by Reilly, Cora
Rachel hugged me tightly. Adrian used that moment to appear in front of me. Rachel stepped back and glanced between him and me, then she left with an encouraging smile in my direction. She punched Adrian’s arm when she walked past him. He rubbed the spot, but never took his eyes off me. He stepped very close, so close that I could smell his aftershave, and could feel his breath on my ear. “I’m sorry for last night. Let me make it up to you.”
He drew back, meeting my wide-eyed stare. I was speechless.
“Nora?” my mother said from the doorway. Dad was already heading for the car. Mom was waiting for me and watching Adrian and me with a piercing look. Oh fuck.
I tore my eyes away from Adrian and followed my mother toward the Toyota without another word. Adrian’s eyes were following me until we drove off and disappeared behind the trees. He’d looked determined.
Let me make it up to you. What the hell did that even mean?
Chapter Nineteen
Bruno and the two Bearded Collies greeted me when I stepped into the house. I turned on the lights and bent down to pat their furry heads. Bruno wagged his stumpy tail and jumped up and down excitedly. His joy made me smile and some of the anger, frustration and confusion toward Adrian – and myself – disappeared. Mom entered the hall after me. Dad had only dropped us off in front of the house and then driven off toward a horse that was having trouble giving birth. That was the problem with being a vet: you never really had a free day if you didn’t want to lose your loyal customers, especially customers with expensive breeding horses.
Mom had been suspiciously silent during the car ride and she’d yet to say something since Dad left. I really wished he were here. Without him, Mom and I would inevitably end up fighting. Sadly, the emergency at work would probably keep him busy most of the evening and perhaps even all night, so he wouldn’t save me from Mom’s interrogation.
“So,” she began in a casual tone. “You and Adrian?”
I turned. “What do you mean?”
She ignored the dogs that were whirling around her, probably hoping for more bacon. “I could tell that there is something between you two.”
“There’s nothing between us.” Not anymore. Not that there was ever anything meaningful between Adrian and me to begin with. Let me make it up to you. I couldn’t get his parting words out of my mind. Now they actually alternated with ‘I don’t do virgins’ in my head.
Mom ignored my denial and simply kept talking. “He is easy on the eyes, that’s for sure. And I hear he’s a very successful lawyer in a Manhattan law firm, so he’d definitely be a good catch too.” I could tell from the dreamy look on her face that she was already planning my bridal shower and the wedding.
“Mom,” I said. “There is nothing between Adrian and me.” I accentuated every word so my mother would get it this time. She stared at me, disappointment clear on her face. “Are you sure?”
No. I hesitated. “Yes.”
Mom’s lips twitched. “I knew it! I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about him sooner.”
I let out a sigh, turned around and walked up the stairs slowly. Bruno followed at my heels but thankfully Mom got the hint. I entered my room and closed the door. Bruno tiptoed around me happily, his little eyes never leaving me. He was probably hungry. Bacon and whatever else my mom had given him throughout the day didn’t really constitute a healthy dog meal.
I stepped out of my ballerinas and pulled the cocktail dress over my head before slipping into comfortable clothes – a tank-top and sweatpants. I chanced a look at myself in the mirror and frowned. My skin was too pale and I was too thin. I had an A-cup, nothing to get excited about. My hair was thick and nice, and I liked my face, but my body certainly didn’t measure up to Adrian’s usual standards. His girls usually looked as if they could be Playboy bunnies. But Adrian had stared at my legs appreciatively, and the way he'd looked at me had made me feel beautiful. He'd even looked jealous of Chris. I didn't understand why.
He'd treated me horribly and now it seemed as if he was still interested in me. It didn't make sense. The only logical explanation for his behavior was guilt. He felt bad for how he'd acted and now he was trying to make up for it by acting nice. I hated being pitied and I certainly didn't want Adrian's pity.
I wanted him. I couldn't deny it. Even after everything, I wanted his adoration, his attention, his respect...his love. But not his pity. If pity was all he could give me, he could gladly keep it to himself.
I scowled at my reflection before leaving my bedroom and descending the staircase in hurried steps. Bruno shot past my legs and into the kitchen. He stopped in front of his feeding bowl. It was small and pink and had tiny white bones all around the rim. It looked adorable, but it didn't fit Bruno at all. He wasn't a lady dog after all. But as long as the bowl served its purpose to feed him, Bruno didn't mind.
He looked at me expectantly when I entered the kitchen and licked the bowl pathetically, as if he hadn't been fed in weeks. The TV was on in the living room, but I didn’t check to see if Mom was in there.
“Here you go.” I put a hand-full of dog food into the bowl and Bruno pounced on it as if he was starving. Within a minute, he'd scarfed down the food and sat down on his chubby butt to look at me.
“No more food, Bruno,” I told him. I made myself some coffee and sank down on a kitchen chair, sipping the hot liquid.
My thoughts kept revolving around Adrian and our chance meeting at the party. He'd been so gentlemanly and nice, and he'd looked very handsome. I was drawn to him like the moth to the light. But I'd seen enough moths burn and die when they came into contact with the light bulb to know the outcome of my draw to Adrian. I would only get hurt, even worse than I'd been hurt already. I had to stay away from Adrian and his sexy confident smiles.
I yawned. Bruno was still waiting in front of his feeding bowl, but I shook my head at him. Slowly I let my head drop to my arms that were crossed on the table. I stared out of the kitchen window at the stars.
When I'd first seen Adrian bang a girl, I'd wished the girl was me. In a way my wish had come true, though in a less pleasurable and fairytale-like way than I'd hoped it would. I'd hoped for romance and love, and words of adoration while making love. I still wanted that with Adrian, but I knew I could never have it. Not with Adrian.
Let me make it up to you.
Why did he have to say those words?
***
The sound of the entrance door opening and shutting awoke me and I sat up, rubbing my eyes to get rid of the sleepiness. Dad entered the kitchen when I looked up. It was already two in the morning. I'd fallen asleep on the kitchen chair and my neck didn't like it one bit. It was stiff from the uncomfortable position on the table top and I could barely turn my head.
“Hey dad.”
He sank down on the chair across from me and rubbed his face. “Shouldn't you be asleep? It's late.”
“I must have fallen asleep on the chair,” I said with a small shrug. “You woke me.”
Dad poured himself some cold coffee. “So how did you enjoy the party?”
“It was okay. How was the birth?”
“It went well. I hope you and your mother had a lovely time without me.”
“Don’t worry we didn’t fight. I just wish Mom would stop quizzing me about my life.”
“She asked about Frank’s son?”
I rolled my eyes. “Of course. She’s probably already designing wedding invitations.”
“Will there be a wedding?”
“Not you as well,” I groaned.
He shrugged. “Your mother and I want you to be happy.”
“Women can be happy without a man at their side.”
“That’s true. But being alone is not for everyone.” He bent down and kissed my forehead, then left the kitchen and headed upstairs.
He was right. I always wanted to act like the tough single woman who could deal with anything by herself, but if I was honest with myself, I wanted someone to take care of me, at lea
st occasionally. There were happy singles out there. Mona was one of them, but I wasn’t and would never be one of them.
***
The next morning, I got a text from Leon telling me that Mona had the flu and couldn’t take my shift for the night. I wasn’t even disappointed. Staying longer would only give Mom more time to question me about Adrian. She’s already tried unsuccessfully to pry more information out of me during breakfast. I told my parents I had to leave during lunch, and Mom’s face made it clear that she thought I was making it up.
It was late afternoon when I arrived in New York. I headed for the rental car station, not wanting to pay for the car for another day when I didn’t even need it. Sadly that proved a stupid decision. Returning the rental car took forever and now I had to hurry to make it to work in time. I rushed to my apartment building and quickly changed into a short black skirt, high heels and a tight white blouse – my most effective work clothes. I wished I had more time. I wanted to talk to Amy about the party and what Adrian had said, but that would have to wait until tomorrow. She wouldn’t return from work for another two hours anyway. I didn’t allow myself even a single glance toward Adrian’s window as I picked up everything I’d need for work. Then my eyes landed on Bruno; he’d curled up on the sofa and was snoring. Jack was always particularly hot headed on weekends, but I could hardly leave Bruno alone all night. My eyes darted to the clock. I was going to be late. I picked up Bruno who wiggled in my arms in protest, and grabbed my purse from my kitchen counter, then I practically ran out of my apartment and threw the door shut.
I didn’t wait for the elevator. It always took too long. Instead I took the stairs. When I finally arrived at Jack’s bar, I was only five minutes late. It didn’t stop Jack from screaming at me, especially when he spotted Bruno who was hiding behind my legs.
Only Leon’s jokes whenever I passed the bar and his encouraging smiles kept me from losing my mind completely. Of course, fifteen minutes before my shift was over the biggest asshead customer ever got annoyed because we were starting to close up and gripped my blouse to stop me from walking past him and ripped off all but two of the buttons. I had to use a safety pin to close my blouse so I wouldn’t flash everyone with my pink bra. After that, Leon told me he could take care of the rest and sent me home. I didn’t even protest. I grabbed Bruno and was out of there.
It was after midnight when I finally stepped up to the front door of my apartment. I couldn’t even remember the last time I was this tired. I think it wasn’t even a physical thing; my brain just needed a time off after all that had happened in the last two days.
I rummaged in my purse for my keys and when I didn’t find them there, I went through all of my pockets, of which there weren’t that many, namely only the ones in my coat. My skirt was too short and tight to provide room for additional pockets. I didn’t find my keys anywhere and finally came to the horrible conclusion that I must have forgotten them in my apartment earlier during my hasty departure. Thunder rumbled in the distance and a soft drizzle had started coming down, coating my coat and naked legs. I shivered as I pulled out my mobile and dialed Amy’s number. It went to voicemail. Trying not to sound too panicky, I left her a message, then I dropped the phone back into my purse and leaned against the door to escape the rain.
Bruno stared up at me, his fur already wet. The rain was soaking through my summer coat, leaving me cold and wet. I took out my phone again and tried Jared’s number, but again I only got their voicemail. I hung up, not leaving a message. Resigned, I wrapped my arms around my chest, considering my options. I could ring the bell of one of my other neighbors. They would at least let me into the house and I could camp in front of my apartment door until Amy returned. My eyes traveled up the length of the building. Most windows were dark and I didn’t know to whom the illuminated ones belonged. This wasn’t an option. I didn’t know anyone well enough to disturb them in the middle of the night. Involuntarily, my gaze swiveled to Adrian’s window. The lights were on. Maybe he’d returned late from the visit with his parents. I straightened, then hesitated. I didn’t know Adrian well enough to show up on his doorstep and ask for shelter. And being back in his apartment after what had happened between us might not be the best idea anyway. A gust of wind tugged at my hair and the rainfall turned from drizzle to downpour. Oh Amy, why couldn’t you be home?
I checked my mobile to make sure I hadn’t missed a call, but there was nothing. I risked another glance at Adrian’s window, then sighed.
Let me make it up to you.
That’s what he had said. Well, he could make it up to me by letting me wait in his apartment until Amy returned from wherever she was.
I held one hand up over my head – as if that was any kind of protection against the rain – and ran toward the other building, tugging Bruno behind me who didn’t want to be out in the open.
I scanned the name tags for Black, but there were no names on the bell buttons, only apartment numbers. Last time I was up there with Adrian, I didn’t exactly pay attention to his apartment number. From inside the concierge was watching me but didn’t bother to open the door for me. I glowered at him and he lowered his gaze to the flat screen of his computer. What the hell? Didn’t he recognize me? He saw me only two days ago. Then I realized that I probably wasn’t the only woman who returned to Adrian’s apartment to confront him. The concierge probably had direct orders from Adrian not to let any of his scorned ex-lovers into the building. Another gust of wind made me stumble against the glass door and my coat fly up. I pushed it down. Bruno snuggled up against my leg, seeking warmth. Why did tonight have to be the beginning of Fall weather?
I balled my hands to fists and began pounding the glass. The concierge looked up in alarm. I forced a smile and motioned for him to let me in. His eyes darted to his phone. Oh God, what if he called the police?
Then, at least, I’d be warm. A hysterical laugh bubbled out of me. Finally, the concierge pressed a button and with a buzz the door opened. I stumbled in and Bruno dashed past me, shaking off the water.
“Can I help you?” the concierge asked in a strained tone. He stood behind his lobby desk, the phone right in front of him. Was he worried I’d attack him? Or make a scene?
“No, thank you,” I said, heading toward the elevator. His eyes widened. “No, wait! I can’t let you go up there.”
“But I need to see Adrian Black.”
“I’m sorry I can’t let you go up.”
“Then call him. He’ll tell you he’s expecting me.”
“I’m afraid I can’t do that either. Mr. Black would have told me if he was expecting a guest.”
Anger boiled up in me. I forced my face into a calm mask, then lied, “Oh, okay. Can you at least write down a message for him?”
He nodded and lowered his eyes to look for a pen. I used the moment to dash toward the elevator, hit the ‘open button’ and slip inside. The concierge was coming around his desk but before he could cross the lobby, the elevator doors slid shut and it began moving. I could only hope he didn’t have a stop button at his desk.
I let out a breath when I arrived on Adrian’s floor but my bravery quickly waned as I approached his door. The elevator had already started heading back down to the ground floor, probably to pick up the concierge.
I picked up my pace, then came to a stop in front of Adrian’s apartment. It was 12:30 by now and doubt filled me. Could I really show up on Adrian’s doorstep like that? I knew he hadn’t meant his words like that. Let me make it up to you. But I also wasn’t exactly sure what he’d meant. The sound of the elevator returning helped me make up my mind. I jabbed the bell button before I could get cold feet.
I waited and listened but at first nothing happened. The elevator opened at the end of the hall and the concierge got out. Oh shit.
Finally, steps rang out and the door opened. Adrian stood behind it, dressed in only black pajama pants. I’d never seen his naked chest up close. During our one-night stand, if you could even call it th
at, I hadn’t come anywhere close to undressing him. As I took a closer look at Adrian’s surprised face, I noticed how mussed up his hair was – as if he’d fallen out of bed, or as if someone had run their hands through it, which fit the lipstick stains on his mouth better. And as I lowered my gaze further I noticed the bulge in his pants. Holy shit. He had a boner. I’d interrupted him during a fuck session with another woman.
Chapter Twenty
Embarrassment crawled over my skin, quickly followed by anger. Let me make it up to you, my ass. I couldn’t believe Adrian was already fucking someone else. The concierge caught up to me, his face red, and panting. Up close, I could see how pockmarked his skin was. “I’m sorry, Mr. Black, I couldn’t stop her.”
Adrian ignored the man. His green eyes slid over my wet hair clinging to my face, my soaked coat, my naked legs covered in goose-bumps and Bruno who sat beside me, waggling his tail as if he was happy to see Adrian. Then his gaze found my face again. “Nora?”
“I forgot my key in my apartment and my spare key is with my best friend Amy, but I can’t reach her, so I thought…” I trailed off. What exactly had I thought? A woman stepped into view behind Adrian. She was wearing a dark blue bathrobe – Adrian’s bathrobe from the look of it. She was almost as tall as him, but not as wide in the shoulders, so it hung off her. Her lipstick had tinged the skin around her mouth red and her black hair was a tangled mess. She was barefoot and probably in her early thirties, older than Adrian and his usual targets.
My cheeks flooded with blood and I closed my mouth. I shouldn’t have come here. I was an idiot.
The concierge reached out as if to escort me back to the elevator, but Adrian stepped in. “It’s okay. You can leave, Matt.”
“Are you sure, sir?” He was peering at the woman who still waited inside Adrian’s apartment, leaning in the doorway to what could only be the bedroom.
