‘You really think so?’ Tears sprung in Gary’s eyes again.
‘I know so.’ I reached out and lightly touched his arm. ‘Let’s just pretend this conversation never happened.’
Gary nodded.
‘Don’t ever put a proposition like that to me again,’ I said. ‘I may desperately want a baby, but if it happens, it’ll be with someone who loves me and who’ll be around as a father and as a husband. It won’t be to keep up appearances.’
‘I’m sorry. Thanks, Li. I’ve really screwed things up, haven’t I? Not just today.’
I nodded. ‘Quite spectacularly as it happens. Look, Gary, you’ll always hold a special place in my heart, so it hurts me to see you in this state. Look at the house. Look at yourself. Look at the crazy places your mind is taking you. You’re better than this. You said I look well, but don’t let a different hairstyle deceive you into thinking I’ve found it easy to walk away. I’m devastated that our marriage is over, but the last few weeks has given me the time and space to realise that the last couple of years together have been tough. Really tough. So, in some ways, I’m relieved it’s over. I’m equally devastated that we haven’t had the family that we planned to have, but I’m relieved about that too because it’s less complicated.’
‘I should never have let it go on so long, should I?’
‘Let’s not go there, shall we? What’s done is done.’
‘Sorry.’ He held out his hand. ‘Friends?’
I stared at his hand, but kept mine firmly by my side as I shook my head. ‘I’m sorry, Gary, but I can’t give you that. Not yet. Friends support each other through tough times and I can’t support you through this. It’s hard enough getting through it myself. To put it bluntly, you’ve lied to me, you’ve betrayed me, and you’ve taken away my hopes and plans for the future. Friends don’t do that.’
‘You hate me, then?’
‘Of course I don’t hate you, Gary, although I did when I found you together. I really hated you both at that moment, but I’ve got past that initial shock, and that’s not how I feel about you now. I’ll always love you, but I don’t like you very much at the moment. You have to know somebody to like them and I don’t know you anymore. I’d like to think that one day we can re-build some sort of friendship, but for now I need time and space. I asked you once before to stop texting me and you ignored it. I mean it this time. I really need you to stop getting in touch. I need you to let me fully get over us and build a new life for myself. Once I’ve done that, we can consider whether friendship might be back on the cards. Okay?’
‘Okay.’ He put his hands in his pockets and looked down at the floor. It hurt to see him so down, but it also felt so good to be finally standing up to him. My mother was wrong. I wasn’t that much of a pushover. Well, not anymore I wasn’t. It would have been so easy to say yes to his offer of moving back in and having a baby, but I was stronger than that now. Much stronger.
I pushed my shoulders back and stood even taller. ‘I’m going now, but there are two more things I have to say. Firstly, I don’t want to kick you when you’re down, but you probably won’t be surprised to know that I’ve seen a solicitor. I want a divorce and I need you to do whatever’s necessary to make it a speedy one. I think you owe me that, don’t you? Will you promise to co-operate?’
Gary nodded. ‘I never thought I’d be divorcing you, Li.’
‘You’re not,’ I snapped. ‘I’m divorcing you.’ I sighed then added in a gentler tone, ‘Sorry, but you asked for that. Will you co-operate with the speedy divorce?’
He ran a hand over his beard then nodded. ‘I promise. I’ll find a solicitor and ensure everything’s handled quickly.’
‘Thank you.’
‘I’m so sorry. For everything.’
‘I know.’ I lifted my bag onto my shoulder. ‘I need to go now. Make it up with Rob. I think your present state of mind is more about what’s going on with you two than us two, isn’t it?’
Gary didn’t answer.
‘Can I make a suggestion, Gary? Don’t tell Rob what we talked about, will you? There’s no need to hurt him too. Make sure he knows that you don’t love me anymore and it’s him you want before you lose him too.’
Gary nodded then followed me down the hall to the front door. ‘You said there were two things you wanted to say…?’
‘Oh yes. I don’t want to live here again, but I can’t stay with Kay forever so I need my share of the house. It’s up to you whether you sell up or buy me out. I’ll give you until next weekend to decide. Okay?’
‘Okay.’
‘Goodbye, Gary.’ I opened the door then hesitated on the doorstep. I gazed down at the rings on the third finger of my left hand. It was time. We weren’t husband and wife, we weren’t lovers, we weren’t even friends. And we certainly weren’t going to be parents together. They no longer represented the future to me. I had a new future to write. I lifted them off my finger. ‘These are yours.’ I placed the three rings in his hand.
Gary looked down at them, his hands shaking slightly. ‘No, Li. Please don’t do that.’
‘You’ll find the boxes in the top drawer of the dressing table.’
‘They’re yours. I know we’ve split up, but I want you to keep them.’ He tried to hand them back to me, but I backed down the path and onto the drive.
‘I can’t keep them, Gary. I don’t care whether you want me to. The important thing is that I don’t want to.’ Because that part of my life was now over and, somehow, I needed to find the strength to start over again. New home. New life. New routine. New beginnings. ‘Text me when you’ve made your mind up about the house.’
I heard his strangled sob as I opened Bertie’s door. It took every ounce of strength I had not to rush back and scream ‘yes’ to his offer because what if I was walking away from my one and only opportunity to have a baby? The thought absolutely terrified me. But so did the thought of having a baby and being forever connected to the man I’d loved and trusted since I was fourteen who’d lied to me all my life. And that fear was even greater.
Chapter 12
* From Curtis
Get your dancing pants on, Red. I’ve got cover for the salon tomorrow so I’m on my way right now. Meet me at the station at 8, ready to go. If you don’t look slutty, you’ll be marched home to change, so choose carefully! xx
‘Curtis!’ I flung my arms round him. He picked me up and spun me in a circle in the middle of the platform. I patted his biceps when he put me down. ‘Someone’s been working out.’
‘That’s nothing. Check this out.’ He swiftly removed his shirt, revealing a ripped stomach. A group of giggling girls wolf-whistled as they passed. Curtis licked his finger then rubbed one of his nipples with it in an extremely camp Austin Powers-style pose.
I laughed. ‘I’ve missed you, Curtis, but I’m going to regretfully ask you to put your clothes back on before you get us arrested for indecent exposure.’ The Station Manager was marching towards us with a face like thunder.
‘Spoilsport.’ He pulled his shirt back on. ‘Enough about me, though, let’s look at you, Red.’ He stepped back while I did a twirl. ‘Not bad at all. Not slutty, but I approve.’
I smoothed down the short flared skirt on the emerald green halter-neck dress. ‘I think you know me well enough to know that I have nothing in my wardrobe that fits that description.’
‘Even if you did, I don’t think “slutty” is a word that could ever be applied to you, Red. You are, and always have been, classy. Shall we?’ He offered me his arm.
‘Don’t you have a bag?’ I asked, registering the absence of any luggage.
‘No. Even a wee bag would get in the way. I’ll borrow your toiletries and buy a new T-Shirt tomorrow.’
‘And some pants,’ I suggested.
‘Why? I’m going commando now. I’ll do the same tomorrow.’
I laughed again. ‘Too much information.’
‘You asked. So, where first? I haven’t been out drinking in Whitsborough Bay since college and I’m desperately hoping the place has changed since then. Is there anywhere that does cocktails?’
‘Blue Moon. Follow me.’
‘To the most stunning woman in Whitsborough Bay.’ Curtis clinked his ‘Flirtini’ glass against mine.
‘To the hottest man in Scotland,’ I toasted back. ‘And to a great night out.’
‘I guarantee that, but I can’t guarantee you’ll remember it all because I intend to get you absolutely paralytic tonight. If you don’t puke your guts up, I’ll consider it my personal failure.’
‘Can we just stick with the paralytic and avoid the puking part? I promise I’m a cheap date because paralytic will probably only take three of these.’
Curtis took my hand and brought it to his lips. ‘You, my beauty, could never be referred to as cheap.’
‘Gosh, Curtis, I’ve missed you so much. Why have we left it so many years?’
Curtis did a dramatic shrug of his shoulders and flung his hands out, nearly spilling his drink. ‘Life, Red. Life got in the way. Plus, setting up what I’m sure will become Glasgow’s finest hair salon requires working your arse off at weekends and makes catching up with fabulous friends like you a little tricky. But I’m here now. Do you want to talk about your gay husband?’
‘Not really.’ And especially not after his shock proposal the night before.
‘Good, because neither do I. Instead, I have a wicked plan. Down these then take me to a quiet pub.’
‘A quiet pub?’
‘Yes. I have very specific requirements. No music and quite a lot of people, preferably middle aged to old.’
I frowned. ‘You’re describing The Grey Goose which hasn’t changed since you left. I can’t imagine that’s your kind of place.’
‘Oh, it isn’t. I hate that pub. But we’re going to play a little game and it’s the perfect venue for it. Now down that in one and let’s go.’
‘You see that couple over there,’ Curtis said while we waited for our drinks at the bar of The Grey Goose.
‘What, the couple who aren’t speaking, but clearly feel an obligation to come out to the pub given that it’s Friday night?’
‘That’s the ones. Do you know them?’
‘No.’
‘Do you know anyone in the pub?’
I looked around. There were twenty or so drinkers scattered around the place in couples and singles. The minimum age was late-fifties and the dress code was beige. ‘No. Nobody.’
‘Brilliant. We can have some fun, then, without sullying your reputation as an upstanding department head. We’re going to give those two something to talk about. Play along.’
Before I could ask to what I’d be playing along, he’d taken a seat next to the silent couple and I felt I had to follow.
‘So, it burns when you pee?’ he announced.
I spat my drink back into the glass. It was either that or the table. ‘Curtis!’
‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘It’s just that I’ve had a burning sensation too and I wondered whether it’s because a brother and sister shouldn’t sleep together…’
The evening quickly descended into depravity from that point.
We burst through the doors of Minty’s, clinging to each other and giggling hysterically.
‘I seriously can’t believe you came out with all of that,’ I said. ‘You’re a sick, sick puppy, Curtis McBride.’
‘Elise? Curtis?’
I looked up. ‘Sarah! My best friend!’ I flung my arms round her. ‘It’s been weeks. Why’s it been so long?’
Sarah let go of me and wrinkled her nose. ‘Because you’ve been avoiding me?’ she suggested.
I nodded. ‘Good point. S’nothing personal. It’s just… cos of Gary… and weddings… you know…?’
‘I know. But we didn’t have to talk about either of those subjects unless you’d wanted to, did we?’
Even in my drunken state, I could hear the edge to her voice and knew that I’d really hurt her. So much for friendship-preservation. Staying away had probably caused more damage than moaning about Gary instead of wedding-planning would have done. Damn! ‘Sorry. We’ll go out soon. I promise.’
She smiled. ‘I’ll hold you to it. Speaking of long time, no see, how are you, Curtis?’ She spoke in the forced pleasant tone that I knew she reserved for awkward customers. She didn’t dislike Curtis; she just worried that he tended to land me in trouble whenever we were together. It was a legitimate concern because he usually did.
Curtis grabbed her and twirled her round like he’d done with me at the station earlier then gave her a big smacker on the cheek. ‘All the better for seeing you. I believe congratulations are in order.’
‘Thank you. ’ She held out her hand so Curtis could admire the ring.
‘Stunning. Just like you. I’m liking the soft curls by the way. Perfect for your bone structure. Gorgeous.’
The flattery had clearly worked because her tone changed to genuinely polite. ‘Would you like to join us? We’re just over there.’ She pointed towards the back of the bar then pulled a face. ‘Clare’s here, though. So if you don’t want to…’
Curtis put a protective arm round my shoulder. ‘I’ll protect her from The Rampant Leprechaun.’ We both howled with laughter. Talk about an echo from the past. I’d completely forgotten that Curtis has christened her that. What a great memory he had.
‘O-kay.’ Sarah looked like she was already regretting the invite.
‘We’ll get some drinks then join you.’ Curtis shooed her away. ‘Give us ten minutes or so.’
With a worried look, Sarah returned to her group. I could just see Nick’s head. There was another man with them, but I couldn’t see him properly. I bobbed about to get a better view. Stevie? A pang of guilt shot through me for turning down his offers of a shoulder to cry on since he’d helped me move.
‘Tequila time!’ Curtis placed two shot glasses in front of me, a saucer of lemon pieces, and a salt cellar.
‘Oh no.’
‘Oh yes. One, two, three…’
I’m not entirely sure how my unsteady legs managed to carry me across the bar to Sarah’s group, but Curtis’s supporting arm certainly helped. Sarah jumped up when she saw us and did the introductions while Nick pulled up extra chairs. I was relieved to sit down before I collapsed in an undignified heap on the floor.
‘Clare. Great to see you as always,’ I said, pointing to her.
‘Elise!’ Sarah hissed. ‘Be nice.’
‘I am being nice. I said it was great to see her.’
‘It’s the way you said it.’
‘Shhhh.’ I put my finger to my lips and missed. ‘Anyway, it’s rude to whisper.’
‘How are you, Elise?’ Clare said.
‘It turns out my husband’s gay and it’s taken him fifteen years to admit it so my whole marriage has been a lie. I only found out because I found him shagging his best friend in our shower.’ I pointed at Stevie. ‘So we’ve split up and I’m living in Sarah’s auntie’s spare room. So, as you can probably imagine, I’m feeling pretty shit right now. But thanks for asking. Or should I just have given the standard answer of fine?’
I waited for some sarcastic comment about it serving me right for marrying so young or a statistic about how many marriages ended in divorce, but all Clare said was, ‘I’m really sorry. Nobody deserves to have that sort of bollocks happen to them. Your man Gary’s an eejit.’ It sounded like she genuinely meant it. Clare being nice? That was certainly a first.
‘We’re going to throw some shapes in Stardust,’ Curtis announced. ‘Anyone fancy joining us?’
‘Me!’ Clare said. ‘Don’t look at me like that, Sarah. It’ll be grand. You’ve been
promising me a trip to Whitsborough Bay’s finest nightclub since you moved home.’
‘I know. And I will take you… if I must… but not on a Friday,’ Sarah said. ‘I’ve got an early wedding tomorrow. I’ve got to be at the shop by seven.’
Clare pouted.
‘I don’t mind going,’ Stevie offered. ‘I can see Clare back to yours.’
‘Are you sure you both want to go?’ she asked. They nodded so Sarah reached into her bag and handed Clare her key.
Two hours later, Curtis had well and truly achieved his goal of getting me paralytic. I knew that if I had even one sip more of alcohol, he’d achieve his other goal of making me throw up. I staggered off the dance floor and ordered a pint of water then made my way unsteadily towards a quiet corner where I slumped onto an unexpectedly hard sofa. My head felt fuzzy, my feet throbbed, and it surely had to be past my bedtime. I rummaged in my bag for my Blackberry to check the time and spotted a text from Gary. What now? More propositions to play happy families? With shaking hands, I opened the message and concentrated hard on focussing my eyes:
* From Gary
Thanks for your understanding yesterday. Not sure what I was thinking. I don’t need a week to decide about the house. Too many memories for me too so let’s both start over. I’ll get some estate agents to value it next weekend and, if you’re happy with the price, I’ll get it on the market the week after. Really sorry it’s come to this
I sipped on my water as I stared at his text. How should I feel? Happy? Angry? Numb?
‘I’m guessing you’ve had plenty if you’ve moved onto water.’
I looked up to see Stevie holding a short glass. ‘Can I join you?’ he asked.
‘Be my guest. But the sofa’s rock hard. Be warned.’
He sat beside me and shuffled his bum. ‘You’re right. It’s like a breeze block.’
‘Told you.’
He took a sip of his drink then put it down on the table. ‘It’s great to see you enjoying yourself, Elise. You deserve a good night out after what you’ve been through.’
Getting over Gary (Whitsborough Bay Trilogy Book 2) Page 10
