Curtis anywhere, but thankfully spotted Sarah with Beth, a new friend we’d made in English Language. I waved them over.
‘I’ve got this new friend, Curtis, from my history class,’ I said as Sarah and Beth sat down. ‘You won’t believe what he said about Gary…’
Three nights later, Gary suggested we skip our usual Friday night cinema trip and go for a walk along South Beach. It was a lovely warm September evening — far too nice to spend cooped up in a cinema — so I was more than happy to oblige.
I kicked off my flip-flops and wiggled my toes in the cool sand. ‘I’m so glad it’s finally Friday.’ I hooked my arm through Gary’s. ‘I feel like I’ve barely seen you this week. Are you okay?’
He squeezed my arm against his side. ‘I’m fine, Li. I’ve just been a bit busy with starting college and everything.’
We walked slowly in silence, a gentle breeze flapping my long skirt around my legs. When we reached the caves, I stopped and turned to face him. ‘Gary, is there something bothering you?’ My stomach churned in anticipation of the answer. What if he’d met someone else already? What if I seemed dull and unattractive compared to the myriad of new faces at college?
He tugged on his left earlobe. Why was he nervous? Was he about to dump me?
‘You can tell me,’ I encouraged, although I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear it.
‘That thing your Scottish friend, Curtis, said earlier this week about his… about me being…’
‘Gay?’
Gary cleared his throat. ‘Yeah, that. Who else knows about it?’
‘Only Sarah. Why?’
He tugged on his earlobe again. ‘I think there’s a rumour going round college. Ever since Tuesday afternoon, when I’ve walked into a room, it’s gone silent and there’s been lots of whispering and giggling. I’m hoping I’m just being paranoid. Are you sure only you and Sarah know?’
I put my hand over my mouth. ‘No! Another girl, Beth, was there too. Sorry, Gary.’
‘It’s not your fault, Li. If anything, I blame Curtis, the stupid…’ Gary thankfully stopped mid-flow. I hated it when he swore and I sensed a pretty nasty expletive had been on its way. ‘He wants to think before he opens his big gob and starts unfounded rumours about people he’s never even met.’
‘I don’t think he was trying to cause any trouble. It was just a bit of harmless fun, and he had no idea who you were.’
‘If it’s only the end of our first week there yet the entire sixth form thinks I’m gay, that’s hardly a bit of harmless fun, is it?’
‘But you’re not gay so does it matter?’
‘Of course it does, Li. I hate being centre of attention anywhere except the hockey pitch. You know that.’ He took a deep shuddery breath and looked so vulnerable that I wrapped my arms round him and held him. For someone so gorgeous — and therefore inclined to draw attention as soon as he entered a room — Gary was exceptionally shy. Being the subject of a rumour and having everyone staring and talking about him would be killing him.
‘I’ve just had the craziest idea.’ I released Gary and took a step back. ‘If a rumour really has gone round that you’re gay, I know a way we can quash it.’
His eyes lit up with hope. ‘Li, I’d be happy to hear any suggestions — no matter how crazy they are — before the whole town hears about it. And, particularly, before my mum hears about it. You know how homophobic she is. You saw what her racist views did to my brother. What’s your crazy idea?’
‘You could ask me to marry you.’ The second the words left my mouth, I wanted to swallow them straight back down. Had I really just said that? It was right up there with me being the first to say, ‘I love you’. Why did I always push for that little bit more?
Gary took a step back, mouth open, eyes wide, looking totally shell-shocked. Not quite the reaction I was hoping for, but at least he hadn’t run a mile. Yet.
‘It was a joke, Gary,’ I said quickly. ‘Not a very good one either. Maybe we could do a major PDA in the middle of the canteen on Monday? Or maybe we could… why are you looking at me like that?’
Gary wore a half smile on his lips, but his dark eyes sparkled with tears. ‘You’d really do that for me, Li?’
‘Do what?’ My voice caught in my throat.
‘Get engaged to stop a stupid rumour.’
I hesitated. Was it honesty time? Yes. I hoped it was the right approach and I wasn’t about to scare him away. ‘It’s a bit sooner than I imagined, but I always hoped it would happen one day. If you do too, why don’t we just go for it and quash that rumour? Say something, Gary. Please.’
Gary took a deep breath then got down on one knee in the sand. He took my left hand in his. ‘You’re the most beautiful, amazing, kind-hearted, generous girl I’ve ever met and, if you’re absolutely sure, I’d love to marry you. Shall we do it?’
I grinned and nodded. ‘Yes. Go on, then.’
Chapter 5
Present Day
I sat for another hour or two replaying that first week at college in my mind. I picked up my Blackberry again.
* To Curtis
Sorry it’s been a while and sorry to text so late. Remember what you said about Gary shortly after we met? Turns out you may have been right. I need your advice.
Two minutes later, my phone rang. ‘Hi Curtis,’ I managed before my voice cracked and the floodgates finally opened.
It was past midnight when I disconnected Curtis’s call. He hadn’t been able to offer any words of comfort. What words were there in a situation like this? At least he’d stopped short of saying ‘I told you so,’ which, for someone as tactless as Curtis, must have taken considerable restraint.
I rolled my shoulders to relieve the tension from holding a phone to my ear for the past hour or so. Shivering slightly, I pulled my jacket more tightly across my chest. A car pulled into the car park and reversed into the space behind me, the headlights dazzling me as they bounced off my rear-view mirror. I squinted and waited for the driver to switch the lights off but, instead, they applied full-beam. I shivered again, but not from the cold this time. It was late. It was dark. It was deserted. It really wasn’t the place for a lone female to be. I started Bertie’s engine and pulled out of the car park, praying that the car wouldn’t follow. Thankfully it didn’t.
Where was I going? There
were only three people I knew locally in whom I could confide who wouldn’t treat it as the gossip of the century, but none of them were options. I could hardly turn up at Sarah’s on the night of her engagement, could I? Jess and Lee were visiting friends in Leeds and staying overnight, and Kay had party guests staying at hers. I had no choice. I had to go home.
As I steered Bertie back into Fountains Close, my heart raced. What if Rob was still there? No. Gary had said in his text that he’d gone. I just hoped he hadn’t been lying.
The house was in darkness. With any luck, Gary would have gone to bed and I could slip into the spare room unnoticed.
I parked Bertie next to the Lexus and gently closed the door behind me. I tiptoed up the drive, slowly turned the key in the lock, and tried to close the door behind me quietly, but failed. The hall light flicked on and Gary ran towards me, arms outstretched.
‘Li! Thank God!’ He wrapped his arms around me and drew me to his chest where I could feel his heart racing. ‘I’ve been out of my mind with worry.’
I remained rigid in his arms.
He squeezed me tightly. ‘You’re freezing. Where have you been? Are you okay? Do you want a cup of tea? Something stronger?’
‘I want tonight never to have happened,’ I whispered.
Gary released his hold and took a step back. ‘I’m so sorry, Li. It shouldn’t have happened.’
My legs felt weak. I sat down on the stairs and looked up into the face I loved. ‘Then why did it, Gary? Why? I don’t understand. Please help me understand.’
He looked down at his feet and shrugged. ‘I can’t.’ He looked up again. ‘I can’t because I don’t understand either.’
I stared into his dark eyes, took a deep breath, and asked the question I didn’t want to ask for fear of the answer: ‘Are you gay?’
He kept his eyes on me. ‘I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore.’
Getting over Gary (Whitsborough Bay Trilogy Book 2) Page 4
