Michael nodded. ‘Is it that other bloke from Saturday night? Steve, is it? Are you seeing him?’
I desperately hoped Stevie had the humanity to stay in the lounge and not punish Michael with an appearance in the hall. ‘It’s Stevie and, no, I’m not seeing him either. He’s a good friend, though, and I’d like to think you and I can be friends too.’ I groaned again. ‘Another cliché! I genuinely mean it, though. I really, really like you and I’d like us to be friends, but I understand if you’d rather not. I can’t offer you anymore than that, though.’
Michael nodded slowly. ‘That’s a definite no, isn’t it?’
‘Sorry.’
He shrugged. ‘Friends it is, then. But maybe friends who don’t meet up again for a while, though? I may need some space to get you out of my head.’ My heart sank. What had I done to the poor guy? He took one more long, sad look into my eyes. ‘I’d better go. My dad could be back at any moment with Kay and I don’t fancy the Spanish Inquisition. Goodbye, Elise.’ He leaned forward and gently kissed me on the cheek.
‘Goodbye, Michael,’ I whispered as I closed the door.
‘You were out with Michael on Wednesday?’ I jumped and turned round. Stevie stood in the lounge doorway, a strained expression on his face.
‘You heard everything?’
He nodded.
‘I’m sorry, Stevie. You both asked me out after the party. I agreed to see you on consecutive nights so I could let you both down lightly, but I chickened out.’
‘So what you said to Michael applies to me too? You’re not interested in me either?’
I leaned against the door and slowly slid to the floor, my legs feeling like they were made of liquid.
‘I am interested.’ Tears filled my eyes again. ‘But I can’t get involved with either of you. Please don’t ask me who I like the most because I don’t know, and the reason I don’t know is because I can’t allow myself to think about it, and the reason I can’t allow myself to think about it is the reason I can’t get involved, and I know that sounds like absolute gibberish, but it’s the best I’ve got right now so you can bloody well take it or leave it, but it’s all you’re going to get.’ The last few words were barely audible as, for the first time since discovering I was pregnant, the pain, confusion and frustration bubbled over into hysterical sobs.
‘Hey, Elise.’ Stevie dashed to my side and gathered me in his arms. He stroked my back and my hair and rocked me gently while I clung onto him and cried for my husband’s betrayal, Daniel’s betrayal, my fatherless baby and the tangled web of deceit I’d weaved.
‘It’s alright.’ He stroked my hair away from my face. ‘I’m here for you.’
His face was so close to mine that I could see a spattering of freckles across his nose and cheeks. The tenderness in his eyes was beguiling and, next minute, his lips were on mine. Had I kissed him first or had he kissed me? Who knew, but I wanted him so badly and I could tell from the urgency in his kiss that he felt the same.
One of his hands reached into my hair and the other round my back, pulling me even closer until it felt like our bodies were moving as one just like it had felt with Daniel that night on the beach. Shit! Daniel! The baby!
I pulled away suddenly. ‘I can’t do this, Stevie. I’m so sorry. You’d better leave.’ I scrambled to my feet and opened the door, heart racing, breathing laboured.
‘I’m sorry, Elise. I shouldn’t have done that.’
‘It was my fault. Please don’t blame yourself. It’s me. It really isn’t anything you’ve done wrong. Believe me, it’s all me.’ And Daniel.
Stevie turned as he stepped outside and took my hand in his. ‘You know where I am if you need me.’
I nodded, willing myself not to kiss him or start crying again. I shut the door quickly and slumped against it. Damn, damn, damn!
Chapter 30
* From Sarah
Hi Elise. Are you OK? I’ve left messages with Auntie Kay and on your voicemail, but you haven’t returned my calls. I’ve been round a few times and found nobody in. I’m worried about you. Are you still poorly? Stevie says he’s seen you, but he’s being cagey about it. Has something happened between you two? Sorry to pry and sorry to quiz you by text, but I can’t get hold of you any other way. Please get in touch to let me know you’re OK xxxxxx
* To Sarah
I’m fine. I promise. Sorry I haven’t returned your calls. Really busy week at school. I’ll come round on Wednesday after school if my slot’s still free! xx
* From Sarah
Phew. My door’s open for you any time. See you on Wed :) xx
I walked slowly towards Flowers & Gifts after school the following Wednesday. I had to tell Sarah about the baby. I’d cancelled on her and avoided her so much lately that she’d very likely convinced herself that I was still upset about her getting married while I got divorced. It wasn’t fair on her and it wasn’t the type of person I was. Must tell Sarah about the baby. No more lies. Must tell Sarah about the baby.
I walked up and down Castle Street four times before I felt brave enough to knock on the door.
‘Elise! Thank God you’re here. You won’t believe what’s happened.’ She pulled me into the shop and locked the door. ‘I’ve made you a fruit tea.’
I followed her into The Outback and sat on the battered leather chair while she heaved herself onto the desk. The last time we’d sat at the desk together had been about ten months before when she’d just taken over the shop. Sarah had been moaning about her disastrous love-life and envying me for being happily married… or so she thought. Less than a year later and how things had changed. She was getting married in twelve-and-a-half weeks and I was getting divorced and having a baby.
‘What’s happened, then?’ I asked, eager to buy time before I shared my news.
Sarah rolled her eyes. ‘What hasn’t happened? Serious wedding trauma.’
I sipped on my tea as Sarah told me a long convoluted tale about a double-booked wedding car, out-of-stock favours, the suit-hire shop losing the order for the men’s morning suits, and the invite printers going bust after she’d paid a deposit. To be fair to her, it did sound like she was having a really rough ride with pretty much everything going wrong that could go wrong. I knew how important it was to her to get her day perfect, but I couldn’t fully concentrate. The only thing on my mind was saying the words ‘I’m pregnant’ to her and, after what she’d been through, I was worried that it might tip her over the edge.
‘And to top it all,’ she continued, ‘Callie’s only gone and announced that she’s pregnant.’
I sat upright. ‘Callie’s what?’
‘She’s pregnant. I’ve had to order her dress in a bigger size and then there was a huge panic because the manufacturer told Ginny they’d already made them and they’d have to charge me for both sizes which was going to be a financial disaster after losing the deposit on the invites.’ She paused for breath and I bit my lip, realising I’d forgotten to ask Ginny about ordering me a bigger size. Looked like that was going to be a costly moment of forgetfulness.
‘Could Callie pay?’ I suggested.
Sarah shook her head. ‘I wouldn’t have asked her. Money’s tight for them as it is and, with a baby on the way, they’ll need every penny. Thankfully there’s no need. Turns out they were looking at the wrong order and our dresses won’t be cut till next week so I was just in time.’
‘Crisis averted, then?’ I made a mental note to send Ginny a message on Facebook as soon as I got home.
‘Well, that part is,’ Sarah said, ‘but Callie’s got terrible sickness so she might have to drop out of being a bridesmaid altogether if it doesn’t improve.’
My eyes widened. ‘You’re sacking her for being pregnant?’
Sarah laughed. ‘Of course not! As if I’d do something so mean. It was Callie’s suggestion. She’s terrified of
standing at the front of the church and projectile vomiting all over my wedding dress so she suggested she’d be better off at the back of the church where she can make a swift exit if needed.’
I sipped on my tea wondering if it was the right moment to throw another pregnant bridesmaid into the mix. It didn’t feel like it. Although Sarah was making a joke of it, I knew how stressed and worried she’d be about getting everything perfect for her big day. Maybe if I stuck to the subject of pregnancy, a more appropriate moment would present itself. ‘I didn’t realise they wanted a family so soon,’ I said. Callie and Rhys were about to celebrate their first wedding anniversary and I could have sworn she’d told me they wanted to be married for three or four years before trying for a baby.
Sarah fiddled with a pen she’d removed from a tub on the desk, clicking it on and off. ‘They didn’t, but apparently some friends have had an IVF baby recently after trying for five years to conceive naturally. They hadn’t considered the possibility that it might take ages or might not happen at all so they decided to ditch the protection and, of course, it happened immediately. They’re acting like it’s the most unexpected thing in the world.’
I flinched. ‘Unexpected pregnancies happen.’
‘Yeah. When you’re using protection, but when you’re not using anything, what do you expect? And Rhys should have known better.’
‘Why?’
‘Because he knows he’s fertile. He’s already a dad.’
I frowned. ‘Is he?’
‘He’s Megan’s dad. Didn’t you know that?’
‘Megan who?’
Sarah laughed. ‘Are you having a senior moment? Izzy’s daughter? Bridesmaid at Jess’ wedding? Ring any bells?’
Izzy? Yes, she rang lots of bells. Especially the one marked ‘Lock up your boyfriends’. I knew she wasn’t entirely to blame for what happened at Jess’ wedding because Daniel would have charmed the pants off her — literally — but she’d known he was my boyfriend so she should have kept them firmly in place. ‘The subject of Megan’s dad never came up and I never asked. None of my business.’
‘Well now you know.’ Sarah put the pen back in the pot and stretched. ‘Sorry. I’ve not stopped moaning since you arrived, have I? It’s been a fraught few weeks and I promise I’m going to shut up about the wedding now. I think I just needed to offload, particularly after Callie’s announcement. How are you? You still look a bit pale.’
Yes and that probably had a lot to do with the bombshell she’d just dropped. I could hardly make my announcement now. It would push her over the edge. ‘Still not a hundred per cent,’ I said.
‘Did you go to the doctors?’
‘Yes.’
‘And?’
I chose my words carefully. ‘She said there’s nothing wrong with me. I just need to take it easy for a while and allow things to run their natural course.’
‘Oh. Stevie said he saw you on Friday…’
My heart raced at the mention of his name. ‘You’ve been talking about me?’
‘In passing. He happened to mention that he’d seen you.’
‘What did he say?’
‘Not a lot. I’m guessing he asked you out and you said no. Or something like that.’
‘Something like that,’ I muttered. ‘You might as well know that Michael asked me out too. Unless you already know that.’ It came out a little snappier than I intended it to and I could tell from the guilty expression that she did know. I really didn’t want to talk about it. The image of Michael’s hurt expression when I offered him only friendship, followed by that brief moment of passion in the hallway with Stevie had been haunting me.
‘And…?’ Sarah prompted when I remained silent.
I shrugged. ‘And I turned him down too.’
‘I thought you liked him. And Stevie. I wondered if you going out with them both last week was about helping you decide which—’
I slammed my tea down on the desk and sat forward in the chair. ‘Is there anything you don’t know about my comings and goings over the past week?’
‘Sorry.’ Sarah twiddled with her engagement ring. ‘I wasn’t prying, but where do you think both bouquets came from?’
‘Oh! I never thought… Sorry, Sarah.’ I wiped at the spillage on the desk with my hand and gave her a sheepish smile. ‘I’m sorry for that outburst. I’ve had a tough week. I like them both, but I don’t want to get involved with anyone right now. I want some time alone.’
‘Because of what Daniel did?’
‘You could say that.’
My Blackberry rang. ‘Sorry, Sarah.’ I connected the call. ‘Kay, hi, are you okay?’
‘Gary’s here,’ she said.
I stiffened. ‘Really? Why?’
‘He wouldn’t say. He’s really upset. Can you get here?’
‘Yes. See you in about ten minutes.’
I stood up. ‘Sorry, Sarah. Gary’s at Smuggler’s View. I have to go. Lovely catching up. I’ll see you on Saturday. Happy Birthday for then.’
As I dashed back towards Smuggler’s View, my mind flitted between two things: why was Gary at Smuggler’s View and what the heck was I going to do now that Callie had announced her pregnancy? I’d felt relieved when Sarah told me about Callie and I realised I couldn’t share my news. Why had I felt that way? I chewed it over for a few minutes before I found the answer. Because I still didn’t know how I felt about the baby myself. Was I sad about it? No. Was I happy? No. I just felt so… so… I searched around for the right word… numb. Yes, that was it. Like it was happening to someone else and not me.
The front door opened as I headed down the garden path and Kay stepped outside. ‘He’s in the lounge. He’s in a bit of a state.’
‘Do you know why?’
‘He wouldn’t say. I hope I did the right thing by calling you.’
‘Of course you did. Where are you going?’
‘For a walk.’
‘It’s your house, Kay. We can’t kick you out.’
‘I could do with the exercise and I might get some nice photos.’ She patted my arm. ‘I’ll be back in a couple of hours. Don’t let him upset you, though. You look exhausted.’
‘I am.’
I found Gary pacing up and down the lounge. ‘She knows,’ he said as soon as I walked into the room. ‘We were so careful yet she knows. How does she know? Did you tell her?’ Then he burst into tears.
I ran to him and held him tightly.
‘I take it you mean your mother?’ I asked when he’d calmed down enough to be led to the sofa to sit down.
He nodded.
‘I didn’t tell her. I said I wouldn’t and I kept my promise. I take it you didn’t tell her about you and Rob when I suggested it?’
He shook his head. ‘The timing never seemed right.’ I nearly laughed at the appropriateness of that statement given the conversation I’d just avoided with Sarah.
‘With your mother, the timing would never have been right. What did she say?’
He wiped his face with the tissue I offered. ‘What didn’t she say? The language, Elise. It was like she was possessed. She said I was as evil as Lloyd and that we were now both dead to her because of our sins. She started ranting about HIV and AIDS and how that would be God’s punishment to me for my “abnormal behaviour”. What sort of person would say a thing like that to her son?’ Tears coursed down his cheeks again and I took his shaking hand in mine.
‘I’m sorry,’ I said. ‘I really am. You know I’ve never been her biggest fan, but that’s worse than I could ever have expected from her. Have you told Rob?’
‘Not yet. He’d have stormed round and told her exactly what he thought of her. I’ll tell him, but I need to be less emotional about it. The only person I knew who’d understand was you. I know it’s asking a lot after—’
‘Stop right ther
e. You came to the right place, Gary. You were there during my mother’s finest hour and I’m here for you during yours.’
I made him a cup of tea and we talked about his encounter with his mother, how guilty he felt for not making more of an effort with Lloyd who he now realised would have had a far rougher time at the receiving end of his mother’s prejudices than he’d ever imagined, and how tough an existence his father must have had being married to such an opinionated, narrow-minded woman.
‘Other than the encounter with She Who Must Not Be Named, how are things?’ I asked.
‘The surgery expansion’s finally finished and the patients seem happy. It’s been chaotic, but it was worth it. The house sale’s progressing well although I still feel really strange selling our home.’
‘I know. It feels strange to me too. I don’t really miss the house, but I do miss what it represented.’
Gary nodded. ‘I know you said you don’t want any furniture, but it doesn’t seem right for me to keep it all.’
‘It’s the memories, Gary. I need a fresh start. If you feel guilty about keeping it, sell it and give me half the proceeds or, if you want to keep it, give me some money if that makes you feel better. I trust you to do what’s fair.’
He nodded again. ‘I’ll sort something out.’
We sat in silence for a moment. ‘And what about you and Rob?’ I asked. ‘How’s that going?’
Gary raised an eyebrow. ‘You really want to know?’
Did I? Actually, I did. I’d accepted our marriage was over some time ago, but I think I’d also come to terms with the reason. Was that because of my fling with Daniel or because I had more important things to focus on now? ‘Yes,’ I said. ‘I really want to know.’
‘It’s going really well, actually. We’re… No, it doesn’t matter.’
‘Go on. I promise not to have hysterics.’
‘No. You don’t want to hear this. I shouldn’t have said anything.’
‘You can’t leave it there, Gary. Let me guess. You’re moving in together. Am I right?’
Getting over Gary (Whitsborough Bay Trilogy Book 2) Page 24
